Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu


Rank #872 on Comments
swimmingprodigy Avatar Level 341 Comments: Sold Soul
Send mail to swimmingprodigy Block swimmingprodigy Invite swimmingprodigy to be your friend flag avatar
Last status update:
Personal Info
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:3/17/2010
Last Login:12/27/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#12223
Comment Ranking:#872
Highest Content Rank:#341
Highest Comment Rank:#131
Content Thumbs: 18097 total,  21004 ,  2907
Comment Thumbs: 42699 total,  52885 ,  10186
Content Level Progress: 2.9% (29/1000)
Level 218 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 219 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 42.5% (425/1000)
Level 341 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 342 Comments: Sold Soul
Content Views:386275
Times Content Favorited:1901 times
Total Comments Made:14340
FJ Points:60466
Favorite Tags: a (3) | Apple (2) | epic (2) | justin (2) | lol (2) | Mario (2) | remi (2)

latest user's comments

#18 - what's this secret of which you speak? 09/25/2012 on dem sluts +2
#42 - "wtf is a kroon" HAHAH lost so hard 09/25/2012 on Jeep Comanche +1
#62 - oh wait, im an idiot. of course thats how it. friendzone, duh  [+] (3 new replies) 09/25/2012 on getting even -8
User avatar #65 - djponee (09/25/2012) [-]
Don't beat yourself up over it.
User avatar #78 - swimmingprodigy (09/25/2012) [-]
yup, FJ is doing that just fine for me with red thumbs
User avatar #89 - djponee (09/25/2012) [-]
Ahah, they're just a bunch of assholes. I never really believed in red thumbing without leaving a comment explaining why you did. Unless it's redundant, I find it pretty cowardly.

#61 - >got close to a girl >almost dating wat. th…  [+] (4 new replies) 09/25/2012 on getting even -9
User avatar #62 - swimmingprodigy (09/25/2012) [-]
oh wait, im an idiot. of course thats how it.

friendzone, duh
User avatar #65 - djponee (09/25/2012) [-]
Don't beat yourself up over it.
User avatar #78 - swimmingprodigy (09/25/2012) [-]
yup, FJ is doing that just fine for me with red thumbs
User avatar #89 - djponee (09/25/2012) [-]
Ahah, they're just a bunch of assholes. I never really believed in red thumbing without leaving a comment explaining why you did. Unless it's redundant, I find it pretty cowardly.

#255 - Today was the first time I got high. i didn't smoke the weed, … 09/24/2012 on Stoners 0
#150 - am I retarded? I dont ge tit  [+] (1 new reply) 09/23/2012 on Title 0
User avatar #151 - anonymouzx (09/23/2012) [-]
go to google and type "how to commit suicide" then go to bing and do the same thing. see the difference.
#110 - what the **** do you do? I have like 180 hours on… 09/22/2012 on Skyrim 0
#106 - siema?  [+] (1 new reply) 09/22/2012 on swimmingprodigy's profile 0
User avatar #107 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
#28 - oh wow i just read your comment and only after i submitted it … 09/22/2012 on K 0
#27 - every single Nickelback song sounds the same. Theyre not original  [+] (5 new replies) 09/22/2012 on K -1
#33 - anonymous (09/22/2012) [-]
I only listened to Hero from Nickelback , it's a preety good song imo .
User avatar #37 - terezius (09/22/2012) [-]
I like the song Flat on the Floor by Nickelback.
#35 - misteryofmisery (09/22/2012) [-]
That's not even a Nickelback song. It was a solo project song of Chad Kroger and some other guy I forgot.

