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syrenthra

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Date Signed Up:5/27/2012
Last Login:12/26/2014
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latest user's comments

#153098 - I held the door as in, after I went int the door I stood and l…  [+] (19 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
User avatar #153101 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
also, ignore dehumanizer completely. He's not as much of an asshole as he comes off to be, he's just had really, really shitty lucky with women. He's a nice guy, probably not one to take advice from though.
#153122 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
>nice guy

that i am
#153124 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Come on dehumanizer, you came to me once for help, and we had a good long talk. Why don't we catch up, and you tell me whats gone on in your life up until now and we see about me helping you out there bud?
#153125 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Thats because i have so many friends on this broad i cant really remember who you are just by usrename.
#153130 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
>Implying

Never said we were friends, said I've helped you before. Don't want the help, that's fine, that's on you. Don't drag others down with you though.
#153134 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Im jsut not sure which one of the "helpers" you are.
#153138 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Like I said, it's been quite awhile, so that's fine that you've forgotten, understandable even. Well, my offer to help or just listen will be on the table should you choose to take it, otherwise take it easy man.
#153139 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Well theres nothing that can really be said, nothing has changed really (or has it, depending on when the last time we talked was). Pritty chill atm but thats because im not exposed to any interactions with women.
User avatar #153140 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
It's been a few months, maybe a little less then half a year, last I hear from you, you were still trying for a girl or something, or wanting advice on how you could make yourself more known to her.

The way you sound nowadays, I'm not sure if you went for it and failed, or just never ended up pursuing her. You were bitter before, but now you sound legitimately pained, what ended up happening with the girl you loved?
#153141 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
could you be more persise about the exact month because last year up into march i was pritty ill over 1 then i gave up on her and enjoed a month of peace and happiness (april) then in may i kinda had a crush on a seccond girl that failed horribly
User avatar #153142 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Nah, can't remember the exact month, I'd assume it was the first crush you mentioned. So you've gone through her, then another, and the latest one ended horribly? What happened?
#153143 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Well actualy i've only had like 2 crushes since im kind of a loner and antisocial. The crushes themselves were really just desperate outbruts of loneliness. I now know that and even though i sometimes want a girlfriend i just dont really know what to do with her since i've been used to beeing on my own for the past twenty years.

Anyway last crush, girl from my univercity who i've befriended prior. After my mind was cleared of the first crush i guess i needed something else to grab on and since she was good looking i started liking her. We handged out a few times then i went all sperdo and confessed my feelings, she said she only liked me as a friend. Then i told her abuncha other feelsy shit i shouldnt have including how i cried alone after passing my exams, ayy lmao and then after that we hanged out a few other times and i tried more and she rejected me more n shit 4 times . Then i gave up on her and univercity ended and i retreated to my natural womanless habitat. Infact i dont go out in the day from fear of runing into crush 1. Other than that im pritty ok, i still feel for those girls but thats just out of loneliness. Anyways univercity starts and i'll have to meet crush 2 again and i will probably try more and get even more rejected n shit, I guess i should consider becoming a hermit or something.
#153148 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Why don't you try going after a different girl m8? You've tried with this one, time to move on, live and learn. You already came on to her pretty strong multiple times it sounds, need to learn to pull it back a little bud. When you're back at uni, don't go back to chasing the same girl who keeps turning you down, that's just asking to be sad. There are plenty of girls, some with low standards, if you really are that desperate. Try talking to some new ones, talking first, don't go around confessing your love.
#153151 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Fear, insecurity, bitterness and anti-socialness. Better be lonely than heartbroken.

Also Im just not the type of guy to start socialising with someone, thats really why i've had no gf and only two crushes, the girls interacted with me first earning my overattention. Its a closed cycle of faliure, i try to break it by beein even more of a loner and acting mean.
#153155 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Yea, rejection hurts too, but it's part of life. I know you don't want to really be a hermit, you really do want a gf. Obviously.

Hard to say you don't believe one will finally accept you when you've only chased two girls, and you just keep hurting yourself because you've already been rejected by your current one but keep trying. You need to stop, seriously. It's not gonna get any easier, you'll face rejection quite a bit, everyone does, it's unfortunately a part of life. For every gf I've had I was rejected by 4 or 5 other girls prior. It hurts, it sucks, but you deal with it and move on.

Right now you really need to back off of this current crush. If she's said no 4 different times, she won't change the 5th or 6th time. For someone so afraid of rejection, your current situation only allows rejection, and I know you can see that, I just don't know why you keep doing it to hurt yourself.

Move on to another girl, she rejects you? another, and so on and so forth. Or, I've never tried this but hey, whatever works, you could try a dating site. I hear those work occasionally, and what do you have to lose? Nothing, you have everything to gain bud. So put yourself back out there, stop with this crazy business with your current crush, and go try with another girl.

Unless you secretly like the rejection cycle you're in with this current girl, which then by all means ignore what I said and keep the rejection party going. Hey, maybe 4-5 unwelcome advances and you might even be so lucky as to get a pity date out of her, or, you know, her signature from a restraining order.
#153156 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Keep in mind i havent really seen that girl since july, just like i havent smoked since then. And even though i crave both ciggaretes and female love, in reality im really better off without them. Im afraid i'll return to both when univercity starts, or atleast just smoking.

As for having nothing to lose, thats the logic i had when going after my first crush knowing she loved her boyfriend. That kind of logic destroyed me.

As for the rejection cyle, well i guess i'll use smoking as a methaphore again. Since i cant get a proper cigarette (girlfriend) i am forced to get my nicotine (affection towards girls) from ciggarete butts (rejection cylcle).
#153152 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
"Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all."

No, it's not better to be lonely, trust me I know. Heartbreak really fucking hurts, I know that too, all too well. However man, all the rejection you'll feel, all the pain you go through, none of it matters anymore when you finally find one that accepts you. It makes all those failures nothing.

Somehow, you're gonna need to work on socializing. Have you tried a speech class before? I'm good with socializing and public speaking, but needed it for credits, in that class was a guy deathly afraid of socializing with anyone. By the end of the term, he could initiate conversations and hold them pretty well on his own. Really, it's as easy as walking up, introducing yourself and making small talk. Key things are your body language, and having something interesting to talk about at all times. Your body language can kill a conversation when it's barely begun, I don't know how well you know body language, but if you don't it's something I highly recommend looking into. Small talk is easy, just think of recent events that everyone seems to be talking about, and bring it up. Better then that, get the person to talk about themselves, everyone loves talking about themselves and usually won't shut up, so you just get to stand there and listen. When they're done, if you're interested you can ask them more questions about themselves that might have arisen from what they've said, or you can talk a little about yourself. Eye contact is important, as well as not slouching, if you do slouch, try not to do it to the point you look like you have something wrong with your back. When they talk, smiling and nodding when appropriate is also key.
#153154 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
But she never loved me back yet i was still very harbroken when she rejected me (first girl).

>finaly had the one that accepts you

yeah no i dont belive that, maybe its just a coping mechanism but i sencierly dont

Well i could socialise normaly but i just dont really want to its complicated, has to do with childhood abandontment issues, n shit as for socializing with girls that i like... well then it gets really bad.
User avatar #153103 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
gotcha
#1048565 - Oh that makes sense but I'm not one of the people that was bei… 09/05/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
#153096 - Yeah, I have already scraped it and plan to ask her to go for …  [+] (14 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... +1
#153099 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Just a heads up m8, you don't only get coffee at a coffee shop, they usually have other items you can pick from. Don't get coffee if you don't like it, just get something else, or when in doubt, just get water. It's not the drinks that are important, 95% of that dates success comes from you holding an *interesting* conversation with her. If you bore her, most girls will go to their phone, you don't want that. However, if you feel like she goes to her phone no matter what, scrap her, seriously, you don't want a girl who constantly lives and breaths on her phone. This is all, of course, if she's that type of girl, more of a precautionary warning for ya to look out for. You don't want to be the guy on a date with her who is cut off and ignored every two seconds because she looks at her phone or texts someone.

