turtletroll

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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:7/18/2012
Last Login:1/27/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#398
Highest Content Rank:#1834
Highest Comment Rank:#79
Content Thumbs: 4263 total,  4966 ,  703
Comment Thumbs: 26491 total,  28602 ,  2111
Content Level Progress: 27% (27/100)
Level 139 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 140 Content: Faptastic
Comment Level Progress: 21.3% (213/1000)
Level 322 Comments: Covered In Thumbs → Level 323 Comments: Covered In Thumbs
Subscribers:4
Content Views:286834
Times Content Favorited:288 times
Total Comments Made:6495
FJ Points:1380
Favorite Tags: OC (3)

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youtube videos

  • Views: 1343
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    Uploaded: 08/11/12
    First wank. First wank.
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    Comments: 5
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    Uploaded: 05/11/13
    Giant horse cock Giant horse cock
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    Comments: 1
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    Uploaded: 07/01/13
    Hows your childhood? Hows your childhood?
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    Uploaded: 09/10/12
    He is a faggot. He is a faggot.
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    Uploaded: 07/11/13
    The future of Disney The future of Disney
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    Uploaded: 10/24/12
    Nigga stole my horse Nigga stole my horse
1 2 > [ 7 YouTube Videos Total ]
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Total unique items point value: 26200 / Total items point value: 238900

Comments(2223):

[ 2223 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #2325 - konradkurze (01/23/2015) [-]
millennial kids are the scum of the earth
they are the ones fueling this SJW *********
User avatar #2328 to #2325 - turtletroll (11 hours ago) [-]
cheeky cunt who are you sending me a im message like that
User avatar #2326 to #2325 - turtletroll (01/23/2015) [-]
Whiteknights be like

spend all day inside on tumblr and never actually goes outside

"OMG do u even know how badly women get treated irl"
User avatar #2322 - konradkurze (01/22/2015) [-]
you gotta be stoned as **** if you think im giving up my nazi gold
User avatar #2323 to #2322 - turtletroll (01/22/2015) [-]
I didn't want it anyway
User avatar #2324 to #2323 - konradkurze (01/22/2015) [-]
sure
troll trolling again
User avatar #2261 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls The boners of the elderly.**
what does turtle worship as his god
#2302 to #2261 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Implying that Germany wouldn't have gotten rekt eventually
Implying that Germany wouldn't have gotten rekt eventually
User avatar #2303 to #2302 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
hell the only thing that rekt us was russia
(incoming ********* from krasnogvardiech)

without russia in the war....allies had no chance
User avatar #2320 to #2303 - krasnogvardiech (01/22/2015) [-]
It was German politics which got it fukt. If Rommel (or the commander of the theatre) had every request approved and delivered, Russia would have fallen.

Looking at you, anti-freeze and cold weather clothing.
User avatar #2304 to #2303 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
america with nukes. british and all the revolutionary groups in occupied lands
User avatar #2305 to #2304 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
to use nukes
usa needed secure lands to fly the bombs over
without safe bases in europe, usa could never reach germany....
checkmate

without the battle with russia, germany could allocate more manpower elsewhere and prevent more of the rebels

face it...russia was the allies only real power
User avatar #2306 to #2305 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Nukes could be flown from england
User avatar #2318 to #2306 - krasnogvardiech (01/22/2015) [-]
You're forgetting the ever-present high-speed missile which is designed to eliminate nuclear warhead delivery systems before they activate. That is, in mid-air.

I'd wager there's no nation on this earth without at least ten.
User avatar #2307 to #2306 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
*facepalm*

if england had fallen to germany then usa couldnt get nukes there or get planes up from england to fly to germany

User avatar #2308 to #2307 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
But think about how bad trying a beach landing on english ground would've been

We would have all our troops concentrated while on D day you were split between us and russia
User avatar #2309 to #2308 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
seriously youre not listening are you

we're talking russia not involved

plus youre forgetting how evil german paratroopers were.....
they dont need beaches to invade england
Fallschirmjäger / German Paratroopers in WWII
User avatar #2310 to #2309 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Aye but im saying look how bad D day was for us when you were totally split

And americans had pretty good paratroopers. There's a reason why it didn't work that well.
User avatar #2311 to #2310 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
D-day went so bad for allies and thats while germany was spread thin

imagine how it would have gone if germany had defended better...no allies would have made it up the beaches
plus there'd have been more troops to pick off paratroopers....if they ever came..if england fell the usa would have nowhere to set up to send paratroopers
User avatar #2319 to #2311 - krasnogvardiech (01/22/2015) [-]
There were plenty of well-defended locations. Normandy was the specific beach in which the defences were fewer.

