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nsfwviewerfav

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Date Signed Up:8/25/2011
Last Login:7/05/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#3859
Highest Content Rank:#1080
Highest Comment Rank:#3827
Content Thumbs: 2877 total,  3222 ,  345
Comment Thumbs: 944 total,  1071 ,  127
Content Level Progress: 15% (15/100)
Level 127 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 128 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 40% (4/10)
Level 168 Comments: Soldier Of Funnyjunk → Level 169 Comments: Soldier Of Funnyjunk
Subscribers:2
Content Views:148793
Times Content Favorited:430 times
Total Comments Made:434
FJ Points:3471

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    comp of blergh comp of blergh
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    kek kek
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    on facebook today on facebook today
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    Sick jokes Sick jokes
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    Brace yourself Brace yourself
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    Gmod wrecking ball Gmod wrecking ball
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    slip n' slide slip n' slide

latest user's comments

#23 - B&  [+] (1 new reply) 19 hours ago on Mating 101 +3
User avatar #30 - ferrocordis (17 hours ago) [-]
Admin, plz ban.
#53 - Yeah we usually only close the pool when people poop. But it w…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/21/2015 on Lifeguard Job Comp +5
User avatar #55 - mattnn (06/21/2015) [-]
Yeah, I know what you mean. As long they believe something is being done, they will be happy. Would probably done the same thinking about it. Pissy customers are the worst, snappy and bitchy as fuck blaming your for all kind of shit
#18 - shame! 06/21/2015 on Game of Boobies +2
#35 - Just curious, what kind of training did you receive? I ha…  [+] (2 new replies) 06/21/2015 on Lifeguard Job Comp 0
User avatar #85 - kaiyuni (06/22/2015) [-]
Yeah, Red Cross certifications are pretty universal. What you did is very likely what I did, even though we're states apart.
#70 - John Cena (06/21/2015) [-]
Same here but I had to get emergency oxygen cert and then this bundle cert for epipens and inhalers
#33 - my shift is about 6 hours long sometimes I pull doubles which … 06/21/2015 on Lifeguard Job Comp +6
#20 - 1 more story >be in a basketball pool >water is …  [+] (3 new replies) 06/21/2015 on Lifeguard Job Comp +16
User avatar #50 - mattnn (06/21/2015) [-]
shits annoying, tho I dont think we would have closen the pool. Only when people shit in it we will take such meassures. the chlorine kills whatever pretty easily. Just imagine how many fuckers piss in the pool that you dont know about.
#53 - nsfwviewerfav (06/21/2015) [-]
Yeah we usually only close the pool when people poop. But it was the fact he pissed in the pool infront of every one and i didn't want to promote pissing in the pool as nothing. Chlorine does kill it but if i was a guest in the pool i wouldnt want that if you know what i mean
User avatar #55 - mattnn (06/21/2015) [-]
Yeah, I know what you mean. As long they believe something is being done, they will be happy. Would probably done the same thinking about it. Pissy customers are the worst, snappy and bitchy as fuck blaming your for all kind of shit
#19 - story time >be lifeguard >first day on the …  [+] (5 new replies) 06/21/2015 on Lifeguard Job Comp +20
User avatar #37 - capnfappy (06/21/2015) [-]
Wow, that's basically on par with people making crank calls to the Emergency Services.
#20 - nsfwviewerfav (06/21/2015) [-]
1 more story
>be in a basketball pool
>water is only 3ft 6 inches
>see baby niglet on side of the pool
>couldnt be more than 2 foot tall
>no life jacket no niglet mom around.
>he stands on the edge of the pool
>he'snotdoinnothin
>Get the feeling he's gonna jump in
>goddamnitgonnagetwettoday
>Wait for him to jump in so i can rescue him because nothing happening that day
yeah so what. i was bored fuck off
>kid drops swimmies to his ankles
>uses basket ball pool as toilet
>blow whistle and yell at him
>niglet mom comes outa nowhere and takes him away
>close pool
User avatar #50 - mattnn (06/21/2015) [-]
shits annoying, tho I dont think we would have closen the pool. Only when people shit in it we will take such meassures. the chlorine kills whatever pretty easily. Just imagine how many fuckers piss in the pool that you dont know about.
#53 - nsfwviewerfav (06/21/2015) [-]
Yeah we usually only close the pool when people poop. But it was the fact he pissed in the pool infront of every one and i didn't want to promote pissing in the pool as nothing. Chlorine does kill it but if i was a guest in the pool i wouldnt want that if you know what i mean
User avatar #55 - mattnn (06/21/2015) [-]
Yeah, I know what you mean. As long they believe something is being done, they will be happy. Would probably done the same thinking about it. Pissy customers are the worst, snappy and bitchy as fuck blaming your for all kind of shit
#18 - Current life guard here. I can confirm all this true. Bee…  [+] (9 new replies) 06/21/2015 on Lifeguard Job Comp +40
User avatar #65 - infinitereaper (06/21/2015) [-]
is it true that the deathguard are your sworn nemesis?
User avatar #31 - smokesalot (06/21/2015) [-]
Question: Is it difficult being so vigilant for your shift? It seems you cannot take your eye off the water and you always have too look out for any red flags. Follow up question, how long are your shifts?
#33 - nsfwviewerfav (06/21/2015) [-]
my shift is about 6 hours long sometimes I pull doubles which would be 14 hours plus 2 30 minute breaks. yeah it gets hard sometimes. when it is very busy and the pool is crowed it seems you stay more vigilant and aware of whats going on around you. but if there is like 6 people in the pool your mind tends to wonder. I find myself watching my water but not paying attention to it every once in awhile. Once you have been a life guard for so long even when your not paying attention red flags will always find there way to get your attention.
#19 - nsfwviewerfav (06/21/2015) [-]
story time

