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swimmingprodigy    

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swimmingprodigy Avatar Level 340 Comments: Sold Soul
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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:3/17/2010
Last Login:11/21/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#1879
Highest Content Rank:#341
Highest Comment Rank:#131
Content Thumbs: 18096 total,  21001 ,  2905
Comment Thumbs: 41265 total,  51355 ,  10090
Content Level Progress: 2.9% (29/1000)
Level 218 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 219 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 35% (350/1000)
Level 340 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 341 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:24
Content Views:385039
Times Content Favorited:1902 times
Total Comments Made:14068
FJ Points:59391
Favorite Tags: a (3) | Apple (2) | epic (2) | justin (2) | lol (2) | Mario (2) | remi (2)

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    Uploaded: 04/26/11
    Another 86 year old man joke? yes it is Another 86 year old man joke?...
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    Uploaded: 11/17/13
    #rekt #rekt
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    Uploaded: 11/20/10
    no title required no title required
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    Brucie Brucie
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    Theyre so cute when they arent aborted Theyre so cute when they arent...
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    Uploaded: 12/03/11
    True Story Bro True Story Bro
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    Uploaded: 12/30/12
    Friendzone Solution Friendzone Solution
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latest user's comments

#4 - >2014 >not doing SS+GOMAD Mark Rippetoe wou… 1 hour ago on Math +2
#116 - ******** with a score of 180. noice 1 hour ago on CHECK YON PRIVILEGE! 0
#115 - holy **** what did you do??? 1 hour ago on CHECK YON PRIVILEGE! 0
#3 - Picture  [+] (2 new replies) 23 hours ago on black father starter pack +17
#9 - Womens Study Major (13 hours ago) [-]
Whats with the dude squating?
User avatar #7 - Steinwolf (15 hours ago) [-]
You forgot the gas mask
#13 - wtf why did you get shot at?  [+] (6 new replies) 23 hours ago on Bullet hitting stuff +7
User avatar #15 - lathyrusvii (22 hours ago) [-]
Ahhh, this guy was going like 40mph up to 100mph on the highway, driving crazy reckless. He cut in front of me, between the car I was following and myself ( which was barely enough room for him to be there anyway ) as we were passing a semi truck.

So I flashed my lights at him. Dude brakes hard, gets behind me, and flashes his lights at me. So when he tries to run back past me, I drive down the center of the road ( on a bridge ) for a few seconds, and don't let him past me.
Except he increases his aggression again, and slides past me, and bumps the front left side of my truck with his rear end when he merges back over.
So at this time, I give up; once it comes to physical destruction derby type shit, I'm out.
But he doesn't let it go. He slows down beside me in the left hand lane, and I roll up my window ( like, wtf was I thinking, in hindsight; windows don't stop bullets ) and he lets one fly.

I said the rest of the story down below.

By the way, if anyone makes a book or movie off this, I'mm'a be pissed. >:|
But not too much; it's kind of a boring story of random violence.
It's one of the reasons I do not take death lightly. Death is not a game. Do not fuck with death.
#55 - aerosol (17 hours ago) [-]
what a dick
#17 - Indoknight (22 hours ago) [-]
People are fuckin crazy

I hope u went fast
User avatar #19 - lathyrusvii (22 hours ago) [-]
No. Are you mocking me with Sonic? What is that?

No, I didn't go fast. I pulled over into the emergency lane and slammed on my brakes, actually. It created a more immediate difference in our speeds than I would have been able to do had I tried to race him.

Physics. A bit of knowledge saved my life, boss.
User avatar #20 - Indoknight (22 hours ago) [-]
I'm imagining you booked it as soon as you got shot at. So I made a sonic reference in going fast. Also, the picture symbolizes my reaction to hearing stories that remind me how messed up people are. No, I'm not mocking you. Just trying to share my sentiments and make a joke.
User avatar #21 - lathyrusvii (22 hours ago) [-]
Heh, it's cool. And yeah... if I hadn't been thinking, I might have tried. << My little old pickup only went about 90, though, and that's practically buzzing.
Yeah, there are some messed up people out in the world, and that's unfortunate. :| I hate when people are quick to violence and death as solutions.

