Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

nighkey

Rank #52807 on Subscribers
nighkey Avatar Level 201 Comments: Comedic Genius
Offline
Send mail to nighkey Block nighkey Invite nighkey to be your friend flag avatar
Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Gender: female
Age: 21
Date Signed Up:12/02/2010
Last Login:9/29/2014
Location:Iowa
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 3059 total,  3337 ,  278
Comment Thumbs: 1083 total,  1398 ,  315
Content Level Progress: 24% (24/100)
Level 128 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 129 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 10% (1/10)
Level 201 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 202 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:1
Content Views:130674
Times Content Favorited:321 times
Total Comments Made:949
FJ Points:1845
Favorite Tags: Pokemon (2)

latest user's comments

#137 - Can someone show me the original? I've never seen it and don't…  [+] (2 new replies) 03/15/2014 on HAPPY EDIT 0
#138 - anonymous (03/15/2014) [-]
Just couldn't scroll down huh?
User avatar #140 - nighkey (03/15/2014) [-]
Did, didn't find it, found it eventually by searching the author's name and digging through piles of pages.
#146 - Orphan tears, actually. 03/15/2014 on Niggers on a plane 0
#100 - If no one minds me asking, who is this comedian? Enlighten me,…  [+] (2 new replies) 03/14/2014 on Apple Juice +1
User avatar #143 - givememoarpony (03/14/2014) [-]
boondocks is a pretty funny show, and if you dont mind me, its four year long hiatus is over and it starts april 21 in beautiful studio mir quality
User avatar #107 - hellomynameisbill (03/14/2014) [-]
idunno, but another good black comedian is reginald d hunter. he residdes in britain, so he's not a nigger.
#253 - I like this version better. It's like a snack wrap with mac sa… 03/14/2014 on Webcomic tryout ( read... 0
#226 - Use proper grammar. Also, before reading the descrip…  [+] (2 new replies) 03/14/2014 on Webcomic tryout ( read... +1
User avatar #230 - niggernazi (03/14/2014) [-]
nah im pretty sure that big guy is a pimp and he is simply implying that she is too young to sell herself for sexual services to strangers but she is a total slut
User avatar #253 - nighkey (03/14/2014) [-]
I like this version better. It's like a snack wrap with mac sauce. Stick it to the man bro.
#68 - But in America, instead of using toast, we slather bread with …  [+] (4 new replies) 03/13/2014 on Our best and brightest +4
#104 - mrnoodlez (03/13/2014) [-]
And it tastes awesome.
#88 - anonymous (03/13/2014) [-]
>cook something using butter
>OMG U FAT AMERIFAT FATTY Y R U SO BIG BACK UP I DON WANT U 2 EAT UR COMPUTR BY ACIDENT

Fuck off
#76 - xcoreyx (03/13/2014) [-]
Thus turning it into toast....
#73 - thempc (03/13/2014) [-]
yes, it's gloriously fattening
#67 - I really hope so. ..I'm going there. o_o  [+] (3 new replies) 03/13/2014 on Our best and brightest 0
User avatar #107 - Welshhobo (03/14/2014) [-]
It was the University of Glamorgan in Wales - it used to be the UKs heaviest drinking university and most sexually active univeristy. We also had a serial rapist on campus, and a copycat rapist the next year after the guy was caught.

