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turtletroll    

Rank #80 on Comments
turtletroll Avatar Level 318 Comments: Wizard
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Last status update:
Getting my first tattoo next week tfw its gonna cost £260comment
Personal Info
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:7/18/2012
Last Login:9/16/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#1837
Comment Ranking:#80
Highest Content Rank:#1839
Highest Comment Rank:#79
Content Thumbs: 4259 total,  4961 ,  702
Comment Thumbs: 21397 total,  23175 ,  1778
Content Level Progress: 24% (24/100)
Level 139 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 140 Content: Faptastic
Comment Level Progress: 45.3% (453/1000)
Level 318 Comments: Wizard → Level 319 Comments: Wizard
Subscribers:4
Content Views:279946
Times Content Favorited:295 times
Total Comments Made:5091
FJ Points:10966
Favorite Tags: OC (3)

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Total unique items point value: 9200 / Total items point value: 225900

Comments(1164):

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1235 to #1233 - turtletroll (09/15/2014) [-]
You just think you're better then me dont ya?
User avatar #1236 to #1235 - konradkurze (09/15/2014) [-]
no not better, just a different type of crazy
User avatar #1237 to #1236 - turtletroll (09/15/2014) [-]
Well i'm a better kind of crazy then you faggot bich
#1238 to #1237 - konradkurze (09/15/2014) [-]
yeah ill admit....youre more crazy than me
yeah ill admit....youre more crazy than me
User avatar #1239 to #1238 - turtletroll (09/15/2014) [-]
Damn straight *****

I be so crazy I roll myself up in a blanket and set my self on fire because im dank as ****
User avatar #1240 to #1239 - konradkurze (09/15/2014) [-]
i can see it now.....you going to nepal and telling those monks when they set themselves on fire...they forgot the papers before they light up
User avatar #1242 to #1240 - turtletroll (09/15/2014) [-]
Just found out they did that over some faggy politics or some gay shiet

Those uppity monk cunts need to take life less seriously and chill out more
User avatar #1243 to #1242 - konradkurze (09/15/2014) [-]
yeah like them killing themselves would make the chinese government care....
******* lol
User avatar #1244 to #1243 - turtletroll (09/15/2014) [-]
the chinese government wont care cos theyre blazing me all day 420 smoke turtletroll in a blanket faggit

I already knew about that but gotta keep up my retard stoner fj cred
User avatar #1241 to #1240 - turtletroll (09/15/2014) [-]
well why else would they do it?

Hell I even threw myself into a cauldron of boiling water so it was like I was in a bong
User avatar #1234 to #1233 - turtletroll (09/15/2014) [-]
Well what goes on in your head which is so much better then that?
#1230 - caffeinecommissar (09/12/2014) [-]
Picture related.
User avatar #1231 to #1230 - turtletroll (09/12/2014) [-]
Nah m8 il get a g4nj4 l34f on my 4hed
User avatar #1229 to #1227 - turtletroll (09/12/2014) [-]
oxycotton is the only drug in my mind
User avatar #1228 to #1227 - turtletroll (09/12/2014) [-]
cocaine is for pussies
#1218 - caffeinecommissar (09/08/2014) [-]
Yo, I wanna make a blog, what do ya' suggest turtle?
#1219 to #1218 - turtletroll (09/08/2014) [-]
I don't even know what i'm going to do in 5 minutes never mind a good idea for a blog
I don't even know what i'm going to do in 5 minutes never mind a good idea for a blog
#1220 to #1219 - caffeinecommissar (09/08/2014) [-]
Damn, I was hoping you could bring me more suggestions for things to write about, Schnizzy - not surprisingly - suggested Yidds and race war.     
   
Mean while I was picturing your suggestion would be a bit more like... dropping a "little bit"  and by "little bit" I mean an imperial 						**********					  of acid.
Damn, I was hoping you could bring me more suggestions for things to write about, Schnizzy - not surprisingly - suggested Yidds and race war.

Mean while I was picturing your suggestion would be a bit more like... dropping a "little bit" and by "little bit" I mean an imperial ********** of acid.
User avatar #1221 to #1220 - turtletroll (09/08/2014) [-]
Well snizel is going to sniz.

You should probably make it about inciting a race war
User avatar #1223 to #1221 - caffeinecommissar (09/09/2014) [-]
In response to: www.funnyjunk.com/Or+Snoop+Dog+for+seven+hours/funny-pictures/5288098/131#131

Is my writefaggotry that bad seriously, be honest if it is because people keep telling me I'm good at story telling, but been having my doubts or do you just think it is extremely unlikely Games Workshop would change the fluff in that direction?
User avatar #1224 to #1223 - turtletroll (09/09/2014) [-]
I don't know if it would be as extreme as all the major marine chapter homeworlds being crushed along with catachan, valhalla etc.

