I'm sorry, bby.

Hot. Anyways, I gotta go now. Bai!

kthxbai

Too late for that at the moment.

I know.

Anyways, I'm going really soon and need to get ready. I'll see you later if you're still here, alright?

okay. Wuv woo

That was officially the best movie I've seen all year so far. Probably one of the best movies I've ever seen, actually.

The storyline was absolutely amazing.

WHERE ISH THE TRIGGER?!?!?! WHERE ISH ITTT!?

Also, this is a picture of Heath Ledger during production of the Dark Knight.

And here is a picture of Heath Ledger after the production of The Dark Knight.

I wish he was still alive.

I do too. He was a good actor.

Plus, I wish he could have at least made a cameo in Rises.

This little girl got a microscope and is looks at all sorts of things she can find. She even asked for help from professional scientists. I d'awwed.

Has she found the cure to cancer yet? Because it needs to be destroyed.

No. Not yet.

So what's up?

Not much. Just drawing. You?

Watcha drawin'?

Debating whether or not to play TF2.

Batman fucking the shit out of Catwoman.
Loljk.

You should, I think. I'm going soon anyways.

>Batman fucking catwoman
>She removes mask after
>It's actually Clayface
>batman gets raped
>Robin touches his nipples out of fear

Servers at 2 am usually suck.

what the fuck am I looking at ;_;

A nude photo of my girlfriend.

At least my mother isn't on the cover of crack-whore magazine.

At least my magazine isn't on the cover of your crack-whore mother.

You're such a fatass, the whenever you walk down the street people say "GOD! That is one FAT-ASS."

The ass was fat.

No, Eleni, that's a bad Eleni!

MARBEL

Wat

She's from a show. The only watchable show on Disney for me.
Even if it is pretty stupid.

What show?

Gravity Falls.

k

I'm going to go see The Dark Night Rises tonight.

Have you seen the first two?

No, but my cousins' invited me to go and the movie theater has awesome nachos.
I probably won't understand the movie, but there's no harm in going. Also, I'll be right back.

You probably won't get the same effect. Plus, those are some of the best movies ever. For shame, Eleni.

I was going to go to the 2nd one, but I ended up not wanting to go because I felt sick I think.. I am ashamed of myself.

DVDs.

Okay.. do you think she's cute?

Sure.

She's only four years younger than you.

What does it matter what I think?

I'm asking all my friends.
So far, a 7/10 and 8/10.

Quick! Look! PORN!

Her titties look identical to mine.

I'm just going to assume you'd give her a good rating if you weren't uncomfortable about it so yeah thanks.

Okay.

THE ONE BOOBED LADY!

Where's the lesbian porn you slut?

Lesbians always try to ham it up during those scenes.

The blonde chick has to be thinking "lol who the fuck is this bitch"

I WISH I COULD DO THAT

I'm out of porn so here's a panda doing a barrel roll.

lol tits

No, I understand what you're getting at.
They are technically capable of producing children, it's just that they're incapable of doing so with their partner. Kind of like people who don't want to have children, they could do it, they just choose not to.

I get it.

So. Would you fuck Navi?

HEY
HEY LISTEN
HEY LISTEN
HEY LISTEN

WATCH OUT for my luscious fairy tittays.

I was going to say something funny but then I realized I'm not funny.

I know that feel all too well.

Want to see a picture of my girlfriend?
(don't ask why I'm doing this)

But... why?

She has green eyes, mother fucker.

Rate her on a scale of 10. Do eet.

I don't feel comfortable doing that.

I don't mind what you say.

So why ask?

I don't mind what it is, but I want to know what it is.
gooby pls

I dunno. Average, I suppose.

So.. 5/10?

Sure.

Do you think she's hot? :D

Are you Chris Hansen?

You know, I don't like blue eyes very much.

Exceptions, bro.

Of course. :P

Talking about sex with a 13 year old at 4 am. Oh, Orson, what are you doing with your life?

Well now it's 10PM and you're talking about yourself with a 13 year old.

please don't babort me

I won't babort you, but I might abort you..

my bff tried to babort me

omg what hapened

i started kiking her tummy in affection, but she jumped down a flight of stairs

omg dats gay

Can I ask you something that is likely to offend you?

