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Rank #1495 on Comments
swimmingprodigy Avatar Level 340 Comments: Sold Soul
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:3/17/2010
Last Login:11/28/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#1496
Highest Content Rank:#341
Highest Comment Rank:#131
Content Thumbs: 18096 total,  21001 ,  2905
Comment Thumbs: 41539 total,  51647 ,  10108
Content Level Progress: 2.9% (29/1000)
Level 218 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 219 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 56.2% (562/1000)
Level 340 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 341 Comments: Sold Soul
Content Views:385137
Times Content Favorited:1901 times
Total Comments Made:14118
FJ Points:59603
Favorite Tags: a (3) | Apple (2) | epic (2) | justin (2) | lol (2) | Mario (2) | remi (2)

latest user's comments

#45 - actually yes, in the beginning. Explosive movement makes it mu… 11/27/2014 on Vandalism? We'll fix it! 0
#9 - there's ways to pick up heavy things safely if you know how. I…  [+] (2 new replies) 11/27/2014 on Vandalism? We'll fix it! 0
#10 - prettiestbutt (11/27/2014) [-]
They're yanking it.
Is not right way.
Do you dead yank 285 lbs?
User avatar #45 - swimmingprodigy (11/27/2014) [-]
actually yes, in the beginning. Explosive movement makes it much easier to get the weight off the ground in the beginning.

But I know what you're saying
#9 - big surprise that some women are actual normal people capable …  [+] (2 new replies) 11/27/2014 on Complimenting Boobs... +73
User avatar #33 - toosexyforyou (11/27/2014) [-]
Well the guy doing the prank is attractive. They wouldn't take it as kindly if he wasn't.
User avatar #24 - kalima (11/27/2014) [-]
Its hard to argue when they are nice.
#28 - just do chin-ups or assisted chin-ups if youre not strong enough 11/27/2014 on All aboard the gains train 0
#38 - "abuse" "trauma" Bitches…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/27/2014 on Cadburys -2
User avatar #50 - sagedivinity (11/27/2014) [-]
It was a joke.
#145 - thanks man. I wasn't completely serious, but that was a nice p… 11/26/2014 on Apparently the most... -1
#4 - My best friend worked at starbucks before working at a "r…  [+] (2 new replies) 11/26/2014 on Starbucks +4
#5 - Womens Study Major (11/26/2014) [-]
That's because the people who drink at starbucks don't like coffee.
User avatar #9 - aerialcharles (11/26/2014) [-]
Well yeah, people who actually like coffee go to a little mom'n'pop cafe for some bomb ass black coffee. Or maybe with a bit of cream and sugar, I won't judge.
#12 - tfw no matter how swole I get, my face will always be ugly  [+] (3 new replies) 11/26/2014 on Apparently the most... +54
#84 - zeroqp (11/26/2014) [-]
Honestly, dude... it might sound old, but it really is the inside that matters. What to me defines "attractiveness" isn't just the outside. Not even close. It's everything about who you are and how you are. If you're a cool person with a lot of self-confidense and a righteous heart, that will get you far. Even if you're ugly. You might not believe me, but most people see past that once they get to know you, if who you are is good enough.

So what does this mean? It means that if you're an asshole on the inside, no matter how attractive you look, you'll never be happy. You might get laid a lot, but it will just feel empty in the long run. You can change a lot about the appearance of yourself through clothes, hairstyles, tanning, tattoos, make-up, etc., but who you are on the inside will not only always matter more, it will also always be the hardest thing to change.

And if that's not enough for you, remember this: a person who looks positive will look inviting and confident. The easiest way to do that is just to smile a lot.

I'm guessing you're probably a teenager or slightly older than that. It's in those ages that we mostly look at how a person looks and are too immature to really get to know eachother and get to know ourselves. But it will get better in time.

If you weren't completely serious about what you wrote, I hope my text can at least be a little bit inspiring to read just in itself. Either case, I hope it helps whoever else feel better about him- or herself.
User avatar #145 - swimmingprodigy (11/26/2014) [-]
thanks man. I wasn't completely serious, but that was a nice pick-me up/reminder about what's important in life anyway
#75 - thasuperpimp (11/26/2014) [-]
#14 - I'd buy the "gettin swole" one (it's on the website,… 11/26/2014 on 4chan designs moar shirts 0
#11 - tfw I dont know how to make friends like that 11/26/2014 on Brotherhood 0
#17 - MS Paint skills off the ****** walls  [+] (1 new reply) 11/25/2014 on Silly Cunt +48
#18 - martinfreeman (11/25/2014) [-]
about time someone noticed my epic skills.
#23 - bruh. Im not even sure what you're saying. Are you saying …  [+] (1 new reply) 11/25/2014 on Adolf thread? -1
User avatar #24 - internetexplain (11/25/2014) [-]
that's modern day poland faggot , the pic he rolled is clearly poland during the age of imperialism.
#21 - >Considering that's poland Are you retarded?  [+] (3 new replies) 11/25/2014 on Adolf thread? -1
User avatar #22 - internetexplain (11/25/2014) [-]
>unable to reverse image search
>bait this weak

