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zekaizer

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:1/07/2013
Last Login:5/23/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#8014
Comment Ranking:#2773
Highest Content Rank:#6401
Highest Comment Rank:#1499
Content Thumbs: 72 total,  83 ,  11
Comment Thumbs: 4519 total,  4732 ,  213
Content Level Progress: 20% (1/5)
Level 2 Content: New Here → Level 3 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 59% (59/100)
Level 235 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz → Level 236 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
Subscribers:0
Content Views:7242
Times Content Favorited:1 times
Total Comments Made:629
FJ Points:3621

latest user's comments

#33 - At any rate, it was teenage Jesus. The point of the book was t… 04/30/2015 on Jesus Christ 0
#30 - I meant non-canonical in the religious sense, that is, not inc…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/30/2015 on Jesus Christ 0
User avatar #32 - burningchimera (04/30/2015) [-]
Well don't i feel silly
#35 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
lol don't worry about it.

I took a biblical history class a few years ago, and I'm still rattling off these responses like I've been cramming for the short-answer section of my final!

In all honesty though, scriptural history is fascinating, if you're into archeology or anthropology, or just history in general.

Bonus fun fact: using references to current events in Revelation, scholars have placed the writing of that particular and trippy as balls book to somewhere within 69 A.D. The biggest hint? The temple in Jerusalem wasn't a fuck-huge pile of rubble, which it was a year later. If you're going on about the end of everything, the center of your people's spiritual life would probably make the top ten list of horrifying events. It would be the equivalent of no one mentioning that the Vatican was nuked.
#2 - The "all men must have my haircut" thing happened, s… 04/30/2015 on Admin kills 15 mods 0
#2 - Dat nut, really. 04/30/2015 on Deez nuts 0
#2 - The Infancy Narrative of Matthew is one of an imperial ***…  [+] (16 new replies) 04/30/2015 on Jesus Christ +45
User avatar #39 - stupro (04/30/2015) [-]
Sounds like Star Wars fanfiction.
#41 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
Only if you capitalize "imperial."
User avatar #42 - stupro (04/30/2015) [-]
Only if i capitalize your Mom!

sorry
User avatar #36 - superflyingcookie (04/30/2015) [-]
I love reading non-canonical Bible texts (I'm not really a devout Christian) because it's pretty much just fan fiction of the Bible. In the Gospel of Mary, Jesus and his mother have a romantic relationship. In the Gospel of Bartholomew, they visit hell and ride the devil. I'm sorry, I just love the Bible sometimes
#38 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
Not really devout Christians unite! but only on Christmas and Easter
User avatar #14 - burningchimera (04/30/2015) [-]
"Non-canonical"
As in shit that never actually happened, because Jebus was a real historical person. So you're telling me that someone from a looooong time ago decided to write fanfiction about jesus' teenage years? Amazing.
#30 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
I meant non-canonical in the religious sense, that is, not included in the Western version of the Bible.

Although some of the stuff from the first couple of centuries A.D. gets a little bit...weird. In the Infancy Narrative of Luke, the virgin Mary has a magic hymen that cannot be broken, and shrivels the hand of the midwife that touches it while getting the little baby Jesus out of that impregnable fortress. see what I did there?
User avatar #32 - burningchimera (04/30/2015) [-]
Well don't i feel silly
#35 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
lol don't worry about it.

I took a biblical history class a few years ago, and I'm still rattling off these responses like I've been cramming for the short-answer section of my final!

In all honesty though, scriptural history is fascinating, if you're into archeology or anthropology, or just history in general.

Bonus fun fact: using references to current events in Revelation, scholars have placed the writing of that particular and trippy as balls book to somewhere within 69 A.D. The biggest hint? The temple in Jerusalem wasn't a fuck-huge pile of rubble, which it was a year later. If you're going on about the end of everything, the center of your people's spiritual life would probably make the top ten list of horrifying events. It would be the equivalent of no one mentioning that the Vatican was nuked.
User avatar #5 - billymayss (04/30/2015) [-]
Did some research, the works you're talking about were written by someone claiming to be some else. Basically, they're all false. Sorry to be a buzz kill. I just had to figure out the truth cause I've kinda been taught Jesus never did anything wrong and well if that were true would've really rocked my world haha. (Obviously I'm christian, dont let it start a debate, you do you and i'll do me.)

