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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:8/08/2012
Last Login:3/04/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#12893
Highest Content Rank:#8814
Highest Comment Rank:#2046
Content Thumbs: 38 total,  53 ,  15
Comment Thumbs: 2030 total,  2156 ,  126
Content Level Progress: 71.18% (42/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 93% (93/100)
Level 217 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 218 Comments: Comedic Genius
Content Views:9050
Total Comments Made:656
FJ Points:1841

latest user's comments

#9 - If you can't stop them, join them. I want the chocolate. 11/27/2014 on stretches 0
#199 - As Byte says, it is an Espeon. And let me explain to you why i…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/27/2014 on more dorkly +1
User avatar #239 - billfuckingnye (11/28/2014) [-]
you have healed a wound that time could not. thank you
#196 - My first Shiny was in Pokemon X, it was a shiny Zweilous. … 11/27/2014 on more dorkly +1
#293 - I'm kinda looking back at the thread it spawned. Neato. 11/27/2014 on 0_o 0
#237 - Spider eating snake. It also eats birds.  [+] (28 new replies) 11/27/2014 on 0_o 0
User avatar #242 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
That's not a bird eating spider, it's a baby snake.
#254 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
Yes it is a bird eating spider, it is an Australian bird eating spider and their leg span is about the same as a dinner plate.
User avatar #255 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
I live in Australia and that's an Asian Stick Orb Weaver you uncultured slut

THIS is a bird eating spider www.reptilepark.com.au/animalprofile.asp?id=129
#260 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
You are kinda right, This is called a Goliath Bird eating spider, where as the other spider in the OP is simply known as a bird eating spider, or golden orb weaver, and it is Australian, and they are fucking big, dick head.
User avatar #262 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
Hey you wanna know something? Do ya? I like entymology, I think it's pretty fascinating shit. I did my highschool biology thesis on inspects. A golden orb weaver is a TYPE of spider, like a tarantula is a TYPE of spider, the ones that live in Australia are small and typically a few centimetres at best, if they're female.

That particular spider is mainly found in the phillipeans, yes it quite large, the biggest recorded had a legspan of 23cm or something to that degree, off the top of my head. IT'S NOT FUCKING AUSTRALIAN. It eats large insects mainly like grass hoppers, but has been known to eat infantile snakes and rarely, rarely small birds like a FINCH and I don't know if you've ever seen a finch but they're SMALL AS FUCK.

User avatar #266 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
Fuck you are thick skulled.
"Golden orb-weavers reach sizes of 4.8–5.1 cm (1.5–2 in) in females, not including legspan, with males being usually 2/3 smaller (less than 2.5 cm, 1 in). The largest specimen ever recorded was a 6.9 cm (2.7 in) female from Queensland that was able to catch and feed on a small finch. In 2012 a large individual was photographed killing and consuming a half-metre-long brown tree snake in Freshwater, Queensland"
The goliath bird eating spider is also not actually called the goliath bird eating spider, it is actually called Theraphosa blondi.
Nick names are fun no?
Now pull your head out of your arse and accept when you are wrong.
User avatar #270 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
Yea, wikipedia, that's a great source of information.

Please notice the yellow ball joints on the spider in OP and the distinct pattern of the thorax, and then the yellow ball joints and distinct thorax of this spider, which is a stick orb weaver, which mainly resides in Phillipines. I act like I know everything because in this case I actually learned about it from people who know what they're talking about, not wikipedia. Stop spreading your uninformed bullshit around the internet.

#282 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
No the spider in the OP is Nephila plumipes.
Acting like you know everything is never a good thing.

#287 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]

This is the reversed side of the nephila pilipes taken in Thailand, it looks exactly like the one in the picture. Spiders, they have the tiniest difference between species. Shows how much you know about them! I bet you think there's only one kind of huntsman spider too, idiot.
User avatar #290 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
No it does not, if anything we are both fucking wrong.
That spider has a black thorax covered in yellow spots that is far too skinny to be the same spider as the one in the OP, the Australian orb weaver is a much closer match and they are known to eat birds.
the Nephila pilipes is smaller than the plumipes and it is not known to eat birds.
The plumipes also has a black thorax underneath and yellow markings on the leg joints but its thorax is much thicker.
Just take a closer fucking look, If it is not plumipes there is no fucking chance it is pilipes, so what the fuck is it?
#292 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
It's a male pilipes, you're either confused the snake for the thorax or you're particlarly shit at identifying spiders in both scenarios why are you acting like you know shit about something you clearly do not.
User avatar #300 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
They're both found in papua new guinea

