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turtletroll

Rank #1422 on Comments
turtletroll Avatar Level 319 Comments: Wizard
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Last status update:
How did I get so ill so fastcomment
Personal Info
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:7/18/2012
Last Login:12/17/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#1422
Highest Content Rank:#1834
Highest Comment Rank:#79
Content Thumbs: 4261 total,  4964 ,  703
Comment Thumbs: 23076 total,  24944 ,  1868
Content Level Progress: 25% (25/100)
Level 139 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 140 Content: Faptastic
Comment Level Progress: 72.1% (721/1000)
Level 319 Comments: Wizard → Level 320 Comments: Covered In Thumbs
Subscribers:4
Content Views:284985
Times Content Favorited:295 times
Total Comments Made:5868
FJ Points:12235
Favorite Tags: OC (3)

latest user's comments

#1664 - oh my based god give me the swag to get through to this non be…  [+] (13 new replies) 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1665 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 4**
is turtle a breadbasket
User avatar #1666 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You miss typed absolutely based
User avatar #1667 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 9**
is turtletroll a nutter
User avatar #1668 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Cant you spell? its B A S E D
User avatar #1669 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
* BONGED

aka stoned turtle
User avatar #1670 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Bonged sounds like the british version of based

I am Bonged God
User avatar #1671 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
007
James Bong
User avatar #1672 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
i should get more tattoos. dress like lil b but makes songs about tea and rainy barbecues
User avatar #1673 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
fuknchav
User avatar #1674 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Thats it

Chavs are the white english version of niggers

praise bonged god
User avatar #1675 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
finally

got you to admit youre a fukn chav
User avatar #1676 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You admitted that I am bonged god
User avatar #1677 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
no i said youre james bong and you praised bonged god

and you submit to chavdom

fuknchav
#1662 - But hes based god the bait has been taken  [+] (15 new replies) 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1663 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
User avatar #1664 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
oh my based god give me the swag to get through to this non believer

If based god isn't based god then how come he looks like bill gates?
#1665 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 4**
is turtle a breadbasket
User avatar #1666 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You miss typed absolutely based
User avatar #1667 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 9**
is turtletroll a nutter
User avatar #1668 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Cant you spell? its B A S E D
User avatar #1669 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
* BONGED

aka stoned turtle
User avatar #1670 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Bonged sounds like the british version of based

I am Bonged God
User avatar #1671 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
007
James Bong
User avatar #1672 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
i should get more tattoos. dress like lil b but makes songs about tea and rainy barbecues
User avatar #1673 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
fuknchav
User avatar #1674 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Thats it

Chavs are the white english version of niggers

praise bonged god
User avatar #1675 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
finally

got you to admit youre a fukn chav
User avatar #1676 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You admitted that I am bonged god
User avatar #1677 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
no i said youre james bong and you praised bonged god

and you submit to chavdom

fuknchav
#1660 - lil B - i think im based god  [+] (17 new replies) 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1661 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
more monkey music
User avatar #1662 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
But hes based god

the bait has been taken
#1663 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
User avatar #1664 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
oh my based god give me the swag to get through to this non believer

If based god isn't based god then how come he looks like bill gates?
#1665 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 4**
is turtle a breadbasket
User avatar #1666 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You miss typed absolutely based
User avatar #1667 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 9**
is turtletroll a nutter
User avatar #1668 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Cant you spell? its B A S E D
User avatar #1669 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
* BONGED

aka stoned turtle
User avatar #1670 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Bonged sounds like the british version of based

I am Bonged God
User avatar #1671 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
007
James Bong
User avatar #1672 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
i should get more tattoos. dress like lil b but makes songs about tea and rainy barbecues
User avatar #1673 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
fuknchav
User avatar #1674 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Thats it

Chavs are the white english version of niggers

praise bonged god
User avatar #1675 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
finally

got you to admit youre a fukn chav
User avatar #1676 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You admitted that I am bonged god
User avatar #1677 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
no i said youre james bong and you praised bonged god

and you submit to chavdom

fuknchav
#1658 - >party >not playing progressive speed glam folk true…  [+] (19 new replies) 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
User avatar #1659 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
pick a song
User avatar #1660 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
lil B - i think im based god
#1661 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
more monkey music
User avatar #1662 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
But hes based god

the bait has been taken
#1663 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
User avatar #1664 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
oh my based god give me the swag to get through to this non believer

If based god isn't based god then how come he looks like bill gates?
#1665 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 4**
is turtle a breadbasket
User avatar #1666 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You miss typed absolutely based
User avatar #1667 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 9**
is turtletroll a nutter
User avatar #1668 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Cant you spell? its B A S E D
User avatar #1669 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
* BONGED

aka stoned turtle
User avatar #1670 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Bonged sounds like the british version of based

I am Bonged God
User avatar #1671 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
007
James Bong
User avatar #1672 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
i should get more tattoos. dress like lil b but makes songs about tea and rainy barbecues
User avatar #1673 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
fuknchav
User avatar #1674 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Thats it

Chavs are the white english version of niggers

praise bonged god
User avatar #1675 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
finally

got you to admit youre a fukn chav
User avatar #1676 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You admitted that I am bonged god
User avatar #1677 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
no i said youre james bong and you praised bonged god

and you submit to chavdom

fuknchav
#1656 - Sorry P-Wiggy 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1653 - **turtletroll rolls 4** is kurze secretly a wigger and prete… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1651 - I will neither confirm nor deny that But most likely yes 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1649 - You didn't need to ask the 8 ball I could just tell y… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1647 - I would I was testing you. Now I dont need to brand f… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1645 - I thought he was Skrewdriver 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1643 - Death grips have ascended beyond humanity 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1641 - Death Grips are one of the most experimental groups of the pas… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1639 - Mastodon has been pretty consistent They have 2 class… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1637 - I'm kind of on the fence with that band Some son… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1635 - I was about to say Iron Maiden but the still have The X Factor… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1633 - Still though at least they tried something I would lo… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1631 - They're a bad band you have to admit Just because the… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1629 - Materino i grew up on metal Talking about bad music a… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1627 - That's what im talking about though Still good stuff.… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1625 - Literally talks against the rap and gang culture and hes the o… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1624 - The term ‘real ******** is publicly used. A… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1622 - When I say the word fun, what do you envision? Probably dr… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1620 - Well he was homeless for a long time and involved with drugs h… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1618 - Well considering she was a crack head and hit him times before… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
#1616 - Eminem is actually good though Vanilla Ice is essenti… 12/09/2014 on turtletroll's profile 0
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Total unique items point value: 9200 / Total items point value: 225900

Comments(1827):

[ 1827 comments ]

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Latest users (1): konradkurze, anonymous(4).
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1932 - konradkurze (3 minutes ago) [-]
hey bro
wanna help me troll a troll?
User avatar #1893 - konradkurze (16 hours ago) [-]
'MURICA!!!!