But I could see it being written like that
#1225 to #1224 - caffeinecommissar (09/09/2014) [-]
I know, it would be a rather extreme move, I just like to drink coffee made from the tears of upset fan boys.

Anyway, I could see it work with the worlds still being reclaimable but I think I took the whole "make the situation even more hopeless" thing and ran as far away as I possibly could.
User avatar #1226 to #1225 - turtletroll (09/09/2014) [-]
I think a good route to go could be something like Terra gets destroyed?

Don't know how but still.

And because the emperors remains are on terra on the golden throne maybe that's what kicks off his rebirth
User avatar #1194 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
seriously Turtlechav

wot u fink of the moozik?
#1216 to #1215 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
ill let Preed from titan AE **** you
#1217 to #1216 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
gecko foot fetish
User avatar #1195 to #1194 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
Says he own name
Song about doing a dance?
Song about being yourself and having fun
Kind of rap sings
Female

It's Iggy Azalea in the past
User avatar #1199 to #1198 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
seen that link before

You cant catch me off guard
User avatar #1200 to #1199 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
fine
here....ill play you a victory song

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
User avatar #1201 to #1200 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
Sounds like a victory party song

Like something they would play at a Presidential election victory party
User avatar #1202 to #1201 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
you like being rickrolled?
User avatar #1205 to #1204 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
Who wouldn't go gay for a turtle
#1207 to #1206 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
You saying that you wouldn't?
#1208 to #1207 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
*pours mutagen on that turtle, *
User avatar #1209 to #1208 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
That's me
#1210 to #1209 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
no this is you

crazy ************ obsessed with turtles
#1211 to #1210 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
Let me be who I want to be
Let me be who I want to be
User avatar #1212 to #1211 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
plus you dont even want to know what id ****
User avatar #1213 to #1212 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
You would **** anything
User avatar #1214 to #1213 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
***** do i look like ************ ?

i have tight standards just have a fair number of wut the fuqs in there
User avatar #1187 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
hey Turtlechav me old matey

i found a limey song i liked

Betty Boo - Doin' The Do 1990 (HD 1080p) FULL EDIT
#1189 to #1188 - konradkurze (09/07/2014) [-]
U GOT A PROBLEM THERE M8EY?
User avatar #1190 to #1189 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
yh m8 i dont lik ur atityoud
#1192 to #1191 - turtletroll (09/07/2014) [-]
yh gigglin at ur mum m8
User avatar #1159 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
turtletrolls getting stoned music

Iron Butterfly - In A Gadda Da Vida (In The Garden Of Eden)
User avatar #1162 to #1159 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
Pink Floyd - Echoes
Tool - The Pot
Sleep - Dopesmoker
Electric Wizard - Dope Throne

Learn your sober privilege
User avatar #1163 to #1162 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
*sets up a pair of concert speakers outside your house and plays lady gaga as loud as i can *
User avatar #1165 to #1163 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
It would've worked if you said *plays country music*
User avatar #1167 to #1166 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
You wont tell anyone this is my kryptonite will you?
#1168 to #1167 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
i was just gonna go on the forum and tell everyone
i was just gonna go on the forum and tell everyone
User avatar #1169 to #1168 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
Do that and I will tell everyone yours
#1170 to #1169 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
/\ this guy   
thinks hes got 						****					 on me.....   
   
people on FJ listen to rap alot, i just tune that earbleed out   
   
youve got nothing
/\ this guy
thinks hes got **** on me.....

people on FJ listen to rap alot, i just tune that earbleed out

youve got nothing
User avatar #1171 to #1170 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
MY ANACONDA DONT WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT BUNS HUN

on repeat. Full blast. Everywhere you go.
User avatar #1184 to #1172 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
Still just wondering what you think about it

Their debut is in my top 5 albums of all time
User avatar #1185 to #1184 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
ocd stoner is ocd
User avatar #1186 to #1185 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
The last thing you could ever say about me is that I have OCD
User avatar #1173 to #1172 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
I like that

But you don't understand. You wont be able to drown it out.

Nicki Minaj everwhere you go/
User avatar #1174 to #1173 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
i can drown it out with hardcore

Ice-T - Ricochet [ Dirty,HD ] + Lyrics !
User avatar #1175 to #1174 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
Do you like that because you don't have any pre determined ideas going into it because you listened to it when you were younger because it's not that different from a lot of the rap around at that time
User avatar #1176 to #1175 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
no because its from a badass who put effort into his music instead of the 90's-2000's oogabooga rap that was just about ******** music out
User avatar #1178 to #1176 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
But are you going to tell me you don't love today was a good day by Ice Cube?

