I'm sorry, love. I haven't been talking to anyone, not you in particular. Drama at home, long story

Here's me. This is a few months old, right after I cut my hair, hence the weird look on my face lol.

You are hot! I knew it! Ha, I win.

Yeah, vertigo is terrible, and I get it on a daily basis. Some days are worse than others. Today isn't too bad, though. Just super tired.

I feel really ******* bad
Makes my problems look like almost nothing.
I think there is a treatment for vertigo though,

I take motion sickness pills when it gets really bad, but usually I just have to wait it out. I've tried a lot of recommended treatments, but it just causes other problems. I'd rather just wait it out then take a bunch of pills. I smoke weed sometimes when the tinnitus gets really bad, and that helps. They made it medical legal out here, but the clinics aren't up just yet, so I am waiting for that. I had a prescription when I lived in California and my doctor said I can get a new one as soon as they're available. Other than surgery that might not work, there's nothing to do about it. I get by, so it's all good

So just smoke a ******** of weed and you're golden?

I think i've heard of Tinnitus. Isn't that just wicked amounts of ringing and buzzing?

Not a ******** , lol. And it doesn't get rid of it, just calms it down to where I don't want to kill myself to make the noise stop. Yeah, it's ringing inside the ear, but it causes other problems too. It's just a major pain in the ass.

Gawdamn.
This is why i don't like complaining about my problems.
There is always someone worse off than you.

HERE'S TO LOOKIN' FOR A CURE

I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, and I am sorry if I did. I completely understand how much getting fired and overpaying for a **** hole sucks. Believe me. I am making almost zero money and hubby's on disability, so we are barely scraping by. We got this place on the cheap because the owner is my sister's mother in law. But it is still a hole. We're moving in with some friends hopefully next month, and they're giving us that place on the cheap too, cuz I watch their kid during the week for almost no money lol. Only job I can find where they don't mind if I can't hear half the time. I am trying to get on disability, but meniere's is one of those invisible disabilities, so no one understands how bad it can get some days. Like today I am fine, but on Saturday I couldn't even get out of bed, everything was spinning so much. But when the days are good, it's awesome. I know the main triggers, so I can usually keep things in check. Like camera flashes, or any bright flash of light can knock me on my ass. First person GTAV, I can't stand being on a motorcycle, I start to get nauseous. But if I am careful, things aren't so bad!

It's ok, i just feel like i should shut the **** up bout my problems, but that's only gonna make em' worse, right? And it's not just being fired and overpaying ********* , it's also my ****** heart and digestive tract too.
IBS is essentially a neverending mild stomach ache with constant diarhhea.
As for my heart, they think the infection that nearly killed me last year may have awoken some ******** that is forcing my heart to pump less blood at a slower/quicker pace.
I wore a heart monitor for a few days last week and i haven't gotten any info back.

Your head is all completely ****** up while nearly my entire digestive system and heart is smearing it's own feces on itself.

TL;DR, we're both utterly ****** up

I understand. At least we can be ****** up together, right? Lol. I understand stomach problems, and I am sorry about your heart. Do you know what kind of infection you got? I got MRSA the year before last and that almost killed me. Had to cut a chunk of my abdomen out the size of my fist! I like to tell people it's a shark bite xD

Last year i was afflicted (love that word!) by what i call "green gunky ******** ". It just about destroyed the bottom half of my heart and i needed a little bit of surgery to remove the infected mass. Still don't know what the **** it was but it must've been summin fierce because now my heart is ***** once again.

And don't even get me started on the mental BS i'm dealing with.
According to a buddy of mine, and i quote, "I don't wanna be near you when you snap. If you snap, i'm taking Jack, Ryan, Nick and Emily as far from here as possible. I don't wanna be around when you go on a rampage.", "It's just who you are. Your personality. Your emotions and all that crap. It's just who you are."

I have gallbladder issues, so I understand stomach troubles! But they didn't tell you what the green gunky **** was after they took it out?

All they told me was that there was an infection that cause pus and dead blood cells to clot and congeal in the bottom left ventricle. This caused wicked ******* pains and strain on pumping blood.

Yikes. That just sounds unpleasant on all levels. At least they got rid of it! Are they going to have to go back in, or are you waiting to find out?

I dealt with lots of physiotherapy, breathing training, and 4 weeks of lying in bed with nothing but FJ to do.

I don't wanna go through that again. So i will see if they HAVE to go back in to see what's up

I can understand that. Bed rest is terrible. After my surgery, I was stuck in bed for almost a month, then they put me on bed rest again when I was pregnant and after the miscarriage as well. Blech.

How are you, love?

Well enough. You?

My books on pre-order on Amazon, so that's awesome. Just watching hubby play Destiny and browsing.

Oh nice. What books?

Just one book, sorry. The apostrophe key on my laptop is finicky on its best day. It's a sci-fi fantasy book. I can grab you the link if you're interested in checking it out

sounds like my kind of book

I don't know if you're in the US, but here is the US amazon link. It's more aimed at teenagers, just so you know. Started writing it when I first found out what Twilight was. I decided I could write something better than that, so I did. It ended up getting scrapped and rewritten a few times, but its moving now. www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00O0H7MYQ/ref=oh_aui_d_

Wait so YOU'RE the author? You're an author?

