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xbyronx

Last status update:
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Gender: male
Age: 20
Date Signed Up:3/26/2011
Last Login:7/28/2016
Location:USA
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21 year old college student. Currently getting a double major in Criminal Justice and Computer science with minor studies in other areas of cyber criminal law enforcement. Currently in the process of becoming a certified ethical hacker and gaining experience in the field to work within a military/law enforcement environment. You can contact me here, or reach me elsewhere. I typically spend my time working or studying for school, free time is split up between a relationship, social life, and FJ.

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  • Views: 1301
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    Uploaded: 11/24/14
    Actual pranks. Actual pranks.

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latest user's comments

#83 - No it isn't a mainframe is sort of like a workstation PC or a … 14 hours ago on Factzz +3
#126 - Not really, I've always had sort of a high tolerance for pain. 07/08/2016 on For quickly closing a wound 0
#123 - The doctor legitimately looked at me and said "Looks like… 07/03/2016 on For quickly closing a wound +1
#122 - I agree, he is retarded. I didn't wish to have him criminally … 07/03/2016 on For quickly closing a wound 0
#113 - Now it's at about 4x5 cm and about 5cm deep. So it's healed at…  [+] (2 new replies) 07/02/2016 on For quickly closing a wound +1
User avatar
#125 - ccrusader (07/08/2016) [-]
Still hurts?
User avatar
#126 - xbyronx (07/08/2016) [-]
Not really, I've always had sort of a high tolerance for pain.
#110 - yeah that's at about 5 x 6 inches right there and it's about 6…  [+] (4 new replies) 07/02/2016 on For quickly closing a wound +1
#111 - turbanmasher (07/02/2016) [-]
Lovely, how's it coming along?
User avatar
#113 - xbyronx (07/02/2016) [-]
Now it's at about 4x5 cm and about 5cm deep. So it's healed at an astonishing rate.
User avatar
#125 - ccrusader (07/08/2016) [-]
Still hurts?
User avatar
#126 - xbyronx (07/08/2016) [-]
Not really, I've always had sort of a high tolerance for pain.
#107 - I've never seen such a terrified look on anyones face in my li…  [+] (4 new replies) 07/02/2016 on For quickly closing a wound +2
#116 - dirtydollar (07/02/2016) [-]
The one time being out of shape increased your life expectancy. Good luck with that, man. Go gamble or some shit, you are one of the luckiest, and unluckiest, guys alive.
#123 - xbyronx (07/03/2016) [-]
The doctor legitimately looked at me and said "Looks like that cheeseburger habbit of yours saved your life" and I'm not morbidly obese, I have a good muscle mass going. I'm really tall so it offsets nicely. Still not healthy though. pic related, it me. To show what I look like next to someone who is 5'9. Midget for scale.
#114 - mobilehome (07/02/2016) [-]
Damn dude my friend got shot in the stomach in Detroit but it was birdshot he died momentarily in the hospital and a few of the pellets are still there you can see with a flashlight where they are
User avatar
#109 - dremnus (07/02/2016) [-]
Damn. At least you came out alright.
#104 - copy and pasted lengthy story of how it all happened: …  [+] (2 new replies) 07/02/2016 on For quickly closing a wound +3
User avatar
#120 - doctorprofessornv (07/02/2016) [-]
>Points a weapon at someone he didn't want to shoot and pulls the trigger (ignoring the fact that the #1 rule of gun safety is 'never point a gun at anyone or anything you don't intend to shoot', he didn't even bother to check to see if it was loaded).