Fuck, I'd have been more grateful ( but still angry ) if he'd shot my fucking tire or something. But heaven alive; trading a bit of paint does not require a blood sacrifice in return. e___e Dude. Too much.
#160 - Come to New York City. We'll **** your ***… 11/19/2014 on faith in humanity 2 +1
#21 - all you need is 1 and you'll have a lifetime supply 11/19/2014 on Stay safe. +4
#53 - What if phanact isn't a single person, but an entity? What…  [+] (3 new replies) 11/19/2014 on Phanact +3
User avatar #67 - qnamanmanga (11/19/2014) [-]
King Parrot Pliz
User avatar #62 - harryhai (11/19/2014) [-]
Restistance is futile
#54 - Womens Study Major (11/19/2014) [-]
Staph, dat ish gay
#28 - well have you ever mailed him a letter first? I never… 11/19/2014 on Congrats grad +2
#9 - The collect call part made me absolutely lose my **** … 11/18/2014 on Old but goddamn gold +14

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User avatar #134 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 86**
User avatar #135 to #134 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (12/05/2013) [-]
**swimmingprodigy rolls 01**
User avatar #119 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Trying to ask everyone I encounter on here, haha.
I started a creative writing channel, to share and provide criticism on stories.
You write? Would love some contributors.
User avatar #120 to #119 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (09/20/2013) [-]
Well I''ve been told by many people that I'm an awesome writer, but I guess that's only when I have to be; in all honesty I hate writing with a burning passion. I'm not creative at all, I have no imagination, and I'm more of a science person.
User avatar #121 to #120 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I've been told the same.
I'm creative, but my problem is my ideas sounding cool to all my friends (My current project is a source mod, but I'm writing it first.) Friends ******* ate up the concept and said I pitched it very well, but the things I think of are in my head just developing in there, so I've got soo much detail when I finally explain it to someone. I felt like I sounded high (My pills don't count as high, that ****** just there to calm me down. don't change my thoughts and I'm more concentrated so if anything it helps.)

Do you also have this problem with conveying your concepts after they've just been festering in your head? It's a really frustrating thing to happen and by the time I have it ready to write I don't know where to start, but I still remember every last little detail that I think of.
Sorry for getting ******* off-topic, sheesh, I'm a rambler, skipped the pill this morning.
Sorry if a waste of time.



By the way, depending on what kind of science you're into, (Aeronautics for me, especially, and weapon-science) I could tell you about my story concept.
It involves a space program, but it's action/horror-ish.
Also, main character sports a Mercury spaceuit (best spacesuit) and the MBA GyroJet as signature weapon (because it can fire in space).
If you'd bare with me, I could find you the one I'd written down previously.
Just warning you now though, it's a ******* run on sentence, I was in no way in the mood to tackle the entire story or oragnize my thoughts, so I just jotted down main ideas basically.
#122 to #121 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (09/20/2013) [-]
I find when I'm writing essays for school I'll think of an epic line that I want to use in like a minute or two, and then I forget it and I'm so pissed at myself because nothing else sounds a good as what I originally planned. But I'm never written anything nearly as long as what you're describing, so I can't relate. Longest thing I've ever written was a 22-paged technical description of the longboard I made from scratch last summer.

As for the science I'm into; Im mainly into cars (that's my hobby) but when I was little I was really interested in military aircraft because I always wanted to be an Air Force Pilot. Now my major in college is civil engineering so I focus mainly on buildings. But I do know a lot about space because that interested me too when I was a kid. I used to read ******** of books when I was little; my friends say I'm like a walking encyclopedia. I just know tons of facts about everything. I would kick ass at Jeopardy
#123 to #122 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
10/10 seems like a pretty cool dude. We could definitely get along.

And that was a very frustrating thing for me, too, but doesn't even happen very often anymore, so I am glad I am able to remember so that I am not pressured to write it right on the spot.

I am planning on taking a creative-writing class once I go to college.
Kinda bothers me that they have stuff like Japanese, but they can't have a creative-writing class.

And I assume then that you know of the Mercury Space Project?
User avatar #124 to #123 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (09/20/2013) [-]
You're most likely going to have to; everyone freshman is required to take a writing class. Mine was called Freshman Inquiry Question-based Writing Seminar (FIQWS for short). It was a pain in my asshole. And yes, Inquiry Question is redundant. Idk why they chose that name lol.