New Fair Food: Fried Butter On A Stick!
#1914 to #1893 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
tfw a white girl became muslim at my school

tfw she had a miscarriage at 15 before that
User avatar #1915 to #1914 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
thats what you get for letting the cheeky darkies in from jamaica

chimps stick their dicks in anything
#1916 to #1915 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
tfw she was drinking and smoking all the way through pregnancy

tfw she wasn't the biggest skank at my school

tfw my school needed metal detectors outside the gates
User avatar #1917 to #1916 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
that moment turtletroll realizes he lives in America part two
User avatar #1918 to #1917 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
I told you

Its grim up north
#1919 to #1918 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
the United States Kingdom
User avatar #1920 to #1919 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
The Anglosphere

Just get Straya and new zealand in
User avatar #1921 to #1920 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
well there is that 5 eyes thing where usa canada uk australia and nz are in
User avatar #1922 to #1921 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
Should America even be in the Anglosphere

It's got a **** load of Italians, poles and god forbid.. Irish
User avatar #1923 to #1922 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
meh....israel controls it all anyway
nuke israel and let syrianassassin cook hotdogs on the fire
User avatar #1926 to #1923 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
Syrian still hasnt told me his master plan

They couldn't even take Israel. Never mind Europe and America
User avatar #1927 to #1926 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
syrianassassin
show the turle your map of the new communist arab empire
User avatar #1928 to #1927 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
TELL ME YOUR SECRETS SYRIANASSASSIN

He keeps telling me that he will tell me his secret plan

#1929 to #1928 - konradkurze (14 hours ago) [-]
this is what he wants under one arab nation
User avatar #1930 to #1929 - turtletroll (14 hours ago) [-]
Spain and porutgal

I dont have enough keks
User avatar #1931 to #1930 - konradkurze (14 hours ago) [-]
syrry isnt exactly a sane man

noone knows what goes on in his head
User avatar #1895 to #1894 - konradkurze (16 hours ago) [-]
that coming from a british lad where his people put MORE sugar into candy than americans
User avatar #1896 to #1895 - turtletroll (16 hours ago) [-]
It's also about moderation

Our chocolate may be the greatest **** but we have the discipline to not eat it all the time
User avatar #1898 to #1897 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
I'm just glad we don't have supersize fast food **** and walmart
#1899 to #1898 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
yeah
its like "america, why the **** do you serve drinks in 1.5 LITER cups"
User avatar #1900 to #1899 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
Why the **** would you have that

And if anyone says that they shouldn't be selling food and drinks that big and unhealthy its " ****** socialist stop trying to control us"

Well stop trying to drink a months worth of sugar in a day
#1901 to #1900 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
WHOA look at that
big surprise who's darkest
User avatar #1902 to #1901 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
Denmark and russia are darker then I'd expect
User avatar #1903 to #1902 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
> denmark
> stoners
> munchies
> easier access to swiss chocolates than UK
User avatar #1904 to #1903 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
Got a idea.

I should start selling British chocolates in America. And just to make it even more appealing to them ill mix red bull into every batch of choclate

muricans love sugar
User avatar #1905 to #1904 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
.....that moment turtletroll just admitted he wants to kill americans with food
User avatar #1906 to #1905 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
Hey they're doing it anyway

I'm just speeding up the process
User avatar #1908 to #1907 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
wir mussen die murican ausratten
User avatar #1909 to #1908 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll Magic 8-Ball*"**
**konradkurze rolls It is certain**
will turtletroll do an MC hammer dance on american graves
User avatar #1910 to #1909 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
I'm hitting up ground zero and then the Vietnam memorial first
User avatar #1911 to #1910 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
turtlechav admitted he will MC hammer dance
User avatar #1912 to #1911 - turtletroll (15 hours ago) [-]
You know it. Konradturkze
#1913 to #1912 - konradkurze (15 hours ago) [-]
england needs more kebab
hide ugly british girls behind niqabs

User avatar #1879 - konradkurze (17 hours ago) [-]
plus you wouldnt stick your dick into some of the weird girls im into
User avatar #1881 to #1879 - turtletroll (17 hours ago) [-]
no **** you'd **** dry ice
User avatar #1883 to #1881 - konradkurze (17 hours ago) [-]
least the ice looks more female than british slags

WREKT
#1886 to #1885 - konradkurze (17 hours ago) [-]
< still prettier than a british girl
User avatar #1887 to #1886 - turtletroll (17 hours ago) [-]
Germany has Merkel

We have Cheryl Cole. Check M8
User avatar #1888 to #1887 - konradkurze (16 hours ago) [-]
implying one fugly west german accounts for all german women
implying one hot brit counts for all brit women

failed like a chav
#1889 to #1888 - turtletroll (16 hours ago) [-]
What next? not all kebabs are terrorists?
What next? not all kebabs are terrorists?
User avatar #1890 to #1889 - konradkurze (16 hours ago) [-]
well....syrianassassin has never bombed anyone......

User avatar #1891 to #1890 - turtletroll (16 hours ago) [-]
so far
User avatar #1892 to #1891 - konradkurze (16 hours ago) [-]
syrianassassin of poor
can only buying bargain bin terrorist gear

FAIL scary movie 4 terrorist
User avatar #1871 - konradkurze (17 hours ago) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll Magic 8-Ball*"**
**konradkurze rolls Concentrate and ask again**
will turtletroll be a virgin for life
User avatar #1872 to #1871 - konradkurze (17 hours ago) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll Magic 8-Ball*"**
**konradkurze rolls My sources say no**
will turtletroll be a virgin for life
User avatar #1873 to #1872 - turtletroll (17 hours ago) [-]
cus ima **** your bitch

bitch
#1874 to #1873 - konradkurze (17 hours ago) [-]
but....your little pencil will pop her
User avatar #1875 to #1874 - turtletroll (17 hours ago) [-]
Dont worry it's not big enough to do any damage

btw you lucky bastard
#1876 to #1875 - konradkurze (17 hours ago) [-]
that moment turtletroll sees tictacs and gets jealous of how big and hard they are compared to his tiny limp noodle
User avatar #1877 to #1876 - turtletroll (17 hours ago) [-]
Well yo bitch seemed to like it

She didnt say that but she kind of just led there and let me do whatever I wanted
User avatar #1878 to #1877 - konradkurze (17 hours ago) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll Magic 8-Ball*"**
**konradkurze rolls Outlook not so good**
is turtletroll a casual
User avatar #1880 to #1878 - turtletroll (17 hours ago) [-]
Well your girls a slut m8
#1882 to #1880 - konradkurze (17 hours ago) [-]
at least mine looks like a woman

yours look like men who cant grow facial hair

WREKT
#1884 to #1882 - turtletroll (17 hours ago) [-]
I now love dogs on swings exclusively.    
   
I'm not in love with King McRide anymore
I now love dogs on swings exclusively.

