Whoop ass! Learning how to play chess is easy. Winning, not so much.

I can't remember the last time I won a game. It sucks. :|

The problem with Chess is the better you are at it the less fun it gets to play. Chess is the sort of game where there really are only a few optimal strategies and once you know them you either completely beat the opponents who don't know them or you are stuck against someone who does and knows how to counter them, only you already know how to counter them so it just becomes a game of trying to stop each-other from doing something you know the other person is trying to do.

Not that it isn't still fun, but the surprise of the game disappears the better you are at it, and it's the kind of game that even a little difference in skill between players will easily determine the winner in the first few turns.

I've won a game by fool's mate before and that was the most spontaneous thing I'd felt in the game for ages, because my opponent was really bad at the game.

*sigh* So I've lost the will to Chess. I prefer games that have more spontaneity to them. Even Connect 4 has more fun for me than Chess these days.

I was the quiet kid in school who everyone just assumed was super smart because i knew random facts and didn't ask questions. One day im hanging out in the library because our class got to go and eat snacks in there. There was a chess board set up and this girl was playing people and had a small crowd watching. I walked up drinking a coffee and someone filled me in on what was happening, apparently she had won five games in a row fairly quickly. Well someone goes, "Oh hey, you know how to play? You should so play next." I agree and sit down when it's my turn. I looked her in the eyes with my best poker face and slowly drank from my cup, then i very carefully set it down. "You want to be white or black?" she asks.

"Your call. When you've played for as long as i have you learn that it doesn't really matter too much." Some people see this a pretty cool, she seemed to be impressed by my Confidence™ anyways. We set up the board and she goes first, she spends a few seconds deciding and talking to me, when it's my turn i move a pawn without hesitation and continue our light banter. She seemed slightly surprised by that. We go further into the game and every turn i take i make within a second and proceed to discuss the art of tactile warfare. I'm losing but the entire time i'm talking a big game and she's having a hard time ending the game quickly. After like, 5 minutes of playing she eventually wins and says something like, "Huh, i guess that wasn't your game. Did you just go easy on me or what?" There was a slight bit of playfulness in her voice as she asked that. I smile a bit and drink my coffee, then i stand up to leave, "Nah, i always lose at chess, so i was just moving pieces at random to see how long i'd last."

I prefer blackjack anyways.

No i got burned for being a witch, back then people could do that. However, as it turns out, witches are immune to being burned. Not many people knew that because all of the "witches" burned were really people (non witch people). Well, no one likes to stick around after a burning because it's gross and there really is no reason to. It was certainly lucky for me, so i just got myself dusted off and went out to change clothes. After i got some fresh ones on i went straight back to the people who burned me and i told them, "It's very rude to judge people differently just for how they lead their lives, especially when they live peaceful lives such as me. Why, all this "witch craft" is just you people getting each other's sins out in the open. Why it's shameful, for shame!" And then, it was then that everybody stood up and clapped.

>Chess is the sort of game where there really are only a few optimal strategies

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_chess_openings

I'm still having fun with it, so that goes as tribute to how much I suck at it.

But a fool's mate is probably the most fun thing to do in the game, so, kudos. =p

Fool's mate is less kudos to the winner and more shame upon the loser. I usually open up for fool's mate when playing against less experienced players, just in case.

I remember my cousin first time playing this game
His first shot, a fucking nut shot
He didn't wanted to play anymore

Why are his testicles 8 inches apart from one another?

if they were too close it would get homo

That's a one shot kill, and it's quite a challenge to make a shot like that.

nah not in that game, you can get a shit ton of those shots of you are not a scrub.
Sniper elite 2 is a good game

would still be alive long enough to feel it tho

He would totally feel it, as he passes out from the severed arteries, and dies. Severed arteries in most cases, even today, if you don't get immediate help, you are pepsi max brah.

Lol in this guys situation, immediate help wouldn't have probably done much. Can't really tournequit that. There is something called M.A.S.T. Pants that the military created and some medics have available (rare) for bleeding in the pelvic area. You apply the pants and use an air compressor to blow them up, putting pressure on the pelvis to hopefully stop bleeding until someone can make it to surgery. Honestly? The time it takes for medics to arrive and place it, this dude is RIP. (Ex-medic)

Yeah that's rather on point to be honest. There's also the tourniquets that are already being worn that just require you to twist, but yeah even those won't do sh*t to your balls/junk suddenly exploding along with arteries. That and I doubt ww2 nazis had M.A.S.T. pants, and/or tourniquets instantly ready to go even with them panicking.

That or he just passes out from shock imediately and dies while bleeding out with his brain sending him to lala land.

I know. I'm making a joke too.