That's kinda adorable.
So what's up?
Bored, I assume?

What is?
Nothing is up. I'm not really bored, actually. I'm doing a fair bit of thinking, and watching TV.

You and your silly accounts.

My accounts aren't silly! Yours are.
Cat is eating a pencil. That's kinda cool.

niggerbones
appleberry
soapbar
All very silly names.
You have more, but I forgot them.

Hermrat...
I'm not sure what other ones there are. Hm.

Well I have to go babysit my cousins, so I probably wont be online later.
Cya and have a good night and whatnot.

Babysitting is fun.
Unless they're the type that throw stuff...
Anywho, Bye Silent. Take care, and uh... have fun.

You wouldn't be the first.

And im sure i wont be the last. well.... as long as people are madly in love with dea mans wonderland!

Do you also understand why I stopped posting her for months?

Yeah :I

She's in it, just not as much as I want her to be in it.
It's mostly about Ganta this episode.
and hi, how are you?

Oh, I see. I'm doing good. So glad that Toonami's back. You?

I've been doing great, things haven't really been going my way lately, but I've been turning it around.
So what's been up with you?

Pretty good show, I didn't really know what the fuck was going on, but it was still good.

It gets cooler when Shiro goes berserk and everything comes together.
Episode five is best episode.

Welp, I'm gonna have to watch it now.

Glad to hear it. I've not really been up to much. Just really chilling since it's summer break.

You are a master conversationalist, actually.
Able to keep a conversation going by saying exactly what happens or what pops into your head.
As to why people tolerate you...
Because they like you?
and It's not that you're a terrible person, not at all.
It's just the way you are.
Do you doubt the people that like you for who you are?

I suppose I do doubt it.
I just don't see it. I don't see why people enjoy my company. I guess I'm just ignoring some part of myself, I guess?
I do honestly believe I'm a terrible person. I've tried desperately to fix things up, but... I can't escape my past, I suppose.
I think I would find things loads easier if everyone just started hating me, and stopped talking to me.
That was, even though I'd be lonely, I wouldn't have to like... Worry about... About whatever, I guess. I don't really know what I worry about.

That just comes with having friends.
Sure everything would be simpler without friends, no drama and such, but would you really like it?
I enjoy having friends like you, because you make me into a better person.
Demo, chico, jofj, mali, yohann, lordpsa, pedo and you have all served to make me into a completely different person, a better, more experienced person.
The drama of relationships is worth it in the long run.
You're not a terrible person, Bones.
Do you doubt me also?

I wouldn't like it, but it's not like I like how things are currently, either.
I'm utterly torn... Maybe I am just being greedy, again.

Everything has turned me into a worse person over the years, or at least I think it has.
I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be like this. Things were better when I was less... Broken.
I miss having all my pieces. Missing pieces sucks.

Are you sure it's really worth it, in the long run? I hope you're right about that, though.
Do I doubt you? I don't really know what you mean by that.

Somewhat related, but, I promised myself that I'll try my hardest to stay around long enough to make myself happy.
I have been trying, but I mean, I'm going to make a life for myself, as soon as I can.
Things will get better if I... If I keep trying. I think. If not then... Well at least I tried, right?
Trying has gotta count for something.

I'm going to bed now, or shortly. G'night Silent. Take care, and enjoy the rest of your day.

You say you have become worse, but I like you the way you are.
I wonder how differently I would think of you if you were, as you say, the better you.
I think I would prefer you the way you are.
Night Bones.

I guess if I was less broken I wouldn't be looking here for friendship... Or anything at all.
So I guess some good has come out of missing my pieces.
Maybe I am fine the way I am, but I still want to fix it.
Why fix something that others don't consider broken...
I consider it broken, and I think it should be fixed.
But what if I fix it to something I'm happy with, and others don't like it because it's not the same?
Maybe I should leave things alone.

Maybe you should do what you want.
If you're not happy with it, fix it.
We'll like you no matter what.
I really doubt there is any way you could change that would result in me disliking you.

