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zaperzero    

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zaperzero Avatar Level 220 Comments: Mind Blower
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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:12/22/2010
Last Login:8/29/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#10385
Comment Ranking:#1979
Highest Content Rank:#4172
Highest Comment Rank:#2063
Content Thumbs: 484 total,  948 ,  464
Comment Thumbs: 2340 total,  4769 ,  2429
Content Level Progress: 40% (4/10)
Level 39 Content: Peasant → Level 40 Content: Sammich eater
Comment Level Progress: 60% (60/100)
Level 220 Comments: Mind Blower → Level 221 Comments: Mind Blower
Subscribers:1
Content Views:73570
Times Content Favorited:36 times
Total Comments Made:2649
FJ Points:2520
Favorite Tags: dark souls (2) | fuck (2)

latest user's comments

#169 - Picture 08/13/2014 on Dance party for Admins new... +1
#45 - Metal =/= Edgy I'm sorry, but you're just wrong here. 08/13/2014 on And so it shall be done +1
#26 - Well, I personally wouldn't mind that being how I go out and I… 08/13/2014 on And so it shall be done 0
#23 - Who?  [+] (2 new replies) 08/13/2014 on And so it shall be done 0
User avatar #25 - fjaggot (08/13/2014) [-]
I don't know exactly but I'm pretty sure it wasn't written by an actual viking
User avatar #26 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
Well, I personally wouldn't mind that being how I go out and I don't consider myself a pompous hipster douche.
#14 - I thought it was more metal or brutal than anything.  [+] (2 new replies) 08/13/2014 on And so it shall be done +4
#38 - anonymous (08/13/2014) [-]
Which is what is on the other side of the border from edgy.
User avatar #45 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
Metal =/= Edgy
I'm sorry, but you're just wrong here.
#3 - Comment deleted 08/13/2014 on ppl +6
#5 - ChaoticMonki (Cry) a youtuber. Found out about him … 08/13/2014 on Corpse Party +1
#2 - It's not really all that edgy....  [+] (8 new replies) 08/13/2014 on And so it shall be done +97
User avatar #21 - fjaggot (08/13/2014) [-]
consider the fact that it was written by some fucking hipster dude
User avatar #23 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
Who?
User avatar #25 - fjaggot (08/13/2014) [-]
I don't know exactly but I'm pretty sure it wasn't written by an actual viking
User avatar #26 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
Well, I personally wouldn't mind that being how I go out and I don't consider myself a pompous hipster douche.
#13 - anonymous (08/13/2014) [-]
It really is that fucking edgy though
User avatar #14 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
I thought it was more metal or brutal than anything.
#38 - anonymous (08/13/2014) [-]
Which is what is on the other side of the border from edgy.
User avatar #45 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
Metal =/= Edgy
I'm sorry, but you're just wrong here.
#66 - Well I'm not claiming it's a 100% fullproof strategy, simply t…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/13/2014 on Drunk logic 0
User avatar #123 - cumbersome (08/13/2014) [-]
It can't though, not if they have a reason to do it. If you deny, it will be suspicious, and the alcohol would show up if they did it.
#10 - Oops, you're right, that one wasn't a conflict. I always forg… 08/13/2014 on Mega Altaria will be bad ass 0
#8 - And this is only the ones that I give a single **** …  [+] (2 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Mega Altaria will be bad ass 0
#9 - anonymous (08/13/2014) [-]
Bayleef?
User avatar #10 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
Oops, you're right, that one wasn't a conflict. I always forget that Bayleef isn't a poison type too.
#52 - As mentioned before, a drunk and stabbed person isn't in the c… 08/13/2014 on Drunk logic 0
#11 - And he's a cyborg. He can have a cyborg DICK. Bro, no need t… 08/13/2014 on   +3
#49 - "More danger driving drunk than staying there." …  [+] (2 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Drunk logic -1
User avatar #50 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
Yes, because instead of just you dying, you are putting yourself and other people at risk.

This is the way the law works.

