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#2 - The Infancy Narrative of Matthew is one of an imperial *******…  [+] (16 replies) 04/30/2015 on Jesus Christ +45
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#39 - stupro (04/30/2015) [-]
Sounds like Star Wars fanfiction.
#41 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
Only if you capitalize "imperial."
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#42 - stupro (04/30/2015) [-]
Only if i capitalize your Mom!

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#36 - superflyingcookie (04/30/2015) [-]
I love reading non-canonical Bible texts (I'm not really a devout Christian) because it's pretty much just fan fiction of the Bible. In the Gospel of Mary, Jesus and his mother have a romantic relationship. In the Gospel of Bartholomew, they visit hell and ride the devil. I'm sorry, I just love the Bible sometimes
#38 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
Not really devout Christians unite! but only on Christmas and Easter
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#14 - burningchimera (04/30/2015) [-]
As in shit that never actually happened, because Jebus was a real historical person. So you're telling me that someone from a looooong time ago decided to write fanfiction about jesus' teenage years? Amazing.
#30 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
I meant non-canonical in the religious sense, that is, not included in the Western version of the Bible.

Although some of the stuff from the first couple of centuries A.D. gets a little bit...weird. In the Infancy Narrative of Luke, the virgin Mary has a magic hymen that cannot be broken, and shrivels the hand of the midwife that touches it while getting the little baby Jesus out of that impregnable fortress. see what I did there?
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#32 - burningchimera (04/30/2015) [-]
Well don't i feel silly
#35 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
lol don't worry about it.

I took a biblical history class a few years ago, and I'm still rattling off these responses like I've been cramming for the short-answer section of my final!

In all honesty though, scriptural history is fascinating, if you're into archeology or anthropology, or just history in general.

Bonus fun fact: using references to current events in Revelation, scholars have placed the writing of that particular and trippy as balls book to somewhere within 69 A.D. The biggest hint? The temple in Jerusalem wasn't a fuck-huge pile of rubble, which it was a year later. If you're going on about the end of everything, the center of your people's spiritual life would probably make the top ten list of horrifying events. It would be the equivalent of no one mentioning that the Vatican was nuked.
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#5 - billymayss (04/30/2015) [-]
Did some research, the works you're talking about were written by someone claiming to be some else. Basically, they're all false. Sorry to be a buzz kill. I just had to figure out the truth cause I've kinda been taught Jesus never did anything wrong and well if that were true would've really rocked my world haha. (Obviously I'm christian, dont let it start a debate, you do you and i'll do me.)

Well good day to you sir.
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#8 - Cookiez (04/30/2015) [-]
"The Infancy Narrative of Matthew is one of an imperial shit-ton of non-canonical books about Jesus. "

Did you even read before you replied?
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#18 - billymayss (04/30/2015) [-]
oh shit, I did but I was a little more focused on the Jesus smiting people for revenge. Guess it just never registered lol, my bad.
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#4 - billymayss (04/30/2015) [-]
Unless you're talking about a different Jesus I don't think that one happened. Although I guess that story wouldn't be told too much in church, but I've sure never heard anything about it. Jesus was supposed to be pretty much the same throughout his entire like ya know turning the other cheek and stuff.
#27 - hillbillypowpow (04/30/2015) [-]
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#28 - billymayss (04/30/2015) [-]
Please examine the comment above, the issue has been settled.
#33 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
At any rate, it was teenage Jesus. The point of the book was to show him maturing into the savior everyone knew and loved. Or hated you know, like if you were a Roman
#11 - Picture  [+] (1 reply) 04/30/2015 on 75% off 0
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#14 - nanako (04/30/2015) [-]
that bottle of wine on his table looks straight out of skyrim
#8 - Are the multiplayer servers still running, since THQ went bell…  [+] (3 replies) 04/29/2015 on 75% off 0
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#10 - nanako (04/30/2015) [-]
of course. And pretty lively

i've not been able o get a match of dreadnought assault yet. But annihilate, exterminatus and the control point thing are lively
#11 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
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#14 - nanako (04/30/2015) [-]
that bottle of wine on his table looks straight out of skyrim
#17 - Picture 04/29/2015 on Gangster Milk 0