There must be a certain type of person you dislike.
If I change into that, then you'll dislike me, too.
So, clearly, there's a way that you folks will start disliking me.

I didn't know this account was an oldfag. That's kinda neat...

Indeed.

...

You out of pictures already?

~450 Shiro pictures
Bitches better recognize.

I don't even know anymore.

Oh yes.

Oh yes to that, I see milky is talking with you allot.
She seems to be into you you :3
:P Das all Im sayin
Also thats hot :I

I doubt she thinks of me the way I think of her, but I know she at least likes me as a friend.
That's good enough for me.
She's just so fun to talk too.

Thats good
Im off to go do things in place ttyl nigga

Was gonna draw something for you.
Couldn't figure out what.
Got tired trying.
This. Merry Christmas.
Sleeping now.

I'm not quite sure why this drawing made me so happy, but it did.
Thank you.

xshirox
sadirarity
overjoyedpinkiepie
joyouspinkamena

leavarkas

I've been staying on my alts more than my main recently.
I think I'll stick with this one for now.
I have fun on it, and I suppose that's what's important.
Any reason for the change?

No reason in particular.
I'm hoping to go away for a few days, but that likely won't happen, so I'll use this account as my vacation instead.

You're up rather early, aren't you? It's the weekend. Go back to bed.

Isn't it like, five in the morning where you are?
You go to bed.

FuckinghellgoddammitIhateeverything
WROTE A COMMENT AND DELETED IT. Why god? Why do you hate me?

Anyway... I'm fine for now. I'm talking to people. People, and you. You're people too, but you're a different kind of people... So yeah, I'm staying up for a while. I'll go to bed after breakfast.

I like using alts. I can talk to people, and they don't know it's me talking. It's kinda neat.

I'm a different kind of people?
Is that... good or bad?
and yeah, having people not know who you are is kinda fun.

It's great. You're the best kind of people.

It kinda is.
It's more fun when they start talking to you about yourself, and... You know what's going on between both parties now, and they're making assumptions about you to you since they don't know you're you, and you have to resist ripping their heads off because fuck them and their assumptions..

I just attempted to watch the sunrise, but I got bored.
I don't see the attraction in sunrises. I like sunsets better...
I like night better, so I guess it makes sense. Day is too... bright.

You seem upset...
You want to talk about it, or should I just drop it?
I still avoid certain people on my alts so they don't know it's me though.
Sadly, all they would have to do is go to my profile to know who I am.
and I prefer a sunset too.
Makes the day seem complete, somehow.

I don't think I'm upset. I might be, though. I know I was upset earlier, much earlier, but I'm not anymore. My leg hurts, though. If I knew why I'm upset, or at least why I seem upset, I'd talk about it. But I don't.

I'm going to say something about the person I spoke about, but not here, because I'm scared he'll see. Skype maybe, or maybe I won't say it at all, we'll see.

It makes the day seem complete because colours.
Colours and then dark...
What a perfect combination...

You always seem like you're unsure, yet sure about something at the same time.
But okay.

Hm. Maybe you're right, but I don't know.

I don't know what's going on either.
It's fun.

... Huh. Isn't it getting dark later because it's almost summer?
I wanna know when it gets dark. If it's later, then I'd go sit outside.

Dark out here.
You and your silly little Canada, three hours backwards in time.
How barbaric.

Yeah well, Canada won't be so silly when I'm sitting in the same timezone as you all summer.

Oh yeah, that will be cool.

It'll be nice because like... I'll actually get to hang out with a few people.

You have friends in Florida then, I assume?

I have a whole bunch of friend's in Florida.
But uh... For this summer I'm going to be in Ontario. I've got three friends there.

My war ends with you.
lolidunno, I'm bored now.

You should go something fun.
What do you consider fun? Find something fun and do it.

I want to go to bed, but I need to do coursework. Sigh.

But talking to you is fun.
We just need a topic...

You should pick a topic. I'm not good at picking topics.

You know, I don't think we've ever really talked about MLP.
What's your favorite pony?

