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thehornedking

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:12/24/2010
Last Login:4/25/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#17253
Highest Content Rank:#3456
Highest Comment Rank:#193
Content Thumbs: 3409 total,  3842 ,  433
Comment Thumbs: 30364 total,  33309 ,  2945
Content Level Progress: 4% (4/100)
Level 133 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 134 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 21.3% (213/1000)
Level 330 Comments: Practically Famous → Level 331 Comments: Practically Famous
Subscribers:7
Content Views:172369
Times Content Favorited:71 times
Total Comments Made:3954
FJ Points:34330

latest user's comments

#595 - 18 Male I go soft sometimes during sex and my fiancée…  [+] (6 new replies) 07/22/2014 on Feels thread, open your hearts +2
#741 - negerslaktarn (07/22/2014) [-]
more details about your fiancee? maybe share a few pics or so? i am really interested in yout fiancee
User avatar #622 - elcreepo (07/22/2014) [-]
Second problem is you haven't communicated the "it's not you, it sometimes goes down in times of nervousness/stress/cold/tiredness/not doing anything but eating you out for a few minutes."

Boners are like children, they need constant stimulation to keep up and even then they can go down.
User avatar #599 - User (07/22/2014) [-]
First problem is you're 18 and engaged.
User avatar #600 - thehornedking (07/22/2014) [-]
Fuck off, it's my life.
#632 - tomthehippie (07/22/2014) [-]
Ok first, tone down the rage.

Second, he's got a point. 18 years old is too young to get married. How long have you been dating her? A year or two? Have you lived together with her, in the same house, w/o roommates?

Living with someone is not like hanging out with them constantly. Most marriages that fail, fail in the first year because of conflicts integrating two lives together.

Third, your age (yet again), you are still maturing as a person, as is she. You are both going to change rapidly in the next few years as you do college/start working/get into the real world. Simply put, you two are not ready.
User avatar #602 - User (07/22/2014) [-]
No, we are suppose to talk about things here not tell each other to fuck off.
#64 - Shut up. 07/20/2014 on feels +1
#34 - I work at a grocery chain in the Southeast that has been aroun…  [+] (1 new reply) 07/07/2014 on Morning coffee in Honduras +1
User avatar #38 - thetallbeverage (07/07/2014) [-]
God, I've never had it that bad before. I do remember one time when one of our old Deli workers was told to make a sandwich we don't sell to a customer, and when she said we don't have the proper shit to do it, the guy yelled his lungs out "Well you little cunt you better get the god damn ingredients", and our old store director was standing right there. Slimy bastard didn't say a word to the customer.

Oh, and my favorite moment that personally happened to me was a tall biker type gentleman walked up to me with a stern demeanor, and just yelled "TATER TOTS", I was trying my hardest not to cry laughing while showing him our stuff.
#32 - Working retail is a rewarding experience in that I get to talk…  [+] (3 new replies) 07/07/2014 on Morning coffee in Honduras +1
#33 - thetallbeverage (07/07/2014) [-]
I actually really enjoy retail, I work the dairy department of a small grocery store chain from Wisconsin, that's been around since the 70's, so we have a ton of old customers that are regulars and most of the old ladies have been shopping there most of their lives, and they're all just too sweet.

But today; just today, I had 3 frat boy fucks running through my store singing Elmo's song and giggling like Elmo. I almost couldn't bear it. Almost.
User avatar #34 - thehornedking (07/07/2014) [-]
I work at a grocery chain in the Southeast that has been around since the 1930s. It has a large, loyal customer base and we tend to have a variety of customers that come through during the day (old folks in the morning, teens/20s/30s at night). Most days are easy when it comes to customers, but every one in a while you just want to cuss them out. One day we had a lady come in who was the rich, uptight, entitled type bitch that we've talked about. A Deli worker took a while getting her order ready and the lady started giving an attitude. It got nasty verbally until a manager got there and ended up siding with the worker. The woman went through the store cursing a people until she got to the register, at which point she accused the cashier of being on drugs because she was fatigued and mixed up the order of her greetings (she said "have a good day" instead of "how are you doing today?") Because company policy is to offer help out, I had to take this woman out to her car and unload her groceries while listening to how she was going to take her husband to Lakeland on her private plane to talk to the CEO and get our managers fired and if they weren't she was going to sue them and own the company. The entire time I was just nodding and agreeing with her while thinking "This bitch is crazy."
User avatar #38 - thetallbeverage (07/07/2014) [-]
God, I've never had it that bad before. I do remember one time when one of our old Deli workers was told to make a sandwich we don't sell to a customer, and when she said we don't have the proper shit to do it, the guy yelled his lungs out "Well you little cunt you better get the god damn ingredients", and our old store director was standing right there. Slimy bastard didn't say a word to the customer.

