In the beginning there was nothing. Then I created God. He created the earth in 12 days in fact, but that cunt always wants to show off. We then played Monopoly, we lost all the pieces so I was a piece of Shrimp from yesterdays Chinese and he (God) had to be a letter 'M' from our Dell keyboard which broke. I won and he got angry and impregnated some bird called Mary? He came crying to me about how he may have ruined mankind and started wars. I was out buying a Ham. Oh, and my name's Josh!