problem solved
#299 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
By the way, they look about the same right?
User avatar #302 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
No definitely not. Yes they both have yellow on the joints but the difference is the top clearly has yellow ball joints in his knees, where as the bottom has generally yellow coloured joints. Plus that guys furry, top isn't.
#328 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
if you zoom in close it looks like the spider in the top picture has fur on the same legs as the picture i posted, i suspect the OP is just too low of a resolution to see such fine hair.
Anywho the snake is an Australian green snake there is no doubt about that, and i still say the spider is not a pilipes. it is a Nephila for sure there is no doubt there, i still think it is a plumipes personally.
Btw i figured out we are both dick heads who think they know everything lmao.
Remeber my first reply to you?
Guess what kind of spider is eating that bird, it is a Nephila pilipis that you would find in Australia, i found out the picture is from queensland, No way close to being the same spider as the one in the OP. honestly after an hour researching nephila im fucking stumped. the spider you have been talking about is actually called nephila maculata and they changed its name a while ago, so this whole subject is just fucked from the get go.

User avatar #346 - thirdjess (11/28/2014) [-]
The joints are different so there is extreme doubt, and I can tell you they changed the name of the spider because they realised it had a lot of subspecies. Maculata means speckled, pilipes means string-foot. They realised the subspecies of the pilipes were indeed subspecies, not species unique from it.

Like how there are different colour variations of small birds but they are physiologically the same. The one in your picture is one I just discovered is actually native to my home town of Noosa (ironic, no?) when my biologist friend was like 'um Jess, you're wrong' called the Nephila pilipes piscatorum (or fishermans spider). It has a furry back which keeps it dry, as do most spiders in this area. I'm not sure if you've ever seen a river reed, but they're a bit furry to prevent rot in the stems. Same principle.

Now the spider in OP seems like it might have a fuzzy thorax like the piscatorum, but it is not completely grey like the piscatorum; it's pattern ends halfway up the thorax which would disqualify it from this species. Plus it doesn't have a red booty-end like the piscatorum. So if I had to guess, I'd say it's an annulipes but that's just a guess.
#331 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
I found a few pics of the aussie nephila pilipis
#332 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
another of it
#335 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
And here is the "nephila pilipis" or maculata that you were talking about
#337 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
another of maculata
#297 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
Because i am really fucking good at identifying snakes.
That is an Australian green snake. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrelaphis_punctulata
I love reptiles like you love bugs bro.
User avatar #288 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
where* fuck me, time for bed.
User avatar #278 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
Spelling learnt learned, oh god I'm becoming American.
#261 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
For a size reference on the regular bird eating spider.
User avatar #264 - thirdjess (11/27/2014) [-]
And stop doing your research through google images reverse search
User avatar #269 - TwiztidNinja (11/27/2014) [-]
mate, just fucking accept when you are wrong and go "how about that" instead of assuming you know fucking everything.
#293 - slend (11/27/2014) [-]
I'm kinda looking back at the thread it spawned.