Oh, and my favorite moment that personally happened to me was a tall biker type gentleman walked up to me with a stern demeanor, and just yelled "TATER TOTS", I was trying my hardest not to cry laughing while showing him our stuff.
#12 - Directions not clear, accidently sent aid to the Taliban.  [+] (1 new reply) 07/07/2014 on Hi, I'm Chris Hansen... +1
User avatar #13 - skydiving (07/07/2014) [-]
Not even the dick-in-the-fan guy messed up that badly!
#10 - Fat woman: “Aren’t you open”? Al Bundy: “Sorry ma… 07/06/2014 on Did you miss me? 0
#2235 - No, Chris Young 07/06/2014 on in my ass 0
#1412 - Voices In My Ass  [+] (2 new replies) 07/05/2014 on in my ass +8
User avatar #2090 - dawdawdwa (07/05/2014) [-]
by disturbed?
User avatar #2235 - thehornedking (07/06/2014) [-]
No, Chris Young
#91 - No, he's just an asshole. 07/01/2014 on (untitled) 0
#112566 - Whats Fj's dip of choice? Im leaning toward Copenhagen Southern Blend.  [+] (2 new replies) 06/27/2014 on Social Board 0
User avatar #112568 - teoberry (06/27/2014) [-]
jk I barely dip because I produce a lot of spit so it's a bitch to dip, but idk cope mint or grizzly straight. also apparently southern blend was shit
User avatar #112567 - teoberry (06/27/2014) [-]
skoal berry of course :^)
#21 - Have a few shops in Florida. 06/24/2014 on I found pretty patties in... 0
#156 - mfw Some people think the holla course never happened 06/22/2014 on Compilation of complete... +6
#12 - A plague wiped out a good deal of humanity and the virus gives…  [+] (3 new replies) 06/21/2014 on Niggers +3
User avatar #13 - alalalalal (06/21/2014) [-]
seems legit
#27 - Penn (06/22/2014) [-]
Because a movie about apes taking over the planet is supposed to 'seem legit.'