I'm neither a fan nor a hater, I just don't understand. There are many bands that aren't original or even copy their own songs. I guess it's just "cool" to hate Nickelback.
User avatar #40 - RoyalNightmare (09/22/2012) [-]
Josey Scott (I think his name is). He's the frontman of a band called Saliva.
User avatar #29 - jayeti (09/22/2012) [-]
I dont really hate them and dont really like them. They are just Nickelback.
#41 - the gt500 does come supercharged stock. Thats why youre paying… 09/22/2012 on Ford Raptor Review - Great... 0
#32 - then you have no means to argue. 09/22/2012 on Ford Raptor Review - Great... +1
#30 - now THAT'S worthy of a lel. I might agree with you if… 09/22/2012 on Ford Raptor Review - Great... 0
#27 - nice argument. 09/22/2012 on Ford Raptor Review - Great... +1
#23 - sorry, couldn't hear you over the sound of the 667 HP emanatin…  [+] (3 new replies) 09/22/2012 on Ford Raptor Review - Great... +7
#39 - anonymous (09/22/2012) [-]
lol too bad they don't come supercharged stock :P so tune that back down to the 300 from it's 5 point slow and take notes :P
User avatar #43 - theoriginalzombie (09/22/2012) [-]
That's a GT500, so yes it does come supercharged stock. And the 5.0 is putting out 425 hp now. But horsepower isn't everything. The 05-10 GT's had 305 HP vs the older Cobras which ran up to 320 and they still outran them
User avatar #41 - swimmingprodigy (09/22/2012) [-]
the gt500 does come supercharged stock. Thats why youre paying nearly 60 grand for it. If there was no supercharger id get a boss 302. 444 HP there if i get the laguna seca package
#38 - of course I did. 09/22/2012 on Mexicans -5
#36 - not really that big an upgrade. It's like one of those pro…  [+] (3 new replies) 09/22/2012 on Mexicans -14
User avatar #37 - esmebuffay (09/22/2012) [-]
Not sure if you know I'm joking, but I'm assuming you do.
#40 - therealmethlab (09/22/2012) [-]
You get a thumb.
I've had this image for a bit, not sure when I'll be able to post it so I'll just post it...
User avatar #38 - swimmingprodigy (09/22/2012) [-]
of course I did.
#18 - cuz he wanted him to be a real boy 09/21/2012 on Clog clog clog clog -3
#56 - oh then never mind. I took algebra II/trig sophomore year,… 09/21/2012 on High School vs. College 0
#87 - So then day 2 of texting her I said that Ill gladly ***… 09/21/2012 on Ain't That Some Shit? 0
#86 - well first off, you have to start with a chick who's practical…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/21/2012 on Ain't That Some Shit? 0
#87 - swimmingprodigy (09/21/2012) [-]
So then day 2 of texting her I said that Ill gladly fuck the shit out of her for her birthday and also implied I want to be fuck buddies. She agreed to it (and then we basically had phone sex, talked about all the shit we'd do to each other which, now that i think back to how she was a virgin, was kinda funny). This included not just sex but lots of other things. Anyway; day 3 of walking her to class I asked if she'd like to get a headstart on her birthday. She said she's not ready for sex I said thats fine, just a blowjob. She agreed (to my complete suprise; i never thought that would work), she waited for my when I ended class, we went to her house, it took her like 20 minutes to build up the courage to pull my pants down, she sucked my dick, i pulled her titties out and sucked them, I went home.
We did this 3 more times, about once a week. I really wanted to fuck her but wanted to wait for her birthday. Then after we had been doing these blowjobs for a month I sensed she was growing attached and after I fucked her and made it clear once more I didnt want a relationship she would be devastated. So I left it at that and never fucked her. She's still a virgin.

I kinda regret it now (not fucking the living shit out of her, i mean). I was an asshole already; shouldve just finished the job and gotten some pussy.

but ya, that's how I did it. Im pretty sure this will never work again. Here's another pic for your enjoyment
#78 - my friend got a handjob from a flat-chested asian girl after t… 09/21/2012 on Ain't That Some Shit? 0
#51 - you're in college already? Sorry bud but that might take y…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/21/2012 on High School vs. College 0
User avatar #55 - BeaverBalls (09/21/2012) [-]
im a junior in high school
User avatar #56 - swimmingprodigy (09/21/2012) [-]
oh then never mind.
I took algebra II/trig sophomore year, AP stat junior year, calc senior year. Never took precalc and I heard from people who took it that it's useless
#46 - it's hilarious. I work in the admissions office at my sch…  [+] (4 new replies) 09/21/2012 on High School vs. College 0
User avatar #48 - BeaverBalls (09/21/2012) [-]
even though i dont have too much room to talk i have to make atleast an 80 in algebra 2 to go into pre cal (im trying to get into the medical field)
User avatar #51 - swimmingprodigy (09/21/2012) [-]
you're in college already?
Sorry bud but that might take you a while. In my school for engineering, if you dont start out in calc 1 (where I am now), ur already behind and wont graduate in 4 years without summer classes. Lucky for me i did well in the placement test and went to calc 1, i know other people who are pissed because they have to take precalc before calc1
User avatar #55 - BeaverBalls (09/21/2012) [-]
im a junior in high school
User avatar #56 - swimmingprodigy (09/21/2012) [-]
oh then never mind.
I took algebra II/trig sophomore year, AP stat junior year, calc senior year. Never took precalc and I heard from people who took it that it's useless
#71 - my school was 30% korean and another 20% were the other 'asia… 09/21/2012 on Ain't That Some Shit? 0
Sort by:


Total unique items point value: 2100 / Total items point value: 2300



Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Per page:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #137 - patriotprideboy (12/25/2014) [-]
User avatar #134 - swimmingprodigy (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 86**
User avatar #135 to #134 - swimmingprodigy (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 01**
User avatar #119 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Trying to ask everyone I encounter on here, haha.
I started a creative writing channel, to share and provide criticism on stories.
You write? Would love some contributors.
User avatar #120 to #119 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Well I''ve been told by many people that I'm an awesome writer, but I guess that's only when I have to be; in all honesty I hate writing with a burning passion. I'm not creative at all, I have no imagination, and I'm more of a science person.
User avatar #121 to #120 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I've been told the same.
I'm creative, but my problem is my ideas sounding cool to all my friends (My current project is a source mod, but I'm writing it first.) Friends ******* ate up the concept and said I pitched it very well, but the things I think of are in my head just developing in there, so I've got soo much detail when I finally explain it to someone. I felt like I sounded high (My pills don't count as high, that ****** just there to calm me down. don't change my thoughts and I'm more concentrated so if anything it helps.)

Do you also have this problem with conveying your concepts after they've just been festering in your head? It's a really frustrating thing to happen and by the time I have it ready to write I don't know where to start, but I still remember every last little detail that I think of.
Sorry for getting ******* off-topic, sheesh, I'm a rambler, skipped the pill this morning.
Sorry if a waste of time.

By the way, depending on what kind of science you're into, (Aeronautics for me, especially, and weapon-science) I could tell you about my story concept.
It involves a space program, but it's action/horror-ish.
Also, main character sports a Mercury spaceuit (best spacesuit) and the MBA GyroJet as signature weapon (because it can fire in space).
If you'd bare with me, I could find you the one I'd written down previously.
Just warning you now though, it's a ******* run on sentence, I was in no way in the mood to tackle the entire story or oragnize my thoughts, so I just jotted down main ideas basically.
#122 to #121 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
I find when I'm writing essays for school I'll think of an epic line that I want to use in like a minute or two, and then I forget it and I'm so pissed at myself because nothing else sounds a good as what I originally planned. But I'm never written anything nearly as long as what you're describing, so I can't relate. Longest thing I've ever written was a 22-paged technical description of the longboard I made from scratch last summer.

As for the science I'm into; Im mainly into cars (that's my hobby) but when I was little I was really interested in military aircraft because I always wanted to be an Air Force Pilot. Now my major in college is civil engineering so I focus mainly on buildings. But I do know a lot about space because that interested me too when I was a kid. I used to read ******** of books when I was little; my friends say I'm like a walking encyclopedia. I just know tons of facts about everything. I would kick ass at Jeopardy
#123 to #122 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
10/10 seems like a pretty cool dude. We could definitely get along.

And that was a very frustrating thing for me, too, but doesn't even happen very often anymore, so I am glad I am able to remember so that I am not pressured to write it right on the spot.

I am planning on taking a creative-writing class once I go to college.
Kinda bothers me that they have stuff like Japanese, but they can't have a creative-writing class.

And I assume then that you know of the Mercury Space Project?
User avatar #124 to #123 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
You're most likely going to have to; everyone freshman is required to take a writing class. Mine was called Freshman Inquiry Question-based Writing Seminar (FIQWS for short). It was a pain in my asshole. And yes, Inquiry Question is redundant. Idk why they chose that name lol.