Go ahead.
(sorry about the late reply, mother wanted me to do something for her)

How is homosexuality not a disease? Not that I have anything against homosexuals, but humans are meant to procreate. Homosexuals can't do that. Again, I'm not bashing, I was just wondering.

Science has proved it's not a disease, and everyone knows science is always right no matter what always.
I'm being sarcastic, of course. Diseases negatively affect your health though, whether it be physical, mental, anything. Does homosexuality do that to anyone?

Well, they can't breed... That can be considered negative for people who don't care about overpopulation.

Well, overpopulation is a negative for everyone, so technically, those who can't breed are better than those who can produce children.

But sterility is considered a disease. I'm sorry if I sound like I hate gays. I don't.

I'm serious. Spr srs.

god dmmit elni

feels batman
feels real batman

Did your parents just get killed?

How'd you know?

I did it.

Would there ever be a situation in which you would kill yourself?

No.

Okay.

I think gay pride parades are stupid.

I think any pride is stupid.

I agree.

I have a fetish for chicks with short hair. Long hair can be nice, but god damn. That shit is fucking hot.

Like lesbian hair?

Kind of like this.

Can I have a picture where I can see the actual hairstyle? :P

This is about as good as I could do.

That's pretty hot, actually.
What's your favourite hair colour?

I like everything. Blonde is my least favorite, but i can make exceptions.

"Hot redhead with her agitated pussy"

The suicide of another is one of the most depressing things one can go through.

But what if you don't know them?

The concept of another human being ending their life, especially in a situation where they feel it's the only way to escape pain they feel that is endless, is a depressing one. People feel responsible, they feel guilt. They wish they would have done something, spoke to the person for once, just to try and change their life. To improve it.

It's sad shit, bro.

Would you feel guilt if it were me? I mean, you HAVE spoken to me. So how could you feel guilty?

People always regret what they never had a chance to do, or to say.
I'd feel guilt. I'd feel extremely guilty. I haven't helped you feel any better, and even if I attempted to, it would have no effect.

What if you never knew?

Never knew what?

If I... you know.

I'd have to know about it to be able to feel emotions toward it.

You wouldn't know about it.

You wouldn't care if I did either, if you weren't aware of my death.

I know. I would care that you were gone, even if it was just because you didn't like me any more.

Well, I do like you.

I don't think you should.

Why not?

Why should you?

'cause you're a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything.

srsly

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I knew this would be tough on you.

Are you.. are you seeing another fandom?

Would you fuck Harley Quinn?

Yeah, if she didn't speak at all.
Have you ever played Lollipop Chainsaw?

What do you mean if she didn't speak. Her voice is attractive. Even the Tara Strong version.

I saw it. It seemed interesting. But the humour looks shitty. So I didn't get it.

Imagine her orgasms, though.

Yeah, I guess.

I don't understand the negatives here...

I feel like playing Fallout but I know I'll die right away.

How would you die that quick?

Last time I saved I was in a 5 against 1 battle against the Legion. :C

Autosaves, bro.

But think of the glory holes!

GEE BILL HOW COME YOUR MOM LETS YOU EAT TWO WIENERS
I'M BATMAN

I saw someone who is considered cruel and heartless tell someone not to kill themselves with no sarcasm. They didn't even know this person. People take this stuff pretty seriously, huh?

I'm so sad. I'm very, very sad.

Why?

I don't know.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I make you miserable all the time.

I think I'm taking a stand for all of Watermelon kind by saying that you don't make me miserable.

I thought you said you were honest.

The only person who can make me miserable is myself. I don't have to deal with any situations I'm put in the way I do.

Good, you're acting happy again. Time for more angst.

I wish I was talented.

Talent is earned through work.

Talent is a base that is built upon.

http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=SXKrsJZWqK0
I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN

There's no such thing as natural talent.
Building a skill takes time and patience. One that might interest you is drawing.

You know those drawings that I sometimes make that are funny because they look terribad? That's actually my best that I can do.

Also, http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=1-rHdSWZLpQ&feature=related

No one can draw with a mouse. :P
Take up drawing and you shall develop skills (and tits) over time.

Watching now.