That was the **** on GTA SA
User avatar #1179 to #1178 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
ice cube was better as an actor than a singer
User avatar #1180 to #1179 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
True but still

What about Rage Against the Machine/
User avatar #1181 to #1180 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
i think i heard one of their songs...cant remmeber
User avatar #1182 to #1181 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
You probably heard Killing in the Name or Wake up

Listen to this **** and tell me what you think. Rap mixed with thrash and punk Rage Against The Machine: Know Your Enemy
User avatar #1183 to #1182 - konradkurze (09/06/2014) [-]
ahem
MIXED
as in not mainstream oogabooga rap
User avatar #1177 to #1176 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
Well Wu Tang mixed eastern oriental styles with pianos and turned it into hip hop

And you can't say they all didn't put effort in

A lot of it was bad but you can say the same for every genre of music
User avatar #1164 to #1163 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
Just look at her man

Shes one of us
User avatar #1161 to #1159 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
DO U EVIN W33D
User avatar #1160 to #1159 - turtletroll (09/06/2014) [-]
Not a hour long
Not drone music
Not about drugs

1/10
#1156 - whenindoubtsplooge (09/05/2014) [-]
I'm working on something for you atm.
I'm working on something for you atm.
#1132 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
Konichiwa Konradkurze-kun
Konichiwa Konradkurze-kun
User avatar #1133 to #1132 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
konradkurze senpai why you know notice me?
User avatar #1135 to #1134 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
possibly because putting the dash made it a new word and didnt notify me
User avatar #1158 to #1135 - turtletroll (09/05/2014) [-]
The candy man can
User avatar #1136 to #1135 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
Are you telling me you don't check my profile every 27.126 seconds senpai?
#1138 to #1137 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
I wont be your turtletroll-kun any more
User avatar #1139 to #1138 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
*humps the **** out of you*

i didnt want to stalk you turty.......didnt want to be myself creepy to the creepy turtle
#1140 to #1139 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
desu kawaii senpai noticed me.   
   
But if I see you go on snizels profile again I will 						*******					 harvest your spinal fluid
desu kawaii senpai noticed me.

But if I see you go on snizels profile again I will ******* harvest your spinal fluid
User avatar #1141 to #1140 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
but....but....i like teasing the psycho bosnian

hes so easy......
#1142 to #1141 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
*le shnizel nodin jif"   
   
I don't want to do it kurzey but I will harvest your spinal fluid. And neither of us want that
*le shnizel nodin jif"

I don't want to do it kurzey but I will harvest your spinal fluid. And neither of us want that
User avatar #1143 to #1142 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
*cuts all 4 of your turtle legs off and sells to chinese*

behave or i insert onions up your butt and sell you to china
#1144 to #1143 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
You can't kill me if based snoopdog protects me. 420 blayz et
You can't kill me if based snoopdog protects me. 420 blayz et
User avatar #1145 to #1144 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
then we'll bake you into a huge cannabis cookie and sell to california
User avatar #1146 to #1145 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
implyin im not a space cookie
User avatar #1147 to #1146 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
*prods your tummy*
idk a bit soggy to be a cookie

more like a brownie...theyre squishy
User avatar #1148 to #1147 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
But that implies im black
User avatar #1149 to #1148 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
you racist
#1150 to #1149 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
I may be that but atleast im not a ******
User avatar #1153 to #1150 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
im from east germany, we had NO ******* there

plus im a goth,,,the only things black about me are my clothes and hair

*puts a chaos curse on you*
User avatar #1155 to #1153 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
youre a cheeky little chav cunt arent ya
User avatar #1154 to #1153 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
Chaos. More like GAYos

amirite
User avatar #1151 to #1150 - konradkurze (09/03/2014) [-]
aka not michael bay turtle
User avatar #1152 to #1151 - turtletroll (09/03/2014) [-]
Lets break this down.

Konrad kurze. Kurze. Curze. Curse.

You live in Germany. GERM. Like a virus.

Some would say that black people are viruses.

Some black people practice voodoo.

KonardKurze confirmed to curse funnyjunk with his black voodoo
#1098 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 8**
is turtletroll an emo
#1096 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 5**
is turtletroll a total chav cheeky cunt
User avatar #1099 to #1096 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Told u m8
#1064 - whenindoubtsplooge (09/02/2014) [-]
You're it.
You're it.
#1066 to #1065 - whenindoubtsplooge (09/02/2014) [-]
You can't just tag me back, that ain't how this 						****					 works yo.
You can't just tag me back, that ain't how this **** works yo.
#1067 to #1066 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Too bad you're it
#1068 to #1067 - whenindoubtsplooge (09/02/2014) [-]
This is why we can't have nice things Turtletroll
This is why we can't have nice things Turtletroll
#1070 to #1068 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Just bring reality into the internet one disappointment at a time
Just bring reality into the internet one disappointment at a time
#1071 to #1070 - whenindoubtsplooge (09/02/2014) [-]
I think we're going to need a third party,  like peanutbitter , to settle this
I think we're going to need a third party, like peanutbitter , to settle this
User avatar #1080 to #1071 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
I think we should call Konradkurze in.