Hm.
I'm terrible at picking favourites...
If I had to pick, Uh... Pinkie, I guess. Maybe.
Yourself?

I still don't know why I like this picture... Hm.

Pinkie or Rarity, I think, since Chrysalis isn't a pony.
I like how Pinkie always tries to make people smile, and I just think Rarity has a nice personality.
Dunno why.
I just like Chrysalis because she's awesome....

I don't know why I like half the pics in my Chrysalis folder...

Chrysalis is cool.
... I'm pretty sure I like all the characters from the show.
They're all... interesting, or something.

I played softball today.
I went up to bat.
My legs shook.
I don't know why.
I wasn't scared.
I wasn't tired.
I missed four times and struck out.
I cried.
Nobody saw, but I did.
I don't know why I cried.
I wasn't sad.
I wasn't mad.
I didn't care that I fucked up in softball.
I cried for a while.
Crying made me feel good.
Talking with friends did too.
So today was pretty interesting, to me.

I don't like crying, but if it made you feel good, then that's good.
I'm glad you found your day to be interesting, though.

My cat is like... Cuddling up against my side. I don't know why.
I'm also like... Already tired, again. Weird.

I like potatoes.

I'm tired.

Well stop being tired.

But how?
I think I need caffeine.

Fun fact:
I have never tried coffee.
Should I?

I don't know...
Lots of people don't like it, lots of people do.
I'm kinda... Neutral with it. I don't like it, I don't dislike it.
I've been drinking it a lot lately, though.

Why not try it? Wouldn't hurt, I don't think.

I think I may have fucked up with pedo and the fimi thing.
Heeeeeeeeeee's really depressed now.
He needs to get a crush on someone quick.
For some reason, getting a crush on someone is a sort of motivator for guys.
Makes life have a point, ya know?
Without his crush on fimi, he has nothing.
I dun goofed.
What do?

Well fuck. I uh... Don't know.
Introduce him to seven million females?

I think females are the same way, though. The ones I speak with tend to be the same way.
Mind you, I don't know. I'm not great with knowing about people, and whatnot.

You're quite good at knowing yourself, though.

I actually don't know a lot about myself.
Or at least, I always manage to confuse myself.

But you always seem to know exactly how you're feeling and why.

I try, but most of the time I'm extremely confused about everything.

Well that was unexpected...
But maybe it's good to be confused.
I have no idea what I'm getting at, but I'm sure their is a positive aspect to being confused.

Maybe it is good, but regardless, I don't like it.
I like knowing things, I like understanding things.

But the more you understand, the less there is to know.
I like not understanding things, so I can feel accomplished when I do understand them.
I'm almost positive that makes sense.

It does make sense, but... If the goal is to feel accomplished when you do understand then, then you're still understanding them. I do feel accomplished when I learn new things and whatnot, but half the time I have no idea what's going on, which is why I don't like not knowing things, which is also why I like knowing things?

A perfect example of this is like... People often get mad at me, refuse to tell me what I've done, yet they're sitting there full of spite towards me. So I'm sitting there confused as fuck, because no one is telling me shit. Yes.

I have no idea what's going on anymore. xD

They've been nice to me.
Killing all the flying bugs and whatnot.
I like em.

They tried to eat me.
I swear.
It was terrible, there was like... 30.
I almost got raped. By spiders.

I knew I could never trust them good for nothin' spiders....
Thirty, you say?
Ha, I've killed more for a Klondike bar!

Ohohoh, I didn't end up stealing! So that's good.
... I'm likely going to have to go back to steal soon, though.

... Porn is hilarious, and unsanitary.
I'm laughing so hard.

Well you don't have to do anything.
Why don't you just tell you your dad how you feel about it?

and what's this I hear about porn?

It's either I do it, or I risk letting him get arrested doing it himself.
So... yeah. I'll have to do it.

I'm watching a midget orgy, and analyzing it with a friend of mine.
It's really funny, I don't know why.

Either way it's pretty fucking ridiculous.

and all of my why

"Why is there a retard midget with a mask in charge?"
I... I don't know why this is funny. I laughing really hard.
Please kill me.

lolk

klol.