I'm sorry but your friend is a retard, and you are lucky to be alive.
User avatar
#122 - xbyronx (07/03/2016) [-]
I agree, he is retarded. I didn't wish to have him criminally charged, because it was a mistake, but I made him agree to never own a firearm again and he had to give that one and his other rifle up.
#102 - Picture  [+] (6 new replies) 07/02/2016 on For quickly closing a wound 0
User avatar
#105 - dremnus (07/02/2016) [-]
I bet that scared the shit out of your buddy.
User avatar
#107 - xbyronx (07/02/2016) [-]
I've never seen such a terrified look on anyones face in my life, and I was just shot, Doctors say It is a mirricle I didn't die in an ambulance, told my family not to be hopeful I'd live passed surgery, I did, then said I'd probably never walk again, I walked three days later, then said I'd never be able to maintain a normal life, and now shit's pretty normal. It was a miracle because I'm six feet 8 inches tall, and 350lbs that's the only reason I lived at all.
#116 - dirtydollar (07/02/2016) [-]
The one time being out of shape increased your life expectancy. Good luck with that, man. Go gamble or some shit, you are one of the luckiest, and unluckiest, guys alive.
#123 - xbyronx (07/03/2016) [-]
The doctor legitimately looked at me and said "Looks like that cheeseburger habbit of yours saved your life" and I'm not morbidly obese, I have a good muscle mass going. I'm really tall so it offsets nicely. Still not healthy though. pic related, it me. To show what I look like next to someone who is 5'9. Midget for scale.
#114 - mobilehome (07/02/2016) [-]
Damn dude my friend got shot in the stomach in Detroit but it was birdshot he died momentarily in the hospital and a few of the pellets are still there you can see with a flashlight where they are
User avatar
#109 - dremnus (07/02/2016) [-]
Damn. At least you came out alright.
#96 - WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGE They didn't even close my wound when I …  [+] (17 new replies) 07/02/2016 on For quickly closing a wound +5
#106 - turbanmasher (07/02/2016) [-]
I remember you.

From my limited medical knowledge you have to let deeper wounds heal from the bottom, otherwise you gets all kinds of bad shit like infections and puss.
User avatar
#110 - xbyronx (07/02/2016) [-]
yeah that's at about 5 x 6 inches right there and it's about 6 inches deep as well.
#111 - turbanmasher (07/02/2016) [-]
Lovely, how's it coming along?
User avatar
#113 - xbyronx (07/02/2016) [-]
Now it's at about 4x5 cm and about 5cm deep. So it's healed at an astonishing rate.
User avatar
#125 - ccrusader (07/08/2016) [-]
Still hurts?
User avatar
#126 - xbyronx (07/08/2016) [-]
Not really, I've always had sort of a high tolerance for pain.
User avatar
#101 - dremnus (07/02/2016) [-]
How the fuck did you get shot though?
User avatar
#104 - xbyronx (07/02/2016) [-]
copy and pasted lengthy story of how it all happened:

My friend Dakota calls me and says "Hey, remember Austin from Highschool? Well he got in a car accident, and he needs a place to stay for the night until his parents are back in town and can come get him."

So I'm like okay, whatever. How bad can it be, I mean I know he is a drug dealer, but he's a good guy, not a thief or anything. Defends himself, sells pot. Whatever. I've never done any drugs, don't have them in my home as long as he comes clean, he can stay.

Well, this is South Mississippi so he had a shotgun in his truck, so I see it when he is bringing the belongings he took from his crashed truck that was left behind in. And I'm like "Hey, sorry bud you can stay but I gotta confiscate the gun, I'm gunna put it up and hold on to it till you go, okay?" no big deal, he doesn't sweat it at all I take the gun, rack out the tube and empty it so there is no shells in it. I then place it under my bed.



Well, I got to thinking, you know, I know this kid, but I don't like know KNOW him. So I take and put a single shell of 12 gauge buckshot in the tube of the gun incase I NEED to use it NOTE: it is not loaded and still requires a double action of pumping and trigger pull to fire. So I don't even put the safety on because, mother fucker, what kind of idiot would pick up a shot gun and load it, aye?



Well, I work from home, and no one is in my office / bedroom so it's totally safe. At this point I figure I'll trade the last hour of my shift to a coworker in exchange for their entire friday shift, nbd I needed the extra hours that day as I was free anyways.