How's that Harry Potter series you like so much. Seems legit hur dur
User avatar #37 - alalalalal (06/22/2014) [-]
right?
#2 - Comment deleted 06/21/2014 on Dog in Car 0
#11 - Meh, just hit them with a good sized stick and they lose inter… 06/16/2014 on wrong shore 0
#27 - The actual quote is "a guys tongue in your mouth..." 06/16/2014 on Breakfast Club Now +50
#325 - You've just made an enemy for life! 06/04/2014 on Tetris +3
#57 - Moes or delicious burrito. Choose one, because the two are inc… 06/03/2014 on Five Guys 0
#8 - I have a feeling Zach Braff is going to try and make a serious…  [+] (5 new replies) 05/23/2014 on Bald Spot -2
User avatar #15 - captinchikin (05/23/2014) [-]
He did one called "The High Cost of Living", it's on Netflix. I liked it, his acting was good.
#13 - stealthnull (05/23/2014) [-]
The number 23 was great
#12 - fefe (05/23/2014) [-]
He has a lot of serious scenes in Scrubs. That was the beauty of that show, it made you laugh when it wanted to but at any moment it could turn around and you'd be crying minutes later.
#10 - Bacabed (05/23/2014) [-]
Hasn't pretty much everything he's done besides Scrubs been serious?
#9 - fefe (05/23/2014) [-]
garden state...wish i was here...?
#20 - Pretty much. We can join our military and potentially die for …  [+] (1 new reply) 05/23/2014 on Simpler times 0
User avatar #21 - screaming (05/23/2014) [-]
Well Jesus Christ. I know that here you're allowed to drink at like, 16 (you're even legally able to go into participating pubs and order an alcoholic beverage as long as it's with a carvery or meal or some shit). 21 is way too high, especially when you can do pretty much everything else legally in your mid-late teens.
#8 - He even got the eye wart. Bravo. 05/21/2014 on Prison artist +1
#61 - Picture 05/21/2014 on For Science +11
#26 - In this guy's defense, most people who abstain from saying the…  [+] (16 new replies) 05/16/2014 on Punch dat nigga -87
#168 - alexanderh (05/17/2014) [-]
Well, to be fair, the pledge is unconstitutional. It is against the constitution for the US to promote a religion and give it different terms than others, and seeing as you mention the name of God, you're giving a select few religions different terms compared to, for example, hinduism.
#123 - furiousmarshmellow (05/17/2014) [-]
This is why people hate Americans.
#118 - fefe (05/17/2014) [-]
#112 - tedrocks (05/17/2014) [-]
I didn't say the pledge ever since like 7th grade but it has nothing to do with the god part(although I am an atheist). I just think it's a really weird concept if you actually think about it to say that you're going to serve some country every morning. I can't see how it accomplishes anything at all to say that, nobody ever is forced to make a decision then thinks "Oh wait, I can't do that because I pledged my allegiance this morning."
#83 - thelastelephant (05/16/2014) [-]
I eventually stopped saying the pledge of allegiance because I got sick of reciting it every goddamn morning.
User avatar #58 - xenoquack (05/16/2014) [-]
The minster will refer to people by their correct titles.
User avatar #52 - komandantmirkoo (05/16/2014) [-]
not an american myself but didn't you guys add that under god thing when communism became a big thing?
#164 - buddhistzilla (05/17/2014) [-]
Correct. It was added in the 1950's during The Red Scare to disassociate themselves with the "godless communists".
#35 - fredgregory (05/16/2014) [-]
I never said the pledge
I hate my own country as it is
And I hate religion
#140 - communistcentral (05/17/2014) [-]
good boy!
#126 - furiousmarshmellow (05/17/2014) [-]
#60 - Orc (05/16/2014) [-]
**Orc rolled image** Stop being so edgy. You'll poke your eye out, kid.
#28 - wbrehmer (05/16/2014) [-]
You, sir, are the cunt
User avatar #104 - OldSnake (05/16/2014) [-]
wbrehmer will refer to douchebags by their correct titles.
#69 - fefe (05/16/2014) [-]
sticky worthy
#76 - wbrehmer (05/16/2014) [-]
It's people like you that keep things from getting stickied
#13 - Except for the tumor that consumed her nose.  [+] (2 new replies) 05/12/2014 on Ohana means family 0
User avatar #43 - feolthenos (05/12/2014) [-]
Don't hawaiians have that general facial structure?
User avatar #19 - vampyrate (05/12/2014) [-]
Not to stereotype, but every Hawaiian person I've ever met has a large nose. I think it's just a race thing.
#17 - I agree. I am conservative but refuse to let fox news define m… 05/11/2014 on Enthusiasm 0
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#4 - dareposta (11/11/2012) [-]
do you want me to offer more stuff, or they're not for sale?
User avatar #5 to #4 - thehornedking (11/11/2012) [-]
not for sale. sorry bro
#6 to #5 - dareposta (11/11/2012) [-]
whyyyy?
#9 to #7 - dareposta (11/11/2012) [-]
okay. thx for considering :(
#8 to #7 - dareposta (11/11/2012) [-]
you really have no use for them, except if you collect items, and by the looks of it you don't :-), so can i please have them now?
#1 - fefe (06/13/2012) [-]
Kill yourself
#2 to #2 - thehornedking (06/13/2012) [-]
Meanwhile in your Mother's anus.
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