If you go "Oh yes Officer, I was driving drunk but I was about to stop-"
"DON'T CARE. YOU DROVE DRUNK"
"Yes Officer, but I was about to stop"
"DOESN'T MATTER"

By driving, you not only put yourself in danger, but any pedestrians or other motorists.

"Yes your Honour, I was driving drunk, but I was pulling over as the officers noticed me"
"You ran over a pedestrian"
"But sir, I had been stabbed and wasn't able to control the motor vehicle"
"So you admit that you couldn't control the car you were driving? Why didn't you get someone else to drive you"
"They were trying to stab me"
"So you drove drunk and ran someone over?"
User avatar #52 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
As mentioned before, a drunk and stabbed person isn't in the clearest of minds. No one died and that is a good thing. he didn't hit the cop car bad enough to leave huge dents, this means he was driving at a relatively slow speed. Therefore he was making it so he has a relatively low chance of a cataclysmic crash and instead would only (at worst) have a fender bender.
You can get off with relatively minor punishments if you are able to give being shanked by assailants attempting to murder you, driving with the best safety possible given the situation, and attempting to pull over so you can avoid any further endangerment of others.
"Your honour, I was driving drunk away from multiple attackers attempting to MURDER me. This isn't like they wanted to scrape my elbow for pissing them off, this was outright murderers trying to kill me. I took that bad situation and made the best of it I could. I drove slowly and calmly, attempting my best to leave the situation as to avoid any casualties if possible, and attempted to come to a safe parking space to call the police as soon as possible. You can see in the fact that there was no serious damage to either car that I was taking all possible precautions to keep from injuring any persons."
Also, running someone over is grounds for getting out to see if they're alright, not driving off drunk. If you're drunk enough to hit someone you're clearly too drunk to drive to the police office.
#30 - To exaggerate to the degree shown in his thick lips is to port… 08/13/2014 on Just Bugs being racist 0
#47 - "When i was stabbed my friends ran and drove off and they… 08/13/2014 on Drunk logic 0
#46 - Well your brother wasn't exactly stabbed and being assaulted b…  [+] (4 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Drunk logic -1
User avatar #48 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
It doesn't matter, it's not a defense.

They would still knock it down because you caused more danger driving drunk than by staying there.
User avatar #49 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
"More danger driving drunk than staying there."
"But there were multiple people attempting to murder me."
"Driving drunk is more dangerous to you than murderers present. Driving drunk for any amount of time. We don't care if you were on your way to park and call the police, you should have let yourself get shanked to death sir."
User avatar #50 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
Yes, because instead of just you dying, you are putting yourself and other people at risk.

This is the way the law works.

If you go "Oh yes Officer, I was driving drunk but I was about to stop-"
"DON'T CARE. YOU DROVE DRUNK"
"Yes Officer, but I was about to stop"
"DOESN'T MATTER"

By driving, you not only put yourself in danger, but any pedestrians or other motorists.

"Yes your Honour, I was driving drunk, but I was pulling over as the officers noticed me"
"You ran over a pedestrian"
"But sir, I had been stabbed and wasn't able to control the motor vehicle"
"So you admit that you couldn't control the car you were driving? Why didn't you get someone else to drive you"
"They were trying to stab me"
"So you drove drunk and ran someone over?"
User avatar #52 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
As mentioned before, a drunk and stabbed person isn't in the clearest of minds. No one died and that is a good thing. he didn't hit the cop car bad enough to leave huge dents, this means he was driving at a relatively slow speed. Therefore he was making it so he has a relatively low chance of a cataclysmic crash and instead would only (at worst) have a fender bender.
You can get off with relatively minor punishments if you are able to give being shanked by assailants attempting to murder you, driving with the best safety possible given the situation, and attempting to pull over so you can avoid any further endangerment of others.
"Your honour, I was driving drunk away from multiple attackers attempting to MURDER me. This isn't like they wanted to scrape my elbow for pissing them off, this was outright murderers trying to kill me. I took that bad situation and made the best of it I could. I drove slowly and calmly, attempting my best to leave the situation as to avoid any casualties if possible, and attempted to come to a safe parking space to call the police as soon as possible. You can see in the fact that there was no serious damage to either car that I was taking all possible precautions to keep from injuring any persons."
Also, running someone over is grounds for getting out to see if they're alright, not driving off drunk. If you're drunk enough to hit someone you're clearly too drunk to drive to the police office.
#43 - People who are drunk and have been stabbed aren't of the most …  [+] (6 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Drunk logic -1
User avatar #44 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
Doesn't matter, he would still be charged and lose his license.