If you're referring to the early Space Race and NASA trying to put at guy into orbit around space before the Russians, then yes I know
User avatar #126 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
and yes that is the space program of which I am referencing.
User avatar #125 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Sounds like my thing, unless if the professor is a pretentious left-wing douchebag who'll **** on you if your work reflects anything but a positive portrayal of complete government control and Totolitarianism/Dystopian societies (Many times I have heard tales of these types of guys treating students they didn't agree with politically like **** .)
User avatar #127 to #125 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Nah that's mainly a movies thing. Most professors have to be tolerant. Mine was pretty cool. I had to write an essay about classifying things that usually people never put into categories. For example, my essay was "the three types of guitar players" (I play guitar so I have a sort of inside knowledge). The entire essay was hilarious and my professor loved it. Here's my intro paragraph:

All guitar players seem to have an air of arrogance and think that they're better than everyone else, whether they're just starting out or have been playing for years. All three believe that their guitar playing will make them popular, in one way or another. This is why I don't like guitar players even though I am one myself. Guitar players can be classified into three major categories according to how well they play and how highly they think of themselves: the attention whores, the "I'm gonna be a rock star", and the snobby musicians.
User avatar #128 to #127 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I agree with that opening 101%

Snobby musicians- Do the douchebags that bring their guitars to bonfires fall under this one?

Also, I wasn't trying to make a jab at all left-wing-ists. I have common ground with many liberal topics, even though I believe in free enterprise, capitalism, and the second ammendment.

I'd kinda put myself under liberitarian, maybe, that's as close I can think of, fiscally conservative, (Gotta admit, liberals=not the best with money Most jews are liberal, but I mean liberals in power don't spend on the right stuff )
but socially liberal i.e gay rights, ( I disagree with a lot of their other social points, but there are a good handful I completely agree with.)
What are you when it comes to politics?

Before I asked all this, I should've found out what country you're in, though, aha
User avatar #129 to #128 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Im in New York, US of A.

BTW here's my paragraph about the snobby musicians. I think it's pretty funny:

Lastly we come to the snobby 'professional' musicians. You know these too. Especially living in New York City and going to school in Manhattan, you've seen them. Their parents are artists, but at the tender age of six they had an epiphany (meaning their parents decided for them) that they're going to be professional musicians. They can be easily spotted walking out of Starbucks with a venti-sized caffe vanilla frappuccino light, 1 shot of espresso, 2 sugars, a metric ounce of soy milk, 3 drops of unicorn blood, and a sprinkle of edible gold foil no foam while on their way to the Julliard School. If you say you play guitar around them, they will quiz you. They will judge you. And if you can't repeat the D-flat-7 augmented 5th pentatonic scale in 6th position off the top of your head, they will shun you. The snobby musicians practice guitar for 19 hours a day, or until they get blisters on their blistered blisters. They are more finicky and more anal at getting a piece right than NASA is about landing a Rover on Mars. It is true that they are great musicians; I just don't think they have to be so conceited about it.

As for politics, I try not to involve myself too much in that. It's not that I'm completely ignorant; I know what each party is and what they stand for; I just don't really tend to agree with any one group and it just doesn't interest me enough.
#133 to #129 - tender (09/20/2013) [-]
Name was mentioned, TL;DR'd the **** outta here
User avatar #130 to #129 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I'm heading off FJ because there's a friend that need some help right now, but I want you to know you're the best conversational partner I've encountered on FJ thus far.
Continue "doing your thang", you relatable man, you.
User avatar #131 to #130 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
same here dude. Check ya around. Tell me how it goes tomorrow (Friday right?)
have fun man
User avatar #132 to #131 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
haha, of course!
User avatar #117 - pellonpoika (07/09/2013) [-]
Your gifs with source- posts are great. You earned a new subscriber, keep it up man!
User avatar #118 to #117 - swimmingprodigy (07/09/2013) [-]
when i get back from work today around 9 PM EST ill post a few more
User avatar #113 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
Hey man I know the dude below me asked but are you trading points for items ?
User avatar #114 to #113 - swimmingprodigy (05/12/2013) [-]
nah Im hoarding my points for some reason
User avatar #115 to #114 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
your choice man, cheers anyways
User avatar #109 to #108 - swimmingprodigy (09/28/2012) [-]
**** yea.

