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shakanaquanda    

Rank #21752 on Comments
shakanaquanda Avatar Level 214 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 21
Date Signed Up:3/03/2010
Last Login:9/19/2014
Location:outta this world
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#21752
Highest Content Rank:#18104
Highest Comment Rank:#4882
Content Thumbs: 48 total,  74 ,  26
Comment Thumbs: 1459 total,  1739 ,  280
Content Level Progress: 88.13% (52/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 54% (54/100)
Level 214 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 215 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:1
Content Views:477
Total Comments Made:546
FJ Points:1503
well helloooo young ones. my name is shakanquanda jones. i am not racist i just like telling racist jokes. even about my own self. so now hating. ill upload some pics and write what u think =]

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funny pictures

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    Uploaded: 12/10/11
    Ouch! Ouch!
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    Title Title
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    Uploaded: 07/03/11
    shitty comic shitty comic

latest user's comments

#27 - obviously not if you're trying to **** black people 09/08/2014 on The new Thor preview looks... +9
#25 - fixed* 1.those who admit they pee in the pool 2.dirty,… 02/23/2014 on Have you wondered +2
#32 - my schools mascot is an Ocelot swelling with pride atm 02/23/2014 on Cute animals +2
#8 - this.. this right here. and i've only been on my own for 3 weeks. 02/23/2014 on Adult life 0
#41 - 10/10 made me login, in my uni library 02/11/2014 on (untitled) 0
#116 - but its soo fun!! what could you be afraid of?  [+] (1 new reply) 01/19/2014 on Self Titled 0
User avatar #117 - ClockTank (01/19/2014) [-]
Drowning. I just feel like I can't breathe when I'm in water. I feel restricted. I also can't swim(obviously).
#109 - but how can you hold yourself? like... when i go to the beach …  [+] (3 new replies) 01/18/2014 on Self Titled 0
User avatar #112 - ClockTank (01/18/2014) [-]
Fear. That's about it. When I stand in the water, if a wave comes, I just walk backwards until its gone. I just don't get the urge to run into the water.
User avatar #116 - shakanaquanda (01/19/2014) [-]
but its soo fun!! what could you be afraid of?
User avatar #117 - ClockTank (01/19/2014) [-]
Drowning. I just feel like I can't breathe when I'm in water. I feel restricted. I also can't swim(obviously).
#107 - "OCD style".. continue..  [+] (1 new reply) 01/18/2014 on Self Titled 0
User avatar #121 - redstonealchemist (01/19/2014) [-]
i wet one hand with water (both hands dry = too dry to lather the soap properly and both wet = the soap loses consistency) and apply soap. depending on the soap, i may need more than one squirt of soap. the rule for squirting soap is that it must be one (if it's perfect), 2 because it's even, 3 because it's a good number, 4 because it's even, five because it's a good number, but not 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15, 17 or 19 and if the soap is so low quality that it needs more than 18 squirts then it must only be in multiples of 10.
once there's enough soap, it must be able to bubble up tremenduously when lathering and there must be a thick amount of bubbles covering both my hands, if i'm in doubt then i will wash my hands again and again until i'm convinced they're clean.
also i will compulsively smell my hands (mainly palms, fingertips and nails) to assure their hygienic state and i will also smell a bowl or cup before using as my OCD enables me to determine how clean something is and approximately how long ago it was washed based off the scented residue of dish soap.
also also i can tell if it dried properly or if it dried with bubbles on it (at which point i will rinse out the bubble residue).
also also also after learning that showering is more hygienic than cleaning in a bath, i see the 'normal' method if washing dishes as the 'bath version' of washing them and instead i wash them in a 'shower version' to enure they're cleaner.
hey, you asked.
#105 - wow dude.. thats pretty sad. i love swimming..  [+] (5 new replies) 01/18/2014 on Self Titled 0
User avatar #108 - ClockTank (01/18/2014) [-]