I'm not in love with King McRide anymore
#1793 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll picture*"****konradkurze rolled image**   
turtletroll will star in this movie
**konradkurze used "*roll picture*"**
**konradkurze rolled image**
turtletroll will star in this movie
User avatar #1795 to #1793 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
bambi 2?

bambi grows up, finds a mate, has a kid, then a hunter shoots the mother and bambi's son grows up the same way dad did
User avatar #1770 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
TURTLEBRO

need your help
User avatar #1834 to #1770 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
No way!

Im a rainbow fox too

small world
User avatar #1835 to #1834 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
yeah but youre just gay

im a tgirl
User avatar #1836 to #1835 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Yeah SUPER GAY
User avatar #1837 to #1836 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
yes you are

you'll never be a sexy girl, youll just take dick like a ************
User avatar #1839 to #1838 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
are you cis scum and cry that you are the gender youre born
User avatar #1840 to #1839 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
"girl"

You disgust me kurze
User avatar #1841 to #1840 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
seriously turtle

dont go all puritan
User avatar #1842 to #1841 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
you are now half a man

or half a tri gendered cryo fish or whatever
User avatar #1843 to #1842 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
*hands turtle some tissues and a bag of weed* cheer up you emo
#1844 to #1843 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
dude what if trannies were like transpecie too   
   
whoa
dude what if trannies were like transpecie too

whoa
User avatar #1845 to #1844 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
those are called Furries
*cough* josh lol *cough*
User avatar #1858 to #1845 - kattr ONLINE (12/14/2014) [-]
Joshlols not a furry
User avatar #1846 to #1845 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
good god furries are just slightly worse than that thing
User avatar #1847 to #1846 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolled user thesoulseeker ** is a furry fox
#1851 to #1847 - thesoulseeker (12/14/2014) [-]
I feel so triggered right now... my offendedness is just at an impossible high level!
I am a mono-gendered blue-yellowish-green dragonkin for your information and I just hate it when people just assume I'm some sort of furry when I am in fact a scalie!

You should, like, totally kill yourself for oppressing me in such a way you white-male-cis-scum ******** !
#1853 to #1852 - thesoulseeker (12/14/2014) [-]
Although Argonians are totally, like, the master race I just feel so harassed that you'd fap to porn of sclies! That's totally gross you ******** !
Although speaking seriously monster girls are totally hot.... and fictional For now!
#1854 to #1853 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
did you ever see that old movie 'fritz the cat"
had a nice lizard girl in it

You need to login to view this link
#1865 to #1854 - thesoulseeker (12/14/2014) [-]
Holly **** that's ugly!
User avatar #1848 to #1847 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
youre a poly gendered bionic ox or whatever so arent you a furry?
User avatar #1849 to #1848 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
and youre a turtle trans-species
User avatar #1850 to #1849 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Hey im actually a turtle

Just because Im a teenage mutant turtle who practices in assassnation doesnt mean i aint a turtle
User avatar #1813 to #1770 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
No way are you 34

You are a goth. Dont you guys kill yourselves at 21
#1814 to #1813 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
stereotyping goths
turtletrolls ignorance makes me sad

theres different ypes of goth....im a chaos goth....not the suicidal emo type
User avatar #1815 to #1814 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
THERES A DIFFERENCE?

Shiet i thought emos and goths were the same thing
User avatar #1816 to #1815 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
that coming from a 'metaller' who also listens to chav music aka not pure metaller
User avatar #1818 to #1816 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
its like "oh you dont dive in moshpits and dont grow your hair out. ******* poser"

#1819 to #1818 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
*roll 1*
is turtletroll a poser
User avatar #1820 to #1819 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Great. now I have to go back to Glee
User avatar #1821 to #1820 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
*roll 1*
is turtletroll a backstreet boy
User avatar #1822 to #1821 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
****

I was happy going to glee but I can stand those fags
#1823 to #1822 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
**konradkurze used "*roll picture*"****konradkurze rolled image**   
how gay is turtletroll
**konradkurze used "*roll picture*"**
**konradkurze rolled image**
how gay is turtletroll
User avatar #1824 to #1823 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Oh god thats pretty ******* gay
User avatar #1825 to #1824 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolled user kattr **
turtletroll loves this person
User avatar #1826 to #1825 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Just tell them. gawd kurze i wasnt confident enough to talk to them yet
#1827 to #1826 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
well i think Kattr is a scandanavian

bite the pillow Turtle....kattr shows no mercy
User avatar #1867 to #1827 - kattr ONLINE (12/14/2014) [-]
That's wrong you ******* bitch faggot. Normans (settlers from norway) attacked england at the same time as the norelwegians were so england was getting attacked from both the north and south and only had enough men to defend one direction and they went north, which is when Normandy made England their bitch
User avatar #1868 to #1867 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
so youre norwegian
User avatar #1869 to #1868 - kattr ONLINE (12/14/2014) [-]
KILL yourself
User avatar #1855 to #1827 - kattr ONLINE (12/14/2014) [-]
Im anglo-norman
User avatar #1856 to #1855 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
danish?
User avatar #1857 to #1856 - kattr ONLINE (12/14/2014) [-]
Anglo ******* norman
#1859 to #1857 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
anglo norman aint no country i ever heard of   
they speak english in anglo norman
anglo norman aint no country i ever heard of
they speak english in anglo norman
User avatar #1863 to #1859 - kattr ONLINE (12/14/2014) [-]
no!!!!
User avatar #1864 to #1863 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
searched anglo norman....get results for england....

youre either french from normandy or part of england that the normans made their bitch
User avatar #1861 to #1859 - kattr ONLINE (12/14/2014) [-]
Um yes they invented middle english
User avatar #1862 to #1861 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
aka british

kattr is a teacup
#1828 to #1827 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
i dont want you round here when bae shows up
i dont want you round here when bae shows up
User avatar #1829 to #1828 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
oh so now you accept being gay

finally stopped fighting those feelings huh turtle
User avatar #1830 to #1829 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
and you will too one day
#1831 to #1830 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
im not gay
im bailey jay
User avatar #1832 to #1831 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Thats beyond gay
User avatar #1833 to #1832 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU ******* CIS SCUM

ILL HAVE YOU KNOW IM A TRI-GENDER RAINBOW FOX
User avatar #1817 to #1816 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
metal head who likes rap music, prog, and hardcore punk

I just like metal most and i dont really buy into the whole "true metal fan" thing
User avatar #1791 to #1770 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
I will never forgive him for playing Alexander.

