Oh, hello!

SOME DAY LOVE WILL FIND YOU
BREAK THOSE CHAINS THAT BIND YOU
ONE NIGHT WILL REMIND YOU

HOW WE TOUCHED AND WENT OUR SEPARATE WAYS

OH, I AM AS SHARP AS A CORONOUS NEEDLE
AS I AM COLD AS A MARBLE LIGHT
SKIN IS HARSH AS A RUSTED RAZOR


A NIGHTMARE LIVIN' IN YOUR MIND

WE FIGHT FOR JUSTICE IN A FORGOTTEN PLACE
FULFILL OUR DUTY THEN VANISH WITHOUT A TRACE
DON'T NEED A MEDAL FOR ALL THE MEN WE'VE KILLED

FREEDOM IS CALLING TO ALL MEN WHO BEND THEIR WILL

AND AS WE WIND ON DOWN THE ROAD
OUR SHADOWS TALLER THAN OUR SOUL
THERE WALKS A LADY WE ALL KNOW
WHO SHINES WHITE LIGHT AND WANTS TO SHOW
HOW EVERYTHING STILL TURNS TO GOLD
AND IF YOU LISTEN VERY HARD
THE TUNE WILL COME TO YOU AT LAST
WHEN ALL ARE ON AND ON IS ALL
TO BE A ROCK AND NOT TO ROLL

AND SHE'S BUYING A STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

AROUND THE WORLD AROUND THE WORLD
AROUND THE WORLD AROUND THE WORLD
AROUND THE WORLD AROUND THE WORLD

NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE
NUMBER NINE

THROUGH THE FIRE AND FLAMES WE CARRY ON

AND AS THE YEARS GO BY
OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL NEVER DIE

BECAUSE, BOY, YOU'VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME

THE MOST WONDERFUL THING ABOUT TIGGERS
IS THAT TIGGERS ARE WONDERFUL THINGS
THEIR TOPS ARE MADE OF THE RUBBER
THEIR BOTTOMS ARE MADE OF THE SPRING

THEIR BOUNCY FLOUNCY TROUNCY POUNCY
FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN
THE MOST WONDERFUL THING ABOUT TIGGERS IS
IIIIII'M THE ONLY ONE

WUT

NMNYEGH

Welp, you win.

Goodnight.
POYO! And Beauty Sleep and all that good stuff.

PPBBBLLBPBPBLBPLLBLPBLBLPL

BY FALLING ASLEEP!
GOOD NIGHT!

POYO

I don't even know, to be honest.

I'll think about it

maybe when Season 4 airs

Well I would love to see you around.
You're always welcome in my book!

I'm going to bed actually, good night.

Alrighty then!
Take care, man!

Thanks.

I just hope i changed though.

Probably!
How are you doing?

It's been a long time since we talked.

I'm doing good, yourself?

Yeah, I'm doing just fine!
What's up?

Nothing at the moment.

Well it's better than anything bad, at least.

New mascot i guess?

Well sort of.

I switch between Raiden and Twilight, and I often post Berry Punch during conversations.

I see.

how's friendly been?

It's been pretty much the same, I'd say. Still a fun place and all that jazz.

Not for me though, that's for sure.

Oh? Why's that?

I'm not wanted there and I know it.

Not wanted? Why would you think such a thing?

I've done a lot of dumb crap there.

Well sure, but mistakes are a part of life. You learn and then move on.
I don't care what you did, and I am sure plenty of others think the same. If someone can't forgive you for whatever you did, then that's their problem!

That's true, but I was an annoying prick there most of the time.

Oh come on.
At most they were bizarre shenanigans in terms of what your intentions were.

Coming back is useless.

it'll just happen all again

Well if that's your decision, then so be it.

I just don't think people will really care since it has been as long as it has been.

How long has it been

I don't know what you're talking about!
Don't change the subject!

Stop looking at me like that!
I don't get what you mean by a glare!

Nothing...

Don't you have anything to say, Dash?

Not really...

(I swore I replied to this. >.<)

I think you do.

(Happens to me all the time!)

I don't, okay. Get off my case.

Why can't you just see that I want to help?

I don't have to answer to you.

*Flies off*

(G'night :3)

Oh no you don't!

*Jumps*
*Falls*

...ow...

(Sleep well)

Oh come on. The least you could do is tell me THAT!
Stop leaving in the dark on everything!