When the guys heard about this they kicked down the bathroom door while i was taking a shower and threw me out the house, naked, at 10pm in February shouting "free rapes outside".
User avatar #110 - redblackstar (03/14/2014) [-]
Oh, disregard my other comment, Glamorgan was actually one of my choices, but I chose Swan instead... Aren't you like a part of the South Wales University or something now?
User avatar #119 - Welshhobo (03/14/2014) [-]
Yeah it got merged
#89 - Mn.. Blush while I pull on your hair and make you arch your ba… 03/13/2014 on Bner pls +1
#117 - It's true. This makes me happy and giggle a bit and wonder if … 03/13/2014 on Brian 0
#409 - As much as we would like to stick it to people we don't like (… 03/13/2014 on Real Talk With Tumblr 0
#354 - Then use mayonnaise. It's all natural and attracts butterflies…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/12/2014 on Tumblr +3
User avatar #356 - kikisu (03/12/2014) [-]
Oh my god I laughed too hard at that.
#350 - That's not so bad. Summer's Eve anyone?  [+] (3 new replies) 03/12/2014 on Tumblr +1
User avatar #351 - kikisu (03/12/2014) [-]
Nah, I don't use more products than absolutely necessary since I've had a history of allergic reactions.
User avatar #354 - nighkey (03/12/2014) [-]
Then use mayonnaise. It's all natural and attracts butterflies to swirl around you like a happy vagina Disney princess.
User avatar #356 - kikisu (03/12/2014) [-]
Oh my god I laughed too hard at that.
#345 - All true. Except.. For some reason most men are under…  [+] (5 new replies) 03/12/2014 on Tumblr +1
User avatar #349 - kikisu (03/12/2014) [-]
I'm a women. I don't mean cleaning it with soap, but when you take a bath water kinda can accumulate in there.
User avatar #350 - nighkey (03/12/2014) [-]
That's not so bad. Summer's Eve anyone?
User avatar #351 - kikisu (03/12/2014) [-]
Nah, I don't use more products than absolutely necessary since I've had a history of allergic reactions.
User avatar #354 - nighkey (03/12/2014) [-]
Then use mayonnaise. It's all natural and attracts butterflies to swirl around you like a happy vagina Disney princess.
User avatar #356 - kikisu (03/12/2014) [-]
Oh my god I laughed too hard at that.
#66 - Because nothing can stop you. 03/12/2014 on "Touches me with love" 0
#64 - I thought it was no fap November?  [+] (2 new replies) 03/12/2014 on "Touches me with love" 0
#65 - classybot (03/12/2014) [-]
GOD
FUCKING
DAMNIT
WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THIS WRONG
#66 - nighkey (03/12/2014) [-]
Because nothing can stop you.
#156 - Why is it every time there is a screen cap or gif that is even…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/12/2014 on funnyjunk in a nutshell -2
User avatar #168 - ebdac (03/12/2014) [-]
You have a problem with people watching anime because they'd seen a gif from it? Why would You even care what do people watch and why?
#168 - I'm a reptile keeper and breeder. If someone says a snake can … 03/10/2014 on Black Mamba 0
#241 - My sociology professor revealed that by pure numbers and stati… 03/10/2014 on Girl Gamers 0
#105 - They input '0' trying to make him peaceful. Since this value w… 03/10/2014 on Civ V 0
#145 - *Unpopular opinion time!* I don't think there is anyt…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/10/2014 on No fat chicks +2
User avatar #146 - demonictoasters (03/10/2014) [-]
I actually totally agree, I have been told I am shallow for saying people need to not romanticize being obese. It's not healthy or attractive.
#74 - Double your involvement in half the time! Stream yourself lift… 03/10/2014 on Party Admin Sad 0
#70 - I'm disappointed. I always thought your username was 'angrybat… 03/10/2014 on Bagel Smoothie +1
#185 - Like any disorder, it can be misdiagnosed. But if you take act… 03/10/2014 on (untitled) 0
#168 - I was disappointed to see no dinosaurs ******* . 03/09/2014 on DINOSAUR FUCKING COMP 0
#1081 - Hows it feel to know that no one has ever mentioned you in a comment.  [+] (1 new reply) 03/08/2014 on Want a personal... 0
User avatar #1248 - timmmmmmmmmmmay (03/08/2014) [-]
Pretty good, I dont have to deal with getting my name spammed.
Show:
Sort by:
Order:

items

Total unique items point value: 300 / Total items point value: 300

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#73 - kingalister ONLINE (11/24/2014) [-]
**kingalister rolls 129** Perfect every time
**kingalister rolls 129** Perfect every time
User avatar #73 - toxickooties (05/08/2014) [-]
How's my casual stalker?
#72 - deafmagnets (04/10/2014) [-]
This one
#71 - xxkillionarexx (02/27/2014) [-]
Abababababababababbab
User avatar #60 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
I got a new pet today