>Implying I don't already have beautiful luscious tits that are growing from your computer

That's the best quality I could find on youtube. There's better somewhere.

http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=YLO7tCdBVrA&feature=g-logo-xit

That was absolutely beautiful.

http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=95-qaE-sjA4&list=FLEkuFPar3d0MrmEU1iQ6Srw&index=22&feature=plpp_vide o

BUT AHAH

Eleni, I think it's time I told you. I don't like glorious unicorns any more.

Not many people talk to me anymore. :c
How have you been lately?

Either I'm about to get a wall of text or someone forgot about me.

What about your significant other? Real life friends? Family? Me?

I saw the Dark Knight Rises. I loved it. How about you? How have you been?

I didn't get that alert. FJ has been screwing up badly for me lately. I'm so sorry. :c

Anyways, I suppose you're right. My real life friends haven't been very attentive to talking to me, though..

It looks pretty good. Glad you enjoyed it. :3
I've been okay. Nothing too bad or good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Feels batman.

Indeed..

I feel empty.

Me too.

Why do you feel empty?

Well, why do you?

Because I have no purpose. I don't have a reason.

You don't need a reason.

I don't need one. But I don't have one. and that makes me feel empty. So why do you feel empty?

You can find a reason, you know. You just need to find something that's good for you down the line. Something you enjoy, something that makes you happeh.

I don't know.. it really hurts, though.

Y'know, you can say that because you're on the other end of the spectrum. It's okay, though.

I know it does.

You're not patient. Or very willing.

I'm honest. I'm realistic. I know you don't really like me right now.

I do like you.
I guess that's the difference between us. I am honest, though.

Yes. You are honest. Realistic, you are not.

GEE THANKS

I must go, my people need me.
BYYEEEEEE

But what if you don't come on for another five days?!

Twenty two hours according to this site. :P

elunkoo plz

Here lie's Orson's hopes and dreams.

I know, right?

'sup.

hey

How are you?

I dunno. Okay, I guess.
How are you?

Is something wrong?
I've been better..

We hardly talk anymore.

What's wrong?

I know. I'm too lazy to get on the computer, honestly..

I just feel like nobody really likes me. May be it true, it shouldn't be making me upset. It usually doesn't.
Halp :c

Maybe you just got a life.

I like you.

I'm very sad. I'm sorry.

I'm sure lots of people like you. They wouldn't talk to you otherwise.

lies*
Grammar, where have you gone?

I want an inexpensive gaming laptop. Halp me find one.

I can't think of an inexpensive laptop... Plus, it depends on your perception of expensive.

fak u Orson.
I thought you'd halp me in my time of need. This is the thanks I get for working overtime.

And then she left.

Did not!

You are tearing me apart, Eleni!

I drew Cee Lo Green.
He's a nigger.

nd thin, eloonku wuz raped by niggaz in her nayburhood. no one cared. Dee ind.

Actually, I'm the one who raped the niggaz.
get ur factz st8

Fuck you, I do what I want.

So how is yo sexy ass?

I LOVE THIS .GIF.

As for me, I'm doing fairly well. You?

I wuv dis one

Meh. What's going on with you?

I'm on Skype with my internet girlfriend in Korea.

Interesting.

[url deleted]

I LOVE DELETED URLS.

tunnelsnakes. com

Me too.

TUNNEL SNAKES RULE
WE'RE THE TUNNEL SNAKES
THAT'S US
AND WE RUULLEEE

Also, which browser do you use?

I USE CHROME BECAUSE I'M SO SPECIAL AND DIFFERENT AND INTRANET EXPLODER IS FOR FAGITS.

FUCK YOU FIREFOX FTW

Why are you so mean to me all the time? It seriously hurts my feelings.

>Be me
>Browsing funnyjunk
>Holy shit all this content is horrible
>About to leave
>"therealrarity replied to your comment #208 on your profile"
>BLARGHBLARGHBLARGH

Made some friends, but hating everyone around you makes that a difficulty. I now realize you're the perfect middle ground, a person who doesn't fucking try to tear my throat out every chance, and a person who isn't a clingy weirdo who wants to decapitate my head and use it as a sex toy. Oh, and steam! How was your summer?

I replied to the wrong thing oh lawdy
REFER TO THE COMMENT ABOVE PLEASE

I'm glad to hear that you made some friends then. I knew you'd find some. You'll get over your hatred eventually.

The Steam sales are kick ass. I wish I had a computer that could run them. :c

They aren't all they're made out to be.