My brother was drunk, a dude picked a fight. My brother went to his car, got in and left, buddy jumped in front and my brother thought he got run over, in reality he just fell to the outside of the passenger front tire, out of my brother's view and rolled into the middle of the street afterwards, making it look like he got hit.

My brother drove to the police station, explained what happened, and he still got his license taken away for driving while impaired.
User avatar #46 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
Well your brother wasn't exactly stabbed and being assaulted by multiple attackers in a situation he had to flee from was he? That's a scenario in which you don't want to be in place still. He can claim he was driving away from the scene and trying to find a good place to park to call the cops. "It's bad enough I had to drive drunk and while stabbed, imagine if I was in a call at the same time. Risks would be so high of me crashing."
User avatar #48 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
It doesn't matter, it's not a defense.

They would still knock it down because you caused more danger driving drunk than by staying there.
User avatar #49 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
"More danger driving drunk than staying there."
"But there were multiple people attempting to murder me."
"Driving drunk is more dangerous to you than murderers present. Driving drunk for any amount of time. We don't care if you were on your way to park and call the police, you should have let yourself get shanked to death sir."
User avatar #50 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
Yes, because instead of just you dying, you are putting yourself and other people at risk.

This is the way the law works.

If you go "Oh yes Officer, I was driving drunk but I was about to stop-"
"DON'T CARE. YOU DROVE DRUNK"
"Yes Officer, but I was about to stop"
"DOESN'T MATTER"

By driving, you not only put yourself in danger, but any pedestrians or other motorists.

