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swimmingprodigy

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:3/17/2010
Last Login:3/07/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#11871
Comment Ranking:#1327
Highest Content Rank:#341
Highest Comment Rank:#131
Content Thumbs: 18100 total,  21008 ,  2908
Comment Thumbs: 43964 total,  54246 ,  10282
Content Level Progress: 2.9% (29/1000)
Level 218 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 219 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 31.8% (318/1000)
Level 342 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 343 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:24
Content Views:388084
Times Content Favorited:1898 times
Total Comments Made:14646
FJ Points:61359
Favorite Tags: a (3) | Apple (2) | epic (2) | justin (2) | lol (2) | Mario (2) | remi (2)

latest user's comments

#40 - I don't get it because I think I have a simple answer. …  [+] (3 new replies) 02/23/2015 on Infinity Explain: Paradox 0
User avatar #42 - swimmingprodigy (02/23/2015) [-]
Ok I reread your post much more carefully and I still don't get the big deal.
Ya, as n approaches infinity you have an infinite amount of straight lines with a length infinitesimally small. This is the basic premise of what a curve is, they teach you this in the first week of calculus.
User avatar #44 - infinityexplain (02/23/2015) [-]
That's not what a curve is. A curve a selction of points that fits a criteria. In order to estimate the curve's slope, you take a secant that is as close to the tangent as possible, and you find the slope of that.

What this is supposed to show is that there's an infinite amount of lines But each one of them is so incredibly small that they have no length. It's a paradox. How can there be an infinite amount of lines but have no length?
User avatar #46 - swimmingprodigy (02/23/2015) [-]
I didnt write out my full thought process. I meant to say that that's the definition of a derivative and the whole secant tangent thing on a curve like you just explained.


Your paradox seems very straightforward though. You have a limited amount of space (lets say 1 unit like you said) and you want to fit as many lines as possible. Since you have a limited space which you can only fit the lines in, you can do one big line, or 2 lines twice as small so they fit, or 3 lines 3 times as small so they fit, etc etc. You keep going until eventually you have an infinite amount of lines which are infinitely small. Boom
#21 - why do you think that? I liked the old south park because …  [+] (3 new replies) 02/23/2015 on times have changed +5
User avatar #27 - sketchysketchist (02/23/2015) [-]
The earlier episodes where fun nonsense filled stories with hilarious shit kids would do.
The new stuff is funny but has something important-ish to say about things, but aren't as timeless unless the issue itself is timeless.


So both are good, just for different reasons.
User avatar #29 - swimmingprodigy (02/23/2015) [-]
I guess. Some of the newer episodes are incredibly clever, but I guess I just dont like when the writers inject their own political views into the show
User avatar #37 - chuca (02/23/2015) [-]
most of the time, or at least it seems to me, they're just poking fun at how idiotic some things that people make a big deal out of are more than trying to make you think a certain way
#9 - because 2 years into your marriage she'll divorce you and take…  [+] (4 new replies) 02/23/2015 on Friends +1
User avatar #15 - demandsgayversion (02/23/2015) [-]
Seducing a rich person is hard work. If you can do that, and then beat their super lawyers, you definitely earned the money.
User avatar #14 - Crusader (02/23/2015) [-]
Yes because everyone knows that if a woman loves you regardless of money, she'll dump you and take half your stuff because that's what people that love each other do, they break up.
#24 - luxuriously (02/23/2015) [-]
well you never nkow hence why the original suggestion was to get a prenup. His implications that every marriage in two years ends with a bitch wife may be a bit too far but he has a good point in getting a prenup. Don't let "oh i love her soooo much i trust her" get fog common sense and reason. Its to protect yourself. If your future wife doesn't want to get a prenup and absolutely refuses for some odd reason now THATS a red flag. If she didnt care about the money in the first place she would sign fair consensual prenup.

Counterarguement: What if she was offended by the prenup and THATS the real reason she wouldn't sign it? Well then you dodged a bullet because if shes offended at you for taking precations about yourself then shes a wreck and you should save the stress of dealing with that until she is atleast mature and secure with herself enough to realize you're just being fiscally responsible.

Source: In a very loving marriage with a wonderful woman. She accepts that sometime i geek out and watch One Piece and I accept she likes to donate to every homeless person we walk by. Also she enjoys watching porn with me. NEVER settle for your soulmate. If in doubt get out.