Found it actually
User avatar #61 to #60 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
Is it a snake. >_>
User avatar #62 to #61 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
no, I already have two
User avatar #63 to #62 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
Oh jeez. What did you get??
User avatar #65 to #64 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
Aw You need to login to view this link =D Praying mantis! Breed it an you will have 300-400 more of them. chameleons love them. So..What are you feeding it? Crickets?
#66 to #65 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
Crickets, moths, beetles, earwigs, house spiders, etc
User avatar #67 to #66 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
oh **** wrong pic
User avatar #68 to #67 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
NOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOW YOU'VE SEEN ME WHEN I WAS SIX


MY IDENTITY IS NO LONGER A SECRET
User avatar #69 to #68 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
BAHAHAHA ******* SAVED.
User avatar #70 to #69 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
User avatar #18 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
**xxkillionarexx sneaks into your profile through the unlocked back door**
User avatar #22 to #18 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
And where am I supposed to find a human heart? -Narrows her eyes suspiciously.- ..Also don't get any mud on the carpet.. XD
User avatar #23 to #22 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I know where we could get a heart...

And geez, sooorryyyy


Its raining outside, don't get mad at me!
User avatar #24 to #23 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
I swear if this has anything to do with xMWxBEASTx I'm going to..

-Blood all over floor, mud would not even be seen..-
User avatar #26 to #24 - xMWxBEASTx (01/08/2014) [-]
Oh god, what is going on
User avatar #29 to #26 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Who let you in?! I freaking need a better lock! ..Wait I don't have a lock..

And nothing.
>>
<
<
IT WAS HIS IDEA. -Points at xxkillionarexx -
User avatar #32 to #29 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
*throws my hands up* Way to throw me under the bus
User avatar #35 to #32 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
If this were a zombie apocalypse, I'd run slower than you. It's fair, okay?
User avatar #45 to #35 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
But I want to survive too!
User avatar #47 to #45 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
If I'm running slower you'll survive until you're the slowest member. Also I have an irrational fear of zombies. And ovens. ..Someone else has to take things in and out of ovens for me... T_T
User avatar #48 to #47 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I wouldn't let you die <3


Well... depends...
User avatar #51 to #48 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
....

......................

At first I was like, "DA'AAWW! That's the biggest compliment I've ever gotten this month." Then I was like.. "Well... IT DEPENDS." XD

If we were in a zombie apocolypse, I would have your back. As long as you don't mind obnoxious 70s Beatles songs continuously sung to cope with the phobia. And 'I'm walking on Sunshine.' Till we ran out of ammo. Then you got bit.. ...Then I'd jot down your final thoughts and wishes and kill you with a rock. For your sake. Right?
User avatar #54 to #51 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I love the Beatles. And oldies. Its the best.

I'd be singing along with you


IF I get bit
User avatar #55 to #54 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
..You are officially the peak member of my "If you had to pick 4 people to survive an apocalypse with" team.
User avatar #56 to #55 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
SCORE!!
User avatar #31 to #29 - xMWxBEASTx (01/08/2014) [-]
The door was unlocked? I came in through the window
User avatar #34 to #31 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
You classy bastard. =/
User avatar #36 to #34 - xMWxBEASTx (01/08/2014) [-]
Do you know how hard that was?!
User avatar #43 to #36 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
Dude, the window was open
User avatar #25 to #24 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I wasn't going to say that... but that is another option....
User avatar #27 to #25 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Yeeeesss.. >_>
User avatar #28 to #27 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
What I was going to say was Ebay of course!
User avatar #30 to #28 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
But they don't let me back there. D=
User avatar #33 to #30 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
Use mine..
User avatar #37 to #33 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
..This one says 'used.' ..Do you think that would be okay? I think it would be hard to find a 'new' one.
User avatar #38 to #37 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
Just rinse it off
User avatar #20 to #18 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
oO -Blinks, wearing apron, completely drenched in questionable substances with a sharp blade.- Iiiii am elbow deep in goat blood. ...Yeah..uh.. ...

BAAAA!