"Yes your Honour, I was driving drunk, but I was pulling over as the officers noticed me"
"You ran over a pedestrian"
"But sir, I had been stabbed and wasn't able to control the motor vehicle"
"So you admit that you couldn't control the car you were driving? Why didn't you get someone else to drive you"
"They were trying to stab me"
"So you drove drunk and ran someone over?"
User avatar #52 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
As mentioned before, a drunk and stabbed person isn't in the clearest of minds. No one died and that is a good thing. he didn't hit the cop car bad enough to leave huge dents, this means he was driving at a relatively slow speed. Therefore he was making it so he has a relatively low chance of a cataclysmic crash and instead would only (at worst) have a fender bender.
You can get off with relatively minor punishments if you are able to give being shanked by assailants attempting to murder you, driving with the best safety possible given the situation, and attempting to pull over so you can avoid any further endangerment of others.
"Your honour, I was driving drunk away from multiple attackers attempting to MURDER me. This isn't like they wanted to scrape my elbow for pissing them off, this was outright murderers trying to kill me. I took that bad situation and made the best of it I could. I drove slowly and calmly, attempting my best to leave the situation as to avoid any casualties if possible, and attempted to come to a safe parking space to call the police as soon as possible. You can see in the fact that there was no serious damage to either car that I was taking all possible precautions to keep from injuring any persons."
Also, running someone over is grounds for getting out to see if they're alright, not driving off drunk. If you're drunk enough to hit someone you're clearly too drunk to drive to the police office.
#42 - True they'd test for it, but that's not what I'm calling out h…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Drunk logic 0
#45 - apolloeighteen (08/13/2014) [-]
The issue here is that its illegal regardless of if he's out of it or not. Someone can drive him, whether it be a friend, bartender, 911, etc. Regardless, its not a very good situation for him to be in xD
User avatar #47 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
"When i was stabbed my friends ran and drove off and they started chasing me and trying to attack me, all of these guys. So I got in my car and tried to book it out of there. I was actually heading to find somewhere to park after having lost them so I could stop my car and call the cops. I figured I couldn't call while in the car. Driving while drunk and bleeding out was bad enough as it was."
#35 - Test for what? It's not exactly like someone's gonna shank yo…  [+] (15 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Drunk logic +23
User avatar #65 - cumbersome (08/13/2014) [-]
no, he should say it was somewhere secluded, otherwise they will ask for the name of the bar, try to find witnesses, and probably fairly quickly find the bartender working the previous night, who can then explain that he's full of shit
User avatar #66 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
Well I'm not claiming it's a 100% fullproof strategy, simply that the blood test can be covered up.
User avatar #123 - cumbersome (08/13/2014) [-]
It can't though, not if they have a reason to do it. If you deny, it will be suspicious, and the alcohol would show up if they did it.
#39 - apolloeighteen (08/13/2014) [-]
Spit isn't something that really acts as a mode of transmission for viruses. It can lead to an infection because of that gnar ass bacteria in your mouth, though. Given that the guy was stabbed, I'd assume they're gonna do a blood panel to make sure he didn't contract anything. Within that blood panel, and given the circumstances with the cop, a blood alcohol test would be easy enough to include in the said panel. If anything, for insurance reasons they'd want to rule out/ identify a DUI.
User avatar #42 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
True they'd test for it, but that's not what I'm calling out here. It's that the fact that he's having his blood tested wouldn't really amount to a ton he can't discredit as "I was stabbed and drunk so I just got in my car cus I was all out of it and shit."
#45 - apolloeighteen (08/13/2014) [-]
The issue here is that its illegal regardless of if he's out of it or not. Someone can drive him, whether it be a friend, bartender, 911, etc. Regardless, its not a very good situation for him to be in xD
User avatar #47 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
"When i was stabbed my friends ran and drove off and they started chasing me and trying to attack me, all of these guys. So I got in my car and tried to book it out of there. I was actually heading to find somewhere to park after having lost them so I could stop my car and call the cops. I figured I couldn't call while in the car. Driving while drunk and bleeding out was bad enough as it was."
User avatar #37 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
Not a valid excuse.

I was told that when I asked "If there was an emergency, could I drive to the hospital" even though I couldn't drive without a licensed driver in the passenger seat, and they said no. If it's enough of an emergency that I have to flee, then it's enough of an emergency that I could call 911.

Kind of stupid, but it's the rule.
User avatar #43 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
People who are drunk and have been stabbed aren't of the most sound mind. He may have left his phone in his car and just happened to need to get out of the situation. He can claim he was being assaulted and had to get out of there and just happened to have run into the cops while doing so.
User avatar #44 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
Doesn't matter, he would still be charged and lose his license.

My brother was drunk, a dude picked a fight. My brother went to his car, got in and left, buddy jumped in front and my brother thought he got run over, in reality he just fell to the outside of the passenger front tire, out of my brother's view and rolled into the middle of the street afterwards, making it look like he got hit.

My brother drove to the police station, explained what happened, and he still got his license taken away for driving while impaired.
User avatar #46 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
Well your brother wasn't exactly stabbed and being assaulted by multiple attackers in a situation he had to flee from was he? That's a scenario in which you don't want to be in place still. He can claim he was driving away from the scene and trying to find a good place to park to call the cops. "It's bad enough I had to drive drunk and while stabbed, imagine if I was in a call at the same time. Risks would be so high of me crashing."
User avatar #48 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
It doesn't matter, it's not a defense.

They would still knock it down because you caused more danger driving drunk than by staying there.
User avatar #49 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
"More danger driving drunk than staying there."
"But there were multiple people attempting to murder me."
"Driving drunk is more dangerous to you than murderers present. Driving drunk for any amount of time. We don't care if you were on your way to park and call the police, you should have let yourself get shanked to death sir."
User avatar #50 - Crusader (08/13/2014) [-]
Yes, because instead of just you dying, you are putting yourself and other people at risk.