#23 - swimmingprodigy (11/25/2014) [-]
bruh. Im not even sure what you're saying.
Are you saying that's bait?
Or that because you reverse image searched it and it told u it's poland, u think it's poland?

Poland looks like this
User avatar #24 - internetexplain (11/25/2014) [-]
that's modern day poland faggot , the pic he rolled is clearly poland during the age of imperialism.
#24 - Oh ok I didnt see the whole video so I didnt know it was a rap battle 11/25/2014 on Ispithotfire be like 0
#51 - >implying I talk to girls 11/24/2014 on addy's sunday challenge 0
#11 - I have no idea. What he says doesnt even make sense. "Her…  [+] (4 new replies) 11/24/2014 on Ispithotfire be like -1
User avatar #21 - lipshinuken (11/24/2014) [-]
They're trying to humiliate the guy trying to rap. Just making him seem pathetic even though he's much better and actually trying to win. It's like an example of peer pressure I guess
User avatar #16 - mypickinuraxe (11/24/2014) [-]
It's supposed to be a joke. The other dude in the video is actually rapping and putting thought into his words, and the other dude is just saying random shit while his nig-nog gang backs him up. Its a metaphor, like you don't have to be good to be a rapper, you just need a fanbase or something.
User avatar #24 - swimmingprodigy (11/25/2014) [-]
Oh ok I didnt see the whole video so I didnt know it was a rap battle
User avatar #14 - zxczero (11/24/2014) [-]
me neither but it is funny because the way the black react
#9 - jokexplain, I dont understand the original video. The…  [+] (7 new replies) 11/24/2014 on Ispithotfire be like +1
User avatar #15 - derfmasterx (11/24/2014) [-]
The video is making the statement that you don't have to be a good rapper to get the fame, you just need a fucking posse to back you up
User avatar #10 - zxczero (11/24/2014) [-]
it isn't everyone is just playing along
like, nigger-irony. nigrony
User avatar #11 - swimmingprodigy (11/24/2014) [-]
I have no idea. What he says doesnt even make sense. "Here's her number; psych that's the wrong number". Wtf kind of autist says something like that? Is that a joke? I dont get it at all
User avatar #21 - lipshinuken (11/24/2014) [-]
They're trying to humiliate the guy trying to rap. Just making him seem pathetic even though he's much better and actually trying to win. It's like an example of peer pressure I guess
User avatar #16 - mypickinuraxe (11/24/2014) [-]
It's supposed to be a joke. The other dude in the video is actually rapping and putting thought into his words, and the other dude is just saying random shit while his nig-nog gang backs him up. Its a metaphor, like you don't have to be good to be a rapper, you just need a fanbase or something.
User avatar #24 - swimmingprodigy (11/25/2014) [-]
Oh ok I didnt see the whole video so I didnt know it was a rap battle
User avatar #14 - zxczero (11/24/2014) [-]
me neither but it is funny because the way the black react
#110 - its an app called yik yak. Basically like 4chan without pictur… 11/24/2014 on 5000 Words -1
#21 - THANK YOU HUNGRY SKELETON 11/24/2014 on For Halloween... +4
#94 - Slovaks are squares, Slavs are rectangles. All square… 11/23/2014 on Someone stabilized this for... +2
#45 - Ya a lot of people have that problem, that would be low flexib… 11/23/2014 on Workout: Day 1 0
#65 - Picture  [+] (10 new replies) 11/23/2014 on Someone stabilized this for... +7
User avatar #76 - privatepumpanickel (11/23/2014) [-]
what is Slav?
User avatar #96 - technobanana (11/24/2014) [-]
User avatar #97 - privatepumpanickel (11/26/2014) [-]
you thumbed me down yet you were wrong yourself. *smears truth in technobanana's face*
User avatar #81 - nattsvermer (11/23/2014) [-]
A Slav is one of the Slavic people, i.e people who speak a language belonging to the Slavic Language Group. So, Russians, Polish people, Serbians, Czechs etc.
User avatar #89 - privatepumpanickel (11/23/2014) [-]
Thankyou for your knowledge sir. I'm so surprised at FJ for thumbing me down for simply not knowing something..
User avatar #92 - nattsvermer (11/23/2014) [-]
No problem. If you don't know something, I belive it's only fair to ask.
I guess some are more intolerant towards lack of knowledge than others.
#80 - technobanana (11/23/2014) [-]
Maybe.. just maybe people from slovakia?
User avatar #84 - kommandantvideo (11/23/2014) [-]
Nope, those would be Slovaks. Not Slavs. Though Slovaks are Slavs, but not all Slavs are Slovaks
User avatar #87 - technobanana (11/23/2014) [-]
User avatar #94 - swimmingprodigy (11/23/2014) [-]
Slovaks are squares, Slavs are rectangles.

All squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares
#124 - 2edgy4me 11/23/2014 on Fortuna 0
#16 - Completely forgot about that part of the video. Whoops. 11/23/2014 on (untitled) 0
#43 - Only in the squat rack. But seriously, I don't d… 11/23/2014 on Workout: Day 1 0
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User avatar #134 - swimmingprodigy (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 86**
User avatar #135 to #134 - swimmingprodigy (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 01**
User avatar #119 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Trying to ask everyone I encounter on here, haha.
I started a creative writing channel, to share and provide criticism on stories.
You write? Would love some contributors.
User avatar #120 to #119 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Well I''ve been told by many people that I'm an awesome writer, but I guess that's only when I have to be; in all honesty I hate writing with a burning passion. I'm not creative at all, I have no imagination, and I'm more of a science person.
User avatar #121 to #120 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I've been told the same.
I'm creative, but my problem is my ideas sounding cool to all my friends (My current project is a source mod, but I'm writing it first.) Friends ******* ate up the concept and said I pitched it very well, but the things I think of are in my head just developing in there, so I've got soo much detail when I finally explain it to someone. I felt like I sounded high (My pills don't count as high, that ****** just there to calm me down. don't change my thoughts and I'm more concentrated so if anything it helps.)

Do you also have this problem with conveying your concepts after they've just been festering in your head? It's a really frustrating thing to happen and by the time I have it ready to write I don't know where to start, but I still remember every last little detail that I think of.
Sorry for getting ******* off-topic, sheesh, I'm a rambler, skipped the pill this morning.
Sorry if a waste of time.

By the way, depending on what kind of science you're into, (Aeronautics for me, especially, and weapon-science) I could tell you about my story concept.
It involves a space program, but it's action/horror-ish.
Also, main character sports a Mercury spaceuit (best spacesuit) and the MBA GyroJet as signature weapon (because it can fire in space).
If you'd bare with me, I could find you the one I'd written down previously.
Just warning you now though, it's a ******* run on sentence, I was in no way in the mood to tackle the entire story or oragnize my thoughts, so I just jotted down main ideas basically.
#122 to #121 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
I find when I'm writing essays for school I'll think of an epic line that I want to use in like a minute or two, and then I forget it and I'm so pissed at myself because nothing else sounds a good as what I originally planned. But I'm never written anything nearly as long as what you're describing, so I can't relate. Longest thing I've ever written was a 22-paged technical description of the longboard I made from scratch last summer.

As for the science I'm into; Im mainly into cars (that's my hobby) but when I was little I was really interested in military aircraft because I always wanted to be an Air Force Pilot. Now my major in college is civil engineering so I focus mainly on buildings. But I do know a lot about space because that interested me too when I was a kid. I used to read ******** of books when I was little; my friends say I'm like a walking encyclopedia. I just know tons of facts about everything. I would kick ass at Jeopardy
#123 to #122 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
10/10 seems like a pretty cool dude. We could definitely get along.

And that was a very frustrating thing for me, too, but doesn't even happen very often anymore, so I am glad I am able to remember so that I am not pressured to write it right on the spot.

I am planning on taking a creative-writing class once I go to college.
Kinda bothers me that they have stuff like Japanese, but they can't have a creative-writing class.

And I assume then that you know of the Mercury Space Project?
User avatar #124 to #123 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
You're most likely going to have to; everyone freshman is required to take a writing class. Mine was called Freshman Inquiry Question-based Writing Seminar (FIQWS for short). It was a pain in my asshole. And yes, Inquiry Question is redundant. Idk why they chose that name lol.

