My mom died January 2008,

I got shoved into the foster care system and had the worst time growing up ever. I got into drugs and stealing. I tried to commit suicide several times and developed an eating disorder and cutting addiction. I went in and out of treatment centers and group homes. Group homes are like foster homes for the kids no one wants to adopt. As hard as I tried I was never good enough for these group homes. I have behavioral issues, I don't want to be bad, but I get so upset, It's hard to be good. I grew up without a father, because when I was little he molested me and my 3 brothers, and that was really hard. When my mother died I contacted him and went to spend a weekend at his parents house, at which time he snuck into the bedroom with me while I was sleeping and touched my body. I never told anyone because I was really scared, and didn't want to lose the only person I had, even if he was a dirt ball. After that weekend my father decided he still wasn't ready to be a father and didn't call or return any messages. I struggle every day, and It's so hard. Last year my life started to turn around. I met a boy and fell in love and got pregnant, It was an accident but we had everything worked out, we both had jobs and enough money to support a baby. Soon after I became pregnant He turned 21 and started drinking... a lot. One night I confronted him and asked him to stop drinking- I guess I should have been nicer than calling him an alcoholic asshole, but anyway he beat the living shit out of me and I had a miscarriage three days later. After I miscarried he told me he couldn't be with me, and that it was my fault because I had smoked a few cigarettes that week (I had quit when I found out I was pregnant but I smoked 3 that week) After that, I became homeless living on the literal streets- and In a homeless shelter for one month. Right now I'm staying with one of my brothers, but I don't know how long that will last. they resent me for what my dad did.

Because of all the shit that ive been through of course I have depression, and sometimes it gets really tough, and I know it sounds like total b.s but It makes me happy when I come here and see funny posts or hear about your guys' problems or achievements. I was pretty close to just giving up and taking my life a few weeks ago and there was a post, a video about a girl who's mother committed suicide and I truly believe if it had not been for that post I wouldn't be here. I seriously love you guys- I don't know why because a lot of the time you are all assholes, I've cried many times over something one of you have said to me. But in the end I get so much more.

Go on www . givesmehope . com (remove spaces obviously). Absolutely beautiful website, you just can't help but smile when you're on there. You sound great, and you definitely don't deserve what's happened. I hope you meet a guy who actually isn't an arse, until then enjoy your life! :)

Oh, and by the way: I hope you thanked the guy who posted the video a few weeks ago ;) I'm sure it'd brighten his week to hear what he's done.

Logged in just to thumb

Gave me a huge feel. no matter what, never give up girl. everything will always get better

Proving that no matter how bad you think you have it, there's always someone out there who has it much worse. I feel for you and hope that everything turns around in the near future.

have this hug, you're such a strong person. you deserve it :)

ah....... you made me feel bro, I know what you mean though, FJ has a way of saving the most depressed :)

Here have my smille, I don´t mind to share it with you =)

if i could i would buy a round for you all! bros

Could find video where he's exclusively pitted against Clanlord yet though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJwfHfqT2jE

Bit slow in the beginning

Xan Kicks anyone´s ass

Could find video where he's exclusively pitted against Clanlord yet though.

They didn't do all too bad on him.

Watched a youtube video that pitted Xan with Malcolm, Xan was beating Malcom 7-0 :P

can you give me a link please?
Now i whanna see it ^^,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJwfHfqT2jE

Bit slow in the beginning

Xan Kicks anyone´s ass

Could find video where he's exclusively pitted against Clanlord yet though.

From UT3? :D

yeah, it´s that fan mod i talked about (the unofficialy import)

They didn't do all too bad on him.

Watched a youtube video that pitted Xan with Malcolm, Xan was beating Malcom 7-0 :P

can you give me a link please?
Now i whanna see it ^^,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJwfHfqT2jE

Bit slow in the beginning

Xan Kicks anyone´s ass

Could find video where he's exclusively pitted against Clanlord yet though.

Neat, but where did it come from?

i edited it from here =D

From UT3? :D

yeah, it´s that fan mod i talked about (the unofficialy import)

They didn't do all too bad on him.

Watched a youtube video that pitted Xan with Malcolm, Xan was beating Malcom 7-0 :P

can you give me a link please?
Now i whanna see it ^^,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJwfHfqT2jE

Bit slow in the beginning

Xan Kicks anyone´s ass

Could find video where he's exclusively pitted against Clanlord yet though.

thumbed you anyway

It totally would.