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phynight

Last status update:
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Date Signed Up:5/31/2011
Last Login:7/26/2016
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#1831
Comment Ranking:#3282
Highest Content Rank:#273
Highest Comment Rank:#736
Content Thumbs: 17780 total,  19094 ,  1314
Comment Thumbs: 11502 total,  11921 ,  419
Content Level Progress: 60.5% (605/1000)
Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 214 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 73% (73/100)
Level 287 Comments: More Thumbs Than A Hiroshima Survivor → Level 288 Comments: More Thumbs Than A Hiroshima Survivor
Subscribers:54
Content Views:803592
Times Content Favorited:1116 times
Total Comments Made:1049
FJ Points:22282
Favorite Tags: funny (5) | Blacksmithing (3) | Metalwork (3) | comic (2) | OC (2)

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Text Posts

HD Gifs / WebMs

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    Miscellaneous gifs Miscellaneous gifs
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    Real swordfighting Real swordfighting
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    Corgi bellyflop Corgi bellyflop
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    Trolling IRL Trolling IRL
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    Smooth trooper Smooth trooper
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    Why? Why?
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    Uploaded: 05/05/14
    This is why I live in cold places This is why I live in cold places

latest user's comments

#23 - **phynight used "*roll picture*"** **phynight rolled image ** 07/24/2016 on You won a new car 0
#4 - Well that is basically how Boris Johnson started his career, o… 07/20/2016 on Gordon Ramsey for PM of the... +1
#8 - Isn't that basically what happened in Pompeii? 07/13/2016 on plaster blaster 0
#580 - **phynight used "*roll picture*"** **phynight rolled image ** 07/11/2016 on Pokemon GO Rolling 0
#16 - Picture  [+] (3 new replies) 07/09/2016 on -_- +33
User avatar
#19 - thatbritishbrony (07/09/2016) [-]
That actually explains a lot...... ta
User avatar
#27 - johrny (07/09/2016) [-]
Are you proud of that one?
User avatar
#30 - thatbritishbrony (07/09/2016) [-]
Little bit
#57 - Dredd is based on the comic books which are well remembered, n… 07/08/2016 on About Movie Remakes -1
#6 - "Oh crap, demons are invading" "Where's Doo… 07/04/2016 on Found a neat fallout... +21
#9 - Everything is a dick joke if you look at it hard enough.  [+] (15 new replies) 07/04/2016 on ur mother +284
User avatar
#61 - Deavas (07/05/2016) [-]
lol hard
#27 - anon (07/04/2016) [-]
How many cocks is a MILE OF COCK?
1 Mile = 63360 Inches. Average Cock is 6.5 inches. 9748 Average Cocks = Mile.

So a woman in her 20's, who goes to clubs, riding 104 cocks per year = 650 inches of cock. When she's 30 it's 6500 inches of cock.
With an average of 104 cocks per year (riding 1 cock for both days of the 52 weekends per year) that means your average slutty woman rides a literal MILE OF COCK every 1500 weekends. So about 14 years + 22 weekends (5 months) of cock-riding for the average slutty woman.

So for a woman that gets sexed twice per week from the age of 20 years will, at age 34 in May of that year will have LITERALLY rode 1 solid mile of male cock in her lifetime.

The average modern woman goes through 20 cocks in an year. (Not this ugly TRANNY in the video though)
The average woman in her 20s, who goes out clubbing every week, easily breaks into the 50-100/year range. (52 weekends of 2 days each equals 104 cocks per year).
With Tinder, it's not uncommon to find girls who have sex with a different guy 2-3 times a week. And these are not the hypersexual sluts, but girls you'd probably find normal and sweet and wouldn't think twice before bringing home to introduce to your parents.

Of course, if the woman rides 3 cocks per week she will have rode a mile of cock from age 20 to age 29 in July of that year.