If you're referring to the early Space Race and NASA trying to put at guy into orbit around space before the Russians, then yes I know
User avatar #126 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
and yes that is the space program of which I am referencing.
User avatar #125 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Sounds like my thing, unless if the professor is a pretentious left-wing douchebag who'll **** on you if your work reflects anything but a positive portrayal of complete government control and Totolitarianism/Dystopian societies (Many times I have heard tales of these types of guys treating students they didn't agree with politically like **** .)
User avatar #127 to #125 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Nah that's mainly a movies thing. Most professors have to be tolerant. Mine was pretty cool. I had to write an essay about classifying things that usually people never put into categories. For example, my essay was "the three types of guitar players" (I play guitar so I have a sort of inside knowledge). The entire essay was hilarious and my professor loved it. Here's my intro paragraph:

All guitar players seem to have an air of arrogance and think that they're better than everyone else, whether they're just starting out or have been playing for years. All three believe that their guitar playing will make them popular, in one way or another. This is why I don't like guitar players even though I am one myself. Guitar players can be classified into three major categories according to how well they play and how highly they think of themselves: the attention whores, the "I'm gonna be a rock star", and the snobby musicians.
User avatar #128 to #127 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I agree with that opening 101%

Snobby musicians- Do the douchebags that bring their guitars to bonfires fall under this one?

Also, I wasn't trying to make a jab at all left-wing-ists. I have common ground with many liberal topics, even though I believe in free enterprise, capitalism, and the second ammendment.

I'd kinda put myself under liberitarian, maybe, that's as close I can think of, fiscally conservative, (Gotta admit, liberals=not the best with money Most jews are liberal, but I mean liberals in power don't spend on the right stuff )
but socially liberal i.e gay rights, ( I disagree with a lot of their other social points, but there are a good handful I completely agree with.)
What are you when it comes to politics?

Before I asked all this, I should've found out what country you're in, though, aha
User avatar #129 to #128 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Im in New York, US of A.

BTW here's my paragraph about the snobby musicians. I think it's pretty funny:

Lastly we come to the snobby 'professional' musicians. You know these too. Especially living in New York City and going to school in Manhattan, you've seen them. Their parents are artists, but at the tender age of six they had an epiphany (meaning their parents decided for them) that they're going to be professional musicians. They can be easily spotted walking out of Starbucks with a venti-sized caffe vanilla frappuccino light, 1 shot of espresso, 2 sugars, a metric ounce of soy milk, 3 drops of unicorn blood, and a sprinkle of edible gold foil no foam while on their way to the Julliard School. If you say you play guitar around them, they will quiz you. They will judge you. And if you can't repeat the D-flat-7 augmented 5th pentatonic scale in 6th position off the top of your head, they will shun you. The snobby musicians practice guitar for 19 hours a day, or until they get blisters on their blistered blisters. They are more finicky and more anal at getting a piece right than NASA is about landing a Rover on Mars. It is true that they are great musicians; I just don't think they have to be so conceited about it.

As for politics, I try not to involve myself too much in that. It's not that I'm completely ignorant; I know what each party is and what they stand for; I just don't really tend to agree with any one group and it just doesn't interest me enough.
#133 to #129 - tender (09/20/2013) [-]
Name was mentioned, TL;DR'd the **** outta here
User avatar #130 to #129 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I'm heading off FJ because there's a friend that need some help right now, but I want you to know you're the best conversational partner I've encountered on FJ thus far.
Continue "doing your thang", you relatable man, you.
User avatar #131 to #130 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
same here dude. Check ya around. Tell me how it goes tomorrow (Friday right?)
have fun man
User avatar #132 to #131 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
haha, of course!
User avatar #117 - pellonpoika (07/09/2013) [-]
Your gifs with source- posts are great. You earned a new subscriber, keep it up man!
User avatar #118 to #117 - swimmingprodigy (07/09/2013) [-]
when i get back from work today around 9 PM EST ill post a few more
User avatar #113 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
Hey man I know the dude below me asked but are you trading points for items ?
User avatar #114 to #113 - swimmingprodigy (05/12/2013) [-]
nah Im hoarding my points for some reason
User avatar #115 to #114 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
your choice man, cheers anyways
User avatar #109 to #108 - swimmingprodigy (09/28/2012) [-]
**** yea.

