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Rank #2749 on Comments
swimmingprodigy Avatar Level 339 Comments: Practically Famous
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:3/17/2010
Last Login:10/22/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#2749
Highest Content Rank:#341
Highest Comment Rank:#131
Content Thumbs: 18095 total,  21000 ,  2905
Comment Thumbs: 40547 total,  50530 ,  9983
Content Level Progress: 2.8% (28/1000)
Level 218 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 219 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 82.1% (821/1000)
Level 339 Comments: Practically Famous → Level 340 Comments: Sold Soul
Content Views:384573
Times Content Favorited:1902 times
Total Comments Made:13940
FJ Points:58861
Favorite Tags: a (3) | Apple (2) | epic (2) | justin (2) | lol (2) | Mario (2) | remi (2)

latest user's comments

#36 - I forgot to check my privileges today. Am I going to jail? 08/01/2014 on :0 +1
#18 - no idea why I laughed as hard as I did 08/01/2014 on Russian Mario Bros +1
#31 - >putting this much effort into getting some poon  [+] (2 new replies) 08/01/2014 on :0 0
User avatar #34 - vermillionbobcat (08/01/2014) [-]
Its necessary nowadays. Any other way and we're rapists.
User avatar #36 - swimmingprodigy (08/01/2014) [-]
I forgot to check my privileges today. Am I going to jail?
#46 - 1600 is not very out of the ordinary. And actually 2000 is rec… 07/29/2014 on (untitled) 0
#30 - Just drop you calorie intake by a couple hundred.  [+] (2 new replies) 07/29/2014 on (untitled) 0
User avatar #32 - chrisel (07/29/2014) [-]
1600 is few, 2000 is recommended for women and 2500 for men, I think the problem is that you don't take enough calories and that could make exercising difficult. Though I'm not a specialist and don't have experience with losing weight so I might not be an good source for information on this topic.
User avatar #46 - swimmingprodigy (07/29/2014) [-]
1600 is not very out of the ordinary. And actually 2000 is recommended for men but this is sort of wrong because it varies wildly based on height and weight.

If you want to gain weight then you add about 500-1000 calories per day to your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) which is the amount of calories necessary to maintain current body weight.

If you want to lose weight the you drop about 500-1000 cals per day off your TDEE.

Your TDEE varies greatly based on age, height, weight, and activity levels. You must use a calculator to calculate it and probably the most accurate one is here