#618 - You could make a magnificent Good Guy Greg.  [+] (2 new replies) 11/27/2014 on thanksgiving selfie / feels... +1
User avatar #1653 - sharkpunch (11/27/2014) [-]
You think I could really take over that role?
#1672 - slend (11/27/2014) [-]
Follow your dreams.
#2 - <-MFW 11/25/2014 on well then... +10
#6 - Take this, you will need it. 11/24/2014 on Need level 1 for NSFW +1
#111 - Huntsman spider. This spider is actually about to get rekt, be…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/23/2014 on A moment of silence 0
#112 - tailsx (11/23/2014) [-]
Well fuck..
#1 - Most of them didn't do it for me. But the MY BRAND! one killed… 11/07/2014 on Sups GOOD comp 0
#26 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIED? I CAN'T KILL THIS AREA BOSS WITH SPAM… 11/06/2014 on gamedefine +6
#11 -   ▲ ▲ ▲ Whoo. 11/02/2014 on A Secret revealed 0
#6 - I do agree with you in some ways, disagree in others. … 10/29/2014 on 1v1mefgtibetukisgrills 0
#1 - Now I've seen a lot of Dark Souls content, I love the Soul's s… 10/28/2014 on 1v1mefgtibetukisgrills +6
#8 - Sketch from life. Take the simplest of objects and draw them i…  [+] (1 new reply) 10/28/2014 on Sketches 0
User avatar #11 - thebellboy (10/28/2014) [-]
Art 1 does real life
Art 2 does whatever the fuck they feel like.
#25 - Honestly, it's the same as with 'I like to be pantsless at hom… 10/25/2014 on white ppl must be stopped -2
#91 - You got me. You really did. I ain't even mad, that was an amaz… 10/22/2014 on Just found this on Facebook. +3
#332 - Comment deleted 10/21/2014 on GEARBOY has lied to you all +1
#19 - Picture 10/19/2014 on Work Smart +28
#3 - That's fair, still, if this is your first time I can see the e… 10/15/2014 on Wondertrade win 0
#1 - What's the win part? Pokerus gets spread over the wondertrade …  [+] (2 new replies) 10/15/2014 on Wondertrade win 0
User avatar #2 - sugarveins (10/15/2014) [-]
Well I dont really get lucky with anything on wondertrade. Also, I love grimer. In all of my years playing pokemon I have never gotten poke-aids as you have punned it. So to me it is a win.
#3 - slend (10/15/2014) [-]
That's fair, still, if this is your first time I can see the excitement.
Good luck spreading it, the pokerus stops being spreadable after a certain amount of time so be sure to keep it alive by infecting others.

Also; Grats.
#36 - I did not expect it to work, much like everyone else, but was … 10/15/2014 on Moving A Couch 0
#3 - I was awaiting his voice, when I saw his face I was anticipati…  [+] (1 new reply) 10/13/2014 on ITS HAPPENING 0
User avatar #4 - wcpapier (10/13/2014) [-]
sweet baby jesus this voice is more horryfing than finding out your neighbour has ebola

it starts at 0:51 for people interested in just the voice
#7 - Solving works better than repressing, I will add. Take a break…  [+] (1 new reply) 10/13/2014 on shoot me please 0
#8 - argoniansrule (10/13/2014) [-]
I think the message "I didn't realise how much of a bitch I was back then" says what's really broken, I already told her I forgave her, like I said before, it's history and even though it has affected me, I know that I brought this on myself so she isn't to blame, and I was already prepared for it, hit me harder than I thought it would, but you know
#5 - Well then. It sounds like it gave you the closure you may have…  [+] (3 new replies) 10/13/2014 on shoot me please 0
#6 - argoniansrule (10/13/2014) [-]
she told me that, I still have no idea that that was happening, and you know, it hurts, but fuck it, if I don't get all emo tonight and just chill out tomorrow and not think about it, then salvage my friendship with her, then it'll be all good
#7 - slend (10/13/2014) [-]
Solving works better than repressing, I will add. Take a break from the confusion and heartache, but don't let it linger. Also; I wish you good luck with the salvaging. Save what there is to save, rebuild what's broken.
#8 - argoniansrule (10/13/2014) [-]
I think the message "I didn't realise how much of a bitch I was back then" says what's really broken, I already told her I forgave her, like I said before, it's history and even though it has affected me, I know that I brought this on myself so she isn't to blame, and I was already prepared for it, hit me harder than I thought it would, but you know


Total unique items point value: 165 / Total items point value: 1564
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User avatar #6 - soundofwinter ONLINE (06/22/2014) [-]
**** you
#5 - havelnig (03/23/2014) [-]
I deleted your long comment and didn't read it.
#3 - necroshredder (12/17/2013) [-]
hey dont mean to bugg u but do u have a hustle nidoran male on u or breed one that you dont mind trading. if im asking too much you dont have to do it or not but i would like some clarification.
#4 to #3 - slend (12/17/2013) [-]
Hey man, I haven't got any Nidorans. Good luck with your search though!
#1 - orton **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#2 to #1 - slend (09/12/2012) [-]
I did for ***** n gigs because of all the deleted comments.
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