CALCULATION TECHNIQUE.
*MILE OF COCKS*
(Average Number of cocks per week rode) x (52 weeks per year) = (Cocks per year)
(Cocks per year) x (Average Cock Size = 6.5 inches) = (Inches of Cock Per Year)
Divide 9748 (Average Cocks per mile) by (Inches of Cock Per Year) = (years to reach a mile of cock)
Subtract INTEGER YEAR VALUE leaving the decimal point. Multiply that value by 52 to get remainder of weeks.
Since months are irregular in length us this calculator to get the month.
www.convertunits.com/from/weeks/to/months

EXAMPLE CALCULATION
(Average Number of cocks per week rode) x (52 weeks per year) = (Cocks per year)
(Average of 4 cocks per week rode) x (52) = (4 x 52) = 208 cocks per year.
(208 cocks per year) x (Average Cock Size = 6.5 inches) = (1352 Inches of Cock Per Year)
(Average cocks per mile = 9748) / (1352 Inches of Cock Per Year) = 7.21005917 years to ride a mile of cock.
7.21005917 years to ride a mile of cock = 7 years + 11 weeks (2 months)

General Optimized Math
(9748 / (52 x 6.5)) / (Cocks Per Week)
(28.840236)/ (Cocks Per Week) = (Years to Ride 1 Mile of Cock)

Number Table
Average Cocks Rode Per Week
1 = 28 years + 44 weeks (10 months) to ride ONE MILE OF COCK
2 = 14 years + 22 weeks (5 months) to ride ONE MILE OF COCK
3 = 9 years + 32 weeks (7 months) to ride ONE MILE OF COCK
4 = 7 years + 11 weeks (2 months) to ride ONE MILE OF COCK
5 = 5 years + 40 weeks (9 months) to ride ONE MILE OF COCK
#62 - saytwaa (07/05/2016) [-]
User avatar
#57 - sirfurnace (07/05/2016) [-]
Anon did the math. Color me impressed.
User avatar
#37 - esfcxds (07/04/2016) [-]
So she puts the ooh ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang in, then gets off?

(You need to include average strokes to orgasm)
#43 - anon (07/04/2016) [-]
If I hand you a cooked hotdog in a bun...
...it isn't magically multiplying itself into multiple new hotdogs if I erotically slide it back and forth in the bun.
User avatar
#46 - esfcxds (07/04/2016) [-]
its about how much it touches the bun

for example, you slide it in, then slide it in again
thats the equivalent of 2 hotdogs surface area it's touched

(sorry if its confusing, i couldnt word it better)
#48 - anon (07/04/2016) [-]
Perhaps we need an animation.
Maybe a cheerful woman wearing only a bra (no panties) sliding through ghost-body men (when the woman slides into them they fade a bid and she keeps on sliding), but riding their solid cocks like one long railing slide.

She starts the slide as a young woman, but as the cocks per mileage increases she becomes a used up old hag.

Is that a clearer mental image?
User avatar
#32 - haranaslicer (07/04/2016) [-]
The average dick is 6.5 inches? Hahaha shit..



Shit...
User avatar
#56 - cannibalvegan (07/05/2016) [-]
Average cawk size for the U.S. is about 5.5-5.8 inches bone pressed. Bone pressed is when you push your ruler into the pubic bone so that the fat pad does not affect the results, there are actually obese men out there with 8 inch dongs that look like 4-5 inches because of the fat hiding it. Considering the fact that the average fat pad is 0.5-1 inches the non bone pressed length would be closer to 5 inches.

#44 - anon (07/04/2016) [-]
No, more accurate reports put it actually just below 6 inches. Don't worry brah.
#63 - anon (07/05/2016) [-]
If you want a different calculation, go ahead, I won't stop you.
Average Penis Length Per Nation varies.