If you're referring to the early Space Race and NASA trying to put at guy into orbit around space before the Russians, then yes I know
User avatar #126 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
and yes that is the space program of which I am referencing.
User avatar #125 to #124 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Sounds like my thing, unless if the professor is a pretentious left-wing douchebag who'll **** on you if your work reflects anything but a positive portrayal of complete government control and Totolitarianism/Dystopian societies (Many times I have heard tales of these types of guys treating students they didn't agree with politically like **** .)
User avatar #127 to #125 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (09/20/2013) [-]
Nah that's mainly a movies thing. Most professors have to be tolerant. Mine was pretty cool. I had to write an essay about classifying things that usually people never put into categories. For example, my essay was "the three types of guitar players" (I play guitar so I have a sort of inside knowledge). The entire essay was hilarious and my professor loved it. Here's my intro paragraph:

All guitar players seem to have an air of arrogance and think that they're better than everyone else, whether they're just starting out or have been playing for years. All three believe that their guitar playing will make them popular, in one way or another. This is why I don't like guitar players even though I am one myself. Guitar players can be classified into three major categories according to how well they play and how highly they think of themselves: the attention whores, the "I'm gonna be a rock star", and the snobby musicians.
User avatar #128 to #127 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
I agree with that opening 101%

Snobby musicians- Do the douchebags that bring their guitars to bonfires fall under this one?

Also, I wasn't trying to make a jab at all left-wing-ists. I have common ground with many liberal topics, even though I believe in free enterprise, capitalism, and the second ammendment.

I'd kinda put myself under liberitarian, maybe, that's as close I can think of, fiscally conservative, (Gotta admit, liberals=not the best with money Most jews are liberal, but I mean liberals in power don't spend on the right stuff )
but socially liberal i.e gay rights, ( I disagree with a lot of their other social points, but there are a good handful I completely agree with.)
What are you when it comes to politics?

Before I asked all this, I should've found out what country you're in, though, aha
User avatar #129 to #128 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (09/20/2013) [-]
Im in New York, US of A.

BTW here's my paragraph about the snobby musicians. I think it's pretty funny:

Lastly we come to the snobby 'professional' musicians. You know these too. Especially living in New York City and going to school in Manhattan, you've seen them. Their parents are artists, but at the tender age of six they had an epiphany (meaning their parents decided for them) that they're going to be professional musicians. They can be easily spotted walking out of Starbucks with a venti-sized caffe vanilla frappuccino light, 1 shot of espresso, 2 sugars, a metric ounce of soy milk, 3 drops of unicorn blood, and a sprinkle of edible gold foil no foam while on their way to the Julliard School. If you say you play guitar around them, they will quiz you. They will judge you. And if you can't repeat the D-flat-7 augmented 5th pentatonic scale in 6th position off the top of your head, they will shun you. The snobby musicians practice guitar for 19 hours a day, or until they get blisters on their blistered blisters. They are more finicky and more anal at getting a piece right than NASA is about landing a Rover on Mars. It is true that they are great musicians; I just don't think they have to be so conceited about it.


As for politics, I try not to involve myself too much in that. It's not that I'm completely ignorant; I know what each party is and what they stand for; I just don't really tend to agree with any one group and it just doesn't interest me enough.
#133 to #129 - tender ONLINE (09/20/2013) [-]
Name was mentioned, TL;DR'd the **** outta here
User avatar #130 to #129 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
Fave'd
I'm heading off FJ because there's a friend that need some help right now, but I want you to know you're the best conversational partner I've encountered on FJ thus far.
Continue "doing your thang", you relatable man, you.
User avatar #131 to #130 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (09/20/2013) [-]
same here dude. Check ya around. Tell me how it goes tomorrow (Friday right?)
have fun man
User avatar #132 to #131 - yorker (09/20/2013) [-]
haha, of course!
User avatar #117 - pellonpoika (07/09/2013) [-]
Your gifs with source- posts are great. You earned a new subscriber, keep it up man!
User avatar #118 to #117 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (07/09/2013) [-]
when i get back from work today around 9 PM EST ill post a few more
User avatar #113 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
Hey man I know the dude below me asked but are you trading points for items ?
User avatar #114 to #113 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (05/12/2013) [-]
nah Im hoarding my points for some reason
User avatar #115 to #114 - khl (05/12/2013) [-]
your choice man, cheers anyways
User avatar #116 to #115 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (05/12/2013) [-]
see ya
User avatar #109 to #108 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (09/28/2012) [-]
**** yea.