And the landing was great. They landed, didn't they?
User avatar #2321 to #2319 - konradkurze (01/22/2015) [-]
well thats the issue....normandy was underdefended and still made it a bitch for allies to come
imagine if germany had been able to properly defend the area...allies would have had no chance
User avatar #2312 to #2311 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
thats my point

We would not be spread and it's pretty ******* easy to see your ships/planes coming
User avatar #2313 to #2312 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
remember
we had V1 rockets you werent able to stop

we could just fire them till you give in
User avatar #2314 to #2313 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
You would still need to have a huge assault wave
User avatar #2315 to #2314 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
paratroopers to secure the area while regular ground troops land on the beaches

we could have gone all sneaky and gone over to scotland and march down and youd be screwed
User avatar #2316 to #2315 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Maybe just maybe if you went in from norway

Honestly though we did have aa guns
User avatar #2317 to #2316 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
yeah and you were losing aa guns to bomber runs

hence why you were on the verge of collapse...you coudlnt defend much
User avatar #2282 to #2261 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
u fink ur better den me m8 il fukin spark u if u keep gassin bellend kunt
User avatar #2283 to #2282 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
yor a fookin cheeky chav cunt and ill bash ye fookin ead in i swear'n me mum
User avatar #2284 to #2283 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
spit down on me nans grave m8 u gonna get smashed cheeky bottlejob
User avatar #2285 to #2284 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
yor a little ******** slag
a total knobjockey pillock
User avatar #2286 to #2285 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
I rogered your matriarch
#2287 to #2286 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
I BET YOU COULD SUCK A GOLFBALL THROUGH A GARDEN HOSE
User avatar #2288 to #2287 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
I wager you still have a Sivapithecus like jaw similar to a Ramapithecus you plebeian
User avatar #2289 to #2288 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
I believe you to be a rather Faecal Encephalopathetic member of the Ponginae family
User avatar #2290 to #2289 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Such a brute to steep so low Kurzeworth as to mock my Ponginae ancestors . You really show your Australopithecines lineage with your debauched banter.
#2291 to #2290 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
lets all sit back an enjoy the sound of england becoming muslim

Allah save the Queen
User avatar #2292 to #2291 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
غاشم
User avatar #2293 to #2292 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
thats the spirit
learn your future language

youre young.
youll live long enough to see it official
User avatar #2294 to #2293 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
تعلم لغات جديدة هي هدية لك خداع
User avatar #2295 to #2294 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
إنجلترا ينتمي إلى العرب
الانتقام من أجل الحروب الصليبية الخاص بك إلى بلدانهم
User avatar #2296 to #2295 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
لا أعتقد أن إنجلترا هي الأرض الوحيدة سيتم فتحها في اسم الله العظيم كل . العالم كله سوف يكون للأمة العربية الجديدة للإسلام شقيق كونراد
User avatar #2297 to #2296 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
allahu akbar
User avatar #2298 to #2297 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Syrian will be happy to hear we have accepted our destiny to be trash
User avatar #2299 to #2298 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
dude
im german
we love bombing you british

NARNIA - THE BLITZ WAR
User avatar #2300 to #2299 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Still couldn't get air superiority

You had the SS we had SAS
User avatar #2301 to #2300 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
we had air superiority

we were a couple weeks away from making your nation into total economic collapse....just ********* called off the air raids before we got you

if ******* had been patient, youd be speaking german
User avatar #2262 to #2261 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Welp

