yeah but does donating to the patreon gonna take away all the adds and pop ups for me? no, its not.

well i do realize i am in super deep shit tbh. I do realize i'm barely holding together and i know i really should consider getting help. I know that because i've hit rock bottom already. at least on two separate occasions, i'm sure you know the feeling

But if i really take that next step, idk. I've got a system keeping me together right now. Its not perfect, but it works. The last time i went back and got some help, all that i ended up doing was unraveling that system i'd put together to keep myself going. And when i eventually had to go back to my university and couldnt get that same help anymore, things just fell apart again.

I feel like talking a bit about it helps, but i'm so far gone at this point that i've numbed myself to it. So long as i can keep holding things like this, i can get through everything i have to do.

I realized i was fucked a while back i guess, but i dont see any way out of it anymore. Even trying seemed to only work in the short term, since i couldnt ever really touch the core of my problems. I guess i'm starting to rant a bit, but since its making me feel a little better, i guess its ok. Thanks for reading, its nice to see someone else get out of the psychological trap we make for ourselves.

Keep on chuggin' lil nigga. If you need to talk, papa Solaire's got your back. Remember, keep a positive outlook. If you do that, positive things will happen.