I was named after Alexander The Great and got a tattoo of the ****** and that potato ****** plays him and makes him look like a bitch

He was good in In Bruges htough
User avatar #1792 to #1791 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
then there was harts war where he acted like aa semi-emo, and that ******* boring total recall remake where hes a piece of wood and they cut out the interesting part with the 3-breasted hooker flashing him....

the only time he showed meotion was when he was a cocaine addict on 'horrible bosses'
User avatar #1794 to #1792 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
The total recall remake

i dont get why the remake these films. They are never as good as the original so if I wanted to watch total recall I would just watch hte original because its the better film

but gotta get that rehash money
User avatar #1796 to #1794 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
yeah the remake is **** ....

too scared to see the ROBOCOP remake,,,but from trailers it looks way too actual america planning a new world order wanting obedient killer cops
#1797 to #1796 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Watch they will start remaking Indiana Jones movies or something next

mfw they remake the godfather trilogy
User avatar #1798 to #1797 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
could be worse

they suggested making a new ghostbusters movie...bill murray took one look at the script snd through it into a paper shredder
gotta be **** if murray destroyed his script
User avatar #1799 to #1798 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Just imagine this

Rob schneider is a Colombian veteran... But now hes going to realize that selling crack aint so easy. *ensue "loopy comedy music" and hilarious scenes of him falling over*

Rob Schneider is. Scarface
User avatar #1800 to #1799 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
another overused little ****

and seriously the only reason his career keeps going is because
DUM DUM DUM
hes jewish

User avatar #1801 to #1800 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
And Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller and that whole crowd
User avatar #1803 to #1802 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Some good actors but most are totally mediocre or bad

Rob schneider is the worst
User avatar #1804 to #1803 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
and yet that little assbiscuit for the part for deuce bigalow 1-2
User avatar #1805 to #1804 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
What is your favorite film of all time
User avatar #1807 to #1806 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
never seen it
User avatar #1808 to #1807 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
well was made back in the 70's before little turtletroll even hatched
User avatar #1809 to #1808 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Ayy i know of other films in the 70s
User avatar #1810 to #1809 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
itty bitty little young turtletroll with a squeaky young voice
User avatar #1811 to #1810 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Well how old are you mr big bollocks
#1812 to #1811 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
old man of 34
User avatar #1771 to #1770 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
With what
User avatar #1772 to #1771 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
got some gay troll lurking around redthumbing me
can you please greenthumb the comments he crapped on
User avatar #1773 to #1772 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
Done I think
#1774 to #1773 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
turtle brofist
#1775 to #1774 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
You lucky a true 						*****					 here for you
You lucky a true ***** here for you
User avatar #1776 to #1775 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
here have real rap

Grand Theft Auto 1 Theme - Joyride by Da Shootaz
User avatar #1783 to #1782 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
****** will smith

I havent seen Men In Black 3 but Im also guessing its shiet
User avatar #1784 to #1783 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
yeah will is one of those actors you just see his name on something and be filled with dread
"dear god what has he made **** now?"

havent seen MIB3 and too scared too in case its ANOTHER "will smith making something into a circus clown act"
User avatar #1785 to #1784 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
After Earth... he called his character SCYPHER RAGE

and ******* gayden smith was in it

I never rated Will Smith as a actor
User avatar #1786 to #1785 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
he should have just stopped at fresh prince
he suited the role of an immature hoodrat,

but taking his whacky ****** style of acting made him the jarjar binks of everything he stars in
User avatar #1787 to #1786 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
I also think Tom Hanks is just as bad if not worse
User avatar #1788 to #1787 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
he was okay in saving private ryan and green mile.....
did okay back in the day with the movie 'Big'

other than that he is overrated and overused simply because hes connected with the NWO

and seriously....playing a retard in 'forest gump'....and a homo in 'philidelphia' were just wrong
User avatar #1789 to #1788 - turtletroll (12/14/2014) [-]
I thought he was awful in green mile

he hardly ever acts but people say hes incredible.

He doesnt express any emotion
#1790 to #1789 - konradkurze (12/14/2014) [-]
you havent seen colin farrell

walking piece of wood

you could expect that when he played bullseye the hitman on daredevil....heartless killer no emotion....or the guy in SWAT...a cop with problems, no emotion....or even fright night,,,a vampire with no emotions....but seriously....hes a one trick pony
User avatar #1748 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
turtletroll is a fat guy

too much crumpets and tea

Ramstein - Keine Lust
User avatar #1769 to #1748 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
You so fat every pair of shoes you wear become flip flops
User avatar #1749 to #1748 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
But they're german.

That's you and crew
#1750 to #1749 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
fine
have that fat british guy Mr Price who was forced to pay for 2 seats on a plane trip
User avatar #1751 to #1750 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
Lol theres this guy my age who used to live down my street who has to buy 2 seats.

He used to get a black pudding and fried egg sandwich everyday in college
User avatar #1752 to #1751 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
**konradkurze stands 1 meter away from turtletrol and can still touch his belly**
u fat bruh
User avatar #1753 to #1752 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
Yo so fat u owe haiti a apology
User avatar #1754 to #1753 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
you so fat you the reason africa starving
User avatar #1755 to #1754 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
youre the reason they make diet coke
User avatar #1756 to #1755 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
we're not stuck to earths gravity...we're all stuck to yours
User avatar #1757 to #1756 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
yo so fat u took plutos place as a planet
User avatar #1759 to #1758 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
You so fat you sat on a iPhone and turned it into a ipad
User avatar #1760 to #1759 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
you so fat you sat on coal and the pressure turned it to diamond
User avatar #1761 to #1760 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
You so fat youre on both sides of your family
User avatar #1762 to #1761 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
you so fat when you lay down, your left hand is in ipswich and your right hand is in galway
User avatar #1763 to #1762 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
yo so fat when you took a selfie. facebook crashed
User avatar #1764 to #1763 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
youre so fat, the hubble telescope in space had move back a couple light years to fit you in frame
User avatar #1765 to #1764 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
yo so fat you jumped in the air and got stuck
User avatar #1766 to #1765 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
you so fat you use the sun as the lighter to blaze your bong
User avatar #1767 to #1766 - turtletroll (12/12/2014) [-]
Yo so fat you get out both sides of the bed
#1768 to #1767 - konradkurze (12/12/2014) [-]
you so fat you went to a costume party as a life sized red dwarf ship
User avatar #1685 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
here
Nostraman based song

The Prodigy - Breathe
User avatar #1657 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
party at turtles house

turtles not invited

Reaper - Altum Silentium
User avatar #1678 to #1657 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You're welcome child

You have helped me realize that I am bonged god

May burberry caps and WKD come to you
User avatar #1679 to #1678 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
lets play some REAL music

Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]
User avatar #1680 to #1679 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
"real music"

Let me help you child

Prepare to become bonged

Blackout Crew - Put A Donk On It - Out Now
User avatar #1682 to #1681 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
So whats the german version of based

Turked?
User avatar #1683 to #1682 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
im sorry, who has that whole neighborhood of kebabs where people can wander around all day and not say a word of english
thats right
******* ENGLAND

who had a ******** of kebabs protesting how theyre being discriminated
******* ENGLAND

who proved the band skrewdriver right
guess what.... ******* ENGLAND
#1690 to #1683 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
soon london
User avatar #1743 to #1690 - turtletroll (12/11/2014) [-]
Why u do this
#1744 to #1743 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/11/2014) [-]
wanna get educated about communism?
User avatar #1746 to #1744 - turtletroll (12/11/2014) [-]
So are you gonna educate me

fagit
User avatar #1745 to #1744 - turtletroll (12/11/2014) [-]
yes pls
User avatar #1684 to #1683 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Yeah I actually live in a area that is at least 90% non white

