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zerglin    

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zerglin Avatar Level 125 Comments: Respected Member Of Famiry
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Gender: male
Age: 20
Facebook Profile: nop
Youtube Channel: uhuh
Steam Profile: mmm no
Consoles Owned: PC
Video Games Played: ALL
X-box Gamertag: nop
PSN: nop
Interests: Alot of stuff
Date Signed Up:9/24/2013
Last Login:9/20/2014
Location:USA
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#35844
Highest Content Rank:#3804
Highest Comment Rank:#6565
Content Thumbs: 454 total,  514 ,  60
Comment Thumbs: 299 total,  524 ,  225
Content Level Progress: 40% (4/10)
Level 45 Content: Sammich eater → Level 46 Content: Sammich eater
Comment Level Progress: 10% (1/10)
Level 125 Comments: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 126 Comments: Respected Member Of Famiry
Subscribers:0
Content Views:33424
Times Content Favorited:23 times
Total Comments Made:359
FJ Points:705

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funny pictures

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    Comments: 71
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    Uploaded: 11/11/13
    One does not simply... One does not simply...
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    Uploaded: 11/12/13
    Happy Halloween Happy Halloween
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    Uploaded: 04/28/14
    TF, Twisted Fate TF, Twisted Fate
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youtube videos

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user favorites

latest user's comments

#147 - .... Well **** . 08/21/2014 on Anon saves the day 0
#146 - **zerglin rolls 94** dubs or I have mono.  [+] (1 new reply) 08/21/2014 on Anon saves the day -2
User avatar #147 - zerglin (08/21/2014) [-]
.... Well fuck.
#54 - mee too. But got what is that shiny thing 07/22/2014 on On your left 0
#10 - This is not okay e.e 07/22/2014 on Attack on Pokemon 0
#21 - No but seriously though. It's weird that thats the first thing… 06/11/2014 on You like this, don't you. +2
#13 - can we just ban this person already 06/11/2014 on Long Walk +2
#27 - Its beautiful o3o 06/11/2014 on long time 0
#377 - its on like everything on the frontpage something about th… 06/11/2014 on People are bastards 0
#360 - Jesus **** Im tired of seeing this every 5 seconds.  [+] (2 new replies) 06/11/2014 on People are bastards +2
User avatar #364 - dehnoobshow (06/11/2014) [-]
What could have possibly been such a huge faggotry that requires spamming?
User avatar #377 - zerglin (06/11/2014) [-]
its on like everything on the frontpage
something about this isnt anime it isnt good
#180 - No but seriously, give me the data you have. It's probably got…  [+] (14 new replies) 05/12/2014 on Get yourself some abs 0
#189 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]
1. I'm fat, how do I get skinny?
> Cardio everyday, lifting 3-4x a week. But more importantly you must eat clean.

2. I'm skinny, how do I get muscular?
> Lift more, eat more, sleep more.

3. What does /fit/ think of my diet / workout? How many calories do I burn lifting / fapping?
> www.thedailyplate.com
> www.fitday.com/

4. How do I get rid of my belly/ love handles? How do I spot reduce/ TONE?
> tl;dr: You CANNOT spot reduce / tone.

5. I'm lean (low body fat %) but I still don't have any definition. Halp?
> LIFT MOAR

6. How do I get six-pack abs?
> Get your BF% down to 8%

7. How do I make these OATZ taste less disgusting?
> First of all, man up you pussy. After a while OATZ tastes good even uncooked (even Steel Cut). But if you must, things like Cinnamon, Peanut Butter, Vanilla Extract, Honey, Nuts, and Fruits are your best options.
#190 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]

8. I don't have any time to make OATZ or EGGZ. What cereal should I buy?
> Wake up earlier fgt. Seriously it takes like 2 minutes to make a hot bowl of OATZ. Scrambled EGGZ takes 10 minutes maximum depending on your stove. Hardboiled EGGZ are great if you don't have time to cook.

9. How do I look like Christian Bale in Batman?
> www.bodybuilding.com/fun/dark_knight_workout.htm

10. How do I look like Christian Bale (in The Machinist)?
> Starvation diet, holocaust, or /fa/
#191 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]
11. When is the best time to workout?
> In the morning. It kicks your metabolism up so you're burning more calories throughout the day.

12. Should I workout on an empty stomach first thing in the morning? I heard it burns the most fat!
> NO. The first thing your body wants in the morning is some simple carbs. Eat something light like a fruit or some toast (OATZ is a complex carb). Otherwise you'll be burning more muscle than fat. Also stop looking for damn shortcuts- that’s not how true fitness works.

