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nighkey    

Rank #6383 on Comments
nighkey Avatar Level 200 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Gender: female
Age: 21
Date Signed Up:12/02/2010
Last Login:4/17/2014
Location:Iowa
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#9321
Comment Ranking:#6383
Highest Content Rank:#1131
Highest Comment Rank:#3814
Content Thumbs: 3052 total,  3326 ,  274
Comment Thumbs: 1074 total,  1388 ,  314
Content Level Progress: 22% (22/100)
Level 128 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 129 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 40% (4/10)
Level 200 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 201 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:1
Content Views:128717
Times Content Favorited:325 times
Total Comments Made:934
FJ Points:1836

latest user's comments

#241 - My sociology professor revealed that by pure numbers and stati… 03/10/2014 on Girl Gamers 0
#105 - They input '0' trying to make him peaceful. Since this value w… 03/10/2014 on Civ V 0
#145 - *Unpopular opinion time!* I don't think there is anyt…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/10/2014 on No fat chicks +2
User avatar #146 - demonictoasters (03/10/2014) [-]
I actually totally agree, I have been told I am shallow for saying people need to not romanticize being obese. It's not healthy or attractive.
#74 - Double your involvement in half the time! Stream yourself lift… 03/10/2014 on Party Admin Sad 0
#70 - I'm disappointed. I always thought your username was 'angrybat… 03/10/2014 on Bagel Smoothie +1
#185 - Like any disorder, it can be misdiagnosed. But if you take act… 03/10/2014 on (untitled) 0
#168 - I was disappointed to see no dinosaurs ******* . 03/09/2014 on DINOSAUR FUCKING COMP 0
#1081 - Hows it feel to know that no one has ever mentioned you in a comment.  [+] (1 new reply) 03/08/2014 on Want a personal... 0
User avatar #1248 - timmmmmmmmmmmay (03/08/2014) [-]
Pretty good, I dont have to deal with getting my name spammed.
#298 - Oh my, I've been invited to your wall. -Grins- Ah simple pleasures..  [+] (1 new reply) 03/08/2014 on Health at every size +1
User avatar #299 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
-grins- Why of course
#293 - I agree. You make my heart warm and I smile to hear anything y…  [+] (3 new replies) 03/08/2014 on Health at every size +1
User avatar #296 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
Say, type, who give a damn lol

i took army Jrotc and that helped my self esteem with people... a lot of good values taught, that class is what put me on track for my career goals... i would hit the track everyday, but as a full time employee for KFC, Taco Bell... it's hard to know when you can.

And o rlly now? Tell me a little about yourself, on my wall if you'd like?
User avatar #298 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
Oh my, I've been invited to your wall. -Grins- Ah simple pleasures..
User avatar #299 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
-grins- Why of course
#216 - Anyone want my "FJ Points"? I'm not sure what to do …  [+] (2 new replies) 03/08/2014 on looong fun fact comp +1
#363 - anonymous (03/09/2014) [-]
gib
User avatar #230 - falcontreeko (03/08/2014) [-]
I don't know what they are but they'll make me feel special so can I have pls
#283 - xD I'm also aiming to join the military, preferably after my n…  [+] (6 new replies) 03/08/2014 on Health at every size +1
User avatar #291 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
I'm not one of those fagboy's that be like "friendzone4ever" I can talk to girls, but It's been harder for me because of weight, but It's gotten just a little bit easier as time goes by. This girl that use to pick on me now actually tells me she didn't think i had someone handsome fucker hiding behind the fat, I smiled like a goof lol
User avatar #290 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
Medics are the most badass imo... I couldn't do it... go in barely armed then possibly have to tend to the wounded, and carry them back maybe... that's hardcore.

A while back i did play football, I was slow... but i could hit and take a hit.. I was Varsity my sophmore year as a right tackle... but I got a job and I never thought that I'd get accepted to university for Football lol... So That wasn't a goal, i was just a beast when on the field... they'd have me play offense and sometimes defense, and I was like a wet noodle, i'd slip buy the offense and get a few sacks on the quarter back. Now that i've lost some of the weight i found out what my times where on the mile run and what not for military, the only thing i need to work with is my pushups but my mile run is 10 mins, what use to be 18 mins to complete... my situps a minute are 56 in which use to be 20, my pushups in a minute are 30 on what use to be like 10

I'm not that ugly either lol, My teeth may be throwing up gang signs, but I got a personality (from what I've been told) that makes a girl melt, and feel good.
User avatar #293 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
I agree. You make my heart warm and I smile to hear anything you say. (Or type, depending how one views it..)

