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A Very Zombie Christmas TNBC


Song: The Night Before Christmas<br />
Artist: The Kings Of Carnage<br />
Album: A Very Zombie Christmas<br />
Available On Itunes Now<br />
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LYRICS:<br />
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house<br />
Not a creature was stirring, except for a mouse<br />
I kill the mouse, BANG<br />
That's good to kill, well done<br />
The shotguns were hung by the chimney with care,<br />
In hopes that Zombie Claus soon would be there<br />
I love Zombie Claus<br />
<br />
Takeo and Dempsey were snug in their beds,<br />
what<br />
While visions of murder danced in their heads<br />
MURDER! I like murder<br />
And Nikolai in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,<br />
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, <br />
I be big spoon, you be little spoon, ya<br />
shh, don't tell anyone ok<br />
When out on the lawn there arose such a clamor,<br />
I reached for my luger and pulled back the hammer.<br />
Away to the window I flew without haste,<br />
Tore open the shutters and began to lay waste.<br />
BANZAI!!!<br />
The blood on the breast of the new-fallen dead<br />
Gave the luster of rubies all glistening and red,<br />
When, what to my wondering eyes should I see,<br />
But a miniature sleigh pulled by filthy monkeys<br />
Oh, I hate monkeys<br />
<br />
And then, as I stood with my mouth all agape<br />
I heard the moaning and gnawing of those damn dirty apes.<br />
Monkey have no honor<br />
As I drew back the trigger, all set for the kill,<br />
Down the chimney came Zombie Claus -- ah, what a thrill!<br />
<br />
He was wearing the flesh he tore from St. Nick,<br />
And his clothes were all bloody<br />
Man this is sick<br />
SICK!<br />
A bundle of limbs poked out from his sack,<br />
And he looked like a hobo, just having a snack.<br />
Like my brother, he is broke<br />
His eyes were glazed over, his nose was not there!<br />
His cheeks were half eaten, but he had not a care!<br />
The drool from his mouth spilled onto the floor,<br />
And the stench from his carcass, I simply adored<br />
That's just wrong<br />
The stump of a leg he held tight in his teeth,<br />
And he wore some intestines on his head like a wreath<br />
<br />
He had sores on his face and a distended belly,<br />
That shook when he moaned, like a bowlful of jelly.<br />
Like pregnant hooker<br />
He was deliciously gaunt, it made me giggle,<br />
And I laughed and I laughed, I wet myself a little<br />
It happens<br />
<br />
A wink of his eye as it &quot;popped&quot; from his head,<br />
Oh how I love, the sexy undead <br />
really<br />
He spoke not a word, and went straight for my heart,<br />
As I leveled my 12 gauge, and blew him apart,<br />
Now were talkin<br />
<br />
On the floor lay his finger aside of his nose,<br />
On the tree, like ornaments, were his teeth and his toes<br />
And then in an instant, he sprang back to life, <br />
I threw down the gun, and reached for my knife.<br />
You need katana<br />
<br />
But up the chimney he went, as he gave me the finger,<br />
&quot;Nein!&quot; I shouted &quot;you must stay, you must linger!&quot;<br />
No, come back Zombie Claus <br />
And I heard Zombie Claus moan, as he flew out of sight,<br />
&quot;Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-bite.&quot;<br />
<br />
Bite, get it, **** you

Views: 929 Submitted: 12/22/2010
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