You shut up! Damn it they make me buy these in pairs for the membership discount!
User avatar #5 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Bro, tittentei totally wants your D.

User avatar #8 to #5 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
But..I'm a woman when I checked the last time. o_o; BRING IT SUCKA.
User avatar #9 to #8 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
I think we got off on the wrong foot.

Hi, I'm Ali. It's nice to make your acquaintance.
User avatar #10 to #9 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Hi. I'm nighkey. I like weird senses of humor and awkward hand shakes. *Heavy breathing*

-I'm kidding, entirely. You're freaking amazing. Flipped a coin on it.

User avatar #11 to #10 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Thank you based coin
User avatar #12 to #11 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
^_^ Is that a male Ali or a female Ali? Can't tell after 1990.
User avatar #13 to #12 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Nothing was the same after the 80's

Rap, Hoes, Weed....All changed.

Is Male Ali. Short for Alister which is the name I go by.
User avatar #14 to #13 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Aww that's so sweet! I've always had a fondness for that name but never met a real person with it. ..Tons of elves on WoW, though...

Congratulations, you're a majestic elf in my head, now.
#15 to #14 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Wouldn't expect to be anything less.
Wouldn't expect to be anything less.
User avatar #16 to #15 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
I'm Erika, nice to meet you properly.
User avatar #17 to #16 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Indeed so.

So, what do you do for fun?
#39 to #17 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Welll.. Yesterday I made a Satanic Christmas cake, that book is an early 1950s sexual instruction manual for married couples with very out of date information I found in the floor boards of my basement (ceiling), the med kit in the back is because I pulled the nail off my big toe in a stunning act of ungracefulness and made the most amazing cringe gore image for 4Chan, so.. ...I guess I just stumble across frost page material on a regular basis and just don't do anything with it? XD

What do you do for fun?
User avatar #40 to #39 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
I like to sit around and laugh at racist jokes
User avatar #41 to #40 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Got any good ones?
User avatar #42 to #41 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Well, like most really good jokes they require context and build up. I wouldn't want to shame the good name of comedy by pitching cheap ones.

I also enjoy playing video games. Which I am sure is where most of my racist tendencies and slurs originate from

User avatar #44 to #42 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
My neighbors are a different color than me. And they play really really loud bass music, yell at each other, and use our trash can on trash day. I think that is where mine came from.
User avatar #46 to #44 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Your neighbors wouldn't happen to be...Negros, would they?
User avatar #49 to #46 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Well now that you mention it... A'yep. I'd prefer not to be racist simply because one group of people is chimping out 24/7, but it becomes difficult not to call them naughty things some days.
User avatar #50 to #49 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Well you know how hard those negro's party.

I've listened to 90's rap music, I know how these things go.
User avatar #57 to #50 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
That's the way it was, they were different songs, just different rap songs that sounded the same. Then, nope. They just stared playing the same one on loop for 2 and a half hours for some reason. =/ Bleeeh. Ironically it wasn't rap. So it seemed like, "Hey gais! Gaaiis! Check this out, listen to this! It sounds different!" Because it is music instead of.. Well.. People shouting profanities at a microphone.

Eminem isn't too bad.. At least he isn't rough or callous, and weaves stories. ..Most of them horrifically gang/rape related with drugs and alcohol, but some aren't..
User avatar #52 to #50 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
But they play the SAME SONG over and over. x_x
User avatar #53 to #52 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
It may seem like the same song but if you listening closely, they are actually saying different things
User avatar #6 to #5 - tittentei (01/08/2014) [-]
shut up and it's a girl
User avatar #7 to #6 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Bro
#3 - anonymous (11/04/2013) [-]
hey i know this is strange but do u own snakes?

and is it true that the cobra growl?
User avatar #4 to #3 - nighkey (11/04/2013) [-]
I own a number of red tail boas and ball pythons. Both of those are non venomous constrictors, quite docile.

All snakes can hiss, but like the difference between a jaguar and cheetah's roar, the cobra has a much lower frequency of hiss that can be compared to the sound of a growl. Try looking it up on youtube.
 Friends (0)