13. I heard Milk was bad for you! Should I stop drinking milk? Which should I start drinking, soy/rice/etc?
> None. Milk is good for you. It's even good for babies, who have weak digestion systems. The only excuse you have for not drinking milk is if you're lactose intolerant. Milk is great for bulking up.

14. I did SQUATZ, but now I'm getting these stretch marks on my legs! HALP!?
> Deal with it. Over time they get white and nearly invisible. Alternatively, start at a lower weight and work your way up slowly.

15. What's a skinnyfat?
> Exactly what it sounds like. You aren't obese or round or whatever, but you are soft and have very little muscle mass or definition.
#192 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]
16. What's the cure for skinnyfat?
> LIFTZ
> Lift a lot of weight. Clean up your diet.

17. I'm a fatass. How do I stop eating so goddamn much?
> Eat more vegetables. They're filling and have low calories, and should be eaten with every meal if possible.

18. HOW DOES I DO HIIT ON TREADMILL?
> walking.about.com/od/treadmillworkouts/a/treadmillhiit.htm

19. >What is the beneficial nutritional aspect of Cottage Cheese? I mean, Christ, its just glop.
> Non-fat cottage cheese is extremely low-calorie, high-protein and one of the few places you will find casein, a water insoluble protein. Casein is (supposedly) best taken before bed (for bulking/ gaining) because of its slow absorbing properties.
> www.letmegooglethatforyou.com/?q=cottage+cheese

20. My posture is horrible from sitting at the computer all day and fapping to anime.
> LIFT. Also:
> wiki.answers.com/Q/What_exercise_is_best_for_correcting_Anterior_Pelvic_Tilt_and_improving_ov
erall_posture
#193 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]
21. Is it possible to do HIIT with LIFTING?
> Yes, for example:
> www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/sports_body_training_performance/the_tabata_method

22. I don’t have access to a gym, but I have a couple of dumbbells lying around. How does I get /fit/?
> You can still do SQUATZ, DEADLIFTZ, rows, lunges, etc. with just 2 dumbbells.
> www.criticalbench.com/exercises/dumbbell-exercises.htm

23. I’m an extreme poorfag, how does I get /fit/?
> Google bodyweight exercises and bodyweight training
> However you should try to get some weights ASAP

24. I lifted and now I’m sore! BAAAWWWWWW!
> First of all: MAKE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN YOUR LIFTING CORRECTLY. Watch all the YouTube videos you can, read all the articles possible, even ask the guido next to you (though he probably won’t know unless it’s a question on how to squat in the curl rack).
>Second: You may just be a big pussy and haven’t gotten used to delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS). Lactic acid builds up in your muscle when you LIFT correctly, and you feel the pain later on. Stretching can reduce DOMS.

25. HAY /FAT/ RECOMMEND ME A WORKOUT ROUTINE!
> No. All the information is already here. Stop being a lazy ass. Go read 7chan’s sticky or something.
#194 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]
26. How do skinny teenagers eat all this fast food but still stay skinny!? What’s their secret? Fast metabolism?
> Since they’re just starting to go through puberty and posting their cocks on /b/, their metabolism is being sped up through the flood of hormones. 99% of them are also probably skinnyfat, so nothing to be jealous about. Also the fast food they eat probably only has 500 calories, but they just say they “eat a lot”.

27. Halp /fit/ I need motivation.
> Start a Courage Wolf thread, although there’s most likely already one floating around.
#188 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]
Eat 5 meals a day. Never get hungry, never get full. Get some carbs and protein a couple of hours before your workout, and take some more protein and carbs within 30 minutes after.

There it is, a first month plan. The first month will decide if you can make the rest. Because if you stick to it (for real) in month one, you'll feel like a fucking million dollars and will drop at least 2" on your waist.

Make a commitment for one month. Test your integrity.

Anything that isn't excluded eat it in moderation at 6 times a day.
#187 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]
From this point on, you no longer drink sodas, sugary fruit drinks, or alcohol. You now only drink water and unsweetened tea.

From this point on, you no longer eat white bread, ever.

From this point on, you no longer eat any pork product or processed meat, ever.

From this point on you no longer eat any other fat/sugar combo candy crap snacks at all.

From this point on, you avoid fatty add-ons like cheese and sour cream and mayo. Lean meat already has enough fat in it.

Food is now on there for one purpose, to feed you protein and good carbs as efficiently as possible. You do not care about how it tastes, if it has the nutrition you need, its fucking delicious.