Oh wait, I thought that was clear! Sorry! Yes, it is my book

Thats awesome.

Thanks, sweetie.

I love boobs

Thanks sweetie!

HI! How are you?

tired of stuffs, yew?

Just tired, lol. Didn't get any sleep last night, had to be up early this morning, and still not in bed. Headed that way now, though

kk night night <3

Well he is a damn sexy ************ . Come over and let me borrow your 3DS! I'll make food...

Hehe

What kind of food?

I made homemade salmon cakes and homemade mac and cheese for dinner. Will that do?

Sounds good.

Im actually starving. I hadn't eaten in 24 hours, then I went to sleep, and now I'm awake another 8 hours later of still not eating.

You need to eat. That's not good for you. I have blood sugar issues, so I have to eat every 4 hours or I get dizzy and pass out. Helluva time with it in school. So is the game good? I've heard lots of good and bad, so I am kind of on the fence about it.

Its great. The movements a bit clunky and the super training is impossible if you're left handed.

But other than that its amazing.

I am predominantly left handed, but I can go both ways -winkwink- lol.

I may look into it when I get paid, but I really need to replace the xbox. Starting to crap out.

Sorry to hear about the xbox.

I can go both ways for most everything, but writing, drawing, or using any pen like utensil such as the stylus, that requires my left hand.

So the mega training requires right handed controls? Can't you change it in options or something?

In the super training **** you have to use the joystick AND the touchscreen at the same time.

Which you can't do both as a lefty.

Oh lame sauce. That makes me sad. And also sounds exceptionally complicated on an emulator. But I guess no one is working on an emu for the 3ds...

Yeah I don't think DS emulators were ever practical things.

I played like Black and White fine on the emu. I didn't care for the B&W games though. Way too much talking

Yeah Black and white went for a good story, which they provided but,, at what cost

I like that they were giving it a story, but it felt overdone to me. Like they were trying way too hard

Do you know how to do a system restore? If not, I would say "find" a OS install disc and start from scratch. Windows 7 will save any old files that are left on the computer when you reinstall the OS, so you don't have the worry of losing any important data, but it will fix the problems you're having with the deleted program files.

I tried a system restore multiple times but it scans and restores.......and then nothing changes.
I've restored every file i could. And my computer has been the same.
Quite question.
And this is borderline computer illiterate duck, but is there a way i can get more memory or whatever it is?

More ram or more hard drive space?

No clue.
I just want to have like, 30 more gigs of space left to **** with.

You're talking hard drive space. i have never done a hard drive swap on a laptop, so i dont really know what is involved with that? I am mainly software and some hardware on the desktops. ive never opened a laptop up.

Alright then.
How do i get more hard drive space?
My goal is to basically ********* my laptop. Install/get and play 4 games on steam, get Chrome's youtube to play videos, get adblock to start working again, somehow get my frames in minecraft to increase from 5-8 FPS to at least 18-20 frames per second and lastly, end world hunger.
Can you help me with any of those?

Not from here, sorry. That's a I need to be able to physically touch it kind of thing.

And with my luck you are probably on the other side of the ******* planet

Maryland. I mean if you wanted to ship it, I could do everything but the hard drive and send it back. but from the sounds of it there is nothign i could do without it in my hands. what you need is a complete wipe and reinstall. i have the discs here, not that it does you much good in canada

Maryland?
Not as far as i thought.
I do use this regularly and i am paranoid as a ************ when it comes to mailing this type of thing.
Any way i could do this from where i am?
Like what specific disks do i need in order to ****** my laptop?

You need either a cracked version of Windows, or a windows install disk and a key code, but those are hard to come by. Believe me, I tried. When I got my desktop, it was completely destroyed (belonged to a senior citizen, so you can imagine!) but I was able to find a disk that didn't require a code. If you want, I can try and make you a copy and mail it to you? Unless you have a friend that can get their hands on it, or you know how to torrent.

Im gonna try and get a friend to see if he has a disc that can get me a legitimate copy of windows.
If that fails, ill let you know, alright?

Sounds like a plan, hun. Sorry I couldn't be more help!

Quite the contrary!
You were more help than anyone i've talked to about my ******** computer

Hey I texted you. never heard back. What's up?

Bye!

Hey you! Text me if you can

My phone is still a tad messed up. Whats up?

Not much. Still trying to get over this infection, but I walked 2 miles the other day, so that is the furthest I have been able to go since this whole thing started, so yay! How are you?

Dare I ask what kind of infection?

MRSA. Terrible **** , honestly. Way worse than they led me to believe. They have to use like the strongest antibiotic evah, which totally stomps your immune system, and mine wasn't great to begin with, so its taken me a long time to get over it. But, I'm alive, even though I probably shouldn't be, lol. Almost died during the surgery they did to remove the infected tissue. But I am getting better, so I guess that's the important part, right? How are things with you? School started yet?

Jesus that sounds awful. Yeah it did, but I went back into home schooling..