This may sound stupid, but I saw you mention you don't talk much/are shy it seems? Practice in front of a mirror, a ton of people dismiss this because they think it's dumb and doesn't work, it really, really does work. Pay attention to your body language, it. is. everything. Pay attention to her body language as well. It can mean the difference between knowing she's interested and knowing she wants the whole thing over. If you want advice on body language just ask, if not I'll assume you know that and skip it. Have conversation topics ready ahead of time, don't freak if one of or two of them flops, that's why you practiced. The advantage you have here is, from what you've told me, she smiles at you no matter what, even better, she smiles brighter when your down so as to kinda lift you up. That's a fantastic sign dude, seriously.

Just keep in mind, I know I'm repeating myself but only because it's important: Body....Language.....especially when you go to make small talk/ask her out to coffee. If you slouch, you need to stand up straight, but look comfortable. Eye contact, but not nonestop or you just look crazy.
User avatar #153102 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I know about the coffee thing, I also wanted to try to keep myself from ever going to starbucks on campus here, but if she chooses that then oh well for me.

I feel I'm pretty good with body language, I never really slouch and I'm usually pretty relaxed, and I think I do well with the eye contact too. If she does agree to go I think that just talking about college will keep it going since she is a freshman (or as they are supposed to be called First-years -_-). My biggest problem is almost always just getting the balls to actually say something first.
User avatar #153104 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Mmk. Well I recommended the coffee shop because it's a place to sit down and get to know each other better. If you know you both share a mutual interest in something else, you could take her to that instead, the key play here being no matter where you take her, you need to have that crucial talk to get to know her better. Her hopes, dreams, major, where she wants to go in life, what makes her happy/sad. If you're good at making people laugh, or just making her laugh, you'll get HUGE bonus points, if you can't or aren't the funny type, don't sweat it, just make sure you keep the conversation going. For the love of all things good, don't let awkward silence happen at all, avoid at all costs. It's not the end of the world if it happens once for a few moments, but if you get her talking through the entire thing and smiling you can count this a major success. also m8, don't be so quick to assume you're friendzoned if she turns down your offer for coffee or something. She could be legitametly busy, or going out for coffee doesn't appeal to her. In the event she says no, do NOT let it get you down, keep smiling, say okay and you'll talk later. Then, what you can do from that point on is try to run into her as much as you can, don't be like, stalker status, but try to run into her enough so you can have tidbits of small talk to get to know her without the date. That way, she'll be warming up to you, and after you feel you know her better and have thought of a better idea, you could ask her out again. Or, if you want, *after* having a few talks with her and getting to know her better, THEN you can fall back on your old plan to give her your number, I mean at that point what do you have to lose? Ideally, you'd want her to give you HER number, you rarely want to leave it to women unless you're almost positive she's interested and will text, but if she turned down the date and you got to know her after, then hey, go for it. Don't be like so many others here.
User avatar #153105 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Where you get one rejection and it's all "Fuck women, friendzoned again, blah blah whiney shit"
User avatar #153107 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Oh I don't blame them for the friendzone, I realize it is a place for guys that either get rejected and then just become friends with the girl instead or guys who think they are flirting but they are just friends and thus are stuck there. I don't use it as a bad thing, it is just a way to describe the status.

I plan to say something along the lines of "Would you like to go coffee or meet up somewhere to get to know each other this afternoon?" Or is that end part not a good choice?
#153108 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Nah man, that's perfectly fine. Just, when you say it, make sure to look and sound confident through and through. It really does effect it to some degree. Don't look down at your feet when asking her, instead make good honest eye-contact, initiate the smiling that you two seem to do, then smile throughout the entire thing (natural smile, don't fake it, you don't have to smile through it if you don't think it'll look right, but if you can then bonus points to you) and just ask her real nice and casual like. Your choice of words sound fine to me, so long as you don't like, studder or lower your voice as if you're frightened. If you say it clear and with confidence, then you got this on lock dude.

If she says yes, you're in m8!

If she says no, she'll probably go the route of something along the lines of "oh, I'd love to, but I have (enter whatever reason/excuse here) maybe another time?" If this occurs, don't drop your cool, keep it together, remain unfazed, or at least don't show it. Just agree and say something like "maybe another time then" and give a genuine smile, which she should return. Most importantly, don't beat yourself up over it if you go down this route. So many people on here get rejected, beat themselves up for it, then are afraid to approach girls again. It's not the end of the world I promise you. Like I said, even if she turns down your idea to go hang out at the coffee shop, you're not necessarily frienzoned or lost your chance. You just take a different route, in which you make small talk with her as much as you can whenever you run into her, that way you'll get to know her better and become better friends. Then you'll have another shot at in, you just need to be patient.

Win or Lose, don't lose faith in yourself my friend, plenty of other girls. I'm sure you'll do fine with this one, just keep your cool, keep the conversations fun and interesting, and you've got it in the bag!
User avatar #153109 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I'm not like the other guys who don't try anymore because of rejection, I'm been rejected like 6 or 7 times (mostly because I went about it in a pretty autistic way) but I've dealt with it and have learned from those mistakes, I just happened to always find a new one
User avatar #153112 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
(Cont. of my other reply) The long terms I've dated were 8/10, 9/10, 10/10, and 9/10. Rated on both beautiful and fantastic personalities. Loved every minute of it of each one. Like you though, I had to go through a LOT of rejections to get to those long term fantastic relationships, so it makes me happy to hear you won't be giving up even if things go south.
User avatar #153111 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Good man! I can't tell you how sad it is to see how many guys (and even sometimes girls) here give up and have their spirit crushed after a rejection or two. You don't give up, you keep trying with other people. You learn from your mistakes and use it on the next. You don't need to hear me say all this though, you just told me you already do that, and that's fantastic man, seriously props for you for breaking the mold. Just like you're doing now, there's also always someone you can turn to for advice or help if you need it. I'm helping you not just because I like helping people in general, but because I've been in your shoes a lot myself. I'm not the best looking guy, medium build, not fat, but I haven't worked out long enough (yet) to have that defined/chiseled look. I'd say, if I'm being honest, I'm maybe a 6/10 on an average day, 7/10 on a good day. However, making girls laugh comes very natural to me, and makes up for it a LOT. Women love a man who can make them smile and laugh. Not to sound like I'm bragging, just letting you know my own experience so you know you're not getting it from some kid whose never had a gf. I've had 4 Long term relationships, and 1 short. I don't like having short relationships, so I try my best to find a girl I think will stick around for awhile, hence why the number of girls I dated are so slow. Even though I've only dated 4 (5 including the short term) they were all fantastic relationships, shortest of the 4 was a year, longest was 2 1/2 years. They all ended on good notes, I'm friends with all my exs since there's no bad blood. The 5th, short term one was when I gave into peer pressure and went for this girl who was making obvious advances at me. Let me tell you, if a girl likes you, but you share nothing in common and she's just got outside beauty, she's really not worth it. We lasted a week before she broke up with me to chase like 2 other dudes, fine in my books, wasn't long enough to develop feelings.
User avatar #153113 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I have no idea where I would be on the scale, at the most 7/10, very likely a 6/10 but my main problem is that I am overweight. Not obese and like a bowling ball but my stomach is hard to miss, so that has usually killed my confidence and probably not helped with girls anyway. In anycase, I'm out to go to class, if I run into her today and something happens, will let you know
User avatar #153114 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Quick question before you go, how tall are you and how much weight? Just curious, I'm sure you're alright dude. Confidence is key above all else. If you don't want to say, don't sweat it. Good luck in your classes, and with the girl. Keep me posted and let me know if I can be of further help to you, I'm here if you should need me.
User avatar #153116 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
around 5'8" or so, pretty average and 270lb, do have some muscle so it isn't all fat. Something like this kid www.wellspringcamps.com/photos/P7300040.jpg , but bigger stomach and that is pretty much it. I really just need to exercise and I would probably be good since I've held this weight for like 3-4 years now
User avatar #153117 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
You're alright man, no worries just like I said, confidence is the make or breaking point. However you seem to be one of the few on this site I don't need to tell that to, despite being shy you've got some experience under your belt, rejection or not, still leagues ahead of a lot of these smucks. Go get her tiger, keep me updated, and don't worry if it doesn't work at first, just keep at it. Go for the gold my friend!
User avatar #153106 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Nah, you pick yourself up, be proud you worked up the confidence to do what most guys can't even do, and keep moving forward. So far, I've covered what to do in event of success and failure, body language, conversations, hmmm, anything else you would like to know or add?
#1048559 - I normally play attrition but I like LTS every so often as it …  [+] (2 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #1048562 - awesomedewd (09/05/2014) [-]
I heard the new game mode is currently the most played mode.
User avatar #1048565 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Oh that makes sense but I'm not one of the people that was being targeted with this game mode, I like the other game modes just fine
#153095 - Well she didn't see you so I doubt it was laughter. B…  [+] (23 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#153097 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Your story is the definition of autism, you held the door for her and you made smalltalk for like 30 secconds in the elevator. Yeah no she's only smiling back out of politeness, that doesent meen shit.