#29 - She read the /fit/ sticky 07/29/2014 on (untitled) 0
#3 - Cant flim flam the zim zam 07/28/2014 on Anon Goes to a Mexican... +33
#184 - Are you high? They look nothing alike 07/28/2014 on celebrities and pornstars... 0
#21 - how'd you know where to send it?  [+] (1 new reply) 07/28/2014 on python strike +1
User avatar #34 - krayon (07/28/2014) [-]
TTM it's a through the mail website that has player addresses with success rates and which ones work which don't
#13 - Are you trying to imply that Tom Selleck can't rock a mustache?  [+] (1 new reply) 07/27/2014 on Fedora up my friends +1
User avatar #45 - plumpbooty (07/27/2014) [-]
Tom Selleck is basically a much better Burt Reynolds.
#992 - 115 oops 07/27/2014 on How privileged are you? 0
#32 - we don't talk about /fit/ here 07/25/2014 on Keep staring +3
#106 - This is America, not the KGB we're talking about 07/25/2014 on Self Control is strong in... +4
#142 - not sure what your point is. 07/24/2014 on remember when.. 0
#95 - The Iranian plane got shot down because of a mistake. It was n…  [+] (4 new replies) 07/24/2014 on remember when.. +1
#101 - shadownigga (07/24/2014) [-]
User avatar #142 - swimmingprodigy (07/24/2014) [-]
not sure what your point is.
#106 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/24/2014) [-]
on a radar it shows the same thing ( not a radar specialest in anyway) but i assume that was the case also, when a jet is coming at you warship you normally dont ask questions until after you fire.
User avatar #116 - toastahs (07/24/2014) [-]
pretty sure he was being sarcastic
>no anti-ship capabilities
#350 - >rice and tuna >not eating Top Ramen everyday like K… 07/24/2014 on describe your daily routine 0
#5033 - thanks 07/18/2014 on Open up to your family 0
#5023 - I have been trying on Tinder. Hmm  [+] (2 new replies) 07/18/2014 on Open up to your family 0
User avatar #5032 - burdensomebucket (07/18/2014) [-]
Wish you the best of luck mate
User avatar #5033 - swimmingprodigy (07/18/2014) [-]
#5016 - >tfw work in a pool and barely any qt3.14s come to swim laps  [+] (4 new replies) 07/18/2014 on Open up to your family 0
User avatar #5017 - burdensomebucket (07/18/2014) [-]
fuck... Internet dating?
Tell them your a lifeguard chicks get all over that shit
User avatar #5023 - swimmingprodigy (07/18/2014) [-]
I have been trying on Tinder. Hmm
User avatar #5032 - burdensomebucket (07/18/2014) [-]
Wish you the best of luck mate
User avatar #5033 - swimmingprodigy (07/18/2014) [-]
#4938 - 19 Lifeguard >tfwnogf  [+] (6 new replies) 07/18/2014 on Open up to your family +1
User avatar #5010 - burdensomebucket (07/18/2014) [-]
>Hatch devious plan to lure hot girl into a riptide
>Save hot girl's life
>Tell her she can repay you by having dinner with you

Worked for my business teacher. Hes still married to her.
User avatar #5016 - swimmingprodigy (07/18/2014) [-]
>tfw work in a pool and barely any qt3.14s come to swim laps
User avatar #5017 - burdensomebucket (07/18/2014) [-]
fuck... Internet dating?
Tell them your a lifeguard chicks get all over that shit
User avatar #5023 - swimmingprodigy (07/18/2014) [-]
I have been trying on Tinder. Hmm
User avatar #5032 - burdensomebucket (07/18/2014) [-]
Wish you the best of luck mate
User avatar #5033 - swimmingprodigy (07/18/2014) [-]
#21 - That shouldve been the illest yellow card. Clearly intentional… 07/16/2014 on Seems legit +2
#726 - **swimmingprodigy rolls 506** 07/16/2014 on roll your boat 0
#725 - **swimmingprodigy rolls 810**  [+] (1 new reply) 07/16/2014 on roll your boat 0
User avatar #726 - swimmingprodigy (07/16/2014) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 506**
#724 - **swimmingprodigy rolls 890**  [+] (2 new replies) 07/16/2014 on roll your boat 0
User avatar #725 - swimmingprodigy (07/16/2014) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 810**
User avatar #726 - swimmingprodigy (07/16/2014) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 506**
#723 - **swimmingprodigy rolls 419**  [+] (3 new replies) 07/16/2014 on roll your boat 0
User avatar #724 - swimmingprodigy (07/16/2014) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 890**
User avatar #725 - swimmingprodigy (07/16/2014) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 810**
User avatar #726 - swimmingprodigy (07/16/2014) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 506**
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User avatar #134 - swimmingprodigy (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 86**
User avatar #135 to #134 - swimmingprodigy (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 01**
User avatar #119 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Trying to ask everyone I encounter on here, haha.
I started a creative writing channel, to share and provide criticism on stories.
You write? Would love some contributors.
User avatar #120 to #119 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Well I''ve been told by many people that I'm an awesome writer, but I guess that's only when I have to be; in all honesty I hate writing with a burning passion. I'm not creative at all, I have no imagination, and I'm more of a science person.
User avatar #121 to #120 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I've been told the same.
I'm creative, but my problem is my ideas sounding cool to all my friends (My current project is a source mod, but I'm writing it first.) Friends ******* ate up the concept and said I pitched it very well, but the things I think of are in my head just developing in there, so I've got soo much detail when I finally explain it to someone. I felt like I sounded high (My pills don't count as high, that ****** just there to calm me down. don't change my thoughts and I'm more concentrated so if anything it helps.)