That couldn't have gone much worse
User avatar #2263 to #2262 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
so turtle worships senior citizen dicks

damn dude
User avatar #2264 to #2263 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Well what do you worship
User avatar #2265 to #2264 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
guess you have to roll that for it to be fair
User avatar #2266 to #2265 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
I DONT KNOW HOW

#2268 to #2267 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Kurze actually worships mr death grips man
User avatar #2269 to #2268 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
not rolled
doesnt count
#2270 to #2269 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Didn't deny it though
User avatar #2273 to #2272 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
never happened

only rolls are official
#2274 to #2273 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
*roll future of kurze. turtle rolled mr death grips man*
#2276 to #2275 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Or was it a victory
User avatar #2277 to #2276 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Tweeting.**
how badly did turtletroll fail at life
User avatar #2278 to #2277 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Well twitter is annoying
#2279 to #2278 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
suits you then
#2280 to #2279 - turtletroll (01/18/2015) [-]
Implying i'm not a lovable little sweetheart you 						*******					 cunt
Implying i'm not a lovable little sweetheart you ******* cunt
User avatar #2281 to #2280 - konradkurze (01/18/2015) [-]
yor a fookin chav m8
User avatar #2258 - konradkurze (01/17/2015) [-]
one day turtle might curse us with little turtles
here he can name them

www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/1058463/baby-names-for-stoners
User avatar #2260 to #2258 - turtletroll (01/17/2015) [-]
From now on my name is Bud Blaze
#2257 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
welp
youtube is contaminated
User avatar #2259 to #2257 - turtletroll (01/17/2015) [-]
That aint even me

Some ******* impostor
User avatar #2240 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls The true meaning of Christmas.** what country should turtle move to
User avatar #2241 to #2240 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
christmas
turtle must move to arctic
#2242 to #2241 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
But do they have dank weed there
But do they have dank weed there
User avatar #2243 to #2242 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Women in yogurt commercials.** should turtle quit drugs
User avatar #2244 to #2243 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
What kind of answer is that
User avatar #2245 to #2244 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
means quit drugs and chase pussy

pussy > drugs
#2246 to #2245 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
Implying I have to chase it
User avatar #2247 to #2246 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
implying stoners get real girls

you get fellow stoners who just happen to be female
User avatar #2248 to #2247 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
implying that every hole isn't a goal
User avatar #2249 to #2248 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
turtletroll confirmed scoring with men too
User avatar #2250 to #2249 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
Shiet I walked into that one
User avatar #2252 to #2251 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
Gay is the new fad
User avatar #2253 to #2252 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll Magic 8-Ball*"**
**konradkurze rolls Outlook good**
will turtle **** ************
User avatar #2254 to #2253 - mudkipfucker (01/16/2015) [-]
oh boy. prepare anus.jpeg
User avatar #2255 to #2254 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
Turtletroll: its not only my shell thats hard right now

************ : oh Turtle...you make me damp
#2256 to #2255 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
Comin for that mudkip ass
Comin for that mudkip ass
User avatar #2222 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
sad how people butthurt over your one innocent comment
User avatar #2223 to #2222 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
nice quads mate

You ******* cunt that was supposed to be my quad comment
#2224 to #2223 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
what can i say
good things come in 4s

wrekt british casual
User avatar #2225 to #2224 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
joke was i was getting butthurt over you innocent comment about people getting butthurt over innocent comments
User avatar #2226 to #2225 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
ahem
implying im the one butthurting over my quad master race
User avatar #2227 to #2226 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
I guess I can wait for another 1111 comments
#2228 to #2227 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
do the joshlol and you'll go through that many in like a week and a half
#2229 to #2228 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
Why is he popular again
Why is he popular again
User avatar #2230 to #2229 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
he pretends to be forever alone and be a human meme
#2231 to #2230 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
Implying I don't live the death meme life
User avatar #2232 to #2231 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Lactation.**
how evil is turtle
User avatar #2233 to #2232 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
breast feeding is called the most natural thing in the world

Humans are sinful by nature

I am sin incarnate confirmed
User avatar #2234 to #2233 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
a turtle with tits.....