#10 - anonexplains (02/23/2015) [-]
How does that matter if he doesn't care about his parents' money?
#7 - That's a huge red flag right there. Dump or prenup  [+] (6 new replies) 02/23/2015 on Friends +1
#8 - anonexplains (02/23/2015) [-]
You abstain from telling a girl that you're rich and she loves you. She finds out you're rich and she's happy. How is that a bad thing?
User avatar #9 - swimmingprodigy (02/23/2015) [-]
because 2 years into your marriage she'll divorce you and take half of your stuff even though she didnt earn it
User avatar #15 - demandsgayversion (02/23/2015) [-]
Seducing a rich person is hard work. If you can do that, and then beat their super lawyers, you definitely earned the money.
User avatar #14 - Crusader (02/23/2015) [-]
Yes because everyone knows that if a woman loves you regardless of money, she'll dump you and take half your stuff because that's what people that love each other do, they break up.
#24 - luxuriously (02/23/2015) [-]
well you never nkow hence why the original suggestion was to get a prenup. His implications that every marriage in two years ends with a bitch wife may be a bit too far but he has a good point in getting a prenup. Don't let "oh i love her soooo much i trust her" get fog common sense and reason. Its to protect yourself. If your future wife doesn't want to get a prenup and absolutely refuses for some odd reason now THATS a red flag. If she didnt care about the money in the first place she would sign fair consensual prenup.

Counterarguement: What if she was offended by the prenup and THATS the real reason she wouldn't sign it? Well then you dodged a bullet because if shes offended at you for taking precations about yourself then shes a wreck and you should save the stress of dealing with that until she is atleast mature and secure with herself enough to realize you're just being fiscally responsible.

Source: In a very loving marriage with a wonderful woman. She accepts that sometime i geek out and watch One Piece and I accept she likes to donate to every homeless person we walk by. Also she enjoys watching porn with me. NEVER settle for your soulmate. If in doubt get out.

#10 - anonexplains (02/23/2015) [-]
How does that matter if he doesn't care about his parents' money?
#249 - >dat hivemind 02/22/2015 on Having a dad always comes... 0
#195 - I honestly think they just like using as many of those buzzwor… 02/22/2015 on Cringe adventures #6 0
#115 - I think he just makes it up as he goes along 02/22/2015 on Ken M Comp 0
#114 - *tips fedora 02/22/2015 on Ken M Comp 0
#19 - looks sweet. How much did you pay?  [+] (1 new reply) 02/22/2015 on Tattoo Compilation #2 0
User avatar #20 - thesticklebricks (02/22/2015) [-]
Thanks buddy, and around £370 (£120ish for the 2 hours and £250 "day-rate" for the 6 hours)
#24 - Ken M is hands down the best troll ever. He's so subtle it's j…  [+] (11 new replies) 02/22/2015 on Ken M Comp +129
User avatar #103 - iamnuff (02/22/2015) [-]
Do you think he writes down the punchlines to his jokes so he doesn't forget them it if takes a while for someone to take the bait and finish the setup for him?
User avatar #115 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
I think he just makes it up as he goes along
User avatar #57 - shorea (02/22/2015) [-]
he's just as bad as all the other trolls, youtube's commenters are even more retarded than tumblr users, it's really not hard.
Like seriously, I've not laughed a single time out of his "trolling". It's just pathetic. I've seen so many better trolls and people on FJ like jizz everything around when they see him.
User avatar #114 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
*tips fedora
#140 - hitlerwasreich (02/22/2015) [-]
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.

Single best sentence I've ever read on the internet.
User avatar #93 - vycanismajoris (02/22/2015) [-]
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.

This is glorious
#69 - imasasquatch (02/22/2015) [-]
"Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass."

I fucking can't
#112 - straitedge (02/22/2015) [-]
Funnyjunk is a place of being able to can.
Take your can'ts elsewhere.
User avatar #61 - davyjonesbooty (02/22/2015) [-]
"damn I gotta write down your names or something"

"I pop like 16 boners"

"You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play."