Do you also have this problem with conveying your concepts after they've just been festering in your head? It's a really frustrating thing to happen and by the time I have it ready to write I don't know where to start, but I still remember every last little detail that I think of.
Sorry for getting ******* off-topic, sheesh, I'm a rambler, skipped the pill this morning.
Sorry if a waste of time.

By the way, depending on what kind of science you're into, (Aeronautics for me, especially, and weapon-science) I could tell you about my story concept.
It involves a space program, but it's action/horror-ish.
Also, main character sports a Mercury spaceuit (best spacesuit) and the MBA GyroJet as signature weapon (because it can fire in space).
If you'd bare with me, I could find you the one I'd written down previously.
Just warning you now though, it's a ******* run on sentence, I was in no way in the mood to tackle the entire story or oragnize my thoughts, so I just jotted down main ideas basically.
#122 to #121 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
I find when I'm writing essays for school I'll think of an epic line that I want to use in like a minute or two, and then I forget it and I'm so pissed at myself because nothing else sounds a good as what I originally planned. But I'm never written anything nearly as long as what you're describing, so I can't relate. Longest thing I've ever written was a 22-paged technical description of the longboard I made from scratch last summer.

As for the science I'm into; Im mainly into cars (that's my hobby) but when I was little I was really interested in military aircraft because I always wanted to be an Air Force Pilot. Now my major in college is civil engineering so I focus mainly on buildings. But I do know a lot about space because that interested me too when I was a kid. I used to read ******** of books when I was little; my friends say I'm like a walking encyclopedia. I just know tons of facts about everything. I would kick ass at Jeopardy
#123 to #122 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
10/10 seems like a pretty cool dude. We could definitely get along.

And that was a very frustrating thing for me, too, but doesn't even happen very often anymore, so I am glad I am able to remember so that I am not pressured to write it right on the spot.

I am planning on taking a creative-writing class once I go to college.
Kinda bothers me that they have stuff like Japanese, but they can't have a creative-writing class.

And I assume then that you know of the Mercury Space Project?
User avatar #124 to #123 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
You're most likely going to have to; everyone freshman is required to take a writing class. Mine was called Freshman Inquiry Question-based Writing Seminar (FIQWS for short). It was a pain in my asshole. And yes, Inquiry Question is redundant. Idk why they chose that name lol.

If you're referring to the early Space Race and NASA trying to put at guy into orbit around space before the Russians, then yes I know
User avatar #126 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
and yes that is the space program of which I am referencing.
User avatar #125 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Sounds like my thing, unless if the professor is a pretentious left-wing douchebag who'll **** on you if your work reflects anything but a positive portrayal of complete government control and Totolitarianism/Dystopian societies (Many times I have heard tales of these types of guys treating students they didn't agree with politically like **** .)
User avatar #127 to #125 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Nah that's mainly a movies thing. Most professors have to be tolerant. Mine was pretty cool. I had to write an essay about classifying things that usually people never put into categories. For example, my essay was "the three types of guitar players" (I play guitar so I have a sort of inside knowledge). The entire essay was hilarious and my professor loved it. Here's my intro paragraph:

All guitar players seem to have an air of arrogance and think that they're better than everyone else, whether they're just starting out or have been playing for years. All three believe that their guitar playing will make them popular, in one way or another. This is why I don't like guitar players even though I am one myself. Guitar players can be classified into three major categories according to how well they play and how highly they think of themselves: the attention whores, the "I'm gonna be a rock star", and the snobby musicians.
User avatar #128 to #127 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I agree with that opening 101%

Snobby musicians- Do the douchebags that bring their guitars to bonfires fall under this one?