so natural?
User avatar #2235 to #2234 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
i didnt say that

just said its called the most natural thing

and humans are sinful by nature

so if im as evil as lactation I am the most evil thing
User avatar #2236 to #2235 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
*casts a spell on turtle so he grows dozens of boobs like a bunch of grapes*
#2237 to #2236 - turtletroll (01/16/2015) [-]
Take me seriously   
   
I am evil incarnate. I am death
Take me seriously

I am evil incarnate. I am death
User avatar #2238 to #2237 - konradkurze (01/16/2015) [-]
* turtle
* serious

wut
User avatar #2217 - damping ONLINE (01/15/2015) [-]
Remember the 6 million.
User avatar #2218 to #2217 - turtletroll (01/15/2015) [-]
how could i forget the 6 gorillion
User avatar #2219 to #2218 - damping ONLINE (01/15/2015) [-]
Reparations plz.
User avatar #2220 to #2219 - turtletroll (01/15/2015) [-]
of course mr gods chosen

Would you also like some military arms?
#2215 - Epicgetguy (01/14/2015) [-]
Jenny Death When?
#2208 - turtletroll (01/13/2015) [-]
How all rap sounds to konradkurze
How all rap sounds to konradkurze
User avatar #2209 to #2208 - konradkurze (01/13/2015) [-]
more like this

Monkey screeching Sound
User avatar #2210 to #2209 - turtletroll (01/13/2015) [-]
Implying you can even handle this cocoa flowco Cal Chuchesta - Cocoa (remix) ft. Pink Guy & Filthy Frank
#2211 to #2210 - konradkurze (01/13/2015) [-]
rap is so 						****					 it hurts
rap is so **** it hurts
User avatar #2212 to #2211 - turtletroll (01/13/2015) [-]
You can't take the heat of what hes spitting or the cocoa
User avatar #2213 to #2212 - konradkurze (01/13/2015) [-]
why are you so obsessed with the ********* genre of music
User avatar #2214 to #2213 - turtletroll (01/13/2015) [-]
Well I still love Metal most by far

but hippity hoppity music is one of my favorites. I still hate most of the rap music being released though
User avatar #2185 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Finding Waldo.**
what crazy **** did turtle do today
User avatar #2207 to #2185 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
I'd cut off my right arm for a right arm
User avatar #2187 to #2185 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
not yet been trying to find waldo for the past 10 years
User avatar #2188 to #2187 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
gotta be the drugs dude

when youre high you see **** or get distracted easily
User avatar #2189 to #2188 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
It can't be.

I've been reading hungry hungry Caterpillar for 10 years and I still haven't found waldo
#2190 to #2189 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll picture*"**
**konradkurze rolled image**
what does turtle see when stoned
User avatar #2191 to #2190 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
I don't even know a Phil

I should ask Phil if he knows a Phil
User avatar #2192 to #2191 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
im sending syrianassassin at you

only he can stop you getting stoned

arab skydiver allahu akbar webm
User avatar #2193 to #2192 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
But Muslims stone people all the time
#2194 to #2193 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll picture*"**
**konradkurze rolled image**
turtles fave drug
User avatar #2195 to #2194 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
thanks man man
User avatar #2196 to #2195 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
man man
moon moon

god dammit man man
User avatar #2197 to #2196 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
That monobrow

100% man man
#2198 to #2197 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll picture*"**
**konradkurze rolled image**
turtle will inject 4 of this dank ****
User avatar #2199 to #2198 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
Inject **** ?

Homemade natural ****

Its natural so its good for you
User avatar #2200 to #2199 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
yeah,,you know....you inject 4 marijuanas and OD
User avatar #2201 to #2200 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
I was talking about injecting literal ****
User avatar #2202 to #2201 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
yeah.....
only time i ever heard of someone doing that was a ******* AMERICAN

some redneck wanted to have his legs cut off...so injected his own **** into the legs to try forcing the doctors to amputate them
User avatar #2203 to #2202 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
Well why didn't they just amputate them :l