And why the fuck are you beeing a scardy bitch and not just giving her your number directly instead of using deceit? It will only be more more cringeworthy when she sees your number and shots you down. Do you even know if she's available?
User avatar #153100 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
dehumanizer, don't be fucked up to this dude, I'm back man and willing to help you too, or at least listen if you want someone to listen again. I was having some serious medical issues but I'm back and ready to help again, I've offered you advice once, and am more then willing to help as much as you need.
#153120 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
YOURE NOT TAKING ME IN WITHOUT A FIGHT.
User avatar #153098 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I held the door as in, after I went int the door I stood and left it open for her to grab because she was 3 feet behind me, I didn't stand and let her go in first.

The reason why is because I suck at this shit, I'm not socially awkward enough to be like the ones we read about here, but I am awkward when it comes to this stuff. I'm still trying to get the hang of this shit and unlike you, the others have given me helpful ways to do so.

No, I don't know if she is available, but I have reasons to believe she is, and even if she isn't, oh well, either I get friendzoned because I can't go any further or nothing happens, isn't that normal?
User avatar #153101 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
also, ignore dehumanizer completely. He's not as much of an asshole as he comes off to be, he's just had really, really shitty lucky with women. He's a nice guy, probably not one to take advice from though.
#153122 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
>nice guy

that i am
#153124 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Come on dehumanizer, you came to me once for help, and we had a good long talk. Why don't we catch up, and you tell me whats gone on in your life up until now and we see about me helping you out there bud?
#153125 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Thats because i have so many friends on this broad i cant really remember who you are just by usrename.
#153130 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
>Implying

Never said we were friends, said I've helped you before. Don't want the help, that's fine, that's on you. Don't drag others down with you though.
#153134 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Im jsut not sure which one of the "helpers" you are.
#153138 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Like I said, it's been quite awhile, so that's fine that you've forgotten, understandable even. Well, my offer to help or just listen will be on the table should you choose to take it, otherwise take it easy man.
#153139 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Well theres nothing that can really be said, nothing has changed really (or has it, depending on when the last time we talked was). Pritty chill atm but thats because im not exposed to any interactions with women.
User avatar #153140 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
It's been a few months, maybe a little less then half a year, last I hear from you, you were still trying for a girl or something, or wanting advice on how you could make yourself more known to her.

The way you sound nowadays, I'm not sure if you went for it and failed, or just never ended up pursuing her. You were bitter before, but now you sound legitimately pained, what ended up happening with the girl you loved?
#153141 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
could you be more persise about the exact month because last year up into march i was pritty ill over 1 then i gave up on her and enjoed a month of peace and happiness (april) then in may i kinda had a crush on a seccond girl that failed horribly
User avatar #153142 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Nah, can't remember the exact month, I'd assume it was the first crush you mentioned. So you've gone through her, then another, and the latest one ended horribly? What happened?
#153143 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Well actualy i've only had like 2 crushes since im kind of a loner and antisocial. The crushes themselves were really just desperate outbruts of loneliness. I now know that and even though i sometimes want a girlfriend i just dont really know what to do with her since i've been used to beeing on my own for the past twenty years.

Anyway last crush, girl from my univercity who i've befriended prior. After my mind was cleared of the first crush i guess i needed something else to grab on and since she was good looking i started liking her. We handged out a few times then i went all sperdo and confessed my feelings, she said she only liked me as a friend. Then i told her abuncha other feelsy shit i shouldnt have including how i cried alone after passing my exams, ayy lmao and then after that we hanged out a few other times and i tried more and she rejected me more n shit 4 times . Then i gave up on her and univercity ended and i retreated to my natural womanless habitat. Infact i dont go out in the day from fear of runing into crush 1. Other than that im pritty ok, i still feel for those girls but thats just out of loneliness. Anyways univercity starts and i'll have to meet crush 2 again and i will probably try more and get even more rejected n shit, I guess i should consider becoming a hermit or something.
#153148 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Why don't you try going after a different girl m8? You've tried with this one, time to move on, live and learn. You already came on to her pretty strong multiple times it sounds, need to learn to pull it back a little bud. When you're back at uni, don't go back to chasing the same girl who keeps turning you down, that's just asking to be sad. There are plenty of girls, some with low standards, if you really are that desperate. Try talking to some new ones, talking first, don't go around confessing your love.
#153151 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Fear, insecurity, bitterness and anti-socialness. Better be lonely than heartbroken.

Also Im just not the type of guy to start socialising with someone, thats really why i've had no gf and only two crushes, the girls interacted with me first earning my overattention. Its a closed cycle of faliure, i try to break it by beein even more of a loner and acting mean.
#153155 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Yea, rejection hurts too, but it's part of life. I know you don't want to really be a hermit, you really do want a gf. Obviously.

Hard to say you don't believe one will finally accept you when you've only chased two girls, and you just keep hurting yourself because you've already been rejected by your current one but keep trying. You need to stop, seriously. It's not gonna get any easier, you'll face rejection quite a bit, everyone does, it's unfortunately a part of life. For every gf I've had I was rejected by 4 or 5 other girls prior. It hurts, it sucks, but you deal with it and move on.

Right now you really need to back off of this current crush. If she's said no 4 different times, she won't change the 5th or 6th time. For someone so afraid of rejection, your current situation only allows rejection, and I know you can see that, I just don't know why you keep doing it to hurt yourself.

Move on to another girl, she rejects you? another, and so on and so forth. Or, I've never tried this but hey, whatever works, you could try a dating site. I hear those work occasionally, and what do you have to lose? Nothing, you have everything to gain bud. So put yourself back out there, stop with this crazy business with your current crush, and go try with another girl.

Unless you secretly like the rejection cycle you're in with this current girl, which then by all means ignore what I said and keep the rejection party going. Hey, maybe 4-5 unwelcome advances and you might even be so lucky as to get a pity date out of her, or, you know, her signature from a restraining order.
#153156 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Keep in mind i havent really seen that girl since july, just like i havent smoked since then. And even though i crave both ciggaretes and female love, in reality im really better off without them. Im afraid i'll return to both when univercity starts, or atleast just smoking.

As for having nothing to lose, thats the logic i had when going after my first crush knowing she loved her boyfriend. That kind of logic destroyed me.

As for the rejection cyle, well i guess i'll use smoking as a methaphore again. Since i cant get a proper cigarette (girlfriend) i am forced to get my nicotine (affection towards girls) from ciggarete butts (rejection cylcle).
#153152 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
"Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all."

No, it's not better to be lonely, trust me I know. Heartbreak really fucking hurts, I know that too, all too well. However man, all the rejection you'll feel, all the pain you go through, none of it matters anymore when you finally find one that accepts you. It makes all those failures nothing.

