You may think I'm overcome with torment and depression
Symptoms common to the loser of a big election
But not me, you see
I've got a secret weapon
That keeps me happy and gay
I'm still rich
As far as I'm concerned, this election thing
Went off without a hitch
'Cause now I'll have the best tax write-offs I could ever get
While he has nothin' but gettin' blamed
For the U.S. goin' to H. E. double hockey sticks!
Oh, life's a bitch
Wait, except it ain't for me
'Cause I'm still rich
I never really wanted that low wage "president" job to taint my career
Besides, who on Earth could possibly get by on 400,000 dollars a year?
Now that I'm done pretending to have fun spending time with the plebeians
My speaking fee will multiply by three - so if you ask me, we won!
This may be the happiest day of my entire life
I promise you I'm definitely not crying inside
Because I'm still...
Trust me, my strategy worked perfectly
Didn't have one single glitch
Shucks, I can go overseas and invest in whatever I darn well please
While Obama triple-double checks his pension
To make sure it isn't overly Chinese!
Life's a flippin' bitch!
Wait, except it ain't for me cuz I'm still