Its their job to do medical **** and he wanted them off

******* lazy
#2204 to #2203 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
they just gave him penicillin and cured what his **** did.....
its america dude......they live to keep people alive as productive little tax credits

a man without legs cant work and welfare tax is less than workinh tax

didnt help......the guy then tied his legs off to cut off blood flow and cut them off himself with a skillsaw
AW **** , MURICA
User avatar #2205 to #2204 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
Wow you can't trust doctors to do anything

if want something done right do it yourself
User avatar #2206 to #2205 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll Magic 8-Ball*"**
**konradkurze rolls You may rely on it**
will turtle cut parts off his body
#2173 - doggifseveryday (01/12/2015) [-]
i am very cold
i am very cold
User avatar #2174 to #2173 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
A shell would keep you warm in this cold weather

Fur aint good for ****
#2175 to #2174 - doggifseveryday (01/12/2015) [-]
you will notice that i often post small dogs   
this means i have hair not fur   
   
and thats even more useless
you will notice that i often post small dogs
this means i have hair not fur

and thats even more useless
User avatar #2176 to #2175 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
small dogs aren't **** either

Bunch of whiney little bitches
#2177 to #2176 - doggifseveryday (01/12/2015) [-]
*****					 you what   
   
you best not be dissin my dogs
***** you what

you best not be dissin my dogs
User avatar #2178 to #2177 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
Put a small dog in a ring with a turtle

Just watch the smackdown happen
#2179 to #2178 - doggifseveryday (01/12/2015) [-]
we've established that dogs will simply ride on tortoises
we've established that dogs will simply ride on tortoises
User avatar #2180 to #2179 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
Nah he's just picking up that dog for the choke slam
#2181 to #2180 - doggifseveryday (01/12/2015) [-]
you sure? turtles must be amazing at chokeslams
you sure? turtles must be amazing at chokeslams
User avatar #2182 to #2181 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
Yeah i know

PIck the ******* up on your back then jump 40-50 feet in the air (depends how much the turtle wants to **** you up) put the fin round the neck and throw them onto the floor

it's a easy maneuver for turtles
#2183 to #2182 - doggifseveryday (01/12/2015) [-]
of course we dogs can be rather dumb
of course we dogs can be rather dumb
#2186 to #2183 - konradkurze (01/12/2015) [-]
turtles fight dirty
turtles fight dirty
User avatar #2184 to #2183 - turtletroll (01/12/2015) [-]
Turtles have been the image of wisdom for many different cultures

Dogs are the image of obedience and subjugation. Dogs are slaves and Turtles are wise old free travelers. We're like Biker Wizards
#2171 - konradkurze (01/11/2015) [-]
turtletroll actually logged out of FJ

WHAT SORCERY IS THIS
User avatar #2172 to #2171 - turtletroll (01/11/2015) [-]
I logged in on my phone once and now i'm logged into FJ whenever my phone is on
User avatar #2157 - konradkurze (01/10/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Raping and pillaging.**
why is turtle a chav
User avatar #2159 to #2157 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
Because its fun
User avatar #2160 to #2159 - konradkurze (01/10/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll Magic 8-Ball*"**
**konradkurze rolls Signs point to yes**
was turtle one of the rape victims
User avatar #2161 to #2160 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
So i raped myself?

must be during the bad acid trip
User avatar #2163 to #2162 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
Oh yeah I remember when I did that

You should've seen my face when I did it
User avatar #2164 to #2163 - konradkurze (01/10/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Public ridicule.**
turtle did this after being raped
User avatar #2165 to #2164 - konradkurze (01/10/2015) [-]
dang
everyone knew about it and teased you
User avatar #2166 to #2165 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
I was pretty proud about it though so it didn't bother me
User avatar #2167 to #2166 - konradkurze (01/10/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Pretending to care.**
whats wrong with turtles brain
User avatar #2168 to #2167 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
What's wrong with your brain? is it okay buddy
#2169 to #2168 - konradkurze (01/10/2015) [-]
turtles face most days
#2170 to #2169 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
how can it fail me if i am brain?   
   
or wait am I turtle   
   
holy 						****					 which am i
how can it fail me if i am brain?