... Have you ever seen someone get fisted?
With a foot?
I have. I'm pretty sure I've seen everything. I don't think I need to live anymore.

I honestly haven't seen much.
The weirdest porn I've ever seen was hyper penis gay dinosaur porn, and I regret seeing it.
About the weirdest I normally go is Futa.

Looking at weird porn tends to be a hobby me and a few friends have.
... It's only extremely odd, now that I think about it.
Life. My life. God.

The parts of you that are odd are the parts I like the most.

Hm...
I think I like all parts of you.

I watched a girl get anal'd by a pineapple.
I'm laughing quite hard.

I didn't say I didn't like all parts of you, I just find certain parts more interesting.
What sets you apart, I guess.

Also, that's strange.

I had to watch some weird videos.
It was a contest to see who could find the most weird porn.
I won.

You promised that you'd have a happy story to tell me today.
It's today.

>Get online after bad day
>See Bone's profile is blocked
/sad story
>Find out why
>Get jimmies rustled
/mad story
>Talk to Bones about porn and spiders
>Day stops being bad
>Everyone lives happily ever after
Refer to picture.

I like your stories.
That was like... A trilogy. Neat.

They don't call me a master story teller for nothing.
So anyway, how was your day?
anything interesting happen?

Nothing particularly interesting, no. But regardless, my day was good? I don't understand how, but it was.
Thanks for asking.

Anything interesting happen during your day?

This picture because I didn't know what picture to post.

I'm adding everyone.

It wasn't about being removed.
I saw that coming a mile away, when he removed me on skype a week ago.
It was everything.
I just wanted to rant on my profile about my feelings for him, and he happened to see it.
Didn't think he would stop by.

As of now, you two aren't getting along.

So, you don't care anymore?

Do you realize how hard it was to talk to the guy?
This is more like a relief.
Now I don't have to wonder where I stand with him.
I honestly didn't like our conversations much anyway.
I much prefer talking to people like Bones and Chico.

Well, maybe this might change.

Y U no talk in chat?

I don't know why I was so scared.
I had no reason to be scared, not one reason. But I still was.
I tried though, I was just too scared to talk more than I did.
I'm sorry.

Nothing to be sorry about Bones.
It was quite intimidating.
I didn't talk much because I didn't know what to say.
I was scared too.
It's good you tried though.

I've tried but I'm too scared.
My heart is like, pounding.
I think I might vomit.

Why am I so scared of people? I'm ridiculous.
I'll try my best, though. I'll try to talk, but... I dunno.

I wish I had a dog.
Luckily though, the neighbors own a puppy and pay me to take care of him on the week days.
Good enough for me.
and I'm good, but also bored.
Just looking for Chrysalis pics.
How are you doing?

Oh sweet, what kind of puppy do your neighbours have?
More Chrysalis pictures. You're going to make that huge folder even bigger. Goddamn.
I'm good though, I think. It's windy out.

My puppy thing fetched a ball and brought it back.
It was the first time he ever did that for me.
I made some really girlish squee-ing noises.

It's a black lab, and something else I forgot.
Looks a lot like a lab though.
I'm up to 565 pics, stop meh

and das cute.
How old is he?

Sounds cute.
565? Holy. Eventually I'll bug you to give me the folder, yanno.
Getting folders from others is far easier than making them myself. My attention span is too short for collecting and sorting.

He's... coming up to a year old, soon. In either June or July he'll be a year.
I still consider him a puppy, even though he's uh... Not really.
I'll likely always consider him my puppy.

For some reason, I call all dogs puppies.
Even the old ones.
Don't know why.
and, you can have it if you tell me how to transfer it.
Never done it before, don't know how.

Well why not? Maybe calling old dogs "puppies" helps them feel better about themselves.
Eh... I honestly have no idea either. Ask Lefty, he's gave out some of his folders before.

Dad's girlfriend made cookies.
Peanut butter cookies.
They're all warm and stuff.
I like cookies.

