Is that lolwut to me, my username, my actions, or just a recent comment?

The username.

Well, it all started when I was just a little seed. As a typical plant, that's when I got my first "thought" as you humans might call them. I was just living as a typical plant seed, absorbing the nutrients I had before I could reach the ground and all of that stuff. The funny part begins when I finally settle down on the ground, where I can grow and make photosynthesis, but plot twist: I actually land on a dead girl! As a plant, I don't really give a fuck, but I get a crazy idea: What if I try to connect with this girl's brain? She felt like she was still fresh, and so I somehow made it, adjusting my roots in her head from her left eye, and I manage to control her body, only that I make it more plant-like. I make it so that she doesn't need a hearbeat and that she only needs to breathe one big breath a day, and after everything is complete, the body is completely under my control. Then I try to get my nourishment, since the body's getting dry. I try eating food and drinking water, but the human digestive system apparently doesn't work so well when mixed with me, and so I search far and wide for some way to get my nutrients. Finally, the body can't even move, I was without nourishment for a long time. Funny thing is that a homeless man appears, and by the looks of it, he was really "lonely" to put it with the best words. He takes the body and begins fucking it, and when he cums (luckily early enough), I feel myself being nourished by his semen. And so, I discovered the best way to get nutrition in a human body.

TL;DR: Fap on trees.

At first I thought this would be a copypasta, but...
Fasntnig.

Thank you.
You also seem nice, gas-mask christmas-commemorator.

why thank you

I'm sorry, but regular life with monster girl?