Forty fucking keks
User avatar #50 - kentravyon (02/22/2015) [-]
"you perverted piece of shit"
- You do realize you were having cyber-sex right? hypocrite
#77 - lel this power is going to your head. Now please, do … 02/22/2015 on Having a dad always comes... +10
#74 - dont even know what that's supposed to mean  [+] (5 new replies) 02/22/2015 on Having a dad always comes... +6
User avatar #248 - cantexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Yeah, fuck you!
User avatar #249 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
>dat hivemind

User avatar #75 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
And I'm not going to explain it to you. And I'll call my buddies cantexplain and wontexplain and they aren't going to explain it to you either.
#177 - tarabostes (02/22/2015) [-]
Stop, you are already dead!
User avatar #77 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
lel this power is going to your head.

Now please, do your job and explain
#71 - nah you're wrong  [+] (7 new replies) 02/22/2015 on Having a dad always comes... +9
#72 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
User avatar #74 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
dont even know what that's supposed to mean
User avatar #248 - cantexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Yeah, fuck you!
User avatar #249 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
>dat hivemind

User avatar #75 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
And I'm not going to explain it to you. And I'll call my buddies cantexplain and wontexplain and they aren't going to explain it to you either.
#177 - tarabostes (02/22/2015) [-]
Stop, you are already dead!
User avatar #77 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
lel this power is going to your head.

Now please, do your job and explain
#68 - except it's not an integral part of the process. Opening a jar…  [+] (9 new replies) 02/22/2015 on Having a dad always comes... +9
User avatar #70 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
It doesn't matter. Two people, in a box. All the competition happens in that box. She got help from outside the box. Doesn't matter how large or small the help is, it's still help from outside the box. That is the definition of cheating.
User avatar #71 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
nah you're wrong
#72 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
User avatar #74 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
dont even know what that's supposed to mean
User avatar #248 - cantexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Yeah, fuck you!
User avatar #249 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
>dat hivemind

User avatar #75 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
And I'm not going to explain it to you. And I'll call my buddies cantexplain and wontexplain and they aren't going to explain it to you either.
#177 - tarabostes (02/22/2015) [-]
Stop, you are already dead!
User avatar #77 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
lel this power is going to your head.

Now please, do your job and explain
#59 - What if the other guy had a slightly easier to open jar? Would…  [+] (11 new replies) 02/22/2015 on Having a dad always comes... +10
User avatar #62 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Everyone had access to exactly the same things. It's a shared kitchen. Two competitors, nobody else. And she cheated by letting someone outside of the competition help her with an integral part of the process.
User avatar #68 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
except it's not an integral part of the process. Opening a jar is not on par to making a sauce for the dish. THAT is an integral part.
User avatar #70 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
It doesn't matter. Two people, in a box. All the competition happens in that box. She got help from outside the box. Doesn't matter how large or small the help is, it's still help from outside the box. That is the definition of cheating.
User avatar #71 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
nah you're wrong
#72 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
User avatar #74 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
dont even know what that's supposed to mean
User avatar #248 - cantexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Yeah, fuck you!
User avatar #249 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
>dat hivemind

User avatar #75 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
And I'm not going to explain it to you. And I'll call my buddies cantexplain and wontexplain and they aren't going to explain it to you either.
#177 - tarabostes (02/22/2015) [-]
Stop, you are already dead!
User avatar #77 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
lel this power is going to your head.

Now please, do your job and explain
#57 - So you're saying she cheated because her dad opened a jar for …  [+] (13 new replies) 02/22/2015 on Having a dad always comes... +7
User avatar #58 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Yes, she would have used it anyway, but it's a time-limited challenge and she saved time by bringing in help from outside the competition area. The other guy had access to the same type of jarred foods and did not bring in help, giving her an advantage she would not have had if her dad was not in the audience.
User avatar #59 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
What if the other guy had a slightly easier to open jar? Would that not be a time advantage for him?
User avatar #62 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Everyone had access to exactly the same things. It's a shared kitchen. Two competitors, nobody else. And she cheated by letting someone outside of the competition help her with an integral part of the process.
User avatar #68 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
except it's not an integral part of the process. Opening a jar is not on par to making a sauce for the dish. THAT is an integral part.
User avatar #70 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
It doesn't matter. Two people, in a box. All the competition happens in that box. She got help from outside the box. Doesn't matter how large or small the help is, it's still help from outside the box. That is the definition of cheating.
User avatar #71 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
nah you're wrong
#72 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
User avatar #74 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
dont even know what that's supposed to mean
User avatar #248 - cantexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Yeah, fuck you!
User avatar #249 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
>dat hivemind

User avatar #75 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
And I'm not going to explain it to you. And I'll call my buddies cantexplain and wontexplain and they aren't going to explain it to you either.
#177 - tarabostes (02/22/2015) [-]
Stop, you are already dead!
User avatar #77 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
lel this power is going to your head.