you forgot his 3rd leg which is supposed to be holding a bottle of vodka
#105 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
User avatar #107 to #106 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
#103 - filsoc **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #104 to #103 - swimmingprodigy (08/16/2012) [-]
siema, kolego!
User avatar #87 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
I feel like I see a ******* of your comments around...
Hi swimmingprodigy ._.
User avatar #88 to #87 - swimmingprodigy (08/07/2012) [-]
it might be because I comment a ******* on most posts lol
What's up?
User avatar #89 to #88 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
Not much. Just bein' German is all. You?
User avatar #90 to #89 - swimmingprodigy (08/08/2012) [-]
eh not much. Enjoyin summer vacation in between work as much as i can
User avatar #91 to #90 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
same here. (at least I was, then I quit my job) You still in high school too?
User avatar #92 to #91 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
graduated this year. Whyd u quit?
User avatar #93 to #92 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
I was one of 4 maintenance guys. 2 of the others had mothers that worked there and the other one had special needs, so in turn, I was the only one my boss was able to express his anger towards without getting problems. Plus, one of the other guys there became a massive douche and started ignoring me after I yelled at him (He was eating ice cream during the hours we still had to work, forcing me to finish up one of the jobs that he didn't do even though I had my two cousins waiting in the parking lot with no airconditioning, [plus one is severely autistic, so he basically made my autistic cousin wait in a hot car for a while because he wanted to eat ice cream]). So after he started being a dick to me, even though he used to be one of my best friends, I decided that the pay (which was far under minimum wage) wasn't good enough, and I left. My boss was also a major douche to me on the way out, claiming I needed my hand held for everything I did, even though he always was the one interfering with what I was doing without me asking for his help.

What makes me laugh though is that I was out for one day, and when I came back the next day, my boss was complaining about how the day's job was done terribly, and that we needed to make sure we never ****** up that badly again. Or, in other words, when I'm not there, things get ****** up.
User avatar #94 to #93 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
wow, sounds like a pretty ****** story. Nice to know I dont have these problems and I work for over minimum wage pay. You should try lifeguarding. It's worth the 300 bucks u pay for the course
User avatar #95 to #94 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
Hmm... I am part Cuban... this could work
User avatar #96 to #95 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
do eet. Idk about your local area, but where I am, EVERY SINGLE YMCA is short on lifeguards so youre guaranteed a job
User avatar #97 to #96 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
But at the same time, I'd like to be able to focus on mein writing a bit. I'm still 16, so this may be one of the last few summers I have to work on my novels before constant work.. so I don't know
User avatar #98 to #97 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
you dont need constant work. ur 16 that means ur gonna be a junior right?

And u can set your own hours and it doesn't have to be constant work. For example, I only work Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays
User avatar #99 to #98 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
yeah, i guess that's true. but being a lifeguard also seems like a job that needs aLOT of fucos, which I do not have :I
User avatar #101 to #99 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]

Youre SUPPOSED to be focused, but most of the time i zone out. Actually a lot of the time i zone out. No one gives a **** . Dont worry. I highly recommend it, easiest job on the planet
User avatar #102 to #101 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
lol, very true.
There was one girl in my old school that was a big-time stoner. She even took pictures of herself with a massive bag of pot and put it on facebook. Now she's the head life guard at the pool of the town i used to live in. :P
User avatar #100 to #99 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
User avatar #86 - unncommon (07/07/2012) [-]
Someone **** all over your pillow man.
#85 - anonymous (07/07/2012) [-]
Dude, someone made a poopie on your pillow.
#84 - spursfan **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #83 - irenecloud (07/07/2012) [-]
I shat on your pillow, dude...
Just saying.
User avatar #80 - TheAnonLord (03/25/2012) [-]
Easier to chat hear but my brother is using the PS3 right now :/
User avatar #82 to #146 - swimmingprodigy (03/25/2012) [-]
ok i successfully added you
User avatar #81 to #146 - swimmingprodigy (03/25/2012) [-]
i see. Could you type your PSN name exactly for me one more time so it's easier for me? Also, what are 'those dopes'?
User avatar #79 - redfang (03/16/2012) [-]
User avatar #78 - fizzled (03/16/2012) [-]
NIGER ****** ****** NEGRO
User avatar #76 - doctorbamf (03/16/2012) [-]
******* ******* these days...
User avatar #77 to #142 - swimmingprodigy (03/16/2012) [-]
Im sorry! I couldnt help it, your bike was just so shiny
#73 - pemdazfunny (03/16/2012) [-]
User avatar #71 - samxdaxman (03/16/2012) [-]
nigger nigger nigger nigger
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)