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onewithpokerface

onewithpokerface Avatar Level 221 Comments: Mind Blower
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:5/21/2011
Last Login:11/03/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 488 total,  591 ,  103
Comment Thumbs: 2476 total,  2859 ,  383
Content Level Progress: 40% (4/10)
Level 46 Content: Sammich eater → Level 47 Content: Sammich eater
Comment Level Progress: 16% (16/100)
Level 221 Comments: Mind Blower → Level 222 Comments: Mind Blower
Subscribers:0
Content Views:36619
Times Content Favorited:21 times
Total Comments Made:663
FJ Points:2593

latest user's comments

#62 - You've inspired me to share my own story. >be me,…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/15/2014 on How Anon became an atheist +13
User avatar #63 - onewithpokerface (09/15/2014) [-]
>cue about five years of me having horrible constipation
>my sphincter has more than once distended to the size of a golf ball
>initiate back and forth of body adapting to shitting cement logs, and the cement logs intensifying in terms of shitting severity
>eventually develop AND IRON ASS
>now there is no shit that i cannot conquer
>i am now not only one with pokerface, i am one with the poop
>cue eating as much cheerios as i want
>have no problem passing these foot long turds with the density of a neutron star
>go to flush
>realize my folly
>my ass is literally stronger than the toilet
>actually BREAK MY TOILET BY SHITTING INTO IT
>i have literally broken this by using it the way it was intended to be used
>we have to hire a plumber to fix it
>costs $250
>get a stern talking to from the mother figure

And that is why I now buy vanilla yogurt in bulk. I have seen the limits of what the human ass can do and that is not the life I want to live. On the plus side, I have an amazing pair of muscular buttocks to show for the war i waged on my colon and my toilet
#70 - arreatface (09/15/2014) [-]
> no shit that I cannot conquer
#117 - I searched for the picture of the canada ball with popcorn ima… 09/15/2014 on Hail Canada! 0
#55 - I'm ******* 20 years old and I still have a VCR p…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/13/2014 on Kids of today will never know -1
#64 - vparrish (09/13/2014) [-]
I remember the pyramids. I went and saw them last year. Also the first pyramid was built around 2650 b.c., so those kids wouldn't have even heard of them.
#63 - anonymous (09/13/2014) [-]
Listen here, sonny:
There's a difference between seeing the pyramids
and experience the pyramids.
#66 - Oh hey, a sloth account. This'll be good. Sloths are… 09/13/2014 on So that's how they do it 0
#94 - Seriously, how often has this verbatim comment appeared on con…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/13/2014 on The Simpsons +1
#118 - penileburglar (09/13/2014) [-]
I miss back when trolls trolled for the sake of trolling and not for thumbs.

All these trolls care about is thumbs. This site deserves a better class of troll...
#98 - stallioncock (09/13/2014) [-]
There shouldn't even be any replies. I'm pretty sure people just do that for free thumbs.
#62 - I was confused to why he was talking to the deaf woman, but th…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/12/2014 on ..... +20
User avatar #83 - Shramin (09/12/2014) [-]
People who learn sign language who are able to speak often voice out what they sign.
#21 - Er, what was the point of each panel being a separate image? N…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/12/2014 on Dwight & Michael +2
User avatar #26 - eatmynuts (09/12/2014) [-]
save it as a favorite?
User avatar #24 - fuzzysixx (09/12/2014) [-]
No idea. Maybe users are just totally retarded since multi-images started, or maybe it bring more revenue? It is extra annoying, because sometimes usually the pictures load out of order.
#103 - it pains me that thin privilege was a joke the internet made u…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/08/2014 on MFW Fat shaming September 0
#105 - kristovsky (09/08/2014) [-]
Well, that's what happens, when you become such a massive fucking joke you can no longer tell what's comedy or not.
#93 - Hello again very specific webm benefactor/site personality vor…  [+] (4 new replies) 09/02/2014 on Dubs +1
#100 - vorarephilia (09/02/2014) [-]
Everything will be relevant someday (or is good for posting on /bronies/. video related), and I like to think my user name scares off SJWs that discover this website.
#154 - thepandaking (09/02/2014) [-]
I think I've had enough of fj for the week after that webm...
User avatar #155 - vorarephilia (09/02/2014) [-]
I just realized the music works well with the Arthur gif at the top.
#156 - thepandaking (09/02/2014) [-]
had another laugh, you're absolutely right.
#350 - stop making sense this is the internet we will call i…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/01/2014 on How do you prononounce .gif... +11
User avatar #401 - unncommon (09/02/2014) [-]
I'll give you $6 to change that.
#70 - Quebec IIRC is actually the only place in Canada that's 18 to … 09/01/2014 on Title 0
#101 - With pretty much anything you can think of its usually the fan… 09/01/2014 on Filthy Frank with PewDiePie 0
#80 - It gets a little more complicated the farther down you go, but… 08/29/2014 on The American Education System 0
#208 - kids get mad at their parents all the time. because kids are s… 08/28/2014 on from the golden era of... 0
#230 - gentlemen, gentlemen, don't squabble over who is better than w… 08/26/2014 on That doesn't look fun +3
#275 - Hence my original statement of "they will laugh in your f… 08/25/2014 on Father Of The Year 0
#220 - a generalization of teenagers is indeed wrong, as I know plent…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/25/2014 on Father Of The Year 0
User avatar #249 - letting (08/25/2014) [-]
Thankfully, most teenagers aren't like that. And the ones who are get a rude awakening sooner or later.
User avatar #275 - onewithpokerface (08/25/2014) [-]
Hence my original statement of "they will laugh in your face", which is implied to be the rude awakening.