My pushups are gold, situps have always been great, the mile I'm working on. It was 15 minutes 13 months ago, but I've worked pretty hard since then and hit the track nearly every day.

Aw. Funnyjunk just got to watch a crush bloom. ^_^
User avatar #296 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
Say, type, who give a damn lol

i took army Jrotc and that helped my self esteem with people... a lot of good values taught, that class is what put me on track for my career goals... i would hit the track everyday, but as a full time employee for KFC, Taco Bell... it's hard to know when you can.

And o rlly now? Tell me a little about yourself, on my wall if you'd like?
User avatar #298 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
Oh my, I've been invited to your wall. -Grins- Ah simple pleasures..
User avatar #299 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
-grins- Why of course
#279 - Damn, you look like the kind of man that should be an administ…  [+] (8 new replies) 03/08/2014 on Health at every size +1
User avatar #281 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
I replied to myself... :|
User avatar #283 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
xD I'm also aiming to join the military, preferably after my nursing is out of the way. "MEDIC!"

>

Man I wouldn't want to be on the other end of your weapon. If you kept down the path you're going, with your body type, you're going to be one hell of a dude. -Grins- Add me?
User avatar #291 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
I'm not one of those fagboy's that be like "friendzone4ever" I can talk to girls, but It's been harder for me because of weight, but It's gotten just a little bit easier as time goes by. This girl that use to pick on me now actually tells me she didn't think i had someone handsome fucker hiding behind the fat, I smiled like a goof lol
User avatar #290 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
Medics are the most badass imo... I couldn't do it... go in barely armed then possibly have to tend to the wounded, and carry them back maybe... that's hardcore.

A while back i did play football, I was slow... but i could hit and take a hit.. I was Varsity my sophmore year as a right tackle... but I got a job and I never thought that I'd get accepted to university for Football lol... So That wasn't a goal, i was just a beast when on the field... they'd have me play offense and sometimes defense, and I was like a wet noodle, i'd slip buy the offense and get a few sacks on the quarter back. Now that i've lost some of the weight i found out what my times where on the mile run and what not for military, the only thing i need to work with is my pushups but my mile run is 10 mins, what use to be 18 mins to complete... my situps a minute are 56 in which use to be 20, my pushups in a minute are 30 on what use to be like 10

I'm not that ugly either lol, My teeth may be throwing up gang signs, but I got a personality (from what I've been told) that makes a girl melt, and feel good.
User avatar #293 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
I agree. You make my heart warm and I smile to hear anything you say. (Or type, depending how one views it..)

My pushups are gold, situps have always been great, the mile I'm working on. It was 15 minutes 13 months ago, but I've worked pretty hard since then and hit the track nearly every day.

Aw. Funnyjunk just got to watch a crush bloom. ^_^
User avatar #296 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
Say, type, who give a damn lol

i took army Jrotc and that helped my self esteem with people... a lot of good values taught, that class is what put me on track for my career goals... i would hit the track everyday, but as a full time employee for KFC, Taco Bell... it's hard to know when you can.

And o rlly now? Tell me a little about yourself, on my wall if you'd like?
User avatar #298 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
Oh my, I've been invited to your wall. -Grins- Ah simple pleasures..
User avatar #299 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
-grins- Why of course
#267 - Side note: I'm a woman and I'm not sure if this is true of rem…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/07/2014 on Health at every size 0
User avatar #269 - oaaaa (03/07/2014) [-]
do whatever makes you happy. and so do i
#262 - Live with the peace of mind that if you keep sticking to your …  [+] (11 new replies) 03/07/2014 on Health at every size +2
#276 - deafmagnets (03/07/2014) [-]
A girl i've started to talk to that works with me and everything she's been there since november, and i've been there at KFC/Taco Bell(go figure) since may of last year... she's been telling me recently that she can tell i've made good progress...Don't consider myself ugly... but the truth is fat is unattractive, It may not be as much on me as i'm 6'5" as if someone 5'7" weighed as much as me... but it's noticable enough that made me look unhealthy and feel unhealthy.. i'm actually getting happy with what I look like now (besides my crooked ass smile) but when i'm around 210, i'll be even happier
#280 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
Does this look like the face of administration to you???
Actually I did think about going to college for business management... but a passion of mine has been military police, or just basic police... not the crooked beat niggers type, but the crooked throw a bag of pot out the window and give you a warning type.. you know the ones you see playing with kids, just being a good dude.
User avatar #279 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
Damn, you look like the kind of man that should be an administrator somewhere. That you should manage something. And the progress is VERY noticeable holy crap.
User avatar #281 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
I replied to myself... :|
User avatar #283 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
xD I'm also aiming to join the military, preferably after my nursing is out of the way. "MEDIC!"