Somehow, you're gonna need to work on socializing. Have you tried a speech class before? I'm good with socializing and public speaking, but needed it for credits, in that class was a guy deathly afraid of socializing with anyone. By the end of the term, he could initiate conversations and hold them pretty well on his own. Really, it's as easy as walking up, introducing yourself and making small talk. Key things are your body language, and having something interesting to talk about at all times. Your body language can kill a conversation when it's barely begun, I don't know how well you know body language, but if you don't it's something I highly recommend looking into. Small talk is easy, just think of recent events that everyone seems to be talking about, and bring it up. Better then that, get the person to talk about themselves, everyone loves talking about themselves and usually won't shut up, so you just get to stand there and listen. When they're done, if you're interested you can ask them more questions about themselves that might have arisen from what they've said, or you can talk a little about yourself. Eye contact is important, as well as not slouching, if you do slouch, try not to do it to the point you look like you have something wrong with your back. When they talk, smiling and nodding when appropriate is also key.
#153154 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
But she never loved me back yet i was still very harbroken when she rejected me (first girl).

>finaly had the one that accepts you

yeah no i dont belive that, maybe its just a coping mechanism but i sencierly dont

Well i could socialise normaly but i just dont really want to its complicated, has to do with childhood abandontment issues, n shit as for socializing with girls that i like... well then it gets really bad.
User avatar #153103 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
gotcha
#153071 - now to hope I actually see her tomorrow at a convenient time, …  [+] (12 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
User avatar #153072 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
there yo go!!

stay positive man
User avatar #153888 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, if you still care about this I was able to finally talk to her and got her name, didn't ask her to coffee and unless I am reading things wrong, she seems to be actually showing interest
User avatar #153890 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
maaaah man!

that sounds great man, good to know you actually asked her!
man aske her out to get some luch or something bro! she wants the D
User avatar #153891 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Next time I see her I plan to ask her to meet up for something, I kinda chickened out and didn't really feel it was a good time to ask her when we talked today but either way, progress
User avatar #153892 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
did you atleast get her number?? if you didnt water you waiting for ese? ask her out man, just say "hey could i take you out to get some lunch? its on me. wanna get to know you more"
User avatar #153893 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
I only got her name earlier, like I said, next time I see her I plan to ask her somewhere
User avatar #153894 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
dont be so late, never know someone else is out there trying to get at her aswll. so dont wait up brochacho
User avatar #153895 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, today was the first time I saw her since last week and there really is no way for me to increase the chances of seeing her so believe me, I'm trying
#153995 - saltybanana (09/10/2014) [-]
alright brotha good luck, you'll get her i believe in you
User avatar #154718 - syrenthra (09/15/2014) [-]
Well we went to coffee today, not sure what is going to happen but I accomplished my mission
User avatar #154838 - saltybanana (09/15/2014) [-]
did you get her number this time????
#154014 - syrenthra (09/10/2014) [-]
Thanks man
#153070 - For me, doing the number on paper is pretty big difference tha… 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#153068 - I think too much about this **** , doesn't matter …  [+] (14 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
User avatar #153069 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
got nothing to lose
User avatar #153071 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
now to hope I actually see her tomorrow at a convenient time, like coming back from breakfast so I can ask her to lunch
User avatar #153072 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
there yo go!!

stay positive man
User avatar #153888 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, if you still care about this I was able to finally talk to her and got her name, didn't ask her to coffee and unless I am reading things wrong, she seems to be actually showing interest
User avatar #153890 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
maaaah man!

that sounds great man, good to know you actually asked her!
man aske her out to get some luch or something bro! she wants the D
User avatar #153891 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Next time I see her I plan to ask her to meet up for something, I kinda chickened out and didn't really feel it was a good time to ask her when we talked today but either way, progress
User avatar #153892 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
did you atleast get her number?? if you didnt water you waiting for ese? ask her out man, just say "hey could i take you out to get some lunch? its on me. wanna get to know you more"
User avatar #153893 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
I only got her name earlier, like I said, next time I see her I plan to ask her somewhere
User avatar #153894 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
dont be so late, never know someone else is out there trying to get at her aswll. so dont wait up brochacho
User avatar #153895 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, today was the first time I saw her since last week and there really is no way for me to increase the chances of seeing her so believe me, I'm trying
#153995 - saltybanana (09/10/2014) [-]
alright brotha good luck, you'll get her i believe in you
User avatar #154718 - syrenthra (09/15/2014) [-]
Well we went to coffee today, not sure what is going to happen but I accomplished my mission
User avatar #154838 - saltybanana (09/15/2014) [-]
did you get her number this time????
#154014 - syrenthra (09/10/2014) [-]
Thanks man
#153064 - god damnit, if the emperor is telling me I should go for it, I…  [+] (16 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#153066 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
it wont be bad, your asking her for her number. not go out with you man. start slow. be friends, get close. and den maybe just maaaaybe youll get rejected im kidding maybe you guys will go out

i got high hopes for you ese. make me proud
User avatar #153068 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I think too much about this shit, doesn't matter who it is, it always comes up with me of what would happen if it goes badly, and in this case, nothing is really affected since I don't see her other than in the dorm sometimes
User avatar #153069 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
got nothing to lose
User avatar #153071 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
now to hope I actually see her tomorrow at a convenient time, like coming back from breakfast so I can ask her to lunch
User avatar #153072 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
there yo go!!

stay positive man
User avatar #153888 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, if you still care about this I was able to finally talk to her and got her name, didn't ask her to coffee and unless I am reading things wrong, she seems to be actually showing interest
User avatar #153890 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
maaaah man!

that sounds great man, good to know you actually asked her!
man aske her out to get some luch or something bro! she wants the D
User avatar #153891 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Next time I see her I plan to ask her to meet up for something, I kinda chickened out and didn't really feel it was a good time to ask her when we talked today but either way, progress
User avatar #153892 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
did you atleast get her number?? if you didnt water you waiting for ese? ask her out man, just say "hey could i take you out to get some lunch? its on me. wanna get to know you more"
User avatar #153893 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
I only got her name earlier, like I said, next time I see her I plan to ask her somewhere
User avatar #153894 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
dont be so late, never know someone else is out there trying to get at her aswll. so dont wait up brochacho
User avatar #153895 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, today was the first time I saw her since last week and there really is no way for me to increase the chances of seeing her so believe me, I'm trying
#153995 - saltybanana (09/10/2014) [-]
alright brotha good luck, you'll get her i believe in you
User avatar #154718 - syrenthra (09/15/2014) [-]
Well we went to coffee today, not sure what is going to happen but I accomplished my mission
User avatar #154838 - saltybanana (09/15/2014) [-]
did you get her number this time????
#154014 - syrenthra (09/10/2014) [-]
Thanks man
#153063 - Yeah, I'm not that great socially so that is why trying it whe…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
User avatar #153067 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
dude its always good to try something new. my pops always told me "being the ridiculous is what makes you achieve"

fucking works all the time.
User avatar #153070 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
For me, doing the number on paper is pretty big difference than how I normally do it.
#153060 - jesus christ the beginning of that was ****** , wh…  [+] (18 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#153062 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
dude im pretty sure she'll giev you her number, if she loves to smile at you.
just do it
User avatar #153064 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
god damnit, if the emperor is telling me I should go for it, I really have nothing to lose considering I don't have any classes with her and it going awkward with her wouldn't affect anything, just another rejection mark on the wall
#153066 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
it wont be bad, your asking her for her number. not go out with you man. start slow. be friends, get close. and den maybe just maaaaybe youll get rejected im kidding maybe you guys will go out

i got high hopes for you ese. make me proud
User avatar #153068 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I think too much about this shit, doesn't matter who it is, it always comes up with me of what would happen if it goes badly, and in this case, nothing is really affected since I don't see her other than in the dorm sometimes
User avatar #153069 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
got nothing to lose
User avatar #153071 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
now to hope I actually see her tomorrow at a convenient time, like coming back from breakfast so I can ask her to lunch
User avatar #153072 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
there yo go!!

stay positive man
User avatar #153888 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, if you still care about this I was able to finally talk to her and got her name, didn't ask her to coffee and unless I am reading things wrong, she seems to be actually showing interest
User avatar #153890 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
maaaah man!