But they arent turkish
#1687 to #1684 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
sandmonkeys are sandmonkeys

hell good old syrianassassin wants all arabs as one people
allahu akbar
User avatar #1691 to #1687 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Well if they got their own country they would immediately try to take everything else

Also spain? its been a long time since they had that place
User avatar #1692 to #1689 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You can keep africa though
#1693 to #1692 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
nah. we will take what is ours

like a lightning strike from the cloudless sky
User avatar #1694 to #1693 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
It's not yours though

Most people in Spain are christian and thats been the staple for a long ass time

It's like the british saying "We want america back it is ours by right"
User avatar #1695 to #1694 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
well, n one said to their ****** king to rape someone.

if you know Al-Andalus go read about it. and know how it is created. because the christian Spanish king enjoyed rape.
User avatar #1696 to #1695 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Okay so all the Spanish Citizens should be forced into a coalition they dont want and be subjugated to other religious dogma?

Because of something that happened a long time ago
User avatar #1697 to #1696 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
nope.

go read about al andalus again and see how christians and jews lived with us.

the jew golden age is the muslims golden age in that time. if they used any kind of arrogance there would be no non muslim living with them.

that land will just be under our control.
User avatar #1698 to #1697 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Right

Im sure they will be much better off

I bet they would just love to be ruled by a totally different race of people with different beliefs from hundreds of miles away setting their laws on them.

What happened a long time ago is totally irrelevant and you arent even taking into account what the people of spain want.
User avatar #1699 to #1698 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
oh no. we let people go around their own filth without doing anything.

nah thank you for that offer.
User avatar #1700 to #1699 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Well what if I just said

"Yeah we should rule you now. It's in your best interest to hand over all your autonomy to the great british government"

That is ******* retarded
User avatar #1717 to #1700 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
and they dont know what we welcomed them for.

so yeah let them eat drink dance and laugh now.
#1719 to #1717 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
mfw sat back in Northern England watching all this happen
User avatar #1718 to #1717 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I think they will over their conquered land, super advanced weaponry, laughably easy victory and billions on billions given from germany and america.

Also they havent stopped fighting or training so waiting isnt doing much
#1715 to #1700 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
i dont need to know anything from my anyone. if anyone want war then we welcome them.
i dont need to know anything from my anyone. if anyone want war then we welcome them.
User avatar #1716 to #1715 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Then what happened with Israel. You welcomed them pretty well

They hardly broke a sweat and established total dominance over the entire area
#1713 to #1700 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
secret is secret

dont worry it wont take long until it get revealed. that day everyone will be biting his own finger from fear. and all we will hear from them is O we hope we was Dirt
User avatar #1714 to #1713 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Okay then we wont tell you about our secret weapon. And we totally have one

But just sayan if your secret weapon is "god will smite you" then you should know that you atleast need to have a weapon to use it
User avatar #1711 to #1700 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
nah dont worry. nothing like this.
User avatar #1712 to #1711 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
What then tell me!

I know youre ******* up to something
#1709 to #1700 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
but i said we dont need nukes!
User avatar #1710 to #1709 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
So what is your weapon then?

What are you hiding. Nukes? genetically modified super people? super nukes?
User avatar #1707 to #1700 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
i just said. we have our special weapon but we need unity.

and america is dismantling middle east in order for that weapon not to work.
User avatar #1708 to #1707 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
What is your special weapon

Nukes? AMERICA WAS RIGHT
#1705 to #1700 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
ay i know. and taking the united states of Terrorism need a special strategy. we dont need nukes or guns. we dont need to go fly planes.

we have our own special weapon. a unique weapon have no run away with it. the only way to do it is unite.

and as you see america is dismantling us so we wont succeed with our plans
User avatar #1706 to #1705 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Even if you united I don't think you could

Look what happened with the war with Israel. And that was a small nation with American arms and with not full training
#1703 to #1700 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
you did read my last sentence?   
   
WE DONT SUPPORT IMPERIALISM. so we will leave spain alone unless if they attacked us   
   
and you know we have the full right to take over MURICA and take back palistine
you did read my last sentence?

WE DONT SUPPORT IMPERIALISM. so we will leave spain alone unless if they attacked us

and you know we have the full right to take over MURICA and take back palistine
User avatar #1704 to #1703 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You can take palistine but taking over murica is just doing what they are doing. Plus they say you attacked first with 9/11 and Saddam Hussein threatening using nuclear weapons. Its a total political *********** and honestly taking the high road would be better. Also there is NO ******* way you could take America by force. You couldnt get a person on a plane or boat before a tonne of drone guided missiles are down your throat

But you literally have no claim on Spain and saying it belongs to you and that you will spread the word of god is totally pointless if it is never going to happen.
User avatar #1701 to #1700 - syrianassassin ONLINE (12/09/2014) [-]
it is more retarded to let people go around their own filth. and also we are here to spread the word of god.

nothing can prevent us.

but here is the deal. we wont attack spain or go like imperialistic asshole, since my belief is anti-imperialism.

since we are only allowed to attack who attacked us now.
i think we will only take back Palestine and shut down america.
User avatar #1702 to #1701 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
"We are here to spread the word of god"

But if we took your government and spread the word of the christian god how do you think the public would take it?

The people in spain dont go around in their own filth at all and they do not ever ******* want to be ruled by a middle eastern nation you can guarantee that with 100% certainty
User avatar #1688 to #1687 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Do you have chavs though
User avatar #1658 to #1657 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
>party
>not playing progressive speed glam folk true metal
>meme arrows
User avatar #1659 to #1658 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
pick a song
User avatar #1660 to #1659 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
lil B - i think im based god
#1661 to #1660 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
more monkey music
User avatar #1662 to #1661 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
But hes based god

the bait has been taken
User avatar #1664 to #1663 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
oh my based god give me the swag to get through to this non believer

If based god isn't based god then how come he looks like bill gates?
#1665 to #1664 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 4**
is turtle a breadbasket
User avatar #1666 to #1665 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You miss typed absolutely based
User avatar #1667 to #1666 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 9**
is turtletroll a nutter
User avatar #1668 to #1667 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Cant you spell? its B A S E D
User avatar #1669 to #1668 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
* BONGED

aka stoned turtle
User avatar #1670 to #1669 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Bonged sounds like the british version of based

I am Bonged God
User avatar #1671 to #1670 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
007
James Bong
User avatar #1672 to #1671 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
i should get more tattoos. dress like lil b but makes songs about tea and rainy barbecues
User avatar #1673 to #1672 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
fuknchav
User avatar #1674 to #1673 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Thats it