or wait am I turtle

holy **** which am i
User avatar #2137 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls A can of whoop-ass.**
what is wrong with turtletroll
User avatar #2138 to #2137 - turtletroll (01/09/2015) [-]
Im just too damn dangerous
User avatar #2139 to #2138 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls A rival dojo.**
how dangerous is turtle
User avatar #2141 to #2139 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
* turtle
* dojo aka ninja school

i see where thats going
User avatar #2143 to #2141 - turtletroll (01/09/2015) [-]
And I had a pizza today
#2147 to #2146 - turtletroll (01/09/2015) [-]
You're just mad you have to eat oats on the commie side
User avatar #2148 to #2147 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
we have tons of delicious eastern european foods

that DONT have all those fatty acids you brits munch down
User avatar #2149 to #2148 - turtletroll (01/09/2015) [-]
jealousy
#2150 to #2149 - konradkurze (01/10/2015) [-]
so being fat makes you better

i thought only samoans equated size to personal importance
User avatar #2151 to #2150 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
And Buddhists
User avatar #2152 to #2151 - konradkurze (01/10/2015) [-]
so youre a fat little buddhist kebab from samoa?
User avatar #2153 to #2152 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
Yeah and i'm a chav stoner turtle don't forget

The perfect being
User avatar #2155 to #2154 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
But he's not fat, pacifist or covered in samoan face tattoos
User avatar #2158 to #2156 - turtletroll (01/10/2015) [-]
Oh so that picture is before I had my bad acid trip
User avatar #2140 to #2139 - turtletroll (01/09/2015) [-]
See? im ******* deadly
User avatar #2142 to #2140 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®.**
what is ninja tuetletrolls skills
User avatar #2145 to #2144 - konradkurze (01/09/2015) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll cah answer*"**
**konradkurze rolls Gift-wrapping a live hamster.**
how gay is turtle
User avatar #2123 - konradkurze (01/07/2015) [-]
*sets turtle on fire*
User avatar #2124 to #2123 - turtletroll (01/07/2015) [-]
I'm a turtle

I live in water you ignorant sausage ******
User avatar #2125 to #2124 - konradkurze (01/07/2015) [-]
so i heat the water

turtle soup for all
User avatar #2126 to #2125 - turtletroll (01/07/2015) [-]
So you're basically a japanese guy in a german body?

Kurze the transethnic
User avatar #2127 to #2126 - konradkurze (01/07/2015) [-]
guess all that hentai is mutating me into a jap

at least im not raping you with tentacles
yet
User avatar #2128 to #2127 - turtletroll (01/07/2015) [-]
So you're a weeb
User avatar #2129 to #2128 - konradkurze (01/07/2015) [-]
hell no..i dont blindly follow **** without knowing anything about it

i study ****

User avatar #2130 to #2129 - turtletroll (01/07/2015) [-]
Kurze is a weeaboo confirmed

Kurzes anthem WEEABOO SONG (FULL VERSION)
User avatar #2131 to #2130 - konradkurze (01/07/2015) [-]
your life song m8
I'm A Chav OFFICIAL VIDEO 2009 (LIKE Group On Facebook - SingingSmithy)
User avatar #2132 to #2131 - turtletroll (01/07/2015) [-]
We were doing the trackies and squatting thing before eastern europe

Thats how innovative we are Kurze-chan
User avatar #2133 to #2132 - konradkurze (01/07/2015) [-]
doing it before us

england confirmed chav hipsters
User avatar #2134 to #2133 - turtletroll (01/07/2015) [-]
Bet you don't even buy underground indie rock on vinyls faggot lol

Bet youre only just getting into the trackie trend
User avatar #2135 to #2134 - konradkurze (01/07/2015) [-]
im a downloader
**** yo vinyl **** nyegga
User avatar #2136 to #2135 - turtletroll (01/07/2015) [-]
I buy CD's

Have a couple of vinyls and they sometimes sound better but it depends on how the album was produced. Still not worth how much more they cost though
User avatar #2096 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
How to get konradkurze mad