that sounds great man, good to know you actually asked her!
man aske her out to get some luch or something bro! she wants the D
User avatar #153891 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Next time I see her I plan to ask her to meet up for something, I kinda chickened out and didn't really feel it was a good time to ask her when we talked today but either way, progress
User avatar #153892 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
did you atleast get her number?? if you didnt water you waiting for ese? ask her out man, just say "hey could i take you out to get some lunch? its on me. wanna get to know you more"
User avatar #153893 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
I only got her name earlier, like I said, next time I see her I plan to ask her somewhere
User avatar #153894 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
dont be so late, never know someone else is out there trying to get at her aswll. so dont wait up brochacho
User avatar #153895 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, today was the first time I saw her since last week and there really is no way for me to increase the chances of seeing her so believe me, I'm trying
#153995 - saltybanana (09/10/2014) [-]
alright brotha good luck, you'll get her i believe in you
User avatar #154718 - syrenthra (09/15/2014) [-]
Well we went to coffee today, not sure what is going to happen but I accomplished my mission
User avatar #154838 - saltybanana (09/15/2014) [-]
did you get her number this time????
#154014 - syrenthra (09/10/2014) [-]
Thanks man
#153059 - Problem is only the first time have I really be able to talk t…  [+] (23 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
User avatar #153061 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
hmmmm well thats a tough one.

just stop her one day, when you see her walking causal like when you think shes not in a hurry and just be like "hey can i get your digits gurl number?"

if not just go up to her when passing and just ask for her number.
User avatar #153063 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Yeah, I'm not that great socially so that is why trying it when it is not best situation for me is going to be hard, especially when I don't know I will see her. So you see why doing the number on paper would be an option I came up with
User avatar #153067 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
dude its always good to try something new. my pops always told me "being the ridiculous is what makes you achieve"

fucking works all the time.
User avatar #153070 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
For me, doing the number on paper is pretty big difference than how I normally do it.
User avatar #153060 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
jesus christ the beginning of that was fucked, what I meant is, so far the only time we were alone and talking was the first time
#153062 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
dude im pretty sure she'll giev you her number, if she loves to smile at you.
just do it
User avatar #153064 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
god damnit, if the emperor is telling me I should go for it, I really have nothing to lose considering I don't have any classes with her and it going awkward with her wouldn't affect anything, just another rejection mark on the wall
#153066 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
it wont be bad, your asking her for her number. not go out with you man. start slow. be friends, get close. and den maybe just maaaaybe youll get rejected im kidding maybe you guys will go out

i got high hopes for you ese. make me proud
User avatar #153068 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I think too much about this shit, doesn't matter who it is, it always comes up with me of what would happen if it goes badly, and in this case, nothing is really affected since I don't see her other than in the dorm sometimes
User avatar #153069 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
got nothing to lose
User avatar #153071 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
now to hope I actually see her tomorrow at a convenient time, like coming back from breakfast so I can ask her to lunch
User avatar #153072 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
there yo go!!

stay positive man
User avatar #153888 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, if you still care about this I was able to finally talk to her and got her name, didn't ask her to coffee and unless I am reading things wrong, she seems to be actually showing interest
User avatar #153890 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
maaaah man!

that sounds great man, good to know you actually asked her!
man aske her out to get some luch or something bro! she wants the D
User avatar #153891 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Next time I see her I plan to ask her to meet up for something, I kinda chickened out and didn't really feel it was a good time to ask her when we talked today but either way, progress
User avatar #153892 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
did you atleast get her number?? if you didnt water you waiting for ese? ask her out man, just say "hey could i take you out to get some lunch? its on me. wanna get to know you more"
User avatar #153893 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
I only got her name earlier, like I said, next time I see her I plan to ask her somewhere
User avatar #153894 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
dont be so late, never know someone else is out there trying to get at her aswll. so dont wait up brochacho
User avatar #153895 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, today was the first time I saw her since last week and there really is no way for me to increase the chances of seeing her so believe me, I'm trying
#153995 - saltybanana (09/10/2014) [-]
alright brotha good luck, you'll get her i believe in you
User avatar #154718 - syrenthra (09/15/2014) [-]
Well we went to coffee today, not sure what is going to happen but I accomplished my mission
User avatar #154838 - saltybanana (09/15/2014) [-]
did you get her number this time????
#154014 - syrenthra (09/10/2014) [-]
Thanks man
#153054 - Okay, so I got a question for you all of what you think of a p…  [+] (70 new replies) 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#153091 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Maybe she wasnt smiling but trying to hold her laughter?
User avatar #153095 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Well she didn't see you so I doubt it was laughter.

But seriously, its just an idea I came up with that seemed to work given the circumstances that I don't see her much when I would be able to actually talk to her, just a few random times when we happen to be coming or going to the dorm.
#153097 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Your story is the definition of autism, you held the door for her and you made smalltalk for like 30 secconds in the elevator. Yeah no she's only smiling back out of politeness, that doesent meen shit.

And why the fuck are you beeing a scardy bitch and not just giving her your number directly instead of using deceit? It will only be more more cringeworthy when she sees your number and shots you down. Do you even know if she's available?
User avatar #153100 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
dehumanizer, don't be fucked up to this dude, I'm back man and willing to help you too, or at least listen if you want someone to listen again. I was having some serious medical issues but I'm back and ready to help again, I've offered you advice once, and am more then willing to help as much as you need.
#153120 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
YOURE NOT TAKING ME IN WITHOUT A FIGHT.
User avatar #153098 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I held the door as in, after I went int the door I stood and left it open for her to grab because she was 3 feet behind me, I didn't stand and let her go in first.

The reason why is because I suck at this shit, I'm not socially awkward enough to be like the ones we read about here, but I am awkward when it comes to this stuff. I'm still trying to get the hang of this shit and unlike you, the others have given me helpful ways to do so.

No, I don't know if she is available, but I have reasons to believe she is, and even if she isn't, oh well, either I get friendzoned because I can't go any further or nothing happens, isn't that normal?
User avatar #153101 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
also, ignore dehumanizer completely. He's not as much of an asshole as he comes off to be, he's just had really, really shitty lucky with women. He's a nice guy, probably not one to take advice from though.
#153122 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
>nice guy

that i am
#153124 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Come on dehumanizer, you came to me once for help, and we had a good long talk. Why don't we catch up, and you tell me whats gone on in your life up until now and we see about me helping you out there bud?
#153125 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Thats because i have so many friends on this broad i cant really remember who you are just by usrename.
#153130 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
>Implying

Never said we were friends, said I've helped you before. Don't want the help, that's fine, that's on you. Don't drag others down with you though.
#153134 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Im jsut not sure which one of the "helpers" you are.
#153138 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Like I said, it's been quite awhile, so that's fine that you've forgotten, understandable even. Well, my offer to help or just listen will be on the table should you choose to take it, otherwise take it easy man.
#153139 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Well theres nothing that can really be said, nothing has changed really (or has it, depending on when the last time we talked was). Pritty chill atm but thats because im not exposed to any interactions with women.
User avatar #153140 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
It's been a few months, maybe a little less then half a year, last I hear from you, you were still trying for a girl or something, or wanting advice on how you could make yourself more known to her.

The way you sound nowadays, I'm not sure if you went for it and failed, or just never ended up pursuing her. You were bitter before, but now you sound legitimately pained, what ended up happening with the girl you loved?
#153141 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
could you be more persise about the exact month because last year up into march i was pritty ill over 1 then i gave up on her and enjoed a month of peace and happiness (april) then in may i kinda had a crush on a seccond girl that failed horribly
User avatar #153142 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Nah, can't remember the exact month, I'd assume it was the first crush you mentioned. So you've gone through her, then another, and the latest one ended horribly? What happened?
#153143 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Well actualy i've only had like 2 crushes since im kind of a loner and antisocial. The crushes themselves were really just desperate outbruts of loneliness. I now know that and even though i sometimes want a girlfriend i just dont really know what to do with her since i've been used to beeing on my own for the past twenty years.