>

Man I wouldn't want to be on the other end of your weapon. If you kept down the path you're going, with your body type, you're going to be one hell of a dude. -Grins- Add me?
User avatar #291 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
I'm not one of those fagboy's that be like "friendzone4ever" I can talk to girls, but It's been harder for me because of weight, but It's gotten just a little bit easier as time goes by. This girl that use to pick on me now actually tells me she didn't think i had someone handsome fucker hiding behind the fat, I smiled like a goof lol
User avatar #290 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
Medics are the most badass imo... I couldn't do it... go in barely armed then possibly have to tend to the wounded, and carry them back maybe... that's hardcore.

A while back i did play football, I was slow... but i could hit and take a hit.. I was Varsity my sophmore year as a right tackle... but I got a job and I never thought that I'd get accepted to university for Football lol... So That wasn't a goal, i was just a beast when on the field... they'd have me play offense and sometimes defense, and I was like a wet noodle, i'd slip buy the offense and get a few sacks on the quarter back. Now that i've lost some of the weight i found out what my times where on the mile run and what not for military, the only thing i need to work with is my pushups but my mile run is 10 mins, what use to be 18 mins to complete... my situps a minute are 56 in which use to be 20, my pushups in a minute are 30 on what use to be like 10

I'm not that ugly either lol, My teeth may be throwing up gang signs, but I got a personality (from what I've been told) that makes a girl melt, and feel good.
User avatar #293 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
I agree. You make my heart warm and I smile to hear anything you say. (Or type, depending how one views it..)

My pushups are gold, situps have always been great, the mile I'm working on. It was 15 minutes 13 months ago, but I've worked pretty hard since then and hit the track nearly every day.

Aw. Funnyjunk just got to watch a crush bloom. ^_^
User avatar #296 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
Say, type, who give a damn lol

i took army Jrotc and that helped my self esteem with people... a lot of good values taught, that class is what put me on track for my career goals... i would hit the track everyday, but as a full time employee for KFC, Taco Bell... it's hard to know when you can.

And o rlly now? Tell me a little about yourself, on my wall if you'd like?
User avatar #298 - nighkey (03/08/2014) [-]
Oh my, I've been invited to your wall. -Grins- Ah simple pleasures..
User avatar #299 - deafmagnets (03/08/2014) [-]
-grins- Why of course
#261 - Tip to everyone who saw this post and is about to get disappoi… 03/07/2014 on Health at every size 0
#344 - So I ended up falling in love with another women. I don't tell… 03/07/2014 on YOU'RE WITH US OR AGAINST US 0
#76 - I ordered a whole bunch of button quail hatching eggs on ebay,… 03/07/2014 on Omg these are so dumb ill... +9
#74 - I catch myself unconsciously doing this when I like someone. I… 03/06/2014 on Gotham is Secure, like my... 0
#58 - I like the normal non-darkened version better. 03/03/2014 on sand art 0
#57 - I wasn't logged in. This said, "And this one can only end… 03/02/2014 on I would buy this +22
#375 - YES. 03/02/2014 on Admin Delivers +10
#148 - This is what I love about college. They let you drink beverage… 03/02/2014 on Yeah 0
#121 - You also assume we would have human attachment. In the origina… 03/01/2014 on Don't start a religious... 0
#66 - *Psychology student.* Retrograde Amnesia, Alzheimers, decays m… 03/01/2014 on Alzheimer's 0
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Anonymous commenting is allowed
#72 - deafmagnets (04/10/2014) [-]
This one
#71 - xxkillionarexx (02/27/2014) [-]
Abababababababababbab
User avatar #60 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
I got a new pet today