Now please, do your job and explain
#52 - You can be a fantastic chef without having the strength to ope…  [+] (16 new replies) 02/22/2015 on Having a dad always comes... +118
#174 - cackrel (02/22/2015) [-]
You don't become a fantastic chef from opening jars.
You become a fantastic chef by having a penis.
User avatar #54 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Yeah, but this is a direct competition between two chefs. No assistants, no sous chef, no dishwasher. Just him and her, and apparently her dad.
User avatar #57 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
So you're saying she cheated because her dad opened a jar for her.
Did he whisper a recipe to her?
Did he give her suggestions?
Did he sabotage the other chef?

No, he just opened a jar. He didn't help her win at all. She planned to use the contents of the jar anyway.

If the lid was just a LITTLE less tight, she would've used the contents of the jar anyway.
User avatar #58 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Yes, she would have used it anyway, but it's a time-limited challenge and she saved time by bringing in help from outside the competition area. The other guy had access to the same type of jarred foods and did not bring in help, giving her an advantage she would not have had if her dad was not in the audience.
User avatar #59 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
What if the other guy had a slightly easier to open jar? Would that not be a time advantage for him?
User avatar #62 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Everyone had access to exactly the same things. It's a shared kitchen. Two competitors, nobody else. And she cheated by letting someone outside of the competition help her with an integral part of the process.
User avatar #68 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
except it's not an integral part of the process. Opening a jar is not on par to making a sauce for the dish. THAT is an integral part.
User avatar #70 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
It doesn't matter. Two people, in a box. All the competition happens in that box. She got help from outside the box. Doesn't matter how large or small the help is, it's still help from outside the box. That is the definition of cheating.
User avatar #71 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
nah you're wrong
#72 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
User avatar #74 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
dont even know what that's supposed to mean
User avatar #248 - cantexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
Yeah, fuck you!
User avatar #249 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
>dat hivemind

User avatar #75 - jokexplain (02/22/2015) [-]
And I'm not going to explain it to you. And I'll call my buddies cantexplain and wontexplain and they aren't going to explain it to you either.
#177 - tarabostes (02/22/2015) [-]
Stop, you are already dead!
User avatar #77 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
lel this power is going to your head.

Now please, do your job and explain
#295 - Although you may have a point there, I'm laughing more at the … 02/22/2015 on Lawl & Order "Special"... 0
#238 - Why are you guys getting angry at this? I find these hilar…  [+] (2 new replies) 02/22/2015 on Lawl & Order "Special"... +1
User avatar #261 - warlordstuart (02/22/2015) [-]
feminists-please-stop.tumblr.com/post/108095542707/what-are-exactly-the-actions-of-modern-feminists

in actuality, they are getting their way. The blog up there lists over 100 things that feminism is affecting and cites each and every one of them with a link or proper citation. Its freaking scary.
User avatar #295 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
Although you may have a point there, I'm laughing more at the tumblr whale otherkin trigender feminists who spend all their time on tumblr preaching their dogshit to other octopuskin feminists.

Most of this stuff is absolutely ridiculous. A castration day taking place on father's day? It sounds stupider than the rantings of a KKK Grand dragon
#237 - You don't see them in public because they're too fat to fit th… 02/22/2015 on Lawl & Order "Special"... +4
#52 - You forgot to show on the graph at what temperature does jet f… 02/21/2015 on 50 Shades Of Grey +5
#345 - Lifting a bag of cement is very similar to deadlifting, which … 02/21/2015 on Cringe Comp ? of ?: Grand... 0
#45 - "asexual" "sex addict" k  [+] (2 new replies) 02/20/2015 on Cringe adventures #6 +16
User avatar #194 - comexx (02/22/2015) [-]
"cant get laid"
"masturbates"
I do realise that asexual means nothing sexual, including masturbation, but thats probably the only excuse they could make.
User avatar #195 - swimmingprodigy (02/22/2015) [-]
I honestly think they just like using as many of those buzzwords as possible because that's what's "in" and "cool" right now. Remember how when FB first came out your popularity was directly related to how many FB friends you had? This is kind of the same thing except with these words.