Anyway last crush, girl from my univercity who i've befriended prior. After my mind was cleared of the first crush i guess i needed something else to grab on and since she was good looking i started liking her. We handged out a few times then i went all sperdo and confessed my feelings, she said she only liked me as a friend. Then i told her abuncha other feelsy shit i shouldnt have including how i cried alone after passing my exams, ayy lmao and then after that we hanged out a few other times and i tried more and she rejected me more n shit 4 times . Then i gave up on her and univercity ended and i retreated to my natural womanless habitat. Infact i dont go out in the day from fear of runing into crush 1. Other than that im pritty ok, i still feel for those girls but thats just out of loneliness. Anyways univercity starts and i'll have to meet crush 2 again and i will probably try more and get even more rejected n shit, I guess i should consider becoming a hermit or something.
#153148 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Why don't you try going after a different girl m8? You've tried with this one, time to move on, live and learn. You already came on to her pretty strong multiple times it sounds, need to learn to pull it back a little bud. When you're back at uni, don't go back to chasing the same girl who keeps turning you down, that's just asking to be sad. There are plenty of girls, some with low standards, if you really are that desperate. Try talking to some new ones, talking first, don't go around confessing your love.
#153151 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Fear, insecurity, bitterness and anti-socialness. Better be lonely than heartbroken.

Also Im just not the type of guy to start socialising with someone, thats really why i've had no gf and only two crushes, the girls interacted with me first earning my overattention. Its a closed cycle of faliure, i try to break it by beein even more of a loner and acting mean.
#153155 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Yea, rejection hurts too, but it's part of life. I know you don't want to really be a hermit, you really do want a gf. Obviously.

Hard to say you don't believe one will finally accept you when you've only chased two girls, and you just keep hurting yourself because you've already been rejected by your current one but keep trying. You need to stop, seriously. It's not gonna get any easier, you'll face rejection quite a bit, everyone does, it's unfortunately a part of life. For every gf I've had I was rejected by 4 or 5 other girls prior. It hurts, it sucks, but you deal with it and move on.

Right now you really need to back off of this current crush. If she's said no 4 different times, she won't change the 5th or 6th time. For someone so afraid of rejection, your current situation only allows rejection, and I know you can see that, I just don't know why you keep doing it to hurt yourself.

Move on to another girl, she rejects you? another, and so on and so forth. Or, I've never tried this but hey, whatever works, you could try a dating site. I hear those work occasionally, and what do you have to lose? Nothing, you have everything to gain bud. So put yourself back out there, stop with this crazy business with your current crush, and go try with another girl.

Unless you secretly like the rejection cycle you're in with this current girl, which then by all means ignore what I said and keep the rejection party going. Hey, maybe 4-5 unwelcome advances and you might even be so lucky as to get a pity date out of her, or, you know, her signature from a restraining order.
#153156 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
Keep in mind i havent really seen that girl since july, just like i havent smoked since then. And even though i crave both ciggaretes and female love, in reality im really better off without them. Im afraid i'll return to both when univercity starts, or atleast just smoking.

As for having nothing to lose, thats the logic i had when going after my first crush knowing she loved her boyfriend. That kind of logic destroyed me.

As for the rejection cyle, well i guess i'll use smoking as a methaphore again. Since i cant get a proper cigarette (girlfriend) i am forced to get my nicotine (affection towards girls) from ciggarete butts (rejection cylcle).
#153152 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
"Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all."

No, it's not better to be lonely, trust me I know. Heartbreak really fucking hurts, I know that too, all too well. However man, all the rejection you'll feel, all the pain you go through, none of it matters anymore when you finally find one that accepts you. It makes all those failures nothing.

Somehow, you're gonna need to work on socializing. Have you tried a speech class before? I'm good with socializing and public speaking, but needed it for credits, in that class was a guy deathly afraid of socializing with anyone. By the end of the term, he could initiate conversations and hold them pretty well on his own. Really, it's as easy as walking up, introducing yourself and making small talk. Key things are your body language, and having something interesting to talk about at all times. Your body language can kill a conversation when it's barely begun, I don't know how well you know body language, but if you don't it's something I highly recommend looking into. Small talk is easy, just think of recent events that everyone seems to be talking about, and bring it up. Better then that, get the person to talk about themselves, everyone loves talking about themselves and usually won't shut up, so you just get to stand there and listen. When they're done, if you're interested you can ask them more questions about themselves that might have arisen from what they've said, or you can talk a little about yourself. Eye contact is important, as well as not slouching, if you do slouch, try not to do it to the point you look like you have something wrong with your back. When they talk, smiling and nodding when appropriate is also key.
#153154 - dehumanizer (09/05/2014) [-]
But she never loved me back yet i was still very harbroken when she rejected me (first girl).

>finaly had the one that accepts you

yeah no i dont belive that, maybe its just a coping mechanism but i sencierly dont

Well i could socialise normaly but i just dont really want to its complicated, has to do with childhood abandontment issues, n shit as for socializing with girls that i like... well then it gets really bad.
User avatar #153103 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
gotcha
#153074 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Hey, dunno if you're still taking advice, but if you are I'll help ya out as best I can. Your plan....well I wouldn't call it autistic... but it's not really smooth either man... You exchange smiles, good, but I am in complete agreement with saltybanana, you need to make small talk with her. I'd say the small talk before trying to get her number, not the other way around. I say this because if you went through with your plan, she could reject you, not necessarily because of how you look, but more then likely because she doesn't know you that well. I assume she at least knows your name right? and you know hers? Next time, just make some small talk, then invite her out for coffee, it'll be a date, and you'll both get to know each other. You need to get some talk in there first though buddy, I' m not 100% on your original idea. I'm seriously not trying to be an ass if that's how I'm coming off, I've had both good and bad experience with this so I'm doing my best to make sure you get the girl and be happy. If you have further questions feel free to ask me anything, I'll answer it until you're satisfied and ready
User avatar #153096 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Yeah, I have already scraped it and plan to ask her to go for coffee (this would suck for me as I dislike coffee but oh well) next time I see her, which I have no clue is when. I only know 1 time I can run into her because I think I have deduced part of her class schedule but it wouldn't be till Monday
#153099 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Just a heads up m8, you don't only get coffee at a coffee shop, they usually have other items you can pick from. Don't get coffee if you don't like it, just get something else, or when in doubt, just get water. It's not the drinks that are important, 95% of that dates success comes from you holding an *interesting* conversation with her. If you bore her, most girls will go to their phone, you don't want that. However, if you feel like she goes to her phone no matter what, scrap her, seriously, you don't want a girl who constantly lives and breaths on her phone. This is all, of course, if she's that type of girl, more of a precautionary warning for ya to look out for. You don't want to be the guy on a date with her who is cut off and ignored every two seconds because she looks at her phone or texts someone.

This may sound stupid, but I saw you mention you don't talk much/are shy it seems? Practice in front of a mirror, a ton of people dismiss this because they think it's dumb and doesn't work, it really, really does work. Pay attention to your body language, it. is. everything. Pay attention to her body language as well. It can mean the difference between knowing she's interested and knowing she wants the whole thing over. If you want advice on body language just ask, if not I'll assume you know that and skip it. Have conversation topics ready ahead of time, don't freak if one of or two of them flops, that's why you practiced. The advantage you have here is, from what you've told me, she smiles at you no matter what, even better, she smiles brighter when your down so as to kinda lift you up. That's a fantastic sign dude, seriously.

Just keep in mind, I know I'm repeating myself but only because it's important: Body....Language.....especially when you go to make small talk/ask her out to coffee. If you slouch, you need to stand up straight, but look comfortable. Eye contact, but not nonestop or you just look crazy.
User avatar #153102 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I know about the coffee thing, I also wanted to try to keep myself from ever going to starbucks on campus here, but if she chooses that then oh well for me.