Found it actually
User avatar #61 to #60 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
Is it a snake. >_>
User avatar #62 to #61 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
no, I already have two
User avatar #63 to #62 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
Oh jeez. What did you get??
User avatar #65 to #64 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
Awwww. =D Praying mantis! Breed it an you will have 300-400 more of them. chameleons love them. So..What are you feeding it? Crickets?
#66 to #65 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
Crickets, moths, beetles, earwigs, house spiders, etc
User avatar #67 to #66 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
oh **** wrong pic
User avatar #68 to #67 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
NOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOW YOU'VE SEEN ME WHEN I WAS SIX


MY IDENTITY IS NO LONGER A SECRET
User avatar #69 to #68 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
BAHAHAHA ******* SAVED.
User avatar #70 to #69 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
User avatar #58 - admin (01/09/2014) [-]
ill try and do that

thanks
User avatar #59 to #58 - nighkey (01/09/2014) [-]
Try to have a good day.
User avatar #18 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
**xxkillionarexx sneaks into your profile through the unlocked back door**
User avatar #22 to #18 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
And where am I supposed to find a human heart? -Narrows her eyes ************ .- ..Also don't get any mud on the carpet.. XD
User avatar #23 to #22 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I know where we could get a heart...

And geez, sooorryyyy


Its raining outside, don't get mad at me!
User avatar #24 to #23 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
I swear if this has anything to do with xMWxBEASTx I'm going to..

-Blood all over floor, mud would not even be seen..-
User avatar #26 to #24 - xMWxBEASTx (01/08/2014) [-]
Oh god, what is going on
User avatar #29 to #26 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Who let you in?! I freaking need a better lock! ..Wait I don't have a lock..

And nothing.
>>
<
<
IT WAS HIS IDEA. -Points at xxkillionarexx -
User avatar #32 to #29 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
*throws my hands up* Way to throw me under the bus
User avatar #35 to #32 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
If this were a zombie apocalypse, I'd run slower than you. It's fair, okay?
User avatar #45 to #35 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
But I want to survive too!
User avatar #47 to #45 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
If I'm running slower you'll survive until you're the slowest member. Also I have an irrational fear of zombies. And ovens. ..Someone else has to take things in and out of ovens for me... T_T
User avatar #48 to #47 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I wouldn't let you die <3


Well... depends...
User avatar #51 to #48 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
....

......................

At first I was like, "DA'AAWW! That's the biggest compliment I've ever gotten this month." Then I was like.. "Well... IT DEPENDS." XD

If we were in a zombie apocolypse, I would have your back. As long as you don't mind obnoxious 70s Beatles songs continuously sung to cope with the phobia. And 'I'm walking on Sunshine.' Till we ran out of ammo. Then you got bit.. ...Then I'd jot down your final thoughts and wishes and kill you with a rock. For your sake. Right?
User avatar #54 to #51 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I love the Beatles. And oldies. Its the best.

I'd be singing along with you


IF I get bit
User avatar #55 to #54 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
..You are officially the peak member of my "If you had to pick 4 people to survive an apocalypse with" team.
User avatar #56 to #55 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
SCORE!!
User avatar #31 to #29 - xMWxBEASTx (01/08/2014) [-]
The door was unlocked? I came in through the window
User avatar #34 to #31 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
You classy bastard. =/
User avatar #36 to #34 - xMWxBEASTx (01/08/2014) [-]
Do you know how hard that was?!
User avatar #43 to #36 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
Dude, the window was open
User avatar #25 to #24 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I wasn't going to say that... but that is another option....
User avatar #27 to #25 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Yeeeesss.. >_>
User avatar #28 to #27 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
What I was going to say was Ebay of course!
User avatar #30 to #28 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
But they don't let me back there. D=
User avatar #33 to #30 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
Use mine..
User avatar #37 to #33 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
..This one says 'used.' ..Do you think that would be okay? I think it would be hard to find a 'new' one.
User avatar #38 to #37 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
Just rinse it off
User avatar #20 to #18 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
oO -Blinks, wearing apron, completely drenched in questionable substances with a sharp blade.- Iiiii am elbow deep in goat blood. ...Yeah..uh.. ...