Also, I wasn't trying to make a jab at all left-wing-ists. I have common ground with many liberal topics, even though I believe in free enterprise, capitalism, and the second ammendment.

I'd kinda put myself under liberitarian, maybe, that's as close I can think of, fiscally conservative, (Gotta admit, liberals=not the best with money Most jews are liberal, but I mean liberals in power don't spend on the right stuff )
but socially liberal i.e gay rights, ( I disagree with a lot of their other social points, but there are a good handful I completely agree with.)
What are you when it comes to politics?

Before I asked all this, I should've found out what country you're in, though, aha
User avatar #129 to #128 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
Im in New York, US of A.

BTW here's my paragraph about the snobby musicians. I think it's pretty funny:

Lastly we come to the snobby 'professional' musicians. You know these too. Especially living in New York City and going to school in Manhattan, you've seen them. Their parents are artists, but at the tender age of six they had an epiphany (meaning their parents decided for them) that they're going to be professional musicians. They can be easily spotted walking out of Starbucks with a venti-sized caffe vanilla frappuccino light, 1 shot of espresso, 2 sugars, a metric ounce of soy milk, 3 drops of unicorn blood, and a sprinkle of edible gold foil no foam while on their way to the Julliard School. If you say you play guitar around them, they will quiz you. They will judge you. And if you can't repeat the D-flat-7 augmented 5th pentatonic scale in 6th position off the top of your head, they will shun you. The snobby musicians practice guitar for 19 hours a day, or until they get blisters on their blistered blisters. They are more finicky and more anal at getting a piece right than NASA is about landing a Rover on Mars. It is true that they are great musicians; I just don't think they have to be so conceited about it.

As for politics, I try not to involve myself too much in that. It's not that I'm completely ignorant; I know what each party is and what they stand for; I just don't really tend to agree with any one group and it just doesn't interest me enough.
#133 to #129 - tender (09/20/2013) [-]
Name was mentioned, TL;DR'd the **** outta here
User avatar #130 to #129 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I'm heading off FJ because there's a friend that need some help right now, but I want you to know you're the best conversational partner I've encountered on FJ thus far.
Continue "doing your thang", you relatable man, you.
User avatar #131 to #130 - swimmingprodigy (09/20/2013) [-]
same here dude. Check ya around. Tell me how it goes tomorrow (Friday right?)
have fun man
User avatar #132 to #131 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
haha, of course!
User avatar #117 - pellonpoika (07/09/2013) [-]
Your gifs with source- posts are great. You earned a new subscriber, keep it up man!
User avatar #118 to #117 - swimmingprodigy (07/09/2013) [-]
when i get back from work today around 9 PM EST ill post a few more
User avatar #113 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
Hey man I know the dude below me asked but are you trading points for items ?
User avatar #114 to #113 - swimmingprodigy (05/12/2013) [-]
nah Im hoarding my points for some reason
User avatar #115 to #114 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
your choice man, cheers anyways
User avatar #109 to #108 - swimmingprodigy (09/28/2012) [-]
**** yea.

you forgot his 3rd leg which is supposed to be holding a bottle of vodka
#105 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
User avatar #107 to #106 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
#103 - filsoc **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #104 to #103 - swimmingprodigy (08/16/2012) [-]
siema, kolego!
User avatar #87 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
I feel like I see a ******* of your comments around...
Hi swimmingprodigy ._.
User avatar #88 to #87 - swimmingprodigy (08/07/2012) [-]
it might be because I comment a ******* on most posts lol
What's up?
User avatar #89 to #88 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
Not much. Just bein' German is all. You?
User avatar #90 to #89 - swimmingprodigy (08/08/2012) [-]
eh not much. Enjoyin summer vacation in between work as much as i can
User avatar #91 to #90 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
same here. (at least I was, then I quit my job) You still in high school too?
User avatar #92 to #91 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
graduated this year. Whyd u quit?
User avatar #93 to #92 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
I was one of 4 maintenance guys. 2 of the others had mothers that worked there and the other one had special needs, so in turn, I was the only one my boss was able to express his anger towards without getting problems. Plus, one of the other guys there became a massive douche and started ignoring me after I yelled at him (He was eating ice cream during the hours we still had to work, forcing me to finish up one of the jobs that he didn't do even though I had my two cousins waiting in the parking lot with no airconditioning, [plus one is severely autistic, so he basically made my autistic cousin wait in a hot car for a while because he wanted to eat ice cream]). So after he started being a dick to me, even though he used to be one of my best friends, I decided that the pay (which was far under minimum wage) wasn't good enough, and I left. My boss was also a major douche to me on the way out, claiming I needed my hand held for everything I did, even though he always was the one interfering with what I was doing without me asking for his help.