This is the way the law works.

If you go "Oh yes Officer, I was driving drunk but I was about to stop-"
"DON'T CARE. YOU DROVE DRUNK"
"Yes Officer, but I was about to stop"
"DOESN'T MATTER"

By driving, you not only put yourself in danger, but any pedestrians or other motorists.

"Yes your Honour, I was driving drunk, but I was pulling over as the officers noticed me"
"You ran over a pedestrian"
"But sir, I had been stabbed and wasn't able to control the motor vehicle"
"So you admit that you couldn't control the car you were driving? Why didn't you get someone else to drive you"
"They were trying to stab me"
"So you drove drunk and ran someone over?"
User avatar #52 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
As mentioned before, a drunk and stabbed person isn't in the clearest of minds. No one died and that is a good thing. he didn't hit the cop car bad enough to leave huge dents, this means he was driving at a relatively slow speed. Therefore he was making it so he has a relatively low chance of a cataclysmic crash and instead would only (at worst) have a fender bender.
You can get off with relatively minor punishments if you are able to give being shanked by assailants attempting to murder you, driving with the best safety possible given the situation, and attempting to pull over so you can avoid any further endangerment of others.
"Your honour, I was driving drunk away from multiple attackers attempting to MURDER me. This isn't like they wanted to scrape my elbow for pissing them off, this was outright murderers trying to kill me. I took that bad situation and made the best of it I could. I drove slowly and calmly, attempting my best to leave the situation as to avoid any casualties if possible, and attempted to come to a safe parking space to call the police as soon as possible. You can see in the fact that there was no serious damage to either car that I was taking all possible precautions to keep from injuring any persons."
Also, running someone over is grounds for getting out to see if they're alright, not driving off drunk. If you're drunk enough to hit someone you're clearly too drunk to drive to the police office.
#15 - The accent Bugs has is the only really offensive thing. That …  [+] (2 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Just Bugs being racist -1
#26 - anonymous (08/13/2014) [-]
His accent which was accurate to the time frame, and even used by black people in movies about slavery you mean? But that can't be racist since they are black and he is a bunny huh? Black people often have bigger lips and protruded jaws. That is a fact found to their bones. It isn't racist to mention something factual or draw something factual. "That man is black" isn't racist. Hell saying he is black is a descriptive term. Saying he is "African american" to me is racist because it separates them as a people from normal Americans, and it is also inaccurate since they don't have dual citizenship. That is just my opinion though.
User avatar #30 - zaperzero (08/13/2014) [-]
To exaggerate to the degree shown in his thick lips is to portray it as a stereotype of black people rather than just "Thicker than normal lips and protruded jaw." It was more like 50% of his face is lips. The accent is accurate of the time, I will give you that. I hadn't really considered it.
#23 - I would like to congradulate them as well, but I can't find th… 08/12/2014 on When you find out that hot... 0
#48 - But they aren't able to communicate so both will attempt to ri…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/12/2014 on (untitled) 0
#49 - culedood (08/13/2014) [-]
The probability that both turtles would stick out both their legs at the exact same time is so low that it might as well be negligible. However, if you are still not satisfied, tape them slightly lopsided, so that they do not have a stable side.
#21 - Katawa Shoujo is the source of the characters in it, but it's …  [+] (2 new replies) 08/12/2014 on When you find out that hot... 0
#22 - suppercut (08/12/2014) [-]
I know who the characters were, I was just looking to congratulate the OP.
User avatar #23 - zaperzero (08/12/2014) [-]
I would like to congradulate them as well, but I can't find them. Sorry. :/
#27 - Yerp  [+] (1 new reply) 08/11/2014 on (untitled) +2
User avatar #42 - endercrew (08/11/2014) [-]
c-c-combo breaker
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User avatar #35 to #34 - zaperzero (06/21/2014) [-]
10/10, would bread again.
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