General Optimized Math
(P = Penis Length in inches)
(9748 / 52) x P)) / (Cocks Per Week)
(187.46154 / P ) / (Cocks Per Week) = (Years to Ride 1 Mile of Cock)
brobible.com/life/article/average-penis-size-study/
memolition.com/2013/07/07/average-penis-size-by-country/

Have fun. Everything good in life comes from two men having dick-measuring contests (and hopefully a bit more fun after that).
#30 - anon (07/04/2016) [-]
I have no clue why but this, this russels my jimmies
#28 - willindor (07/04/2016) [-]
Now that's a lotta dong
User avatar
#19 - chillybilly (07/04/2016) [-]
Lol
you said hard
#9 - What do you want in a game? Shooting: 10/10 Violence…  [+] (7 new replies) 07/03/2016 on Not sure what I... +15
#33 - anon (07/03/2016) [-]
Plot is simple, not overthinked, good.
And brutal.
Sequel maybe will show it better.
The game is showing it "Lore in 1 minute" style.

Plot in nutshell:

Do not read next spoiler if you want to be surprised


You are ancient bad-ass who is responsible for death of Your people (if i got it good from the net).
You were tricked to bring DOOM to your people.
Sheer force of anger alone is fueling you to destroy more and more demons, because revenge.


Demons:
FUCK YOU. DIE.
...
WAIT. DO NOT DIE!
Demons are sealing you in tomb. If you die, you go to the hell. And demons do not want it because of reasons.

You are waked by Satan oculists.
Main scientist, CEO of UAC is calling you for help.
You help in your style.
CEO IS PISSED.
He mugs you.
Sends back to hell because fuck you.

Sequel is in plans, i am 80% sure.
#36 - darkjack (07/03/2016) [-]
not quite (spoilers):

DOOM 1:
YOU ARE DOOM MARINE! PUSSY MILITARY BOSS SENT YOU TO MARS 'CAUSE YOU PUNCHED SRGT. IN FACE! FUCK! DAEMONS APPEAR! YAY! KILLING! KILL SPIDER THING THAT CAUSED THIS! SAVED THE DAY

DOOM 2:
PUSSY ASS DEMONS INVADED EARTH! FUCK THAT NOISE! KILLING! I WILL KILL SO ALL THE HUMANS ALIVE CAN ESCAPE INTO SPACE! OH NO! MY HOME TOWN IS THE PORTAL TO HELL! MORE KILLING! TRIP TO HELL TO KILL SHIT! SAVE THE DAY!

FINAL DOOM:
GOD DAMN DEMONS DONT LEARN! KILLING THEM ALL! THIS TIME, I'M STAYING IN HELL TO PUNISH THEM FOR BEING DICKS!

DOOM (2016):
before the game: YOU KILLED SO MANY DEMONS THEY WORSHIPPED YOU AS A LITERAL GOD OF DEATH! WOO! WAIT, TRICKY ASSHOLES LOCKED YOU IN A ROCK! FUCK!!
Durring the game: ASSHOLE COPORATION OPENED PORTAL TO HELL, FUCK! HOW NICE OF HELL CULTISTS TO OPEN YOUR ROCK, YAY! KILLING THE LOOSERS, 2 OR 3 MORE TRIPS TO HELL! WOO! KILLING! ASSHOLE CEO TRICKED YOU AND PUSHED YOU BACK INTO HELL! FUCK!
#34 - anon (07/03/2016) [-]
Forgot to login.
this is me: JOHN CENA
#19 - SirMartin (07/03/2016) [-]
Thanks for the summary.

I just checked Steam and I found something that's quite rare as of late.

I'm going to test it, before buying it
User avatar
#23 - waffies (07/03/2016) [-]
Story and character development are shallow like the others said, but it's because they are truly set in stone. Can't fault that too hard.

Doom marine is a brutal killing machine full of wrath who knows a good deed when he sees it (several small details in the old games and a few in the new example it)

Story is just adaptation of old into new. Demons on mars: rip and tear their guts. Anything else was just to explain where you're going next, but ultimately did something I'm hyped as fuck for: it set up for what could be a godly sequel

That's my two bits
User avatar
#17 - Titanasgr (07/03/2016) [-]
Well, I mean, sometimes you just want to shoot stuff in the face.
User avatar
#12 - EdwardNigma (07/03/2016) [-]
I needed no character development beyond "Feared by Hell itself"
#55 - "Fifty Sue is an omnipotent being who possess immense pow… 07/01/2016 on Comic Comp #21 I Have Returned +3