What makes me laugh though is that I was out for one day, and when I came back the next day, my boss was complaining about how the day's job was done terribly, and that we needed to make sure we never ****** up that badly again. Or, in other words, when I'm not there, things get ****** up.
User avatar #94 to #93 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
wow, sounds like a pretty ****** story. Nice to know I dont have these problems and I work for over minimum wage pay. You should try lifeguarding. It's worth the 300 bucks u pay for the course
User avatar #95 to #94 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
Hmm... I am part Cuban... this could work
User avatar #96 to #95 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
do eet. Idk about your local area, but where I am, EVERY SINGLE YMCA is short on lifeguards so youre guaranteed a job
User avatar #97 to #96 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
But at the same time, I'd like to be able to focus on mein writing a bit. I'm still 16, so this may be one of the last few summers I have to work on my novels before constant work.. so I don't know
User avatar #98 to #97 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]
you dont need constant work. ur 16 that means ur gonna be a junior right?

And u can set your own hours and it doesn't have to be constant work. For example, I only work Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays
User avatar #99 to #98 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
yeah, i guess that's true. but being a lifeguard also seems like a job that needs aLOT of fucos, which I do not have :I
User avatar #101 to #99 - swimmingprodigy (08/09/2012) [-]

Youre SUPPOSED to be focused, but most of the time i zone out. Actually a lot of the time i zone out. No one gives a **** . Dont worry. I highly recommend it, easiest job on the planet
User avatar #102 to #101 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
lol, very true.
There was one girl in my old school that was a big-time stoner. She even took pictures of herself with a massive bag of pot and put it on facebook. Now she's the head life guard at the pool of the town i used to live in. :P
User avatar #100 to #99 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
User avatar #86 - unncommon (07/07/2012) [-]
Someone **** all over your pillow man.
#85 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/07/2012) [-]
Dude, someone made a poopie on your pillow.
#84 - spursfan **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #83 - irenecloud (07/07/2012) [-]
I shat on your pillow, dude...
Just saying.
User avatar #80 - TheAnonLord (03/25/2012) [-]
Easier to chat hear but my brother is using the PS3 right now :/
User avatar #82 to #146 - swimmingprodigy (03/25/2012) [-]
ok i successfully added you
User avatar #81 to #146 - swimmingprodigy (03/25/2012) [-]
i see. Could you type your PSN name exactly for me one more time so it's easier for me? Also, what are 'those dopes'?
User avatar #79 - redfang (03/16/2012) [-]
User avatar #78 - fizzled (03/16/2012) [-]
NIGER ****** ****** NEGRO
User avatar #76 - doctorbamf (03/16/2012) [-]
******* ******* these days...
User avatar #77 to #142 - swimmingprodigy (03/16/2012) [-]
Im sorry! I couldnt help it, your bike was just so shiny
#73 - pemdazfunny (03/16/2012) [-]
User avatar #71 - samxdaxman (03/16/2012) [-]
nigger nigger nigger nigger
#70 - mrteabag (03/16/2012) [-]
I'm truly sorry to say that you're a ****** .
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