Well good day to you sir.
User avatar #8 - Cookiez (04/30/2015) [-]
"The Infancy Narrative of Matthew is one of an imperial shit-ton of non-canonical books about Jesus. "

Did you even read before you replied?
User avatar #18 - billymayss (04/30/2015) [-]
oh shit, I did but I was a little more focused on the Jesus smiting people for revenge. Guess it just never registered lol, my bad.
User avatar #4 - billymayss (04/30/2015) [-]
Unless you're talking about a different Jesus I don't think that one happened. Although I guess that story wouldn't be told too much in church, but I've sure never heard anything about it. Jesus was supposed to be pretty much the same throughout his entire like ya know turning the other cheek and stuff.
#27 - hillbillypowpow (04/30/2015) [-]
"non-canonical"
User avatar #28 - billymayss (04/30/2015) [-]
Please examine the comment above, the issue has been settled.
#33 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
At any rate, it was teenage Jesus. The point of the book was to show him maturing into the savior everyone knew and loved. Or hated you know, like if you were a Roman
#11 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 04/30/2015 on 75% off 0
User avatar #14 - nanako (04/30/2015) [-]
that bottle of wine on his table looks straight out of skyrim
#8 - Are the multiplayer servers still running, since THQ went bell…  [+] (3 new replies) 04/29/2015 on 75% off 0
User avatar #10 - nanako (04/30/2015) [-]
of course. And pretty lively

i've not been able o get a match of dreadnought assault yet. But annihilate, exterminatus and the control point thing are lively
#11 - zekaizer (04/30/2015) [-]
User avatar #14 - nanako (04/30/2015) [-]
that bottle of wine on his table looks straight out of skyrim
#17 - Picture 04/29/2015 on Gangster Milk 0
#29 - "Don't worry, I'm fine." 04/29/2015 on tables have turned +5
#146 - Comment deleted 04/29/2015 on YOUR FACTS ARE RACIST MAN 0
#7 - Comment deleted 04/29/2015 on man logs into tumblr +3
#17 - Picture 04/29/2015 on Pokemon Red Team? 0
#6 - I thought I recognized the name. It's the crazy &quo… 04/28/2015 on Pretty valid list +2
#16 - I guess she had a pretty voice...? 04/28/2015 on Sexual Objectification by... +2
#8 - It's worth it. 04/28/2015 on Blind +3
#5 - But can it really be considered living? It is South Dakota, after all. 04/28/2015 on Mars +1
#5 - The "dazed look" is commonly referred to as "a …  [+] (1 new reply) 04/28/2015 on Chimpout 2015 +117
#23 - anonymous (04/29/2015) [-]
No no, didnt you read? It was a politic- er... sudden realization!
#6 - It has very well developed characters and amazing parkour and …  [+] (2 new replies) 04/28/2015 on Blind +6
User avatar #7 - bendingtimeisgood (04/28/2015) [-]
Sounds great. Gonna spend the next couple days cut off from the world, watching Daredevil.
#8 - zekaizer (04/28/2015) [-]
It's worth it.
#19 - "And then it got worse." 04/28/2015 on nope +5
#9 - >not beer >"beer" 04/28/2015 on My kind of beer +2
#6 - The return of the tacticool skinhead... 04/28/2015 on Get rekt comp 1 0
#5 - That's a good recipe for an indictment.  [+] (1 new reply) 04/27/2015 on saving it for the right moment +2
User avatar #6 - flugeljester (04/27/2015) [-]
That's good tho
#10 - Meanwhile, back when Aaron Carter was relevant... 04/22/2015 on Leaked Marvel's Civil War... +2
#42 - Wedding cake makers usually meet with the people getting marri… 04/22/2015 on 'Murican Logic! 0
#3 - I always thought it was funny when they reversed roles wheneve… 04/22/2015 on X-files +24

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Total unique items point value: 550 / Total items point value: 650
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#1 - isolovegames ONLINE (03/26/2015) [-]
May Luck and Protection ever be in your favor, Zekaizer.
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