I like cookies too.
In fact, I'm going to go have a cinnamon cookie right now.
Or bread.
Or Ice Cream.
Or anything with meat.
I'm fucking hungry.

After eating that cookie I realized I was feeling rather hungry.
Good timing too, since my father just called and asked me if I wanted him to pick up something from the grocery for dinner.
Chocolate would be nice. Someone demanded that i go out and buy chocolate, though I'm not sure why.
I'm not even fond of chocolate. But it'd still be nice.

Random thoughts out of fucking nowhere.
I find it a bit funny how I've drifted away from my IRL friends, and really only talk to my internet friends.
It should be a bad thing, but compared to my friends here, those guys are assholes.
I stopped talking to my best friend that I knew since preschool when I started frequenting FJ.
I haven't seen him in almost a year.
The odd thing is, I don't really care.
Just something to spur a conversation.

Online friends seem to be more constant, or at least they've always been in my own personal situation. People online seem to care about me more, and actually like... go out of their way to talk to me. I never keep "IRL" friends for long because I move schools often. No one cares to stay in touch once I'm not there in person. It's... Rather depressing, I guess? How can people I've never met care enough to want to keep in touch, while people I've hung out with for months can't be bothered? People are strange.

The sad thing is, I doubt we would even be friends if we didn't meet over the internet.
Me being an insecure male and you being a shy female, I doubt we would have even taken the time to talk if we were in the same school or such.
I'm sure we would have been friends, if we ever had talked though.
Makes me wonder how many other friendships we just let slip bye.

I actually had friends last year. I even managed to get a lover, even though it didn't work out it was still like... Comforting, I guess. It was the first year that was actually starting to look up since my parents split. Now there's this year where my anxiety is far worse that ever before, I'm far more shy than ever before, I can't even handle myself around people any more. I've always been shy but why does this year have to suck so much? I can't even talk to people, at all, except like... Dad, his girlfriend (rarely), Mum, and my Therapist. That's all I can handle. Maybe old family friends, but then again... I never really see any of those.

Maybe if I didn't pussy out of school this year, I would of had friends. Mind you, if I did make friends, I might not of been online as much? I might not of bothered to get close to people from the thread and stuff, and then I wouldn't met you, among others. Which begs the question, what's more important? Is the more important thing having people around in the flesh who help you fight loneliness better, but don't really care, or... Or it is better to have people who aren't as helpful when you're lonely, but they're still there, and they still care about you loads.

I'm really cold.

I want to be there for you
I want to be your comfort
I want to be someone you can talk to
I want to be your friend
I want to be your lover
I want to be your warmth

But I can't be all those things, not now at least.
I don't think you expect or even want me to be all those things.
I just want you to realize that my love for you is as real as any others, ten feet away or ten thousand miles, it's the same.
At least that's the way I see it.

I don't know how to respond to that.

Any response would be great.
I have no fucking idea what I just said.

It seems like your feelings of me are rather strong, from what you just said.
But I refuse to let myself believe that any of what you just said is true.
Every time I believe people, I get fucked over, and I get hurt.
Mind you, if we are going to be talking for five years, then maybe I'll let myself believe it eventually.

Decent enough response?

That's a perfect response.
But you know, one really cool thing about liking you, is that school is a bit less awkward.
I really don't see girls as potential girlfriends anymore, and that's a help in school.

That sent me off into a fit of giggles. I'm not sure why.
I'm fucking freezing, too. Shivering while giggling is odd.

Glad I can be a help, though. I guess.
Even though it's really... You who's helping yourself.

Rant out of fucking nowhere.
How can one friend blame the other if they don't talk much?
If you wanted to talk so bad just stop by my profile, because I obviously have nothing to say.
One of my best friends I hardly even talk to once a week, and we're both fine with that.
Why must I keep constant upkeep with you to remain friends?
That's not even the problem though, the problem is that you blame me for severing our friendship when you start acting like a dick because I don't stop bye every fucking day.

Sorry for that, I just had to get it out somewhere.
I don't really want anyone else to see this, but I needed to say it.