The government can be totally trusted
Rap music is the greatest genre
Praise the emperor
If arabs were born in germany that makes them aryan
User avatar #2097 to #2096 - konradkurze (01/05/2015) [-]
how to get turtletroll mad

england is turning black
tea is for homos
british singers suck
drugs are for losers
User avatar #2098 to #2097 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
The only thing that annoyed me there was your ******* text color

Pls
#2099 to #2098 - konradkurze (01/05/2015) [-]
turtletroll mad

wrekt
User avatar #2100 to #2099 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
Reagan was the greatest leader of the free world
User avatar #2101 to #2100 - konradkurze (01/05/2015) [-]
margaret thatcher was the best politician the uk ever had and the people loved her
User avatar #2102 to #2101 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
Nazi germany is a perfect representation of modernday germany.

Especially eastern germany
User avatar #2103 to #2102 - konradkurze (01/05/2015) [-]
the scottish and irish are superior people and william wallace should havre ruled england
User avatar #2104 to #2103 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
The germans brought down the Roman empire cos theyre filthy little forest folk
User avatar #2105 to #2104 - konradkurze (01/05/2015) [-]
king richard was th best king ever

what better than going to war to murder people over a fiction novel and taaxing the **** out of your people to pay for war of murder
ahhhh king richard was the original american
User avatar #2106 to #2105 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
The germans actually trusted greeks to repay their debts

rekt
User avatar #2107 to #2106 - konradkurze (01/06/2015) [-]
theres no such thing as british people

youre just the mix of scots, irish, welsh, french, germans and romans
User avatar #2108 to #2107 - turtletroll (01/06/2015) [-]
French doesn't really make sense.

The Normans weren't french. They were Norse Men That's where the name Normans comes from

So we essentially got ruled by Vikings twice
User avatar #2109 to #2108 - konradkurze (01/06/2015) [-]
there were french that moved into england....and added like 10,000 french words to the local language....and also used french magistrates to enforce the change hence how english became a bastard language of lawyer speak

like take a look at english, how many words mean different things and how many things have different words to describe them
perfect lawyer ******** language to spin words
User avatar #2110 to #2109 - turtletroll (01/06/2015) [-]
French weren't here long enough for them to really be considered a part of the country

English language is a mess

Pretty sure twerk got put in the dictionary.
User avatar #2111 to #2110 - konradkurze (01/06/2015) [-]
yeah and bling and other ******** words

italy is already crying about what nordics did to the alphabet let alone what english have done to words
User avatar #2112 to #2111 - turtletroll (01/06/2015) [-]
I had some Swedish cider called Alska

They had to write "pronounced Elska" on the front of the bottle

**** was delicious though
User avatar #2113 to #2112 - konradkurze (01/06/2015) [-]
typical teacup cant pronounce nordic words without help
User avatar #2114 to #2113 - turtletroll (01/06/2015) [-]
WHY NOT JUST SPELL IT ELSKA IF THATS HOW IT'S PRONOUNCED

CHEEKY CUNT
User avatar #2121 to #2114 - konradkurze (01/06/2015) [-]
explain how you have so much slang yet cry when america makes its own

you already ****** the language....its your fault america is doing what dear old daddy england started
User avatar #2122 to #2121 - turtletroll (01/06/2015) [-]
We got left without a adult for too long so we started colonizing ****

That strangely makes sense considering our history
User avatar #2120 to #2119 - turtletroll (01/06/2015) [-]
I can explain any of them

Try me m8
User avatar #2117 to #2114 - konradkurze (01/06/2015) [-]
and youre one to talk about americans raping english language

www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml

explain this ****
User avatar #2118 to #2117 - turtletroll (01/06/2015) [-]
Most of those make sense to me
User avatar #2115 to #2114 - konradkurze (01/06/2015) [-]
im sorry....how many english words sound the way theyre written

like 'enough' is said "ee-nuff' but 'though' is said 'doh"
choir looks likes its said 'choy-er' but said "kway-er'

or your english speech
the town Chalmondeley is spoken like 'chumley"
fukken limeys
User avatar #2116 to #2115 - turtletroll (01/06/2015) [-]
You're just not english enough to get it
#2087 - doggifseveryday (01/05/2015) [-]
turtletroll   
   
you best watch out
turtletroll

you best watch out
User avatar #2088 to #2087 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
For what?