Chavs are the white english version of *******

praise bonged god
User avatar #1675 to #1674 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
finally

got you to admit youre a fukn chav
User avatar #1676 to #1675 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You admitted that I am bonged god
User avatar #1677 to #1676 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
no i said youre james bong and you praised bonged god

and you submit to chavdom

fuknchav
User avatar #1655 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
how turtletroll and schnizel met

THE MEDIC - WW2 Short Film 11m
#1597 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
turtletroll confirmed chris barrie
turtletroll confirmed chris barrie
#1588 - konradkurze (12/02/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 5**
is turtletroll actually scott sterling
User avatar #1589 to #1588 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I am actually Winston Churchill
User avatar #1590 to #1589 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 8**
is turtletroll actually craig charles
User avatar #1591 to #1590 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Told you im Winston Churchill

*roll 4 8 ball*
User avatar #1592 to #1591 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 8**
is turtletroll actually Danny John-Jules
User avatar #1594 to #1592 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
See it wont tell you because everyone thinks im dead
User avatar #1595 to #1594 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 3**
is turtle actually chris barrie
User avatar #1596 to #1595 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 1**
is turtletroll actually chris barrie
User avatar #1598 to #1596 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
"most likely"

It's not a definite

Now ask it if i am Winston Churchill

Also is KonardKronze actually jewish? *roll 1*
User avatar #1599 to #1598 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 1**
is turtletroll actually arnold rimmer
User avatar #1600 to #1599 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Okay I admit it

Im actually Ice Cube
User avatar #1601 to #1600 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
a sellout failed rap singer?
User avatar #1721 to #1720 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
hmmm lets see how much Ice cube sold out

making friday and next Friday...2 ****** movies
User avatar #1722 to #1721 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
ICE T PLAYED A FURRY

TOO MUCH KEK
User avatar #1723 to #1722 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
yeah just keep beating your fists on the screen and pretending your rage somehow makes ice cubes weak career stronger

he'll still never be Ice T awesome
User avatar #1724 to #1723 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
I dont even think Ice cube is good

But still Ice T played a furry in one of the worst films ive ever seen after you said "hes not a sellout"

User avatar #1725 to #1724 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
you never saw tank girl did you

yeah it was a ****** australian movie...but then they dont have america's budget to play with.....and besides....Lori Pertty wearing skimpy clothes

hell id work in a ****** movie to see her dressing sexy
your turtle gayness could never understand feelings for women
User avatar #1726 to #1725 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
To be honest she was the only thing that kept it watchable and funny in a bad way
User avatar #1741 to #1726 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
havent seen GotG yet but looks promising

User avatar #1742 to #1741 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
Honestly its pretty great.

And after youve seen the film and how the soundtrack is almost another character in the film it makes the soundtrack so much better to listen to

I thought it would be bad because I saw Batista and Vin Diesel on the cast but they do good
User avatar #1739 to #1726 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
well i like keeping things true.....

nicholson was the best joker, kept more in line with the insane crime boss theme....sometimes crazy sometimes serious....ledger was more just an anarchist doing **** to **** with people

carrey....seriously getting a one trick pont circus clown actor to play the more serious riddler....the riddler has NEVER been a comical guy...hes always been aloof with a 'i know mroe than you, try and figure out my riddles...carrey turned him into a mental case turning everything into a funny riddle

and halle berry's movie...it was just the stereotypical "black girl gotta use sex appeal to get popular" and the ******* cat breathing magic to bring her back from the dead...the **** ?
User avatar #1740 to #1739 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
Jim Carrey was more of a joker character. Not that I would ever put him near that role.

And didn't you know that the cat that breathed on her was of the same dynasty as the cats the Egyptians worshiped? thats why he had his powers dummy I cant believe they thought that made sense

And to be honest Guardians of the Galaxy was a pretty great film. Didn't take itself seriously at all, was funny, well written, the characters were interesting and they weren't the typical heroes considering they were all thieves and shiet. And that soundtrack
User avatar #1737 to #1726 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
hey man...pfiffer was best catwoman
and thats another point

that halle berry movie catwoman was a ******* abomination

keaton was best batman...nicholson best joker...pfiffer best catwoman...devito best penguin

dragging clooney...kilmer...tommy lee jones. goddam JIM CARREY......seriously rubbing their ass on batman with them
User avatar #1738 to #1737 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
I ******* hate jim carrey

And no hate on pfeiffer shes a amazing actress but what I was saying is they just thought " ****** big names and a big source material and people will see it"

I liked Heath Ledger more but that could just be that he was written better than Nicholsons role in the movie

And holy shallaballa dick **** that catwoman movie. It's so bad it isnt even funny. It was like the most awkwardly made film ever
#1735 to #1726 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
to me...batman kinda died as soon as michael keaton said he wont do it anymore

clooney and kilmer pretty much killed it...and bale is like an apology for clooney and kilmer ******* it up

< as for superman
this **** needs to be in a movie
User avatar #1736 to #1735 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
Good lord I forgot about the Clooney batman movies.

Like damn they had arnold ************** , uma thurman and michelle pfieffer. They literally just went for big actors and expected that to make up for a bad plot line and shiet
User avatar #1733 to #1726 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
like seriously theres plenty of movies where they either have voice-overs talking to the viewers to help them understand points and a few where the characters talk to viewers

and who are critics...just people with opinions the same as you and i do so who are they to tell everyone to accept just THEIR opinions
pretty much just causing people who read their opinions to go in and watch movies with pre-conceived ideas about the movie before they even see it
User avatar #1734 to #1733 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
I've seen them give bad films great reviews and great films bad reviews

I saw ******* BATTLESHIP get 5 stars from professional critics

Everyone keeps asking for the same thing. I don't want another Christian Bale batman movie even though I know it would be a good film. And the new Spiderman movies arent great and holy **** the superman film was bad. We need something different for once with these super hero films. Like what if superman is forced to kill people? that would be interesting
User avatar #1731 to #1726 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
plus people need to get over their ******** against that 4th wall issue

so what if the movie characters talk to the viewers....its liike the movie you know...actually gives a **** what you think while watching it
User avatar #1732 to #1731 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
I hate it when critics complain about that

Sure its not funny when they make bad 4th wall jokes but that doesn't mean that it cant still be funny if its a part of the character

I couldnt imagine trying to take a deadpool or tankgirl movie seriously
User avatar #1729 to #1726 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
yeah but the others are beating dead horses of the classic **** "oh no matter what,. the good guy always wins and stays pure all the while"

BORING

bring on the anti-hero who gets **** done, even if it requires him to be evil fighting evil

superman / spiderman / iron man : hey theres a bad guy, we TOTALLY have to take him in alive because thats the right thing to do

Batman: i try to take them in alive but if **** happens they could die

Deadpool: lets **** **** up and giggle about it
User avatar #1730 to #1729 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
Couldnt agree more x1000

Batman is still better than Superman and Spiderman. They're far too clean and perfect.