What do you think *****
#1082 to #1081 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Doesn't answer the question m8erino
#1083 to #1082 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
what are you trying to sucker me into?
User avatar #1121 to #1083 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
But it's ours
User avatar #1122 to #1121 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
again
why would you want anything to do with a land of chimps
User avatar #1123 to #1122 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Cheap workers
User avatar #1124 to #1123 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
not really cheap when they steal stuff and cost you money
User avatar #1125 to #1124 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Still cheaper then white people.

We have rights and all that bull
User avatar #1126 to #1125 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
you never hired poles have you

cheap HUMAN workers who work hard and are honest
User avatar #1131 to #1126 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
bi polar
User avatar #1127 to #1126 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Polish. Honest.

Must be a typo
User avatar #1129 to #1128 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
I prefer coffee

Its hard to pin down poles. Theyre all polar opposites
User avatar #1130 to #1129 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
what do you call a polish person who ***** both guys and girls
#1105 to #1083 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
When konradkurze comes on my profile and calls me welsh
When konradkurze comes on my profile and calls me welsh
User avatar #1106 to #1105 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
youre fookin welsh

you having a cry ya nancy?
#1107 to #1106 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Why you bully me
User avatar #1108 to #1107 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
oh god, here we go

turtlechav crying hes been triggered
User avatar #1109 to #1108 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
I HAVE PTSD FROM UR OPPRESION STOP TRIGGERING ME ITS WORSE THEN SOLDIER PTSD
User avatar #1110 to #1109 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
RAPE


STOP RAPING ME TURTLETROLL
User avatar #1117 to #1110 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
#Justiceforbritain #arrestindia

We defended ourselves against them and then they kick us out of our home in india
User avatar #1118 to #1117 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
your home?

teacups invaded, enslaved, then imported ******* from africa to breed the indians into retarded black slaves

why the **** would you want to live in a ****** country
User avatar #1119 to #1118 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
No it was ours. We owned it for a bazillion years then dirty indians invaded and kicked us out

Clearly you havent read british propaganda volume 3
User avatar #1120 to #1119 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
there we go again

you taught america "if i think its mine, its mine"
User avatar #1115 to #1110 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
The indians attacked first.

It was self defence
User avatar #1116 to #1115 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
see thats where your son america gets it from

invade someone and say them defending themselves is the real aggression
User avatar #1111 to #1110 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
YOU SAID RAPE

YOU PUT RAPE IN MY MIND YOU MENTAL RAPIST
User avatar #1112 to #1111 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
CHECK YOUR BRITISH PRIVILEGE.......

YOUR NATION OWNED HALF THE WORLD YOU PRIVILEGED TEACUP
User avatar #1113 to #1112 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
ONLY 30% OF THE WORLD

REMEMBER THE 6GORILION NAZI MAN
User avatar #1114 to #1113 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
british occupy india
kill confirmed 60 million
noone cares

germany occupies europe
blamed for unconfirmed 6 million jews
everyone cries

wut?
User avatar #1084 to #1083 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Just decide who was in the right faggot or else ill cut your hands off
User avatar #1085 to #1084 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
clearly he doesnt know the game rules....you have to say **** like "no backsies" or "cant tag your master" or something.....so technically you were right to tag him back
User avatar #1086 to #1085 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
There we have it whenindoubtsplooge

Thank you based kurze
User avatar #1087 to #1086 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
btw turtlechav

do you have that american dad 'what' pic
#1091 to #1090 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
here

for giving a goth gif you earn a cookie
User avatar #1103 to #1091 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
I aint I swer down on me mum m8
User avatar #1104 to #1103 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
bollocks
you is a cheeky welsh git
youre a right little nancy boy right out of cardiff
User avatar #1101 to #1091 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
but im not welsh

i have never though about molesting a sheep
User avatar #1102 to #1101 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
Yur a cheeky welsh git, You is
#1097 to #1091 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Atleast im not a faggy anti nonconformist conformist poser
Atleast im not a faggy anti nonconformist conformist poser
#1100 to #1097 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 9**
is turtletroll a cheeky welsh cunt
#1094 to #1091 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
I don't conform to any group you poserrrr
I don't conform to any group you poserrrr
#1095 to #1094 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
like whatever
youre just conforming to the stereotypical nonconformists
User avatar #1092 to #1091 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
I dont want your cookie you conformist poser
User avatar #1093 to #1092 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
a stoner refusing a cannabis cookie?

....dude
User avatar #1024 - konradkurze (08/31/2014) [-]
wake up turtletroll
#1059 to #1024 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
But what if they send supplies to the Irish that want out of our paradise?