I used to, then something happened one day and now I just can't bring myself to get in the water. But hey, there's plenty more to do in the world, and I don't mind having to sit back and watch sometimes, it's kind of nice.
User avatar #109 - shakanaquanda (01/18/2014) [-]
but how can you hold yourself? like... when i go to the beach and look at the waves I immediately want to jump in and punch the shit out of them! how do you stop the urges??
User avatar #112 - ClockTank (01/18/2014) [-]
Fear. That's about it. When I stand in the water, if a wave comes, I just walk backwards until its gone. I just don't get the urge to run into the water.
User avatar #116 - shakanaquanda (01/19/2014) [-]
but its soo fun!! what could you be afraid of?
User avatar #117 - ClockTank (01/19/2014) [-]
Drowning. I just feel like I can't breathe when I'm in water. I feel restricted. I also can't swim(obviously).
#96 - haha i just laughed at the thought of you showering and water …  [+] (10 new replies) 01/18/2014 on Self Titled 0
User avatar #101 - redstonealchemist (01/18/2014) [-]
when i was 2 years old i saw a swimming pool for the first time and my mum was busy with my little sister and pregnant at the time and i was so excited that i jumped into the water and got pneumonia.
17 years later and despite not having a fear of water, i have a strong fear of getting my face wet, still cannot swim and have a strong reluctance to get any part of my body wet (excluding my hands when i wash them OCD style)
User avatar #107 - shakanaquanda (01/18/2014) [-]
"OCD style".. continue..
User avatar #121 - redstonealchemist (01/19/2014) [-]
i wet one hand with water (both hands dry = too dry to lather the soap properly and both wet = the soap loses consistency) and apply soap. depending on the soap, i may need more than one squirt of soap. the rule for squirting soap is that it must be one (if it's perfect), 2 because it's even, 3 because it's a good number, 4 because it's even, five because it's a good number, but not 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15, 17 or 19 and if the soap is so low quality that it needs more than 18 squirts then it must only be in multiples of 10.
once there's enough soap, it must be able to bubble up tremenduously when lathering and there must be a thick amount of bubbles covering both my hands, if i'm in doubt then i will wash my hands again and again until i'm convinced they're clean.
also i will compulsively smell my hands (mainly palms, fingertips and nails) to assure their hygienic state and i will also smell a bowl or cup before using as my OCD enables me to determine how clean something is and approximately how long ago it was washed based off the scented residue of dish soap.
also also i can tell if it dried properly or if it dried with bubbles on it (at which point i will rinse out the bubble residue).
also also also after learning that showering is more hygienic than cleaning in a bath, i see the 'normal' method if washing dishes as the 'bath version' of washing them and instead i wash them in a 'shower version' to enure they're cleaner.
hey, you asked.
User avatar #100 - ClockTank (01/18/2014) [-]
It happens a lot, I do a matrix in the shower whenever I have to face the water. It really sucks because all of my friends like to go to the beach and pool parties, and I'm just standing off to the side watching.

I mean, I'll go in up to my knees, but any farther and I just panic.
User avatar #105 - shakanaquanda (01/18/2014) [-]
wow dude.. thats pretty sad. i love swimming..
User avatar #108 - ClockTank (01/18/2014) [-]
I used to, then something happened one day and now I just can't bring myself to get in the water. But hey, there's plenty more to do in the world, and I don't mind having to sit back and watch sometimes, it's kind of nice.
User avatar #109 - shakanaquanda (01/18/2014) [-]
but how can you hold yourself? like... when i go to the beach and look at the waves I immediately want to jump in and punch the shit out of them! how do you stop the urges??
User avatar #112 - ClockTank (01/18/2014) [-]
Fear. That's about it. When I stand in the water, if a wave comes, I just walk backwards until its gone. I just don't get the urge to run into the water.
User avatar #116 - shakanaquanda (01/19/2014) [-]
but its soo fun!! what could you be afraid of?
User avatar #117 - ClockTank (01/19/2014) [-]
Drowning. I just feel like I can't breathe when I'm in water. I feel restricted. I also can't swim(obviously).
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