what kind of D&D is this?!. . thatg) :1 original creeper D E-: : -s: dunwall: ajust gave a goblin an accidental handjob in D& D I' m For anyone curious, I tried
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what kind of D&D is this?!

thatg) :1 original creeper D E-: : -s:
dunwall:
ajust gave a goblin an accidental handjob in D& D I' m
For anyone curious, I tried to rip his dick off and then
botched my roll. Now our caravan won' t stop calling me the
Hand of Mercy?’
Well-.. Did he at least stop trying to kill you?
He started crying. We had blinded him and attacked him and I was
fondling his junk. It was overall an upsetting experience for the poor guy.
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Submitted: 12/11/2013
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+18
#123 - Aelric **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (5 replies)
stickied by cheastnut
User avatar #12 - ImmortalBaconEater (12/11/2013) [+] (28 replies)
I have no understanding of D&D but the fact that you can accidentally give a goblin a handjob honestly has made my night.
#1 - xexpertx (12/11/2013) [+] (46 replies)
People still play D&D?

Are they even trying to lose their virginities?
#3 to #1 - IAMDIZZYONFANTA (12/11/2013) [-]
My girlfriend got me into it, broskillet. The audience is pretty much uni students with too much time.

If you want virgins look at MtG.
User avatar #23 - mewsh (12/11/2013) [+] (4 replies)
While playing D&D, I once accidentally drank 2 bottles of vodka and swapped the genders of everyone in a 2 mile radius.
#55 - tffan (12/11/2013) [+] (5 replies)
This post suddenly went from D&D to Corruption of Champions.
#25 - jrondeau **User deleted account** (12/11/2013) [+] (5 replies)
I try to never judge people for having harmless habits, but hearing that someone plays D&D usually makes me want to get the hell away from them because about 90% of the people I've met that play it are overly creepy and sometimes perverted neckbeards.
I try to never judge people for having harmless habits, but hearing that someone plays D&D usually makes me want to get the hell away from them because about 90% of the people I've met that play it are overly creepy and sometimes perverted neckbeards.
User avatar #27 to #25 - optimogappi ONLINE (12/11/2013) [-]
You're hanging with the wrong crows, bro.
#28 - maaarknuuuut (12/11/2013) [-]
every time i've played d&d there's always this one friend
#24 - hudge (12/11/2013) [-]
+26
#154 - Aelric **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (17 replies)
#84 - yiffcario (12/11/2013) [+] (6 replies)
This 						****					 can actually happen in D&D??
This **** can actually happen in D&D??
User avatar #85 to #84 - johndapro (12/11/2013) [-]
Depends on your dungeon master. He decides what happens.

User avatar #310 - roegath ONLINE (12/11/2013) [+] (1 reply)
> Be me, Playing D&D with friends
> Be DM, Halfing rouge won't stop ******* around
> He sees locked compartment, Tell him its locked
> He jokingly says "I roll to unlock with my dick!"
> ******* light bulb
> I say "Do it", Table fall silent
> Rouge tries to get out of it, says he'll calm down
> "Roll for it dammit"
> He finally does it, He gets a 19+2
> He busts the lock with his dick, Table erupts in cheers, I am unmoved
> "Roll to pull out", Table is silent once more
> "What did you say Anon?"
> "You heard me, Roll to pull out"
> Halfing very hesitant
> He rolls a 2, A grin appears on my face
> As the Halfing tries to pull out, his dick comes off at the base
> Silence for what seemed like a few minutes
> The rouge learned on that day to never **** with me again
+18
#151 - Aelric **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (3 replies)
User avatar #58 - ThpiderMan (12/11/2013) [+] (3 replies)
A friend of mine once intended to rip his spine out of an orc's ass, he was an unarmed expert and like to kill people in weird ways, and he rolled terribly so he ended up just giving him a gentle fisting, and got his hand stuck in the orc's anus, and ended up losing the hand. His character was pretty high level, he'd been playing him for quite a while, so he was pretty upset.

Unrelated, but my foster brother played a character for years, he was a dwarf who had developed magical sperm, he'd masturbate constantly outside of battle, using his every turn to just do that, and fill various jars he'd spend all his money on to make seminal grenades. It was gross and stupid but surprisingly effective.
#220 - itsthatguyagain (12/11/2013) [+] (5 replies)
#214 - iamchicken (12/11/2013) [+] (3 replies)
D&D yuss
#196 - partisan (12/11/2013) [-]
>Group is battling a dragon
>Prepare to fight
>DM rolls for dragons attack
>gets a "1"
>" **** "
>second time rolls "1"
>dm: "Are you ******** me"
>Third time "1"
>"Dragon rips off own foot and stabs own heart"
User avatar #126 - scornedbythenine (12/11/2013) [-]
Poor DMs and GMs.
We are always ******* up their **** .

"Your party has been granted audience with the King through your actions aiding his Country. He casually invites your group to the balcony. After a long discussion he asks if you would do his Kingdom one more service, out in the forest there li-"

"I TAKE THE CROWN AND BITE HIS JUGULAR "
.....
[small]Roll for it [/small]
20
Rouge "I cover his mouth and i assume a disguise"

roll to keep pinned and roll to disguise

19 pin
20 disguise

"which disguise do you assume?"

Rouge "His"

GM:..................................
Leaves, the four of us laugh and begin a new age, an age of mandatory dragon dildo fights through out the land
+11
#152 - Aelric **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #34 - arkensas ONLINE (12/11/2013) [-]
I play a different RPG by Whitewolf and one of my characters is a poison type ninja guy who made a minor hallucinogenic so well it caused everyone within a three mile radius to have incredibly vivid hallucinations which ultimately caused the collapse of the entire city.

He was just trying to get a guard to piss off from his station.
User avatar #133 - patriotpenguin (12/11/2013) [-]
playing d&d recently
my druid has the ability to read peoples minds by touching hands
going through a town to meet the mayor and his wife at a party
the mayor/ mayors wife held the secret code to get through to the boss, dm said that the theif could also get the code by pickpocketing the leaflet from the mayors/mayors wife pokcet, the theif goes to the mayor and i check his wife, i roll to shake her hand, i botched it and ended up savagely beating her in front of the townsfolk
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