>be lifeguard
>first day on the job
>they put me in a low populated spot to get me started
>thisshitisnttobad.jpeg
>2 hours into my shift watching my water like a boss
>Kid comes floating down the river face down
>not moving or showing sign of life at all
>holyshit.pdf
>jump in the water like a badass life guard
>put my rescue tube behind his shoulders and roll him over
>He freaks out
>cock fag faked it to mess with me
>kicked him out of the place
>never seen him again
User avatar #37 - capnfappy (06/21/2015) [-]
Wow, that's basically on par with people making crank calls to the Emergency Services.
#20 - nsfwviewerfav (06/21/2015) [-]
1 more story
>be in a basketball pool
>water is only 3ft 6 inches
>see baby niglet on side of the pool
>couldnt be more than 2 foot tall
>no life jacket no niglet mom around.
>he stands on the edge of the pool
>he'snotdoinnothin
>Get the feeling he's gonna jump in
>goddamnitgonnagetwettoday
>Wait for him to jump in so i can rescue him because nothing happening that day
yeah so what. i was bored fuck off
>kid drops swimmies to his ankles
>uses basket ball pool as toilet
>blow whistle and yell at him
>niglet mom comes outa nowhere and takes him away
>close pool
User avatar #50 - mattnn (06/21/2015) [-]
shits annoying, tho I dont think we would have closen the pool. Only when people shit in it we will take such meassures. the chlorine kills whatever pretty easily. Just imagine how many fuckers piss in the pool that you dont know about.
#53 - nsfwviewerfav (06/21/2015) [-]
Yeah we usually only close the pool when people poop. But it was the fact he pissed in the pool infront of every one and i didn't want to promote pissing in the pool as nothing. Chlorine does kill it but if i was a guest in the pool i wouldnt want that if you know what i mean
User avatar #55 - mattnn (06/21/2015) [-]
Yeah, I know what you mean. As long they believe something is being done, they will be happy. Would probably done the same thinking about it. Pissy customers are the worst, snappy and bitchy as fuck blaming your for all kind of shit
#99 - testing for blue 06/19/2015 on A nobody, I guess 0
#394 - knock knock whos there? europe europe who? nuh… 06/07/2015 on Fallout 4 weekend deal 0

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