I have no fear though. For Basil Brush protects. All hail the Brush

User avatar #1060 to #1059 - konradkurze (09/01/2014) [-]
irish bomber ftw

teach them bloody brits what for
User avatar #1061 to #1060 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
It worked out so well for them last time
User avatar #1062 to #1061 - konradkurze (09/01/2014) [-]
so one irish blows up a dozen or two people....brits say "oh well that didnt work out so well for him"?
User avatar #1069 to #1062 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
Admin got scared and gave me my 420 text
#1072 to #1069 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
yfw

"whoa the colors"
User avatar #1073 to #1072 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
It's like yellow. But not
#1074 to #1073 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
you and your melted butter text
User avatar #1075 to #1074 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
more like weed text AMIRITE XdDdD
#1077 to #1076 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
its green like w33d xD fourhundred and twenty blaze it
its green like w33d xD fourhundred and twenty blaze it
#1078 to #1077 - konradkurze (09/02/2014) [-]
yfw colored text
#1079 to #1078 - turtletroll (09/02/2014) [-]
2 much maryjuweenie
2 much maryjuweenie
User avatar #1063 to #1062 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
Well they got pretty rekt last time
User avatar #1039 to #1024 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
Wake up konradkurze
#1043 to #1042 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
Thank me for saving your life,
Ungrateful ****
User avatar #1045 to #1044 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
How come I didn't get colored text for a 770thumbed comment.

Admin pls
User avatar #1046 to #1045 - konradkurze (09/01/2014) [-]
he enjoys watching you suffer
User avatar #1047 to #1046 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
And I thought you were the sadist
User avatar #1048 to #1047 - konradkurze (09/01/2014) [-]
its ADMIN
the most evil ************ on FJ
User avatar #1049 to #1048 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
I thought you were Chaos though.

You gonna be out eviled by a administrator?
User avatar #1050 to #1049 - konradkurze (09/01/2014) [-]
yeah but im slaaneshi, i take a little pleasure in others suffering then move on to new things

admin is khornate....he enjoys seeing EVERYONE suffer ALL THE TIME
User avatar #1051 to #1050 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
That's false. Admin is the emperor. Absolute power and if you try to speak against him.

BANNED
User avatar #1052 to #1051 - konradkurze (09/01/2014) [-]
such rage
he is def a champion of khorne

User avatar #1053 to #1052 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
What if hes a part of the Ecclesiarchy?
User avatar #1054 to #1053 - konradkurze (09/01/2014) [-]
then hed be one of those ultra puritans who think not kissing his ass is a sin and sinners must be punished harshly
User avatar #1055 to #1054 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
What if this site helps pay for the North Korean nuclear projects and Admin is Kim Jong Un's number one supporter?

User avatar #1056 to #1055 - konradkurze (09/01/2014) [-]
then good....american kids are paying admin to nuke them
User avatar #1057 to #1056 - turtletroll (09/01/2014) [-]
But he might bomb England too ;(

Nothing to worry though. I'm pretty sure they're still figuring out how to use apposable thumbs
User avatar #1058 to #1057 - konradkurze (09/01/2014) [-]
given north korea pretends the soviet union is still around....they might think the UK is still under attack from the IRA and think youre being bombed enough
User avatar #1013 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
Konradkurze do you like the misfits?
User avatar #1038 to #1023 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
I meant this The Misfits anyway The Misfits - Last Caress
#1015 to #1014 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
Gotta love the cheesy music
Gotta love the cheesy music
#1019 to #1015 - konradkurze (08/31/2014) [-]
U FUKKEN WOT MATE ILL BASH YE FOOKIN 'EAD IN I SWEAR'N ME MUM

**** ENGLAND, **** IT WITH NUKES
User avatar #1020 to #1019 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
Wats ur problem wit the largest empire in the world M8

u jelly m8?
User avatar #1022 to #1020 - konradkurze (08/31/2014) [-]
dude, england dropped the ball now nazimerica is #1 imperialist
#1016 to #1015 - konradkurze has deleted their comment [-]
#1017 to #1016 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
Where did that come from
Where did that come from
User avatar #1018 to #1017 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
konradkurze what was that about
#1021 to #1018 - konradkurze (08/31/2014) [-]
Dinnae Ye be talking badly o' the Misfits Ya daft wee ********
User avatar #1025 to #1021 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
I dinnae talk ***** about et
User avatar #1026 to #1025 - konradkurze (08/31/2014) [-]
youre a daft bugger

il bet you havent even listened to Siouxsies music even though shes english
User avatar #1027 to #1026 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
I only listen to underground indie.

Tips scarf
User avatar #1028 to #1027 - konradkurze (08/31/2014) [-]
*puts a porkpie hat on your head and a monocle on your eye to make you more british*
User avatar #1029 to #1028 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
Thank **** .

I turned into a hipster for a minute then. Now i'm back to my good old welfare check taking, burberry cap wearing, adidas tracksuited self. Not a chav though
User avatar #1030 to #1029 - konradkurze (08/31/2014) [-]
if you have to keep saying "not a chav" it means yo uare and are just denying it
#1031 to #1030 - turtletroll (08/31/2014) [-]
Or that's what I want you to think
Or that's what I want you to think
#994 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]
Realizing that konradkurze is a cis white male
Realizing that konradkurze is a cis white male
User avatar #995 to #994 - konradkurze (08/28/2014) [-]
realizing that turtletroll is a cis green male
User avatar #996 to #995 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]
Implying that im not a fluid gender transpecie transethnic.