That's why every tumblr whale is a transdeformabletrisexual pyrofox samurai seacucumberkin with 47 different PTSD-causing events who regularly survives at least 3 rapes a day
#515 - Level 16 Lone Wanderer from Vault 101 I think I'll be ok 02/20/2015 on games game 0
#12 - >burn stick >stick turns to ash >ash absorbed… 02/20/2015 on 4chan Compilation Part 16 of ? 0

items

Total unique items point value: 2100 / Total items point value: 2300

Comments(133):

[ 133 comments ]
Latest users (1): patriotprideboy, anonymous(3).
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#138 - anonexplains (02/18/2015) [-]
*roll 00-99*
User avatar #137 - patriotprideboy ONLINE (12/25/2014) [-]
PolskaRezystans?
User avatar #134 - swimmingprodigy (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 86**
User avatar #135 to #134 - swimmingprodigy (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 01**
User avatar #119 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Trying to ask everyone I encounter on here, haha.
I started a creative writing channel, to share and provide criticism on stories.
You write? Would love some contributors.
User avatar #120 to #119 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Well I''ve been told by many people that I'm an awesome writer, but I guess that's only when I have to be; in all honesty I hate writing with a burning passion. I'm not creative at all, I have no imagination, and I'm more of a science person.
User avatar #121 to #120 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I've been told the same.
I'm creative, but my problem is my ideas sounding cool to all my friends (My current project is a source mod, but I'm writing it first.) Friends ******* ate up the concept and said I pitched it very well, but the things I think of are in my head just developing in there, so I've got soo much detail when I finally explain it to someone. I felt like I sounded high (My pills don't count as high, that ****** just there to calm me down. don't change my thoughts and I'm more concentrated so if anything it helps.)

Do you also have this problem with conveying your concepts after they've just been festering in your head? It's a really frustrating thing to happen and by the time I have it ready to write I don't know where to start, but I still remember every last little detail that I think of.
Sorry for getting ******* off-topic, sheesh, I'm a rambler, skipped the pill this morning.
Sorry if a waste of time.



By the way, depending on what kind of science you're into, (Aeronautics for me, especially, and weapon-science) I could tell you about my story concept.
It involves a space program, but it's action/horror-ish.
Also, main character sports a Mercury spaceuit (best spacesuit) and the MBA GyroJet as signature weapon (because it can fire in space).
If you'd bare with me, I could find you the one I'd written down previously.
Just warning you now though, it's a ******* run on sentence, I was in no way in the mood to tackle the entire story or oragnize my thoughts, so I just jotted down main ideas basically.
#122 to #121 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
I find when I'm writing essays for school I'll think of an epic line that I want to use in like a minute or two, and then I forget it and I'm so pissed at myself because nothing else sounds a good as what I originally planned. But I'm never written anything nearly as long as what you're describing, so I can't relate. Longest thing I've ever written was a 22-paged technical description of the longboard I made from scratch last summer.

As for the science I'm into; Im mainly into cars (that's my hobby) but when I was little I was really interested in military aircraft because I always wanted to be an Air Force Pilot. Now my major in college is civil engineering so I focus mainly on buildings. But I do know a lot about space because that interested me too when I was a kid. I used to read ******** of books when I was little; my friends say I'm like a walking encyclopedia. I just know tons of facts about everything. I would kick ass at Jeopardy
#123 to #122 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
10/10 seems like a pretty cool dude. We could definitely get along.

And that was a very frustrating thing for me, too, but doesn't even happen very often anymore, so I am glad I am able to remember so that I am not pressured to write it right on the spot.

I am planning on taking a creative-writing class once I go to college.
Kinda bothers me that they have stuff like Japanese, but they can't have a creative-writing class.

And I assume then that you know of the Mercury Space Project?
User avatar #124 to #123 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
You're most likely going to have to; everyone freshman is required to take a writing class. Mine was called Freshman Inquiry Question-based Writing Seminar (FIQWS for short). It was a pain in my asshole. And yes, Inquiry Question is redundant. Idk why they chose that name lol.

