Im sorry, but the best i can do right now is 0.00004 fucks. I need to polish it, and it will proboably sit on my shelves for a couple of months, take it or leave it.

You lowered the price!
This is bullshit man, raise it up to at least 5 fucks, or I'm taking this quality piece some where else.

Im sorry, but the market right now is not too good for cool stories, there is enough of them everywhere, here's what. You polish the story, make it a tad bit longer and descriptive, and we'll see the price then.

Alright so I was chilling with my brohamskis, and we were like.
"Yo Oliver Clothsoff! Ben Dover!"
And my brohamskis were like HAHAHAAHAHALOLXD!2!!!!!!ELEVENONE!!!
--
Is what I'm now offering you.

Hmm, a use of brohamskis? This ups the value by a margin. Here's what, i will state my price, you state yours and we will see if we can work out a deal. I'd say, based on the massive !'s, brohamski and 11111ONEELEVEN111 usage, it is worth maybe 2.3 fucks, and a lollypop.

How about 9.2 fucks? I know it's quadrupling the price, but it is a solid piece, and it'll make you a lot of money.

Im sorry, but the realisation time to sell it is not worth 9.2 fucks. How about we up the price to 3.3 fucks.

Alright so I was chilling with my best brohamskis (LIKE LOL! COOLEST GUISE EVAR)
and then like, I was like "lol dude, lol, take oliver clothsoff and ben dover!"
And they were like ALHLAHAHAHAHAH LELELELELE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLXDXDXDXD!!!!1@!@12!2!@@2!@!@ELEEVENEELEVENTYONE!FORTYTWO! !!
--
And a picture is what I'm offering you.

I can be negotiated, but i will price this at 7.8 fucks.

Negotiated with*

That seems like a fair price, I'll take it.

No, my friend has it. It's looking pretty good, but I didn't get to use it.

SIR, I USE ARE INSTEAD OF OUR, WE'RE STILL PRETTY FUCKED THOUGH.