I am a multi gender african american turtle and what you just said offended me
User avatar #997 to #996 - konradkurze (08/28/2014) [-]
implying that im not a gender neutral slaanesh marine

ill have you know im a gender-x nostraman chaos marine and you offend me with your loyalist propaganda
User avatar #998 to #997 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]
Chaos marines are known to rape.

Check your privilege
User avatar #999 to #998 - konradkurze (08/28/2014) [-]
rape?
i call ******** ...we dont rape mortals....and demon girls rape US
User avatar #1000 to #999 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]
Implying that men can be raped and womyn can rape?

Everybody is equal except those who are too privileged like yourself
User avatar #1001 to #1000 - konradkurze (08/28/2014) [-]
.......implying demon women cant rape?

you dont know slaanesh demons do you.....

You need to login to view this link
User avatar #1002 to #1001 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]
please read some feminist ideology and you will open your eyes pig
User avatar #1003 to #1002 - konradkurze (08/28/2014) [-]
i know feminist ideology...and the worst cases are not much different than schnizels desired nazi regime

i think the future of feminism will be perfect for him....the return of the nazi reich, and he gets put in a luxurious breeding pen and ***** women all day
#1004 to #1003 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]
The only way he's ever going to get laid
#1005 to #1004 - konradkurze (08/28/2014) [-]
turtletroll just did a real low blow there
User avatar #1006 to #1005 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]
I always go for the balls

homo
User avatar #1009 to #1008 - konradkurze (08/28/2014) [-]
Schnizel

come tell this turtle that bosnian white is the master race and his green people are lesser
#1010 to #1009 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]
"bosnian master race"
User avatar #1012 to #1011 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]
#37 - turtletroll ONLINE (05/27/2014) [-]
Schnizel wat r u saying abowt in Britain m8

Seen it pussy cunt
#980 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
< the internet before and after turtletroll
User avatar #981 to #980 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
I'm getting a new cat tomorrow.

Slightly relevant
#983 to #982 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
i 						****					 turtles not cats.
i **** turtles not cats.
#985 to #984 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
I i i errrrrr.

I feel like bees are stinging my brain
User avatar #987 to #986 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
That cat is still confusing me. My dick doesn't know what to do. It's been bouncing around like crazy for the past 2 minutes.

User avatar #988 to #987 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
oh god that reminds me of a comic

now i have to post it
User avatar #989 to #988 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
REEEEEPOOOOOOOOSTTTTTTTT
User avatar #991 to #990 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
That's not your OC

You have no talent
User avatar #992 to #991 - konradkurze (08/28/2014) [-]
just has to be original....doesnt need to be ones own just not on FJ before
User avatar #993 to #992 - turtletroll (08/28/2014) [-]


repost
#948 - konradkurze (08/26/2014) [-]
proof that Turtletroll is in fact a cat   
   
* cats often sit still and stare at 						****					 that isnt really there, or at random objects that suddenly appear to be cool for no apparent reason   
* turtletroll does this same thing   
   
therefore turtletroll is a cat
proof that Turtletroll is in fact a cat

* cats often sit still and stare at **** that isnt really there, or at random objects that suddenly appear to be cool for no apparent reason
* turtletroll does this same thing

therefore turtletroll is a cat
User avatar #957 to #948 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
What animal would you be
User avatar #958 to #957 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
i collect stuff i like.....i eat mostly crap.....
im a crow
User avatar #959 to #958 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
My old cat once killed a crow

So therefore Me>you
User avatar #960 to #959 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
enjoy your diabetes
User avatar #961 to #960 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
Enjoy my digestive system you bird ****
#962 to #961 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
implying you can keep me in there
User avatar #963 to #962 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
Man the munchies have strengthened my digestive system.

I could eat a bomb and then detonate it and be fine
User avatar #964 to #963 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
then ill curl into a ball in your intestines and permanently constipate you
User avatar #965 to #964 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
You forgetting that I live in a big muslim area. Everytime I get the munchies and go to a takeaway it has to be curries.

You sure you can deal with 3 servings of vindaloo in your eyes?
User avatar #966 to #965 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
so i have my eyes burn.....totall worth having you puff up like a balloon full of your own poop and farts that never come out

you gotta know how painful holding poop and farts in can be...imagine that for weeks
User avatar #967 to #966 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
Yes but you're the one living next to my ****

I think I come out better in this situation
User avatar #968 to #967 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
i think after being in a stomach full of acid and spices...id be beyond giving a ****
User avatar #969 to #968 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
I couldnt give a **** either pun intended
User avatar #970 to #969 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
i think it you dont **** for long enough, you die
User avatar #971 to #970 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
But at the same time the only food you have to eat is my **** and really spicy curries.