If you're referring to the early Space Race and NASA trying to put at guy into orbit around space before the Russians, then yes I know
User avatar #126 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
and yes that is the space program of which I am referencing.
User avatar #125 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Sounds like my thing, unless if the professor is a pretentious left-wing douchebag who'll **** on you if your work reflects anything but a positive portrayal of complete government control and Totolitarianism/Dystopian societies (Many times I have heard tales of these types of guys treating students they didn't agree with politically like **** .)
User avatar #127 to #125 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Nah that's mainly a movies thing. Most professors have to be tolerant. Mine was pretty cool. I had to write an essay about classifying things that usually people never put into categories. For example, my essay was "the three types of guitar players" (I play guitar so I have a sort of inside knowledge). The entire essay was hilarious and my professor loved it. Here's my intro paragraph:

All guitar players seem to have an air of arrogance and think that they're better than everyone else, whether they're just starting out or have been playing for years. All three believe that their guitar playing will make them popular, in one way or another. This is why I don't like guitar players even though I am one myself. Guitar players can be classified into three major categories according to how well they play and how highly they think of themselves: the attention whores, the "I'm gonna be a rock star", and the snobby musicians.
User avatar #128 to #127 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I agree with that opening 101%

Snobby musicians- Do the douchebags that bring their guitars to bonfires fall under this one?

Also, I wasn't trying to make a jab at all left-wing-ists. I have common ground with many liberal topics, even though I believe in free enterprise, capitalism, and the second ammendment.

I'd kinda put myself under liberitarian, maybe, that's as close I can think of, fiscally conservative, (Gotta admit, liberals=not the best with money Most jews are liberal, but I mean liberals in power don't spend on the right stuff )
but socially liberal i.e gay rights, ( I disagree with a lot of their other social points, but there are a good handful I completely agree with.)
What are you when it comes to politics?

Before I asked all this, I should've found out what country you're in, though, aha
User avatar #129 to #128 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Im in New York, US of A.

BTW here's my paragraph about the snobby musicians. I think it's pretty funny:

Lastly we come to the snobby 'professional' musicians. You know these too. Especially living in New York City and going to school in Manhattan, you've seen them. Their parents are artists, but at the tender age of six they had an epiphany (meaning their parents decided for them) that they're going to be professional musicians. They can be easily spotted walking out of Starbucks with a venti-sized caffe vanilla frappuccino light, 1 shot of espresso, 2 sugars, a metric ounce of soy milk, 3 drops of unicorn blood, and a sprinkle of edible gold foil no foam while on their way to the Julliard School. If you say you play guitar around them, they will quiz you. They will judge you. And if you can't repeat the D-flat-7 augmented 5th pentatonic scale in 6th position off the top of your head, they will shun you. The snobby musicians practice guitar for 19 hours a day, or until they get blisters on their blistered blisters. They are more finicky and more anal at getting a piece right than NASA is about landing a Rover on Mars. It is true that they are great musicians; I just don't think they have to be so conceited about it.


As for politics, I try not to involve myself too much in that. It's not that I'm completely ignorant; I know what each party is and what they stand for; I just don't really tend to agree with any one group and it just doesn't interest me enough.
#133 to #129 - tender (09/20/2013) [-]
Name was mentioned, TL;DR'd the **** outta here
User avatar #130 to #129 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Fave'd
I'm heading off FJ because there's a friend that need some help right now, but I want you to know you're the best conversational partner I've encountered on FJ thus far.
Continue "doing your thang", you relatable man, you.
User avatar #131 to #130 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
same here dude. Check ya around. Tell me how it goes tomorrow (Friday right?)
have fun man
User avatar #132 to #131 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
haha, of course!
User avatar #117 - pellonpoika (07/09/2013) [-]
Your gifs with source- posts are great. You earned a new subscriber, keep it up man!
User avatar #118 to #117 - swimmingprodigy (07/09/2013) [-]
when i get back from work today around 9 PM EST ill post a few more
User avatar #113 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
Hey man I know the dude below me asked but are you trading points for items ?
User avatar #114 to #113 - swimmingprodigy (05/12/2013) [-]
nah Im hoarding my points for some reason
User avatar #115 to #114 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
your choice man, cheers anyways
User avatar #109 to #108 - swimmingprodigy (09/28/2012) [-]
**** yea.