Need I remind you that learning it from Rupt is just going to make it worse?

Try the thing again.

I told you, I don't want to force her.

Just try.

...Fine.

Dash. I want you to at least see where I am coming from when I tell you that you need to tell me what's up. I just want to help you.

My office. I've been the entire time.

Excuse me?

Just doing nothing?

Nothing, at all.

And why is this?

I'm safe there.

You're safe here, too.

...Scary?

Why are you looking at me like that?

Like... what?

That... Glare.

Glare? What glare?

You're glaring.

There is no need to worry. You can trust me. If anything happens, I'll handle it. Alright?

Either that or you change what I'm thinking to that.

I'm going to tell you this right now:
I have never used it on you. Not even once. It goes against my moral code.
You're free to make your own decisions, and I have never seen you in desperate need of help calming down.

I trust you, Scary.

I'm glad. Thank you.

I'm a bit jealous. I'd love to do it myself.

Well if you ever need, I can help you with anything, assuming it is within reason. But I'm sure you're not the type to use it for immoral purposes.

And of course, the offer to help is open to anything else, too. Not just the use of this mind trick. I want you to know that.

Appreciated.

But I must apologize again about earlier.
I understand that it must have been unsettling.

Scary, sir! Paperwork is done!

S and F simultaneously: You had no paper work.

Huh?

You heard us.

Fluttershy is here too?

Hey guys...

Yeah. She's been here for a while.
Before you left, even.

Oh.

I... Uh...

So now instead of just me, you have her all curious now.

...I...

Mm...

Come on, you can tell us!
We're all friends here!

I should probably head back to my office.

Paperwork? What pap-?!

Darn it...

She has no paperwork to do.

(Be right back, shower)

Yeah that's what I figured...

But hey! It's really nice to see you again! How are you?

(Alrighty then)

I am fine. And how about you?

Well it's been an interesting day, that's for sure. But I'm alright.
What have you been up to?

I've been in the corner for... The entire conversation.

... All of it.

I... I'm sorry. I couldn't have known.

...What was that thing you did?

...You noticed, huh?

Well, I can't lie to you. It's a... trick I have, and I'm not the only one.
I don't want you to worry, though. I have not once used it for any bad reasons, nor will I ever intend to.

What is it, specifically?

Well, uh...
The brain sends messages through electric currents. What I do is slightly alter those currents to make someone feel a certain emotion, and even change what they are thinking about.

I could get into a scientific rant about exactly how it works, but... I don't really get it either. I mean, by that logic, I could make them move like a puppet, but it doesn't work that way.

I've only used it to calm someone down or just make them think about sunshine and lollipops for a bit so they can forget about something that's troubling.

That sounds dangerous.

Oh yeah, it is.
Only to me, though. Almost killed me once, but that was when I was testing it out for the first time. I've gotten the hang of it since then.

...Who else can do this?

Well... uh... Trixie.
At least, that's the only one who you need to worry about.
I've been making a point to counter whatever tricks she tries to pull.

She can... Do that?

Unfortunately, yes.
It's one of the most stressful things about her being around.
I've had to stop the crud she tries to cause for a while now.

It's okay. She hasn't been successful yet.
Well... only with the innocent pranks. She's not pure evil or anything.

Trust me. It's okay.

I fear that she's plotting more.

I was under the impression that I was the only other one who knew. I apologize.

I think that's why he's so angry at me.

Well I wish you would talk to me about it.
I don't understand why it's such a big issue.

*Blushes*

I won't stop bugging you about it.

It's fine... Really...

You know, Rupt wants to take me to the bar tonight.
Orange juice for me, of course, but you know what he drinks. And I am sure you know that he is the kind of drunk who just spews out everything on his mind.

So that being said, you might as well just tell me.

*Looks away*

Do you really want Rupt to tell me?
He'll be drunk, and that means that he's probably going to make it sound bad.

It's already bad enough. Can't get worse.

I spilled my drink once.
He made it sound like the Hindenburg.

Trust me, sir.

Shouldn't you want me to know your side of the story?
If I knew now, it would be faster and easier for me to help you.

This, isn't something that can be helped.

That's funny. I remember Berry saying the same thing about her drinking problem, but look at her now.

But she was ju-

Erm, yeah. You're right.

If you were going to say she was just drinking something, it's fine.
It's like that coffee plan. She's allowed something to drink every now and then.

Right...

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh...