I feel I'm pretty good with body language, I never really slouch and I'm usually pretty relaxed, and I think I do well with the eye contact too. If she does agree to go I think that just talking about college will keep it going since she is a freshman (or as they are supposed to be called First-years -_-). My biggest problem is almost always just getting the balls to actually say something first.
User avatar #153104 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Mmk. Well I recommended the coffee shop because it's a place to sit down and get to know each other better. If you know you both share a mutual interest in something else, you could take her to that instead, the key play here being no matter where you take her, you need to have that crucial talk to get to know her better. Her hopes, dreams, major, where she wants to go in life, what makes her happy/sad. If you're good at making people laugh, or just making her laugh, you'll get HUGE bonus points, if you can't or aren't the funny type, don't sweat it, just make sure you keep the conversation going. For the love of all things good, don't let awkward silence happen at all, avoid at all costs. It's not the end of the world if it happens once for a few moments, but if you get her talking through the entire thing and smiling you can count this a major success. also m8, don't be so quick to assume you're friendzoned if she turns down your offer for coffee or something. She could be legitametly busy, or going out for coffee doesn't appeal to her. In the event she says no, do NOT let it get you down, keep smiling, say okay and you'll talk later. Then, what you can do from that point on is try to run into her as much as you can, don't be like, stalker status, but try to run into her enough so you can have tidbits of small talk to get to know her without the date. That way, she'll be warming up to you, and after you feel you know her better and have thought of a better idea, you could ask her out again. Or, if you want, *after* having a few talks with her and getting to know her better, THEN you can fall back on your old plan to give her your number, I mean at that point what do you have to lose? Ideally, you'd want her to give you HER number, you rarely want to leave it to women unless you're almost positive she's interested and will text, but if she turned down the date and you got to know her after, then hey, go for it. Don't be like so many others here.
User avatar #153105 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Where you get one rejection and it's all "Fuck women, friendzoned again, blah blah whiney shit"
User avatar #153107 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Oh I don't blame them for the friendzone, I realize it is a place for guys that either get rejected and then just become friends with the girl instead or guys who think they are flirting but they are just friends and thus are stuck there. I don't use it as a bad thing, it is just a way to describe the status.

I plan to say something along the lines of "Would you like to go coffee or meet up somewhere to get to know each other this afternoon?" Or is that end part not a good choice?
#153108 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Nah man, that's perfectly fine. Just, when you say it, make sure to look and sound confident through and through. It really does effect it to some degree. Don't look down at your feet when asking her, instead make good honest eye-contact, initiate the smiling that you two seem to do, then smile throughout the entire thing (natural smile, don't fake it, you don't have to smile through it if you don't think it'll look right, but if you can then bonus points to you) and just ask her real nice and casual like. Your choice of words sound fine to me, so long as you don't like, studder or lower your voice as if you're frightened. If you say it clear and with confidence, then you got this on lock dude.

If she says yes, you're in m8!

If she says no, she'll probably go the route of something along the lines of "oh, I'd love to, but I have (enter whatever reason/excuse here) maybe another time?" If this occurs, don't drop your cool, keep it together, remain unfazed, or at least don't show it. Just agree and say something like "maybe another time then" and give a genuine smile, which she should return. Most importantly, don't beat yourself up over it if you go down this route. So many people on here get rejected, beat themselves up for it, then are afraid to approach girls again. It's not the end of the world I promise you. Like I said, even if she turns down your idea to go hang out at the coffee shop, you're not necessarily frienzoned or lost your chance. You just take a different route, in which you make small talk with her as much as you can whenever you run into her, that way you'll get to know her better and become better friends. Then you'll have another shot at in, you just need to be patient.

Win or Lose, don't lose faith in yourself my friend, plenty of other girls. I'm sure you'll do fine with this one, just keep your cool, keep the conversations fun and interesting, and you've got it in the bag!
User avatar #153109 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I'm not like the other guys who don't try anymore because of rejection, I'm been rejected like 6 or 7 times (mostly because I went about it in a pretty autistic way) but I've dealt with it and have learned from those mistakes, I just happened to always find a new one
User avatar #153112 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
(Cont. of my other reply) The long terms I've dated were 8/10, 9/10, 10/10, and 9/10. Rated on both beautiful and fantastic personalities. Loved every minute of it of each one. Like you though, I had to go through a LOT of rejections to get to those long term fantastic relationships, so it makes me happy to hear you won't be giving up even if things go south.
User avatar #153111 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Good man! I can't tell you how sad it is to see how many guys (and even sometimes girls) here give up and have their spirit crushed after a rejection or two. You don't give up, you keep trying with other people. You learn from your mistakes and use it on the next. You don't need to hear me say all this though, you just told me you already do that, and that's fantastic man, seriously props for you for breaking the mold. Just like you're doing now, there's also always someone you can turn to for advice or help if you need it. I'm helping you not just because I like helping people in general, but because I've been in your shoes a lot myself. I'm not the best looking guy, medium build, not fat, but I haven't worked out long enough (yet) to have that defined/chiseled look. I'd say, if I'm being honest, I'm maybe a 6/10 on an average day, 7/10 on a good day. However, making girls laugh comes very natural to me, and makes up for it a LOT. Women love a man who can make them smile and laugh. Not to sound like I'm bragging, just letting you know my own experience so you know you're not getting it from some kid whose never had a gf. I've had 4 Long term relationships, and 1 short. I don't like having short relationships, so I try my best to find a girl I think will stick around for awhile, hence why the number of girls I dated are so slow. Even though I've only dated 4 (5 including the short term) they were all fantastic relationships, shortest of the 4 was a year, longest was 2 1/2 years. They all ended on good notes, I'm friends with all my exs since there's no bad blood. The 5th, short term one was when I gave into peer pressure and went for this girl who was making obvious advances at me. Let me tell you, if a girl likes you, but you share nothing in common and she's just got outside beauty, she's really not worth it. We lasted a week before she broke up with me to chase like 2 other dudes, fine in my books, wasn't long enough to develop feelings.
User avatar #153113 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I have no idea where I would be on the scale, at the most 7/10, very likely a 6/10 but my main problem is that I am overweight. Not obese and like a bowling ball but my stomach is hard to miss, so that has usually killed my confidence and probably not helped with girls anyway. In anycase, I'm out to go to class, if I run into her today and something happens, will let you know
User avatar #153114 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Quick question before you go, how tall are you and how much weight? Just curious, I'm sure you're alright dude. Confidence is key above all else. If you don't want to say, don't sweat it. Good luck in your classes, and with the girl. Keep me posted and let me know if I can be of further help to you, I'm here if you should need me.
User avatar #153116 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
around 5'8" or so, pretty average and 270lb, do have some muscle so it isn't all fat. Something like this kid www.wellspringcamps.com/photos/P7300040.jpg , but bigger stomach and that is pretty much it. I really just need to exercise and I would probably be good since I've held this weight for like 3-4 years now
User avatar #153117 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
You're alright man, no worries just like I said, confidence is the make or breaking point. However you seem to be one of the few on this site I don't need to tell that to, despite being shy you've got some experience under your belt, rejection or not, still leagues ahead of a lot of these smucks. Go get her tiger, keep me updated, and don't worry if it doesn't work at first, just keep at it. Go for the gold my friend!
User avatar #153106 - Decode (09/05/2014) [-]
Nah, you pick yourself up, be proud you worked up the confidence to do what most guys can't even do, and keep moving forward. So far, I've covered what to do in event of success and failure, body language, conversations, hmmm, anything else you would like to know or add?
#153057 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
....ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah

dude bruuh, amigo. thats the funniest shit ive ever heard. in a way it sounds cute when you guys look back at it well if you do end up going out with her

man just make small talk with her next time you see her at the elevator, just say "hey my name is....wanna go get some coffee later on?" BOOM like that, get pussy, achievement unlocked!

simple man simple!! just do that next time you see her, itll make you look less retarded
User avatar #154841 - syrenthra (09/15/2014) [-]
We've gone too far with the purp lines


No I didn't, but I do have a plan to get to go with her to coffee again and possibly get her number. Worst case I could add her on facebook to plan another coffee meet but yeah
User avatar #154973 - saltybanana (09/16/2014) [-]
omfgahsbASDHVCoa nigga just ask for it so simple!!

just get here number bro, that way you guys could get to know one another more, when you arent with her
User avatar #154984 - syrenthra (09/16/2014) [-]
I plan to today!

when I see her today I plan to mention that I enjoyed going to coffee with her and ask if we could exchange numbers to plan another time to meet up.
User avatar #155281 - saltybanana (09/17/2014) [-]
thats it man, get them digits
User avatar #153059 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Problem is only the first time have I really be able to talk to her, any other time we are either going the opposite way of each other or someone else is there so it would be awkward. If I saw the chance to ask her to lunch, I would, believe me
User avatar #153061 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
hmmmm well thats a tough one.