you forgot his 3rd leg which is supposed to be holding a bottle of vodka
#105 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
User avatar #107 to #106 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
Siema!
#103 - filsoc **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #104 to #103 - swimmingprodigy (08/16/2012) [-]
siema, kolego!
User avatar #87 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
I feel like I see a ******* of your comments around...
Hi swimmingprodigy ._.
User avatar #88 to #87 - swimmingprodigy (08/07/2012) [-]
it might be because I comment a ******* on most posts lol
What's up?
User avatar #89 to #88 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
Not much. Just bein' German is all. You?
User avatar #90 to #89 - swimmingprodigy (08/08/2012) [-]
eh not much. Enjoyin summer vacation in between work as much as i can
User avatar #91 to #90 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
same here. (at least I was, then I quit my job) You still in high school too?
User avatar #92 to #91 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
graduated this year. Whyd u quit?
User avatar #93 to #92 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
I was one of 4 maintenance guys. 2 of the others had mothers that worked there and the other one had special needs, so in turn, I was the only one my boss was able to express his anger towards without getting problems. Plus, one of the other guys there became a massive douche and started ignoring me after I yelled at him (He was eating ice cream during the hours we still had to work, forcing me to finish up one of the jobs that he didn't do even though I had my two cousins waiting in the parking lot with no airconditioning, [plus one is severely autistic, so he basically made my autistic cousin wait in a hot car for a while because he wanted to eat ice cream]). So after he started being a dick to me, even though he used to be one of my best friends, I decided that the pay (which was far under minimum wage) wasn't good enough, and I left. My boss was also a major douche to me on the way out, claiming I needed my hand held for everything I did, even though he always was the one interfering with what I was doing without me asking for his help.

What makes me laugh though is that I was out for one day, and when I came back the next day, my boss was complaining about how the day's job was done terribly, and that we needed to make sure we never ****** up that badly again. Or, in other words, when I'm not there, things get ****** up.
User avatar #94 to #93 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
wow, sounds like a pretty ****** story. Nice to know I dont have these problems and I work for over minimum wage pay. You should try lifeguarding. It's worth the 300 bucks u pay for the course
User avatar #95 to #94 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
Hmm... I am part Cuban... this could work
User avatar #96 to #95 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
do eet. Idk about your local area, but where I am, EVERY SINGLE YMCA is short on lifeguards so youre guaranteed a job
User avatar #97 to #96 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
But at the same time, I'd like to be able to focus on mein writing a bit. I'm still 16, so this may be one of the last few summers I have to work on my novels before constant work.. so I don't know
User avatar #98 to #97 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
you dont need constant work. ur 16 that means ur gonna be a junior right?

And u can set your own hours and it doesn't have to be constant work. For example, I only work Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays
User avatar #99 to #98 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
yeah, i guess that's true. but being a lifeguard also seems like a job that needs aLOT of fucos, which I do not have :I
User avatar #101 to #99 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
lolno.

Youre SUPPOSED to be focused, but most of the time i zone out. Actually a lot of the time i zone out. No one gives a **** . Dont worry. I highly recommend it, easiest job on the planet
User avatar #102 to #101 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
lol, very true.
There was one girl in my old school that was a big-time stoner. She even took pictures of herself with a massive bag of pot and put it on facebook. Now she's the head life guard at the pool of the town i used to live in. :P
User avatar #100 to #99 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
*focus
User avatar #86 - unncommon (07/07/2012) [-]
Someone **** all over your pillow man.
#85 - anonexplains (07/07/2012) [-]
Dude, someone made a poopie on your pillow.
#84 - spursfan **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #83 - irenecloud (07/07/2012) [-]
I shat on your pillow, dude...
Just saying.
User avatar #80 - TheAnonLord (03/25/2012) [-]
Easier to chat hear but my brother is using the PS3 right now :/
User avatar #82 to #146 - swimmingprodigy (03/25/2012) [-]
ok i successfully added you
User avatar #81 to #146 - swimmingprodigy (03/25/2012) [-]
i see. Could you type your PSN name exactly for me one more time so it's easier for me? Also, what are 'those dopes'?
User avatar #79 - redfang (03/16/2012) [-]
User avatar #78 - fizzled (03/16/2012) [-]
NIGER ****** ****** NEGRO
User avatar #76 - doctorbamf (03/16/2012) [-]
******* ******* these days...
User avatar #77 to #142 - swimmingprodigy (03/16/2012) [-]
Im sorry! I couldnt help it, your bike was just so shiny
#73 - pemdazfunny (03/16/2012) [-]
Nigeritis
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