This just in: Valve saves world economy! Teen parents throw their babies off of bridges in joy!

They're still nice to have.

That was the funniest thing I've read all day.

Friendships require too much maintenance.

:3

Let the other person maintain it for you then.

But then they complain more than I do.

Cooperatively maintain the relationship? I dunno lol.

I'ma go offline now. I'll talk to you soon, stay safe I suppose. Bai, Orsongasm. :3

Noooooooooooooooo!

Fine. Bai, wuv woo.

ORSON!
I CAME BACK!

Eleni, this is the funniest thing ever.

[url deleted]

FUUUUUUUUCK

gifura. orzhk. org/src/1332235315120.swf

GOD DAMN IT MY EARS ARE BLEEDING.
CURSE YOU ORSONGASM.

Muahahahahahaha!

'Sup, bbz?

I'm looking for the pen to my graphics tablet.

You?

I was unaware you had one of those. Good luck finding it.

Nothing. Just finished my morning routine.

But it's 3PM.

I just woke up.

Well ain't that some shit.

Yep.

[url deleted]

Of course, and they are poni flavoured.

When I can't afford it.

Applejack flavoured dick. Nice.

Why are you staying for so long?

NO. RAINBOW DASH COCK. OPEN WIDE, FAGIT.

I intended to kill myself, you know.

FUCK NO. RAINBOW DASH TASTES LIKE OLD LADY TITTIES COMBINED WITH SULFURIC ACID.

Why did you want to do it in a hotel?

THEN LET'S TRY FLUTTERBITCH.

I don't know. It seemed out of people's way. I don't want to be a problem in death, too.

You're not a problem now, though.

I always am and will be a problem.

To who? How?

To you. Because I are not good human.

If you're not a good human, the solution is to be a good human.
Not being a human at all is frankly counterproductive.

How does it not solve the problem?

You're still cheap, you're just dead, too, so you can't do anything about it, and you'll be cheap forever.

This solves MY problem. Not anyone else's. If they want to spend their lives obseesing over a dead person, they're no better than I.

It doesn't physically solve it at all, though.
You're still physically cheap.

No but seriously, in short, go see a psychiatrist.

No.

Well, let me just put it this way:
If you killed yourself right now, absolutely no one would remember you after a little while.
Which is exactly why you shouldn't.
Your life is full of meaning. People still remember Einstein and Audrey Hepburn and Guan Yu and all sorts of artists and politicians and soldiers and people of all different races and eras.
It's exactly by not killing yourself that you're making a life worth remembering.

Alright.

But you're saying I'm creating conflict. There is no conflict in my choice.
Because I don't like my life. Why else?

There is no conflict anywhere, is what I'm saying.
and of course you don't like your life, I mean why don't you like your life?

There's nothing to enjoy in it. I just hate life in general. I don't really think I was ever meant to be alive, and no one really cares if I'm alive or not, so there's no reason not to.

If no one cares that you're alive, do something worth caring for.
There's always solutions, and suicide is the cheap way out.

Of course it's the cheap way out. I'm cheap.

Well that's your problem right there.

And suicide is a solution. Good day, sir.

Suicide is the effect of the problem.

It solves the problem, ergo, it is a solution.

It doesn't solve the problem at all, and that's the problem in itself.

Good thing it's so easy.

It's not.
It's the hardest thing you can do.
Still, if you shoot for it, you're going to be better of no matter where you are.

That's bullshit.

It's common sense.
If you aim for the bulls-eye, you're going to get closer than if you didn't.

That doesn't matter in real life. You either win or you lose. There is no close or second-chance.

You can get second, you can get third, maybe fourth.
You lose, but you don't lose as much.

Or you can see it's a waste of time and opt-out.

Then you're last.
The thing is, you're not competing against anyone.
It's pretty simple. We're all going in the same direction.
You're making conflict out of something that doesn't have conflict.

That has nothing to do with anything. I want to end my life. There is no conflict there.

There is no conflict anywhere.
You're not competing with anyone.
Either way, why?
Why end your life?

You're not a problem to me.
You are a good person.

Boring and depressing. Whatevah.

How was your day?

Well, did anything happen that you want to talk about?
And is anything bothering you that you want to discuss?

Good.