So que me calling Austin (the shooter) in my bedroom, I say "Hey bro, come here for a moment!" he comes in and sits on my bed as my back is turned facing the computer, and I am talking to him, back turned, and I say, listen let me call your grandma, I think your a bit to inebriated to speak to her, I don't want her crying in shit, I'll arrange you pickup in the morning." So I call his grandma, and Austin chills back whilst I speak to her for fifteen minutes.... then *click* *BANG* i fall backwords out of my office chair


at this point, I can't hear anything, I can't feel ANYTHING, I've just taken a powerful round of 12 gauge Buckshot fired from four feet way 1cm right of my spine. So finally things settle and I hear austin scream "WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU LOAD THE GUN OH MY GOD" so I get up, and look at him and I say "Did you just fucking shoot me? Help me find my shoes, I have to get out of this house or I'll die." and I look for my shoes a moment, can't find them then he says "You have to call 911 I don't know the address" so I start calling 911, the operater is pretty rude, so I tell them what happened, confirmed police and ambulance are in route and hang up. So at this point I tell Austin and my other room mate to GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE and to flee the scene, because they are panicking and my mind thinks they will look guilty and be arrested for murder if I die.

So I am barefoot, and just leave on foot and walk about a quarter mile up the road, find some nice people, I instruct them to get a clean rag from inside their home and hold pressure on the wound until the ambulance comes, and not to let up, and then I lie down in the road in the recovery position as I wait. I'm laughing and got everyone cracking up the whole time. I'm totally calm and responsive (adrenaline is amazing) the ambulance comes, they take me up the rode to a helicopter, load me up, I get surgery. And they don't close the wound now I have a hole in my back that you can fit a fist in and a pump on it 24/7 pumping fluids out of it. I'm going to be okay, and I went back to work (working from my hospital bed at my parents for now) yesterday. I am expected to be totally recovered by July 15th, and no organs were penetrated, and the pellets will surface on their own soon.
User avatar
#120 - doctorprofessornv (07/02/2016) [-]
>Points a weapon at someone he didn't want to shoot and pulls the trigger (ignoring the fact that the #1 rule of gun safety is 'never point a gun at anyone or anything you don't intend to shoot', he didn't even bother to check to see if it was loaded).

I'm sorry but your friend is a retard, and you are lucky to be alive.
User avatar
#122 - xbyronx (07/03/2016) [-]
I agree, he is retarded. I didn't wish to have him criminally charged, because it was a mistake, but I made him agree to never own a firearm again and he had to give that one and his other rifle up.
User avatar
#105 - dremnus (07/02/2016) [-]
I bet that scared the shit out of your buddy.
User avatar
#107 - xbyronx (07/02/2016) [-]
I've never seen such a terrified look on anyones face in my life, and I was just shot, Doctors say It is a mirricle I didn't die in an ambulance, told my family not to be hopeful I'd live passed surgery, I did, then said I'd probably never walk again, I walked three days later, then said I'd never be able to maintain a normal life, and now shit's pretty normal. It was a miracle because I'm six feet 8 inches tall, and 350lbs that's the only reason I lived at all.
#116 - dirtydollar (07/02/2016) [-]
The one time being out of shape increased your life expectancy. Good luck with that, man. Go gamble or some shit, you are one of the luckiest, and unluckiest, guys alive.
#123 - xbyronx (07/03/2016) [-]
The doctor legitimately looked at me and said "Looks like that cheeseburger habbit of yours saved your life" and I'm not morbidly obese, I have a good muscle mass going. I'm really tall so it offsets nicely. Still not healthy though. pic related, it me. To show what I look like next to someone who is 5'9. Midget for scale.
#114 - mobilehome (07/02/2016) [-]
Damn dude my friend got shot in the stomach in Detroit but it was birdshot he died momentarily in the hospital and a few of the pellets are still there you can see with a flashlight where they are
User avatar
#109 - dremnus (07/02/2016) [-]
Damn. At least you came out alright.

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