you forgot his 3rd leg which is supposed to be holding a bottle of vodka
#105 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
User avatar #107 to #106 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
#103 - filsoc **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #104 to #103 - swimmingprodigy (08/16/2012) [-]
siema, kolego!
User avatar #87 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
I feel like I see a ******* of your comments around...
Hi swimmingprodigy ._.
User avatar #88 to #87 - swimmingprodigy (08/07/2012) [-]
it might be because I comment a ******* on most posts lol
What's up?
User avatar #89 to #88 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
Not much. Just bein' German is all. You?
User avatar #90 to #89 - swimmingprodigy (08/08/2012) [-]
eh not much. Enjoyin summer vacation in between work as much as i can
User avatar #91 to #90 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
same here. (at least I was, then I quit my job) You still in high school too?
User avatar #92 to #91 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
graduated this year. Whyd u quit?
User avatar #93 to #92 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
I was one of 4 maintenance guys. 2 of the others had mothers that worked there and the other one had special needs, so in turn, I was the only one my boss was able to express his anger towards without getting problems. Plus, one of the other guys there became a massive douche and started ignoring me after I yelled at him (He was eating ice cream during the hours we still had to work, forcing me to finish up one of the jobs that he didn't do even though I had my two cousins waiting in the parking lot with no airconditioning, [plus one is severely autistic, so he basically made my autistic cousin wait in a hot car for a while because he wanted to eat ice cream]). So after he started being a dick to me, even though he used to be one of my best friends, I decided that the pay (which was far under minimum wage) wasn't good enough, and I left. My boss was also a major douche to me on the way out, claiming I needed my hand held for everything I did, even though he always was the one interfering with what I was doing without me asking for his help.

What makes me laugh though is that I was out for one day, and when I came back the next day, my boss was complaining about how the day's job was done terribly, and that we needed to make sure we never ****** up that badly again. Or, in other words, when I'm not there, things get ****** up.
User avatar #94 to #93 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
wow, sounds like a pretty ****** story. Nice to know I dont have these problems and I work for over minimum wage pay. You should try lifeguarding. It's worth the 300 bucks u pay for the course
User avatar #95 to #94 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
Hmm... I am part Cuban... this could work
User avatar #96 to #95 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
do eet. Idk about your local area, but where I am, EVERY SINGLE YMCA is short on lifeguards so youre guaranteed a job
User avatar #97 to #96 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
But at the same time, I'd like to be able to focus on mein writing a bit. I'm still 16, so this may be one of the last few summers I have to work on my novels before constant work.. so I don't know
User avatar #98 to #97 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
you dont need constant work. ur 16 that means ur gonna be a junior right?

And u can set your own hours and it doesn't have to be constant work. For example, I only work Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays
User avatar #99 to #98 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
yeah, i guess that's true. but being a lifeguard also seems like a job that needs aLOT of fucos, which I do not have :I
User avatar #101 to #99 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]

Youre SUPPOSED to be focused, but most of the time i zone out. Actually a lot of the time i zone out. No one gives a **** . Dont worry. I highly recommend it, easiest job on the planet
User avatar #102 to #101 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
lol, very true.
There was one girl in my old school that was a big-time stoner. She even took pictures of herself with a massive bag of pot and put it on facebook. Now she's the head life guard at the pool of the town i used to live in. :P
User avatar #100 to #99 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
User avatar #86 - unncommon ONLINE (07/07/2012) [-]
Someone **** all over your pillow man.
#85 - Womens Study Major (07/07/2012) [-]
Dude, someone made a poopie on your pillow.
#84 - spursfan **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #83 - irenecloud (07/07/2012) [-]
I shat on your pillow, dude...
Just saying.
User avatar #80 - TheAnonLord ONLINE (03/25/2012) [-]
Easier to chat hear but my brother is using the PS3 right now :/
User avatar #82 to #146 - swimmingprodigy (03/25/2012) [-]
ok i successfully added you
User avatar #81 to #146 - swimmingprodigy (03/25/2012) [-]
i see. Could you type your PSN name exactly for me one more time so it's easier for me? Also, what are 'those dopes'?
User avatar #79 - redfang (03/16/2012) [-]
User avatar #78 - fizzled (03/16/2012) [-]
NIGER ****** ****** NEGRO
User avatar #76 - doctorbamf (03/16/2012) [-]
******* ******* these days...
User avatar #77 to #142 - swimmingprodigy (03/16/2012) [-]
Im sorry! I couldnt help it, your bike was just so shiny
#73 - pemdazfunny (03/16/2012) [-]
User avatar #71 - samxdaxman (03/16/2012) [-]
nigger nigger nigger nigger
#70 - mrteabag (03/16/2012) [-]
I'm truly sorry to say that you're a ****** .
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