Iron man is atleast greedy and cocky. Gives him something else

Deadpool is the film I really want to see
User avatar #1727 to #1726 - konradkurze (12/10/2014) [-]
tank girl could be remade if an american director was willing to spend out

i wish theyd remake queen of the damned....after usa made interview wit ha vampire...australia making the sequel a cheap piece of **** was a kick in the balls
User avatar #1728 to #1727 - turtletroll (12/10/2014) [-]
Yeah totally its got good base material for a really good and funny movie

I would definitely go see it if they remade it with a good budget

But its the same thing with deadpool. The actual thing its based on is good and can be good for a film but its not anywhere near as popular as batman, superman, ironman and spiderman so they would rather just put their money in that
User avatar #1602 to #1601 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I dont really like him but failed?

***** started NWA and is one of the biggest rappers around

But still yeah a sellout
User avatar #1603 to #1602 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
he'll never top Ice T
User avatar #1604 to #1603 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Ice T is okay but still Ice T best Ice
#1605 to #1604 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
you meant to say ice cube but your brain told you nuh-uh ice T is best ice
User avatar #1606 to #1605 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I meant Ice T is best Ice

I know i'm second to him but still im swimming in that film money
User avatar #1607 to #1606 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
sellout

you'll never have a rep like ice T

from badass to cop...singer and actor.....and with a hot wife
User avatar #1608 to #1607 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Still though who doesn't love today was a good day
User avatar #1654 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
U FUKN CHEEKY CHAV CUNT
User avatar #1656 to #1654 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Sorry P-Wiggy
User avatar #1652 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 5**
does turtle listen to lady gaga
User avatar #1653 to #1652 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
**turtletroll rolls 4** is kurze secretly a wigger and pretends to hate rap to cover it up
User avatar #1650 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 1**
is turtletroll even more gay than ************
User avatar #1651 to #1650 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I will neither confirm nor deny that

But most likely yes
#1648 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 4**
is turtletroll gay for schnizel
User avatar #1649 to #1648 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
You didn't need to ask the 8 ball

I could just tell you that I am
User avatar #1646 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
i thought you'd scream if i compared a bosnian to your "sacred england"
User avatar #1647 to #1646 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I would

I was testing you. Now I dont need to brand faggot on your forhead
User avatar #1644 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
here have a schnizel song

Kaiti Kink Ensemble - Under The Iron Sky
User avatar #1645 to #1644 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I thought he was Skrewdriver
#1643 to #1642 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Death grips have ascended beyond humanity
User avatar #1640 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
aka not rap

look at that....turtle speaking up for real music being consistent
User avatar #1641 to #1640 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Death Grips are one of the most experimental groups of the past 10 years of any genre

Metal sensibilities, punk aggression, occult themes, great lyrics, and a fusion of hip hop, industrial and noise

Its angry pagan excessive hobo rap
User avatar #1638 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
*sonic boom facepalm*

also said she had ups and downs
User avatar #1639 to #1638 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Mastodon has been pretty consistent

They have 2 classic metal albums and only one that wasnt great

And I cant believe I forgot Opeth. Easily the best metal band of the past 20 years
#1636 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
didnt i just say siouxsie was good
User avatar #1637 to #1636 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I'm kind of on the fence with that band

Some songs sound good to me others sound unintentionally cheesy
User avatar #1634 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
the only band i can say was consistent was Siouxsie,,....ups and downs as she went but still good
User avatar #1635 to #1634 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I was about to say Iron Maiden but the still have The X Factor

And the one we dont talk about...

I cant really think of any bands that have been consistently good for a long time
User avatar #1632 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
evolution doesnt always go well......rammstein for instance....they started off good then went downhill

i listen to their old stuff and mourn them
User avatar #1633 to #1632 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Still though at least they tried something

I would love motorhead to try something new. They've made the same album 24

Black sabbath have made some AWFUL albums. But their original music was created from doing somethign different
User avatar #1631 to #1630 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
They're a bad band you have to admit

Just because they have some good songs doesn't mean they are good

They haven't evolved as a bad at all. It's easy to do the exact same thing 100 times without every trying to innovate
User avatar #1628 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 4**
to grow up to adulthood, turtletroll needs to spend a week with:

1-2 Black Sabbath
3-4 Rammstein
5-6 ACDC
7-8 Metallica
9-0 Siouxsie and the Banshees
User avatar #1629 to #1628 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Materino i grew up on metal

Talking about bad music and mentions ACDC
User avatar #1626 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
all the while.....retards like snoop dog and lil wayne have millions of fans...while rappers like immortal technique who sing about **** that matters have fans measured in mere thousands
User avatar #1627 to #1626 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
That's what im talking about though

Still good stuff. Just because metal is full of the ******* awful metalcore/deathcore **** doesn't mean that the stuff which isn't popular is bad too
#1623 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
i aint reading that ****
youre not making ears AND eyes bleed today
User avatar #1625 to #1623 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Literally talks against the rap and gang culture and hes the only one saying some real **** that no one else in the public light has the balls to say

Saying why is it that black people haven't evolved is pretty brave
User avatar #1621 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
i think one song this week is enough earbleed for me

theres only 3 rap songs i can tolerate without my brain dissolving
User avatar #1624 to #1621 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
The term ‘real ******** is publicly used.
And I need to know what it means, cause I’m ******* confused.
Are you one? For always busting your tool, with nothing to lose, or something to prove, to homies up in your crew.
Is it because you selling drugs to get loot
And brag about how done been shot and stabbed, like it's fun to be you?
But your life’s a struggle right, you just hustling through.
Nah, you hamster ass ***** , you just stuck in the loop.
Man, why do black people got to be the only ones who can’t evolve.
Cause you in the streets acting like a Neanderthal.
It’s clear you can’t stand the law, you lost as an abandoned dog.
And all you interested in is fighting, rapping and basketball.
I can’t even **** with you.
Cause if we out in public you gon’ get caught stealing some **** and get my ass in trouble too.
You’ll get old and be nothing.
Living life in these streets thugging, and starting **** with anybody, mean mugging.
Look at you, a real *****
User avatar #1622 to #1621 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
When I say the word fun, what do you envision?
Probably drinking and smoking out with your crew and chilling with clueless women you try and bang, bumping new edition.
Is that all you think life really is?
Do you even have any goals?
Aside from bagging these hoes.
And packing a bowl.
Well let me guess, NO.
You’re only in school because your parents make you go.
When all you do is play beer pong and hang out with your bros.
Yo, society’s got you living for a whack cause.
You’re a ******* adult with no skills at all.
You don’t read any books or play ball.
You don’t draw, you literally do nothing at all.
Still you fiend for the glamorous fruits you don’t have, cause you idolize rappers that do.
And all they say is, ‘I got money and it’s stacked to the roof’.
And now you think that it’s gon’ magically just happen to you? How?
Your lazy ass don’t commit to labour.
You pick something up, try it out, and put it down two-minutes later.
Then you complain about your life cause it ain’t getting catered.
Now whoever tries to call you on your ************ a hater.
You want to succeed you have to try.
Or one day you’ll get older and regret it all cause you can’t provide.
Your friends are low-lives don’t act surprised.
Look, just cut the bad fruit off of the tree, make the sacrifice.
User avatar #1619 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
well it was hs fault for getting involved with a drug addict slut then wondering why **** went wrong....