BAAAA!

You shut up! Damn it they make me buy these in pairs for the membership discount!
User avatar #5 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
Bro, tittentei totally wants your D.

User avatar #8 to #5 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
But..I'm a woman when I checked the last time. o_o; BRING IT SUCKA.
User avatar #9 to #8 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
I think we got off on the wrong foot.

Hi, I'm Ali. It's nice to make your acquaintance.
User avatar #10 to #9 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Hi. I'm nighkey. I like weird senses of humor and awkward hand shakes. *Heavy breathing*

-I'm kidding, entirely. You're freaking amazing. Flipped a coin on it.

User avatar #11 to #10 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
Thank you based coin
User avatar #12 to #11 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
^_^ Is that a male Ali or a female Ali? Can't tell after 1990.
User avatar #13 to #12 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
Nothing was the same after the 80's

Rap, Hoes, Weed....All changed.

Is Male Ali. Short for Alister which is the name I go by.
User avatar #14 to #13 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Aww that's so sweet! I've always had a fondness for that name but never met a real person with it. ..Tons of elves on WoW, though...

Congratulations, you're a majestic elf in my head, now.
#15 to #14 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
Wouldn't expect to be anything less.
Wouldn't expect to be anything less.
User avatar #16 to #15 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
I'm Erika, nice to meet you properly.
User avatar #17 to #16 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
Indeed so.

So, what do you do for fun?
#39 to #17 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Welll.. Yesterday I made a Satanic Christmas cake, that book is an early 1950s sexual instruction manual for married couples with very out of date information I found in the floor boards of my basement (ceiling), the med kit in the back is because I pulled the nail off my big toe in a stunning act of ungracefulness and made the most amazing cringe gore image for 4Chan, so.. ...I guess I just stumble across frost page material on a regular basis and just don't do anything with it? XD

What do you do for fun?
User avatar #40 to #39 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
I like to sit around and laugh at racist jokes
User avatar #41 to #40 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Got any good ones?
User avatar #42 to #41 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
Well, like most really good jokes they require context and build up. I wouldn't want to shame the good name of comedy by pitching cheap ones.

I also enjoy playing video games. Which I am sure is where most of my racist tendencies and slurs originate from

User avatar #44 to #42 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
My neighbors are a different color than me. And they play really really loud bass music, yell at each other, and use our trash can on trash day. I think that is where mine came from.
User avatar #46 to #44 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
Your neighbors wouldn't happen to be...Negros, would they?
User avatar #49 to #46 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Well now that you mention it... A'yep. I'd prefer not to be racist simply because one group of people is chimping out 24/7, but it becomes difficult not to call them ******* things some days.
User avatar #50 to #49 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
Well you know how hard those negro's party.

I've listened to 90's rap music, I know how these things go.
User avatar #57 to #50 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
That's the way it was, they were different songs, just different rap songs that sounded the same. Then, nope. They just stared playing the same one on loop for 2 and a half hours for some reason. =/ Bleeeh. Ironically it wasn't rap. So it seemed like, "Hey gais! Gaaiis! Check this out, listen to this! It sounds different!" Because it is music instead of.. Well.. People shouting profanities at a microphone.

Eminem isn't too bad.. At least he isn't rough or callous, and weaves stories. ..Most of them horrifically gang/rape related with drugs and alcohol, but some aren't..
User avatar #52 to #50 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
But they play the SAME SONG over and over. x_x
User avatar #53 to #52 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
It may seem like the same song but if you listening closely, they are actually saying different things
User avatar #6 to #5 - tittentei (01/08/2014) [-]
shut up and it's a girl
User avatar #7 to #6 - kingalister (01/08/2014) [-]
Bro
#3 - anonymous (11/04/2013) [-]
hey i know this is strange but do u own snakes?

and is it true that the cobra growl?
User avatar #4 to #3 - nighkey (11/04/2013) [-]
I own a number of red tail boas and ball pythons. Both of those are non venomous constrictors, quite docile.

All snakes can hiss, but like the difference between a jaguar and cheetah's roar, the cobra has a much lower frequency of hiss that can be compared to the sound of a growl. Try looking it up on youtube.
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