you forgot his 3rd leg which is supposed to be holding a bottle of vodka
#105 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
kurwa, znalazłam! Polak!
User avatar #106 to #105 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (09/22/2012) [-]
siema?
User avatar #107 to #106 - mniam (09/22/2012) [-]
Siema!
#103 - filsoc **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #104 to #103 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (08/16/2012) [-]
siema, kolego!
User avatar #87 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
I feel like I see a ******* of your comments around...
Hi swimmingprodigy ._.
User avatar #88 to #87 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (08/07/2012) [-]
it might be because I comment a ******* on most posts lol
What's up?
User avatar #89 to #88 - seniorpokeman (08/07/2012) [-]
Not much. Just bein' German is all. You?
User avatar #90 to #89 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (08/08/2012) [-]
eh not much. Enjoyin summer vacation in between work as much as i can
User avatar #91 to #90 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
same here. (at least I was, then I quit my job) You still in high school too?
User avatar #92 to #91 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (08/09/2012) [-]
graduated this year. Whyd u quit?
User avatar #93 to #92 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
I was one of 4 maintenance guys. 2 of the others had mothers that worked there and the other one had special needs, so in turn, I was the only one my boss was able to express his anger towards without getting problems. Plus, one of the other guys there became a massive douche and started ignoring me after I yelled at him (He was eating ice cream during the hours we still had to work, forcing me to finish up one of the jobs that he didn't do even though I had my two cousins waiting in the parking lot with no airconditioning, [plus one is severely autistic, so he basically made my autistic cousin wait in a hot car for a while because he wanted to eat ice cream]). So after he started being a dick to me, even though he used to be one of my best friends, I decided that the pay (which was far under minimum wage) wasn't good enough, and I left. My boss was also a major douche to me on the way out, claiming I needed my hand held for everything I did, even though he always was the one interfering with what I was doing without me asking for his help.

What makes me laugh though is that I was out for one day, and when I came back the next day, my boss was complaining about how the day's job was done terribly, and that we needed to make sure we never ****** up that badly again. Or, in other words, when I'm not there, things get ****** up.
User avatar #94 to #93 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (08/09/2012) [-]
wow, sounds like a pretty ****** story. Nice to know I dont have these problems and I work for over minimum wage pay. You should try lifeguarding. It's worth the 300 bucks u pay for the course
User avatar #95 to #94 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
Hmm... I am part Cuban... this could work
User avatar #96 to #95 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (08/09/2012) [-]
do eet. Idk about your local area, but where I am, EVERY SINGLE YMCA is short on lifeguards so youre guaranteed a job
User avatar #97 to #96 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
But at the same time, I'd like to be able to focus on mein writing a bit. I'm still 16, so this may be one of the last few summers I have to work on my novels before constant work.. so I don't know
User avatar #98 to #97 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (08/09/2012) [-]
you dont need constant work. ur 16 that means ur gonna be a junior right?

And u can set your own hours and it doesn't have to be constant work. For example, I only work Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays
User avatar #99 to #98 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
yeah, i guess that's true. but being a lifeguard also seems like a job that needs aLOT of fucos, which I do not have :I
User avatar #101 to #99 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (08/09/2012) [-]
lolno.

Youre SUPPOSED to be focused, but most of the time i zone out. Actually a lot of the time i zone out. No one gives a **** . Dont worry. I highly recommend it, easiest job on the planet
User avatar #102 to #101 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
lol, very true.
There was one girl in my old school that was a big-time stoner. She even took pictures of herself with a massive bag of pot and put it on facebook. Now she's the head life guard at the pool of the town i used to live in. :P
User avatar #100 to #99 - seniorpokeman (08/09/2012) [-]
*focus
User avatar #86 - unncommon ONLINE (07/07/2012) [-]
Someone **** all over your pillow man.
#85 - Womens Study Major (07/07/2012) [-]
Dude, someone made a poopie on your pillow.
#84 - spursfan **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #83 - irenecloud (07/07/2012) [-]
I shat on your pillow, dude...
Just saying.
User avatar #80 - TheAnonLord (03/25/2012) [-]
Easier to chat hear but my brother is using the PS3 right now :/
User avatar #82 to #146 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (03/25/2012) [-]
ok i successfully added you
User avatar #81 to #146 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (03/25/2012) [-]
i see. Could you type your PSN name exactly for me one more time so it's easier for me? Also, what are 'those dopes'?
User avatar #79 - redfang (03/16/2012) [-]
User avatar #78 - fizzled (03/16/2012) [-]
NIGER ****** ****** NEGRO
User avatar #76 - doctorbamf (03/16/2012) [-]
******* ******* these days...
User avatar #77 to #142 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (03/16/2012) [-]
Im sorry! I couldnt help it, your bike was just so shiny
#73 - pemdazfunny (03/16/2012) [-]
Nigeritis
User avatar #71 - samxdaxman (03/16/2012) [-]
nigger nigger nigger nigger
#70 - mrteabag (03/16/2012) [-]
I'm truly sorry to say that you're a ****** .
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