yes i'm glad only a small percentage are douchebags.
#210 - i don't care too strongly about embarrassing myself here. this…  [+] (4 new replies) 08/25/2014 on Father Of The Year 0
User avatar #218 - letting (08/25/2014) [-]
It's annoying when they try to abuse it into their favor, especially when they are spoiled and the corrective actions are warranted, yes. But a sweeping generalization of "edgy teenagers" and implying that none of them know how the law works, is just plain wrong.
User avatar #220 - onewithpokerface (08/25/2014) [-]
a generalization of teenagers is indeed wrong, as I know plenty of very intelligent and rational teenagers.

and then there's the group that wears backwards "OBEY" hats, with gold chains, sagging pants, and sunglasses indoors. especially in school when the teacher tells them to be quiet and they won't shut up about the right to free speech, even though i doesn't apply for private institutions.

generalizations are bad yes, but most people who try too hard to be edgy fall into the category i explained.
User avatar #249 - letting (08/25/2014) [-]
Thankfully, most teenagers aren't like that. And the ones who are get a rude awakening sooner or later.
User avatar #275 - onewithpokerface (08/25/2014) [-]
Hence my original statement of "they will laugh in your face", which is implied to be the rude awakening.

yes i'm glad only a small percentage are douchebags.
#184 - >once the games were bought for him they become his propert…  [+] (8 new replies) 08/25/2014 on Father Of The Year -1
#305 - BerryLicious (08/25/2014) [-]
Hate to respond to bait, but it would seem you are the one who is ignorant of the law. Once something is gifted to you, it becomes your property. It leaves the ownership of one person and enters the ownership of another. Regardless of who you are, who you live with, or your relationship to the person, that's the way it is, like it or not.
User avatar #205 - letting (08/25/2014) [-]
"You've been outta school for 3 months now!"

Assuming this is high school or college it doesn't matter, he's over 18, it is illegal. You're probably 20 years old and think you're an adult, that you can talk down to all teenagers, you know how life is blah blah blah. Maybe you were kicked out at 17 and have Daddy issues, I don't know. You certainly are no expert of the law or the consequences that follow.

Basically, just stop, you're embarrassing yourself.
#253 - kinginyellow has deleted their comment.
User avatar #210 - onewithpokerface (08/25/2014) [-]
i don't care too strongly about embarrassing myself here. this is the internet. worst comes to worst i just close out of this tab and play around on some other website.

i'm just really annoyed by teenagers who think they know how the law works and try to use it to benefit their first world issues.
User avatar #218 - letting (08/25/2014) [-]
It's annoying when they try to abuse it into their favor, especially when they are spoiled and the corrective actions are warranted, yes. But a sweeping generalization of "edgy teenagers" and implying that none of them know how the law works, is just plain wrong.
User avatar #220 - onewithpokerface (08/25/2014) [-]
a generalization of teenagers is indeed wrong, as I know plenty of very intelligent and rational teenagers.

and then there's the group that wears backwards "OBEY" hats, with gold chains, sagging pants, and sunglasses indoors. especially in school when the teacher tells them to be quiet and they won't shut up about the right to free speech, even though i doesn't apply for private institutions.

generalizations are bad yes, but most people who try too hard to be edgy fall into the category i explained.
User avatar #249 - letting (08/25/2014) [-]
Thankfully, most teenagers aren't like that. And the ones who are get a rude awakening sooner or later.
User avatar #275 - onewithpokerface (08/25/2014) [-]
Hence my original statement of "they will laugh in your face", which is implied to be the rude awakening.

yes i'm glad only a small percentage are douchebags.
#182 - >with his own money Where'd he get that from, his … 08/25/2014 on Father Of The Year -2
#309 - The internet. 08/25/2014 on Failed revenge 0
#166 - That.... Is actually an interesting idea. But then p… 08/25/2014 on Fucking Excuses 0
#218 - Picture  [+] (2 new replies) 08/25/2014 on Failed revenge +14
#236 - megayoming (08/25/2014) [-]
Sauce.
User avatar #309 - onewithpokerface (08/25/2014) [-]
The internet.
#265 - This is one of the few instances, where someone can say with c… 08/24/2014 on This show is 0
#174 - Well my dog likes the omelettes I make, so... 08/24/2014 on No you ain't 0
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#1 - slothminator (09/23/2014) [-]
Heard you like sloths
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