And what would you drink? my acids
User avatar #972 to #971 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
ill just sit there and suffer dehydration waiting for you to die from not ********
User avatar #973 to #972 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
And you also cant breathe
User avatar #974 to #973 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
great we die together

still be embarrasing for you

"here lies turtletroll....died from a bird up his ass"

for me
"here lies konrad....died in a ******** that actually wasnt america"
User avatar #979 to #974 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
Eminem - Fack lyrics

My life song
User avatar #977 to #974 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
You will be in that puddle too

It would look like I tried to shove a crow up my ass like some people do with gerbils
User avatar #975 to #974 - turtletroll (08/27/2014) [-]
I thought I would die from something way more embarrassing.
User avatar #976 to #975 - konradkurze (08/27/2014) [-]
well when you die and your muscles relax....you'll **** out a week's worth of poop and the ambuland workers will find you laying in a puddle of brown
User avatar #949 to #948 - turtletroll (08/26/2014) [-]
but if im a cat wheres my tail?

You take my tail ?
User avatar #950 to #949 - konradkurze (08/26/2014) [-]
i cut it off and sold it to an asian chef
User avatar #952 to #951 - konradkurze (08/26/2014) [-]
puts a bandaid on it susan
User avatar #953 to #952 - turtletroll (08/26/2014) [-]
too l8 m8

Been at my dads for almost 2 weeks tfw no internet and have to socialize
User avatar #954 to #953 - konradkurze (08/26/2014) [-]
youre a joshlol clone?
no friends?
#956 to #954 - turtletroll (08/26/2014) [-]
I ended up spending £145   
   
mfw party hard
I ended up spending £145

mfw party hard
User avatar #955 to #954 - turtletroll (08/26/2014) [-]
Nope nope nope

I will never be that thing

But i was so bored
User avatar #940 to #939 - turtletroll (08/16/2014) [-]
K

Im about to go eat some chicken for dinner right now actually. I'm sure he will be delicious
User avatar #942 to #941 - turtletroll (08/16/2014) [-]
You go out and eat raw vegetables straight out the ground and see what it does to you.

We have to prepare food like meat AND vegetables. Also believe it or not but plants are actually alive and respond if you damage them so I guess what you're doing is growing a life just to make it breed so you can eat it?

User avatar #944 to #943 - turtletroll (08/16/2014) [-]
They ARE alive.

They went down a different evolutionary path to animals but they're still living beings.
User avatar #945 to #944 - caffeinecommissar (08/21/2014) [-]
Which is why you and I smoke them?
User avatar #946 to #945 - turtletroll (08/22/2014) [-]
We are evil people.

Killing living things and smoking the corpses
#947 to #946 - caffeinecommissar (08/22/2014) [-]
But it feels so good.
But it feels so good.
User avatar #931 - caffeinecommissar (08/11/2014) [-]
**** , turtletroll - my Stonerdudebro - gotta hear this.

>Be me, literally five minutes ago.
>Sitting outside the house, at the back, smoking some unknown **** .
>Blunt goes out, lighter can not be found.
>Look around me, no ******* where.
>"Heh, this will make a good story to tell Turtletroll. Better light up again.
>Go inside house to fetch matches and a candle.
>Puts blunt down so I don't walk all over the house with it.
>Find matches, get a candle.
>Blunt is no where to be found.

Okay ****** , that was some good **** .

I found the blunt as I was typing this story, I put it by the computer somehow, going out to smoke again.
User avatar #936 to #931 - turtletroll (08/15/2014) [-]
So what happened?
User avatar #937 to #936 - caffeinecommissar (08/15/2014) [-]
Eh when? The Nation Builder chat? I was basically overtired and snapped.
User avatar #938 to #937 - turtletroll (08/15/2014) [-]
Its fine anyway im sure we can wait until next week or whatever
User avatar #933 to #931 - turtletroll (08/11/2014) [-]
Yeah smoking effects memory pretty bad

I once went to my friends house and forgot which house it was but convinced myself it was a certain one. Knocked on the door and this guy opened it and I just entered without even asking or looking at him and as I was about to go upstairs someone shouted from upstairs "Who have you let in".

That's when I realized that i'm a ******* moron
User avatar #934 to #933 - caffeinecommissar (08/11/2014) [-]
Yeah, later found my lighter in my sock, my work pants has no pockets so I've developed a habit of stashing stuff in my socks.
User avatar #932 to #931 - caffeinecommissar (08/11/2014) [-]
Now where did I put the matches?
#935 to #891 - turtletroll (08/12/2014) [-]
Have you seen the film Control about Ian Curtis?   
   
My dad just bought it and I know you like Joy Division.   
   
Also mfw finding out my dad likes joy division
Have you seen the film Control about Ian Curtis?