I think I forgot some paperwork. Better hop to it. See ya'!

I'm glad you think that.
Now, what were you saying earlier before you spaced out?

That's a good question. What was I saying?

I wasn't sure what you were ranting about, to be honest.

Perhaps you should just speak whatever is on your mind. Whatever pops up first must have been it.

Oh... Right, good idea!

Um... Something about assisting... Right?

No, no. I believe a few key words were "I really hate" and "that stupid little"
You should elaborate on that.

...I said that?

I must have been talking about... Trixie. Sorry.

Well that rules out that possibility...


Uh... no. I didn't hear "Trixie".
Just forget about Trixie for right now

Uh...

I really hate... That stupid little...

Stupid little who?
Ted?

Who's Ted?

Never mind.

Hehe... You're a bit confusing Scary, but okay.

Eh. I get that a lot.

You do?

Oh yeah, absolutely. You have no idea how many times Rupt has yelled at me for "my confusing split personality".
I don't really get what he's going on about, but it's something that annoys and confuses him, so I'm not complaining.

You annoy him? And he doesn't yell at you?

Well he used to yell at me a lot back in the early days.
Lately he's been more passive about it, though. Still gets his thoughts out of course, but hardly ever does he really raise his voice.

He yells at me a lot.

Well you're still relatively "new" here. He'll tone it down eventually. Don't worry.
Besides, you two seem like great drinking buddies.

Does everyone have to mention that?

...And... how long have you been my assistant?

Since I've been head of those departments. Which I've been ignoring until I came back. Sorry.

I'm never told anything it seems.

But, now you are.

And you're okay with this?

That's what assistants do, they assist.

Alright, alright. Simmer down.

Sorry, am I too loud?

No, you're fine. Don't apologize over something like that. It's silly.

(reason why doctor is feeling down: www.funnyjunk.com/user/thecorruptll/3919#3919)

Right.. Sorry...

(That awkward moment when I'm not friends with that account)

Don't apologize for that, either. You didn't do anything wrong.

(Basically, Trixie was being herself to Dash)

Okay... Okay.

You really need to loosen up. Can you do that?

Is that... Medically possible? Isn't that bad for your bones?

Loosen up. Now.

How are you feeling?

I feel... Weird. Yet, calm and at ease. What just happened?

How should I know?
You just picked yourself up all of a sudden.

I'm not sure what happened, but it sure feels nice!

And didn't we have an agreement on the whole sir thing?

I may be ranked as your superior, but we are equals. Got it?

Oh come on, don't worry about that, sir.

(Spell. :3)

...Fine.
It's your choice, so I won't force you

(That seems really mean, don't you think?)

Thank you, Scary.

(It's a story. Make your character a bit different than you.)

Okay, you need to make up your mind!

(Well is it effective on others who can also do it?)

okay, okay. Sorry.

(I'd say no. Then it'd get confusing. Say if, you did it on Trixie, then Trixie to someone else, it could get strange. So let's keep it to those who can do it, can only do it to those who can't.)

Ah, don't apologize.
Listen, I need you to do something for me.

(So be it.)

Yes, sir?

You know of Octavia, correct? One of the agents.

I know of her, yes. Why?

Well long story short, she's upset with me. More than usual, I mean. But as far as I know, she is okay with you.
That being said, it would be much appreciated if you could figure out if she's cooled down by now. I need to talk to her eventually, and I don't want to risk going near and getting pelted with blunt objects.

I'm not exaggerating about that, by the way. It happened last time.

The least I can do for you.

It's appreciated. Thank you.

Anything I can do for you?

No, that's all I need.
Don't you have your own job you need to be doing anyways? Why do you keep offering to help me out?

That's what an assistant does.

Assistant?
Last I checked you were a doctor.

Doctor, but also a manager of several departments. At least 3 of which are under you. And the head of the department(Me, in two of those cases) is regarded as your assistant.

So, I'm your assistant, twice.

*dodges*
Hey! Quit that!

As soon as you stop accusing me of stuff!

But you just proved what I was accusing you of!

Hey Scary! Did you finish filing that paperwo-

Did I come at a bad time?

No, no. Just... shenanigans.

What did you say you need?

The...Paperwork. Sir. I gave them to you for safekeeping?

You'll have to freshen my memory.
Are we talking the actual paperwork, or the "hush-hush" one?

What was the hush-hush one about again? Guy left, so it's fine.