-Buy cans of chicken breast, and frozen boneless/skinless chicken breasts, eat one a day somehow no matter what.

-Buy eggs, boil them, peel them, and put them in the fridge.

-Buy cottage cheese. Learn to like it with berries in it.

-Buy beans, learn how to cook and eat them every day.

-Buy bananas and toilet paper

-Buy oatmeal, one flavored instant, and one big tub of the boring unflavored. Mix them half and half every morning for breakfast with a boiled egg and a banana a multivitamin and a glass of milk. This is more important than any other meal. You fucking eat it and love it.
#182 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]
The "Ultimate grocery list"

1. Meats: Skinless Chicken, Lean Beef (Round, Top round, Sirloin, Tenderloin), Lean Pork (Tenderloin, Loin chops), Fresh Fish (salmon, tilapia, mahi-mahi, shrimp, etc), Canned Tuna (in water not oil), Low-fat Turkey, Canadian Bacon, Tofu

2. Grains: OATZ, OATZ/bran/fiber/Flax cereal, Whole-wheat bread/bagels/pasta/pita/wrap/tortillas, brown rice, Whole-grain waffles, Couscous, Quinoa

3. Fruits: Apples, bananas, grapes, oranges, grapefruit, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, cucumber, avocado, peaches, plums, mangoes, cherries, passionfruit, kiwi, etc

4. Vegetables: Sweet potato, corn, artichoke, asparagus, lettuce (green/red leaf, romaine, butter, iceberg), Cabbage, carrots, broccoli, bean/alfalfa sprouts, celery, spinach, kale, beets, red/green/yellow peppers, onion, garlic, tomato, mushroom, etc

5. Beans: Red Kidney Beans, Chick Peas, Black Eyed Peas, Lentils, Pinto Beans, Soybeans, Lima Beans

6. Nuts: Natural Peanut butter, Unsalted/Plain/Raw Almonds, Walnuts, Cashew, Seeds

7. Dairy: Milk (2%/skim/nonfat), EGGZ, cheese (2%/part-skim/reduced fat), Ricotta cheese, Low-fat/Natural: yogurt, fat-free cream cheese, cottage cheese, ice cream

8. Oils: Olive Oil, Canola Oil, Peanut Oil, Sesame Oil

9. Other: Vinegar, Natural Honey, Coffee/Tea, Preserves (not jellies), Light Maple Syrup, Mustard, Cinnamon, Low-dose/Baby Aspirin

10. Supplements: Multivitamin (one at breakfast daily), Omega-3 Fish Oil (2000+ mg daily), Isolate Whey Protein (1 scoop daily, 1 scoop post-workout), Creatine

11. BROtips: Drink lots of water, Avoid high-fructose corn syrup, Avoid artificial flavors and colors, Limit caffeine intake to 1-2 cups of coffee/tea daily, Don't buy anything prepackaged (ex. fruit roll ups, rice crispy treats, potato chips, etc.), Watch portion sizes, "Prime" Beef has more fat than "Choice" or "Select" Beef, Try to buy 'Natural' products
#181 - skir (05/14/2014) [-]
Starting out without gym for autists
------------------------------

1. Buy a Weight Set (160+ lbs), Jump Rope, and Pull-Up Bar
2. Use the Jump Rope to Warm up and Cool down (10+ minutes)
3. Put the Pull-Up Bar on a door you pass through
4. Every time you pass through this door do a full set of pull-ups
5. Weights: SQUATZ, DEADLIFTZ, Overhead & Bench Press, Rows, Lunges
6. Light Weight, High Reps (8-12 reps) = Mass
7. Heavy Weight, Low Reps (2-6 reps) = Strength
8. Example workouts: 5x5 (5 sets, 5 reps each) and 3x10 (3 sets, 10 reps)
9. Rest 48-72 hours between these full-body workouts
10. Have 1 day dedicated to pure rest (no cardio or lifting)
11. Keep cardio under 1 hour. If you’re overweight consider cycling over jogging.
12. HIIT = High Intensity Interval Training. Best for burning fat (combined with good diet). Google it.
13. OATZ EGGZ WHEY; EAT 5-6 MEALS DAILY.
14. DON’T STARVE YOURSELF, YOU’LL ONLY GET FATTER.
15. DRINK PLENTY OF WATER
> nutrition.about.com/library/blwatercalculator.htm
16. GET PLENTY OF SLEEP. 7-9 hours per night.
17. ??????
18. PROFIT!!!!!!!
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