I got an Adventure Time poster. That was pretty cool.
Yeah, a lot is bothering me, and I do want to discuss it, but if you don't that's okay. I don't HAVE to talk about it.

Have you taken any drugs?

I do want to. Please talk to me about anything and everything you want to talk about.

Nothing that wasn't prescribed to me.
Have you?

Elonkuu, I'm so very tired of myself.

None? What about alcohol?

Yeah, a little. I don't really do much unless someone else pays for it, though.

What about you are you tired of?

No.

What drugs?

Everything.

I'm so proud!

Marijuana mostly. Tobacco once.

Go into detail, if you will.
Why are you tired of yourself?

What effect did it have on you?

I don't want to be alive any more. I hate my personality and my looks and my life. What's not to hate?

I was a bit relaxed. It gave me a headache after my problems rushed back. As for tobacco, all it did was make me look cool.

Really, there's nothing to hate about you. I don't know what you look like, but I assume you're underestimating your looks. You underestimate everything about yourself, really.

When did you first take it?

You lie...

Last year, actually.

The only thing about you that you need to work on, obviously, is your depression.
Not many people enjoy hanging around depressed people. It makes them sad as well.

Why'd you first take it?

But you enjoy hanging around me, don't you. Don't you?

Depression.

You probably won't believe me, but I actually do.
Maybe because I've convinced myself I can actually help you.

Did you buy it yourself?

It has nothing to do with my sex appeal?

Yeah.

Maybe just a little.
I've been told your cock is the best on the streets.

When was the last time you took it?

You've been told wrong. My cock is the best in the world.

I'd say 10 weeks ago, but I'm probably wrong. Even yesterday is a little hazy.

Never should have trusted those Asians.

Are you still at the hotel?

So we fuckin or what?

Yes ma'am.

Do you have the XXXXL condoms?

When are you going to go home?

That feels like a lifetime ago. I can't do it. I can't do it at all.

Relax, okay? You can do it. I know you can.
I'll help you. I promise.

I can't. You know I can't. Nothing can change that. I'm sorry, but you know it's true.

You can, though. I really do think so.
May be it true that it won't happen overnight, and it may take a very long time, but I know we can make you happy again. Together. And we'll find you more friends, too. They'll also be there for you.

I promise, I'll do everything in my power to help you. I'm not going to leave you unless you want me to.

I just wish I would kill myself. Then I could stick with the thought that no one cares. Then I could be at peace. I know a lot of people don't like me, and I know it's my fault. I also know a few people(you) like me. I don't really know anything. I just wish I could die.

Relax.. it's okay. I promise everything'll be okay soon.
Don't worry, please. You'll be okay soon. There's nothing to worry about.

I love you. I really do. I'll take care of you, and you'll feel better.
You'll never feel this way again.

You'll take care of me? You're too kind, person who is thousands of miles away.
I love you too, but I don't know if I can live.
I probably will feel this way again, but thank you anyways.

I know that I can't really be there for you, and I'm sorry.
But I'll do everything in my power to help you.

Just stay alive for a little while longer, please.

I'm just joking, Eleni.
You're doing more than some people less than a mile away.

I'm going to hate myself for this, but okay.

Thank you so much. I'm going to do the best I can to help you.

I know. I just hope, for your sake, that it works out.

Thank you. You're doing a huge favour for me, on your part.

Just don't worry, okay? My computer's going to die soon. I love you. Goodnight.

Be sure to get some rest tonight.
I love you too, and goodnight. Sleep well.

BUKAKKE?!

Only always.

Only Rarity can look fashionable wearing a gallon of semen.

Hi.

How are you?

Not a lot has changed since last night, so take from that what you will.

How are you? How was your day?

I understand.. how was your day?

I'm good.

Because you've earned a rest, wouldn't you agree?

No.

Why not?

I love you.

So many people want you to be happy, including me. As long as we're friends that's not possible.

I am happy.

I want you to be happy.

Well... you shouldn't have to worry about stuff like this.

Do you have post-traumatic stress disorder?

I don't know. Maybe. Probably not.

Please, Eleni. I'm begging you, just forget about this. Forget all of this. Just talk to friends or your family, just please forget me.

I don't think you really want to be dead.
That would explain your cowardice.

No, I don't want to be dead, I want to stop living, if that makes any sense.