Well if you don't know, then I assume you mean the actual paperwork.

Look in the cabinet on your six. Second drawer.

Thank you.

But really... I've been quite busy. So I can't remember. What was the hush-hush about?

Well for a second there I thought you were trying to be discrete about what's been happening between you and that one fellow who scares me.

Trixie scares you too?

Well... yeah, but key word: Fellow.

Unless... there's something you guys haven't been saying.

I...

I was just talking to her...

And then it's like... I couldn't stop agreeing with her.

(Rupt and I are considering giving unicorns the power to "hypnotise" someone. It'd be limited to one person, and only when that individual is in a state capable of being influenced.)

Agreeing with Trixie?
...Hold on let me grab the newspaper.
*leaves* ...

*returns*
All right, let's see...
Nope, no pigs flying... No snowball fights in hell...
Well that's odd.

I don't know how it happened. I just slowly fell into... It was almost like a trance.

(Also, it's something you can do.)

Doesn't that sound suspicious to you?

(Personally, I might not "use" that. It's too manipulative for me)

It does.

(Don't have to use it to be manipulative. You can use it to calm someone down, or have someone do something for you.)

Especially since it is Trixie. I'm going to have to look into this later.

(Well either way, I'm fine with it being implemented)

Thank you...

I really appreciate it, sir.

(It's just a story. Feel free to try it out sometime. :3)

Sounds fun, sure!

Could you get me latte while you're at it?

Just say when!

If I ever get to meet you, I promise to buy you a latte.

Oh, so NOW you're fine with me drinking coffee!

We can stretch the rules sometimes. I do it most of the time. So if you're my lil bro, I can't tell you NOT to do it!

Fair enough.

Now I hope you realize I really would look forward to that.

Look forward to what? Bending the rules?

'Course! Bending the rules is fun!

Well... perhaps to an extent.

Duh! Bend it too much and you'll break the rules! We don't want that. Just bend em'.

Okay, man, just... just calm down.
It's all good.

Are you sure? I could go on.

NOONONONonoononoonnno!
It's fine! Just settle down, buddy!

Fiiiine.

Now put down the cake...

...You think I'm going to put down delicious cake?

Well... it looked like you were about to throw it.

Me? Throw cake? Get real!

So... you deny that you have ever thrown a cake?

I take offense to that!

*Throws cake at Scary*

Hi there!

What's up?

Not much, you?

Just enjoying my first day of Summer.

You're on summer early!

Early?

-ier than me.

Oh. Sorry to hear that.

It's slow torture. I can't believe you got off so early.

Well I probably started the year earlier.

So you got off... One whole day earlier than me? That's hardly fair.

Well if it makes you feel better, I didn't get to have lunch today.

Me either. Or tomorrow.

Huh? Why?

They kick seniors out before it's time for lunch.

That's... kind of messed up.

Kind of hilarious too.

"Thanks for graduating with us! Now I hope you've had lunch, because you aren't taking anymore from us!"

At least school lunches aren't very good. You're not missing much.

...Unless your school is one of those fancy ones with actual food.

I'm actually walking to Starbucks get myself a victory lunch, then I'm headed home!

Up for some videos sometime?

I assume you want me to get on Skype?

its skype time

Yea, cuz In 90 minutes, It's MGS time with Ryan

Sup buuuuuuuuuddy

So have you been?

Not bad, actually. I got some awesome news that I was the only one in my English class to get 100% on our latest essay. It was pretty great!

Nice, I did a PT (physical training) test
I was among the top in my class

Oh man, PT tests, huh?
I'm not unfit or anything, but I have some bad memories of those things when I took an ROTC class last year.

WHICH BRANCH??

Air Force.

Now, I know the Air Force isn't considered as tough as the Marines or Girl Scouts, but my instructor was. She was a very scary lady.

Im joining the Air Force as an Officer as you know
but my ROTC unit is Navy
Chief Petty Officer McCann awaits further orders.

Yes, I remember you talking about that.
But hey, my brother is a part of the Air Force, and even he admits the physical training isn't as harsh.

No shit, they're mostly engineers and technicians

Which is why they're my favorite branch, even though I don't care for military stuff.

You'd get your ass kicked in so many places for saying the last part

Yeah, I know. That's one reason I decided to get out of the ROTC class. It was mainly for the sake of learning flight history, anyways. It intrigued me.

Makes me wonder.... what exactly do you wanna... do?

