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phantomonkey    

Rank #10283 on Comments
phantomonkey Avatar Level 208 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Consoles Owned: Xbox 360
Video Games Played: Dark Souls
X-box Gamertag: MushyBird
Interests: Dark Souls
Date Signed Up:8/05/2013
Last Login:9/01/2014
Location:Pen Island
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#10283
Highest Comment Rank:#3011
Comment Thumbs: 1250 total,  1344 ,  94
Content Level Progress: 6.77% (4/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 80% (8/10)
Level 208 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 209 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:0
Total Comments Made:418
FJ Points:1089
Sometimes I hide in the oven and hope someone turns me into cookies. It's pretty fun being made of marshmallows, but it's difficult to be in the line of work I'm in. As a firefighter, I shoot Pyromancers with my laser gun pinata named Rodriguez Montivo Alabaster III. Spaghetti is quite likely to be the greatest human invention since spaghetti. I like Dark Souls, so Praise the Sun and what-not... I don't like talking about myself, so how about we talk about you, baby? What's yo name?

latest user's comments

#96 - I learned that from The Oatmeal English class. 08/30/2014 on What you've done is horrible +1
#81 - Raccoons are up there with kittens when it comes to cuteness f…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/30/2014 on Damnit Ringley +1
User avatar #85 - PVTDickStryker (08/30/2014) [-]
I have a friend who's had her dog attacked and its puppies eaten by raccoons sneaking in through the doggy door.
User avatar #94 - WolfPrince (08/30/2014) [-]
Thought that is a shame, not all individuals from a species are the same.
Not to mention it's in a wild animals nature to eat whatever is available.
#351 - Finally, a way around Vagina Dentata! 08/30/2014 on Science is so amazing +1
#144 - Ah, there it is... It's so accurate. 08/29/2014 on actual PTSD +6
#77 - Going into a bathroom to fix your hair. Then turning on the si…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/29/2014 on *Swells with patriotic jelly* +1
User avatar #136 - womo (08/29/2014) [-]
I feel like I have to wash my hands, even if I didn't actually go to the toilet. I don't even touch the door because there is more than likely someone else holding it for you. Either way I still wash my hands because I feel judged otherwise.
User avatar #79 - cuntism (08/29/2014) [-]
I'm a nervous shitter, I just can't shit in an occupied bathroom, so if someone is in there I'll go in, pretend to piss, then go out, wait for the person to come out then go back in
#125 - FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT! Thank you! 08/29/2014 on This guy knows whats up 0
#128 - Wah Naaaaaayyyy..... 08/29/2014 on She thinks she's... 0
#162 - I think the internet houses some scary minds.  [+] (1 new reply) 08/27/2014 on Five Nights~ 0
User avatar #163 - adunsaveme (08/27/2014) [-]
Surprise
#159 - I've never played the game myself, but aren't the animatrons s…  [+] (9 new replies) 08/27/2014 on Five Nights~ 0
User avatar #176 - tallasscat (08/27/2014) [-]
the drawings were before people found out about the backstory of them
User avatar #191 - arstya (08/27/2014) [-]
Even then we don't give much of a fuck.
User avatar #175 - vlahkayaay (08/27/2014) [-]
that is the secret lore that you can read on little newspaper clippings you can read through the security cameras, yes.
User avatar #174 - fucktotheyou (08/27/2014) [-]
"Hey internet this thing exists"
"Time to get to work"
#170 - theonethatknew (08/27/2014) [-]
There are no exceptions for rule 34. None.
#164 - niralius (08/27/2014) [-]
dirty nasty furries!

you thought this was going to say i was furry right?
User avatar #161 - adunsaveme (08/27/2014) [-]
What do you think?
User avatar #162 - phantomonkey (08/27/2014) [-]
I think the internet houses some scary minds.
User avatar #163 - adunsaveme (08/27/2014) [-]
Surprise
#18 - Damn you, you joke thief. I was gonna make that joke again! 08/25/2014 on Party Pug +1

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