You gonna get a swift fin to your jaw if you get cheeky
#2090 to #2089 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
yfw you realize dogs are inferior
yfw you realize dogs are inferior
#2091 to #2090 - doggifseveryday (01/05/2015) [-]
external testes is a huge downside, i'll admit
external testes is a huge downside, i'll admit
#2092 to #2091 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
Got to admit dogs make good musicians
Got to admit dogs make good musicians
#2093 to #2092 - doggifseveryday (01/05/2015) [-]
darn tootin they do!
darn tootin they do!
#2094 to #2093 - turtletroll (01/05/2015) [-]
Those lyrics though
Those lyrics though
#2095 to #2094 - doggifseveryday (01/05/2015) [-]
it's not all bad though
it's not all bad though
User avatar #2072 to #2070 - turtletroll (01/03/2015) [-]
and www.youtube.com/user/KommissarKvC ayyyyy

Didnt know you liked george carlin
User avatar #2074 to #2072 - konradkurze (01/03/2015) [-]
***** who DOESNT like carlin

only whiny tumblrinas
User avatar #2076 to #2074 - turtletroll (01/03/2015) [-]
Do you like bill hicks too *****
User avatar #2077 to #2076 - konradkurze (01/03/2015) [-]
Bill Hicks - Positive Drug Story

for you little stoner turtle
User avatar #2078 to #2077 - turtletroll (01/03/2015) [-]
I remember seeing that the first time and actually thinking "wait why do people jump off buildings to fly"

No bird does that
#2079 to #2078 - konradkurze (01/03/2015) [-]
turtletroll stoned at his pc all day long
User avatar #2080 to #2079 - turtletroll (01/03/2015) [-]
yoooo how can birds fly if they aint ballons

And the circle is complete
User avatar #2071 to #2070 - turtletroll (01/03/2015) [-]
I hate this

Some videos just dont play sound for me now

Ever since I got a new monitor
User avatar #2081 to #2071 - konradkurze (01/03/2015) [-]
how do bumblebees fly when they are the worst possible shape for flying..they are the most UNaerodymamic thing of all that flies

some engineers tried making an aircraft based off the bumblebee and the thing was unable to fly so how does a bumblebee do it
User avatar #2082 to #2081 - turtletroll (01/03/2015) [-]
cos god makes them fly
User avatar #2083 to #2082 - konradkurze (01/03/2015) [-]
yeah you gotta be stoned as a ************ to believe in the abrahamic god
User avatar #2084 to #2083 - turtletroll (01/03/2015) [-]
Just ******* realized I have to do a **** tonne of work for college by tomorrow

Looks like i'm staying up all night
#2085 to #2084 - konradkurze (01/03/2015) [-]
implying you werent gonna be up all night online anyway
User avatar #2086 to #2085 - turtletroll (01/03/2015) [-]
I was planning on going to sleep at 11

It's probably going to take 5 hours

I hate myself
User avatar #2073 to #2071 - konradkurze (01/03/2015) [-]
in short... a jew who claims he was a little kid in the camps, didnt 'lie' about the camps he just 'used his imagination to create how he saw things happen"

even the dudes son is upset with him that his dad was a lying asshole making up **** about the camps
User avatar #2075 to #2073 - turtletroll (01/03/2015) [-]
"oy vey the germans took me round every concentration camp to watch every murder take place so I can say that I am a witness to all the murders "
User avatar #2066 - konradkurze (01/01/2015) [-]
the turtleterrorist song

MINE TURTLE (asdfmovie song)
#2067 to #2066 - turtletroll (01/01/2015) [-]
I'll blow your ass up before you get close enough to step on me

Also I just bought fallout 2
User avatar #2068 to #2067 - konradkurze (01/01/2015) [-]
cherish it man.....
FO2 had alot of cool side quests and skills
User avatar #2069 to #2068 - turtletroll (01/01/2015) [-]
I've only just got to the second city but I can already tell i'm going to love it
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