plus rap music is mostly for little kids who like the poser image rappers take on
User avatar #1620 to #1619 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Well he was homeless for a long time and involved with drugs himself

Most rap is **** yeah but again there is good **** in there

Killer Mike - Dad was a cop and speaks against hating cops and talks about wanting to change laws and wants cops to be a part of the community

Hopsin - Talks against stoners, sluts and the gangster *****

Hopsin - ILL MIND OF HOPSIN 5

Listen to the lyrics
User avatar #1617 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
feminem is the kind of guy serious music lovers listen to a couple times then get bored with from his ********

plus the fact hes a woman beating asshole should kinda drop interest in him
User avatar #1618 to #1617 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Well considering she was a crack head and hit him times before and he hit her once and then apologized and said that he was so ashamed and rage took over

I can see how it would happen and she also cheated on him

Still though he can be pretty ******* hilarious
User avatar #1615 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
vanilla ice was a sad case of a whiteboy failing at rap like an early version of eminem
User avatar #1616 to #1615 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Eminem is actually good though

Vanilla Ice is essentially pop music in rap clothes
#1612 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
my ears.....
they bleed
User avatar #1614 to #1612 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
Just realized

Theres Ice Cube, Ice T and vanilla Ice

Any more Ice rappers
User avatar #1613 to #1612 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
I like the production

Lyrics are shiet
#1609 to #1608 - konradkurze (12/09/2014) [-]
never heard it
User avatar #1610 to #1609 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
that guitar line
User avatar #1593 to #1592 - turtletroll (12/09/2014) [-]
**turtletroll rolls 0**

Am I Winston Churchill
User avatar #1582 - konradkurze (12/01/2014) [-]
i see when youre not stoned, youre one angry ************


www.funnyjunk.com/London+traffic/movies/5369146/
User avatar #1583 to #1582 - turtletroll (12/01/2014) [-]
ain no cockney am i
User avatar #1584 to #1583 - konradkurze (12/01/2014) [-]
bollocks
youre a poncey little cockney chav matey
User avatar #1585 to #1584 - turtletroll (12/01/2014) [-]
i fakin sed i aint cockney didn I

fakin dopey cunt
User avatar #1586 to #1585 - konradkurze (12/01/2014) [-]
here
calm your tits to a cartoon song with a british character

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV0tADKZySY
User avatar #1587 to #1586 - turtletroll (12/01/2014) [-]
that voice acting

that 80s
User avatar #1576 - konradkurze (11/28/2014) [-]
i got Schnizel to write you a song

Skrewdriver white power
User avatar #1577 to #1576 - turtletroll (11/28/2014) [-]
Quite like that song

Even if it does sound like every other punk song ever
User avatar #1578 to #1577 - konradkurze (11/28/2014) [-]
did you hear
Schnizel and Syrianassassin made music together

funnyjunk.com/channel/fjparody/Schnizel+and+syrianassassin+music/wLLTLjY/
User avatar #1579 to #1578 - turtletroll (11/28/2014) [-]
Can't tell which one is snizel

both are kebabs
User avatar #1580 to #1579 - konradkurze (11/28/2014) [-]
the one on the right is Syrian....he told me hes lighter skinned
Schnizel on the drum
User avatar #1568 - konradkurze (11/27/2014) [-]
*slaps*
and i thought you stoners were meant to be open minded and think about how corrupt governments are....

do british stoners go the other way...convincing themslves governments are nice guyse
User avatar #1569 to #1568 - turtletroll (11/27/2014) [-]
Well we use our tin foil to make meth :^)

Silly germans wearing tin foil like hats
#1570 to #1569 - konradkurze (11/28/2014) [-]
us crazy?
im sorry,.WHO gave their entire army helmets that looks like UFO"s

the british
so scared of aliens they designed UFO helmets to protect their soldiers from mind control
User avatar #1571 to #1570 - turtletroll (11/28/2014) [-]
THAT'S SO THE ALIENS KNOW WE'RE ON THEIR SIDE

DO U EVEN KNOW HISTORY
User avatar #1572 to #1571 - konradkurze (11/28/2014) [-]
so you admit you believe in aliens

smoking the government weed huh turtletroll
#1573 to #1572 - turtletroll (11/28/2014) [-]
the gu'ment treet me right mmhmm   
   
gimin me dat fine weed
the gu'ment treet me right mmhmm

gimin me dat fine weed
User avatar #1574 to #1573 - konradkurze (11/28/2014) [-]
jolly good
the Tories gave me some rather spiffing marijuana and i shall endeavor to smoke it with all haste
User avatar #1575 to #1574 - turtletroll (11/28/2014) [-]
Top man

Nothing quite like a fine spot of smokey spleggings to jog the old bean eh
#1566 - konradkurze (11/23/2014) [-]
turtletroll and the spider
User avatar #1567 to #1566 - turtletroll (11/23/2014) [-]
how else would it get so high?
#1549 - konradkurze (11/20/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolled image**
how casual turtle is
User avatar #1551 to #1549 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
konradkurze rolled image oh so thats how you do it
#1553 to #1551 - konradkurze (11/20/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolled image**
how stoned turtle is
User avatar #1558 to #1553 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
*roll a picture*
#1559 to #1558 - konradkurze (11/20/2014) [-]
**konradkurze rolls 5**
will turtle be a casual for life
User avatar #1560 to #1559 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
*roll the magic 8 ball*

Will konradkurze tell me how to FJ?
User avatar #1562 to #1560 - konradkurze (11/20/2014) [-]
*facepalm*
go home turtle...youre stoned
User avatar #1564 to #1562 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
Wait I think I got it

*rolling image*

Did I do it.
User avatar #1563 to #1562 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
If i'm a stone are you saying I should roll home?
User avatar #1544 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
konradkurze in a nutshell *roll picture*
User avatar #1545 to #1544 - konradkurze (11/20/2014) [-]
^ found the casual
User avatar #1546 to #1545 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
*roll 2 numbers*
User avatar #1547 to #1546 - konradkurze (11/20/2014) [-]
*roll member*
User avatar #1548 to #1547 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
*roll a comment*
User avatar #1550 to #1548 - roll (11/20/2014) [-]
WHAT
User avatar #1552 to #1550 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
sorry I was trying to roll a picture

*turtletroll roll a picture*
User avatar #1554 to #1552 - roll (11/20/2014) [-]
roll picture has to come first
User avatar #1555 to #1554 - turtletroll (11/20/2014) [-]
*roll picture turtletroll*
User avatar #1556 to #1555 - roll (11/20/2014) [-]
lol
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