I'm not entirely sure, but I think I want to get into video production.
I could draw, animate, video record, and work with computers. It would be great to be able to work on movies and do commercials.

....Manwhore

Excuse me?

Just do it

Do what?
How am I a manwhore?

No, Im saying you should become a manwhore
also you got your mic?

Oh come on. What is life without complexity?

Simple.

Oh, the sweet joys of simple.

I grew up simple: I am, technically, the murderer of my mother, and my home was a wreck with 17 siblings.

Huh. Join the club. I need a new member.

What part of my statement is the basis of this club?

The former, and sort of the latter.

Your mother died during your birth, too?

Or the sibling thing?

It was after my birth, and they weren't my siblings. Remember what I said about the children camps?

Oh.


I just immediately thought of the time when, uh, we found a church filled with orphan bodies. I thought you meant something like that.

Oh, no. I'm talking about children being abducted and being forced to become soldiers.
I got sent to one of those camps for half a year. One week in, they sent us to go kill each other. I just hid for 6 months until someone came to save me.

Reminds me of my forced enlistment.
Corrupt fucking Sperkian government.


Nothing bad like that, though. It was that or be shot by a firing squad.

Another reason why I feel like it is not something that should be compared for the sake of finding out who had it worse.

But it's fun.


Well, anyways, anything within those extermination camps was probably worse than what we've witnessed.

Oh, and, please don't mention camps.
It really makes my mind go towards a certain memory.

I understand.

Well, friend, it's actually nice to get a few answers from you.

It's been crossing my mind since day one.

Anyways, goodnight.
Have a great sleep.

And it's nice to get those answers out, I suppose.

But yeah. Good night, and take care.

Well... why not?
I can't just do the same thing over and over again my entire life.

I'll never get a straight answer from you.

Just have to ask politely.

Could you tell me why you chose such a career, please?

Technically, it was more than one career.

Come on, Mr. I-worked-as-a-mercenary-for-quite-a-few-years-and-then-isolated-myself-from-the- world-in-the-woods.

I never used the word mercenary. It sort of implies I killed people.

But anyways, I figured that was a decent choice, because it gave me my own schedule, and I could see the world.
As for the woods part, it was intended to be a learning experience for a worst case scenario.

You've never.. murdered?

It helps to be stealthy.

But, there was one. It was a kill or be killed situation, and honestly, I was ready to be killed.

Eh.



Our experiences are so different.
I don't mean to offend you or anything, but uh.. it doesn't seem as harsh as what I saw.

Well, you're not incorrect, I suppose, but I really don't think it is something to be compared. You were on the front lines, witnessing endless death and destruction, and I was forced to watch children wither away and try and kill each other just to survive. It's not a contest. Both are equally horrible.

You take into consideration major lack of communication and substantial amounts of friendly fire, and maybe our experiences aren't that different.

I'm glad you see it that way, at least.

Jokes aside, it wasn't the actual war that fucked me over.


It was, quite frankly, the souls I felt attached to just fading without memory.

I wish I couldn't sympathize with you there.

The more I think about it..


The more it feels as if though I replaced all of them with all of you people.
Berry, Octavia, you..

It's just..
I don't know.

Well hey, look at it this way.
It means you have people on your side. It means people were on your side in the past.
Despite all the the hardships you went through, someone was there by your side. For the most part, at least.

I guess.

For two long, sad years, I felt none of that.
Nothing was on my side.

I was torn, shredded, left haunted.
Not by the war. No, not the war. Just the feeling of loss.
I don't blame the war. I never did.

But even so, someone appeared by your side eventually.

Oh, and then life became far more complex to handle when this all started.


Maybe it was better watching the farm animals slowly die from hunger.

NEVER!

You gotta balance shit out!

Even aesthetics!

I understand, but a bowler? Come on!
It's not my style! I've told you!

Fine, fine!

You can wear the trilby!

Thank you.

...Not on your grave, right?

Whenever that may be...

Trilby it is, then!

I still think the bowler is better.

I'm not denying that it is a good hat.
It just doesn't fit my style.

What kind of style is that?

A pair of leather gloves and shower-capped shoes, with your silly little silenced pistol?

I don't know why you are considering a silenced pistol as a negative thing.
It is very effective.

You dishonorable fucks wouldn't last a minute on the front lines.

And you're right.
We've gone over this before, haven't we?

It just.. piques my interest is all.

Please. Do go on.