My dad just bought it and I know you like Joy Division.

Also mfw finding out my dad likes joy division
User avatar #892 to #891 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
Well he was right in the end wasn't he?
#894 to #893 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
If I can enter can I also backspace?
User avatar #898 to #894 - konradkurze (08/09/2014) [-]
turtletrolls life song

Afroman - Because I Got High
User avatar #900 to #898 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
Your life song

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch
#901 to #900 - konradkurze (08/09/2014) [-]
a turtletroll is a mammal
#902 to #901 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
I have a spiders nest strategically placed in my anus   
   
I dare you
I have a spiders nest strategically placed in my anus

I dare you
User avatar #896 to #895 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
the SCHNIZNIPOBAMSNIPSNIPSNAP

Let's brake this down. Schniz. That's short for Schnizel
Nip. Derogatory term for Japanese
Bam. Sound of an explosion
Snip. Cutting something
Snap. Could be somebody snapping and doing something crazy?

In short. I believe this proves that Schnizel got all emo and started cutting himself before snapping and allying himself with the japanese and then blowing up the twin towers.

Snozel did 9/11
User avatar #897 to #896 - konradkurze (08/09/2014) [-]
Sniz - angry ************ who needs weed to shill
Nip: angry honor system ************* who need to shill
Bam: sound of drug dealers gun shooting cops
Snip - cutting the baggie open
snap - when someone gets a bad trip and turtletroll shouts 'aw snap'

User avatar #899 to #897 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
I thought sniz was 9/11 but i was acualy 9/11
User avatar #903 to #899 - konradkurze (08/09/2014) [-]
Sniz is the kind of terrorist that brought a sick note from his doctor saying he cant suicide bomb
family guy - osama bin laden
User avatar #904 to #903 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
They have doctors in bosnia?

Can schnizel confirm please
User avatar #915 to #904 - schnizel (08/09/2014) [-]
Yes
User avatar #929 to #926 - schnizel (08/10/2014) [-]
they r cheip
User avatar #927 to #926 - schnizel (08/10/2014) [-]
***** that was a long time ago
User avatar #928 to #927 - turtletroll (08/10/2014) [-]
Oh yeah just saw the date on it

But for real though. Adidas tracksuits. Whats up with em
User avatar #916 to #915 - turtletroll (08/10/2014) [-]
What a time to be alive
User avatar #917 to #916 - schnizel (08/10/2014) [-]
Yes
User avatar #918 to #917 - turtletroll (08/10/2014) [-]
You guys getting internet soon?
User avatar #920 to #919 - turtletroll (08/10/2014) [-]
tfw knowing snozel has no running water ;(

ill send you some shekels lil ***** so you can get your flu jabs
User avatar #921 to #920 - schnizel (08/10/2014) [-]
aww yis
User avatar #922 to #921 - turtletroll (08/10/2014) [-]
How are the riots going in bosnia?
User avatar #923 to #922 - schnizel (08/10/2014) [-]
None so far.
User avatar #924 to #923 - turtletroll (08/10/2014) [-]
Well shiet is there some protests going on atleast? I thought something was happening
User avatar #925 to #924 - schnizel (08/10/2014) [-]
nope
#905 to #904 - konradkurze (08/09/2014) [-]
of course he has doctors...how else does Schnizel carry out medical experiments
User avatar #906 to #905 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
>IMPLYING THAT EVER HAPPENED

YOU BELIEVE THE JEW LIES GOOD GOY

jk
User avatar #907 to #906 - konradkurze (08/09/2014) [-]
some of it did happen....

oddest thing...a couple years back a jew doctor who was a camp inmate in the war...was caught performing nazi style experiments on his patients in israel
User avatar #908 to #907 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
Thats why I said jk m8

Sick ***** be in every country
User avatar #909 to #908 - konradkurze (08/09/2014) [-]
though sniz would be evil enough to do random **** like seeing how long a jew and survive inside a microwave before they explode....or testing having technologicl devices implanted into people like the mechanicus from warhammer
User avatar #910 to #909 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
I think he's lost in the Warhammer 40k universe

He wants a absolute monarchy ruling a xenophobic, militarized nation

What if he is the emperor and Warhammer 40k is a prophecy?

User avatar #911 to #910 - konradkurze (08/09/2014) [-]
i think given north korea is losing faith in kim jong un...its time to put snizz in the leadership role he wants
User avatar #912 to #911 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
Snizz Jong El
#913 to #912 - konradkurze (08/09/2014) [-]
Schnizel
Bosnia south europe
BEST south europe
#914 to #913 - turtletroll (08/09/2014) [-]
Your paint skills are incredible   
   
Bosni becomes best Korea   
   
Anyway I gotta go bed. Tired as a 						*******					 						******					 doing something 						*********
Your paint skills are incredible

Bosni becomes best Korea

Anyway I gotta go bed. Tired as a ******* ****** doing something *********
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