just stop her one day, when you see her walking causal like when you think shes not in a hurry and just be like "hey can i get your digits gurl number?"

if not just go up to her when passing and just ask for her number.
User avatar #153063 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Yeah, I'm not that great socially so that is why trying it when it is not best situation for me is going to be hard, especially when I don't know I will see her. So you see why doing the number on paper would be an option I came up with
User avatar #153067 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
dude its always good to try something new. my pops always told me "being the ridiculous is what makes you achieve"

fucking works all the time.
User avatar #153070 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
For me, doing the number on paper is pretty big difference than how I normally do it.
User avatar #153060 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
jesus christ the beginning of that was fucked, what I meant is, so far the only time we were alone and talking was the first time
#153062 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
dude im pretty sure she'll giev you her number, if she loves to smile at you.
just do it
User avatar #153064 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
god damnit, if the emperor is telling me I should go for it, I really have nothing to lose considering I don't have any classes with her and it going awkward with her wouldn't affect anything, just another rejection mark on the wall
#153066 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
it wont be bad, your asking her for her number. not go out with you man. start slow. be friends, get close. and den maybe just maaaaybe youll get rejected im kidding maybe you guys will go out

i got high hopes for you ese. make me proud
User avatar #153068 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I think too much about this shit, doesn't matter who it is, it always comes up with me of what would happen if it goes badly, and in this case, nothing is really affected since I don't see her other than in the dorm sometimes
User avatar #153069 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
got nothing to lose
User avatar #153071 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
now to hope I actually see her tomorrow at a convenient time, like coming back from breakfast so I can ask her to lunch
User avatar #153072 - saltybanana (09/05/2014) [-]
there yo go!!

stay positive man
User avatar #153888 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, if you still care about this I was able to finally talk to her and got her name, didn't ask her to coffee and unless I am reading things wrong, she seems to be actually showing interest
User avatar #153890 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
maaaah man!

that sounds great man, good to know you actually asked her!
man aske her out to get some luch or something bro! she wants the D
User avatar #153891 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Next time I see her I plan to ask her to meet up for something, I kinda chickened out and didn't really feel it was a good time to ask her when we talked today but either way, progress
User avatar #153892 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
did you atleast get her number?? if you didnt water you waiting for ese? ask her out man, just say "hey could i take you out to get some lunch? its on me. wanna get to know you more"
User avatar #153893 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
I only got her name earlier, like I said, next time I see her I plan to ask her somewhere
User avatar #153894 - saltybanana (09/09/2014) [-]
dont be so late, never know someone else is out there trying to get at her aswll. so dont wait up brochacho
User avatar #153895 - syrenthra (09/09/2014) [-]
Hey, today was the first time I saw her since last week and there really is no way for me to increase the chances of seeing her so believe me, I'm trying
#153995 - saltybanana (09/10/2014) [-]
alright brotha good luck, you'll get her i believe in you
User avatar #154718 - syrenthra (09/15/2014) [-]
Well we went to coffee today, not sure what is going to happen but I accomplished my mission
User avatar #154838 - saltybanana (09/15/2014) [-]
did you get her number this time????
#154014 - syrenthra (09/10/2014) [-]
Thanks man
#153048 - Well let me give you an example of how to do it. I'm … 09/05/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#1048238 - Well I expect if there is a second one, it will be better beca… 09/05/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
#1048220 - I can get matches in Attrition but I still notice it taking lo… 09/05/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
#11 - Exactly 09/05/2014 on 8 Pack Of Fat 0
#1048197 - So unless not having the map packs is really limiting my searc…  [+] (9 new replies) 09/04/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #1048556 - awesomedewd (09/05/2014) [-]
Last Titan Standing is pretty much the shittiest game mode in the game and nobody plays it.

Play a better gamemode.
User avatar #1048559 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I normally play attrition but I like LTS every so often as it gives a different play style. But as I said, even attrition seems to be lacking in numbers
User avatar #1048562 - awesomedewd (09/05/2014) [-]
I heard the new game mode is currently the most played mode.
User avatar #1048565 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Oh that makes sense but I'm not one of the people that was being targeted with this game mode, I like the other game modes just fine
User avatar #1048232 - uve (09/05/2014) [-]
play the new game mode
User avatar #1048228 - sonnyboii (09/05/2014) [-]
Kek, it really did underdeliver

And then they announce Titanfall 2, and people will hype it up, and the same shit will happen
User avatar #1048238 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Well I expect if there is a second one, it will be better because I heard that part of the problem with this one was that they were still trying to deal with the legal battle between the 2 guys that were fired and Activision

I really like the game and have no real complaints, sure a story would be nice but playing a campaign in this game wouldn't be much different that just having the multiplayer matches
User avatar #1048214 - ghostninja (09/05/2014) [-]
Maybe try another gamemode?

I play on 360 and can still find a full match pretty easily for the best game mode
User avatar #1048220 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
I can get matches in Attrition but I still notice it taking long than a few months ago, but like I also said, it could be because I am not playing the dlc maps and most people who would still play would have them
#1048176 - I assume that is a mod for CoH. You didn't go too hard but you…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/04/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
User avatar #1048181 - ishallsmiteyou (09/04/2014) [-]
Yeah, it's The Great War. Made myself a really tiny map to get the screenshot though, as well as a bit of texture editing. Sadly that's as high res as I can get the textures though.
#8 - and then someone added some electricity to that fence  [+] (2 new replies) 09/04/2014 on 8 Pack Of Fat +1
#10 - omegadynasty (09/04/2014) [-]
User avatar #11 - syrenthra (09/05/2014) [-]
Exactly
#1048140 - Sins of a Solar Empire 2 Warship Gunner 2 Command and … 09/04/2014 on Video Games Board - console... 0
#1048007 - Well, just finished F.3.A.R, and I beat F.E.A.R 2: Project Ori… 09/04/2014 on Video Games Board - console... +1
#27 - didn't look like it, oh well 09/04/2014 on Denmark trains some "raw"... 0
#19 - and ear  [+] (2 new replies) 09/04/2014 on Denmark trains some "raw"... +1
User avatar #26 - misticalz (09/04/2014) [-]
they do
User avatar #27 - syrenthra (09/04/2014) [-]
didn't look like it, oh well
#9 - Comment deleted 09/03/2014 on Keep guzzling those "male... +144
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#24 - leukemiaboy (05/14/2014) [-]
**leukemiaboy rolled image**
#21 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
Are you japanese?
User avatar #22 to #21 - syrenthra (12/29/2013) [-]
I'm as japanese as a chinese person is
User avatar #14 - schatgraver (02/23/2013) [-]
sorry, you have too little fj items to be worth anything in tf2 items!\



sorryy!
User avatar #15 to #14 - syrenthra (02/23/2013) [-]
even the dictator pictures?
User avatar #16 to #15 - schatgraver (02/23/2013) [-]
not worth anything^^
User avatar #17 to #16 - syrenthra (02/23/2013) [-]
fak you ad mon for making them seem useful.....
User avatar #18 to #17 - schatgraver (02/23/2013) [-]
almost none of the items are useable
User avatar #19 to #18 - syrenthra (02/23/2013) [-]
probably because they are all the early beta game stuff
#1 - PolarFroster (07/30/2012) [-]
To satisfaction?

P.s. you thought I was done already xP
User avatar #2 to #1 - syrenthra (07/30/2012) [-]
Have fun, and I would have called hacker if you would be done already.
User avatar #3 to #2 - PolarFroster (07/30/2012) [-]
Challenge failed ._.
3 times failed...
User avatar #4 to #3 - syrenthra (07/30/2012) [-]
I told you, I knew you would get screwed, toxin and stealth destroy you?
User avatar #5 to #4 - PolarFroster (07/30/2012) [-]
Its too much to defend from too fast, You can't build a base and defend fast enuff. You either survive moneyless, or die with a lil money. Either way, dead ;-;
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