Oh well that's good, I was worried about you. Glad to hear you're feeling better. How are things otherwise?

Whole lot of **** with my dad. And some other stuff.

You wanna talk about it?

Eh... Not really... Yet.

Sorry..

No worries, thought I would ask. Is school going well?

I went to the highschool for two weeks and it was terrible...

High school is terrible, especially if you aren't used to it.

But I made a friend there, and she was unhappy too. So we both went back into my old homeschooling program called hope academy.

She's nervous.

I plan to home school my children. Public schools are terrible and I can't afford private school, unless they're smart enough to scholarship in like I did in high school.

Hopefully by that time hope academy will have become more widespread.

It started out in my town four years ago, and over time they've been spreading across california. There are 5 locations now.

They plan on getting like 5 more by the next year.

We have k12 out here, plus in the small towns like ours, parents can homeschool their children by choice, and the state will give you everything you need. My mother home-schooled my younger siblings (against everyone's better judgement. I love her to death, but she's not exactly intelligent)

Thats why hope is great. your parents dont have to be intelligent and you get assigned to teachers you can call even on weekends for help with work.

Math I can do all day long. I took Trig and Pre-Calc for fun. If you need math help you let me know lol. English, too, was a favorite of mine. I love to read and write, so that was always my favorite class. But history and science? No way in hell.

Science and English are my best. I can do well at anything else besides math.

It won't let me reply to your last comment for some reason, but for example, I have always had trouble with World History. I mean, I know when basic things happened, like the major wars etc, but I have a terrible time remembering names and dates of US presidents or major players in history.

Oh I gotcha. Yeah math isn't my strong suit.

That sounds a lot like K12. I might do that for my kids. I mean, I'm not stupid, but there are things I don't remember that the kids should learn, ya know?

Of course.

Yay!

Aww thanks so much, babe! Yes, do more!

I probaly will

Some people just aren't social creatures. He should know you well enough by now to know that you aren't into physical socialization. He shouldn't get mad at you for it. Have you tried talking to a professional about your anxiety? Sometimes medicine does help. I was put on medical cannabis when I was in california for my anxiety. It helped a lot.

Hey hun, how are you?

How about you?

I'm fine. Just a little sleepy.

Have you had your surgery yet?

No we're still trying to get me insurance.

What state do you live in? I may be able to help.

California. My mom already signed us up for medi-cal

But I don't know how thats going.

Ah that does take forever. I tried when I lived out there and it never went through. I moved to MD, applied for their state insurance and was approved within the month. But what can you do? I wouldn't worry too much, though. Surgery is scary, I am not going to sugarcoat it, but they are professionals. They know what they're doing.

Right.. thanks.

Alive. First trimesters suck balls Dx

Oh I'm sorry. I'm dreading the next month because I'll actually be going to public school...

Bah public school isn't that bad, trust me.

I'm just nervous...

Public school is nothing to worry over. Don't let them get to you. If you don't care what people think about you, they'll respect you that much more. Just be your awesome self and let them decide whether or not they like you. And if they don't like you, well they're just ******* retarded.

Right.. well..

last time I went to public school things didn't turn out all too well...

Is it something you wanna talk about?

I sent you a text so you know its me. But for now lets talk here because my phone is partially broken ;-;

Anyhow... I was in middleschool... I had long black hair at the time that everyone hated. One day on the bus someone sprayed my hair with perfume and lit it on fire...

Oh wow. Well that's california schools for you. So glad I'm having my kid out here. But, you have to remember that you're not a little kid anymore, and neither are your classmates. If you're lucky, they'll be adults about **** like they should be. Why don't you talk to your mom about doing online school, like You need to login to view this link or something like it? If public schools scare you that much, it might be a good option for you. And most of the online schools are paid for by the state, so there's that.

I've been homeschooled, but they think I need more social interaction. So I'm going.

I'd rather not talk about this anymore... its making me nervous. Sorry...

Sorry honey. Just trying to help. So I was thinking about getting Bioshock Infinite for PC. I played it on Xbox and loved it. What do you think? Also, is it controller compatible? I hate playing games with keyboard controls.

I haven't played it, but just about every game for pc is controller comparable. And if its not, I can still help you with a program called xpadded, which lets you map a controller to certain keys.

I could never figure that stupid thing out. I got Morrowind for PC and couldn't get the stupid thing to work. And you need to play it. Epic game.

I never managed to get into bioshock. I played the first one and got stuck...

I'm not very good at most games.

I'm great at warframe though.

Infinite was actually the first Bioshock game I played all the way through. I am stuck on Assassin's Creed 2 right now. I hate Ezio with a bloody ******* passion. I am trying to find some good RTS games for PC right now. Just got Civilization 4, but looking for more

I never got past AC2 because of the wonky controls and lack of good weapons. But revelations was amazing.

I don't know if you would want to play any games sometime.. and I don't have a very good library... but.

Well I don't know how to join someone's server, so text me and let me know how that works. Gotta go start dinner for the husband. <3 *kisses!*

Okay ehehe <3

Sounds like fun! Do you have Minecraft for PC?