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nighkey    

Rank #52373 on Subscribers
nighkey Avatar Level 201 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: female
Age: 21
Date Signed Up:12/02/2010
Last Login:9/29/2014
Location:Iowa
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 3059 total,  3337 ,  278
Comment Thumbs: 1083 total,  1398 ,  315
Content Level Progress: 24% (24/100)
Level 128 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 129 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 10% (1/10)
Level 201 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 202 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:1
Content Views:130587
Times Content Favorited:321 times
Total Comments Made:949
FJ Points:1845
Favorite Tags: Pokemon (2)

latest user's comments

#73 - They are very very messy and require daily cleaning without fa…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/27/2014 on freeing a stuck ferret 0
User avatar #74 - nighkey (04/27/2014) [-]
Also most of my many ferrets passed away from tumors. 3 of them, in fact. Around 5 and 7 years of age. The rest more or less from old age.
#155 - That's nice, but boner used to be a term for jokes.  [+] (1 new reply) 04/27/2014 on Random Fact Comp 4 0
#157 - curbed (04/27/2014) [-]
But they were meant for adults. So my point still stands.
#6 - Shut yo face. ****** free. That so… 04/26/2014 on Let's Paint Pokemon 2 0
#3 - Here is the progress of this particular image. Oh my resolution. 04/26/2014 on Let's Paint Pokemon 2 +1
#379 - There is NO WAY she has heard that one. xD 04/23/2014 on Hi, my name is... +1
#99 - Has anyone wondered why ALL of the pictures of the animals are…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/22/2014 on Just some facts 0
User avatar #104 - heartbleed (04/22/2014) [-]
I was just going to mention that! Damn you! But I am pleased with your knowledge.
#98 - OF COURSE the plant is from Australia. =/ Who would have guessed. 04/22/2014 on Just some facts -2
#46 - This is still better than the movie. There was…  [+] (8 new replies) 04/17/2014 on the next avatar +4
#77 - hackhazardly (04/18/2014) [-]
Have the gif.
User avatar #56 - neonnurse (04/17/2014) [-]
What movie?
User avatar #62 - dehnoobshow (04/17/2014) [-]
The last Airbender.
User avatar #63 - neonnurse (04/17/2014) [-]
Holy shit they made a Last Airbender movie holy shit it sounds awesome
READ THE SPOILERS!
User avatar #64 - dehnoobshow (04/17/2014) [-]
According to all Avatar fans, it was utter shit.
User avatar #66 - neonnurse (04/18/2014) [-]
Ya see these little eyes? Click them!
READ THE SPOILERS, GET THE JOKE, AND THEN LEAVE THE INTERNET FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!
#67 - dehnoobshow (04/18/2014) [-]
YES I READ THEM AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT
#100 - maxsexington (04/18/2014) [-]
wtf is wrong with the japanese.
#196 - -Poke- 04/17/2014 on tittentei's profile 0
#80 - Well at least not everyone is named "Derp" anymore. 04/15/2014 on Got goosed 0
#7 - Thank you, sincerely.  [+] (1 new reply) 04/15/2014 on Let's Paint Pokemon! 0
User avatar #8 - rakuuj (04/15/2014) [-]
Say if you need to be cheered up.
#89 - **nighkey rolled image ** This makes me happier than a reta… 04/15/2014 on They say pack of social skills -1
#101 - Tips to depressed funny junkers trying to talk to women. …  [+] (10 new replies) 04/10/2014 on They have always been there. +1
User avatar #143 - playerdous (04/10/2014) [-]
Who wants someone who keeps dropping and losing shit.
#171 - tomtomvdp (04/10/2014) [-]
User avatar #122 - wthree (04/10/2014) [-]
So basically you're advice is: "Be yourself, as long as a you're a super confident, funny, witty casanova. Other wise, you're fucked."
#117 - xcoreyx (04/10/2014) [-]
Except you'll still get shit like when a girl seems really happy to talk to you and you invite her for coffee and everythings going great and you're about to ask her to prom and then she mentions she has a boyfriend and you just die inside.
User avatar #144 - playerdous (04/10/2014) [-]
That bitch was leading you on, she knew what she was doing.
#123 - xxxsonic fanxxx (04/10/2014) [-]
Creating an imaginary situation with more than 4 possible splits will jsut make urself feel bad dude
#124 - xcoreyx (04/10/2014) [-]
Except it actually happened to me today
#102 - Orc (04/10/2014) [-]
I lost my drink when I saw you reading Game of Thrones?
#110 - FAISCISTBUG (04/10/2014) [-]
I game of throned when you started drinking?
User avatar #114 - calawesome (04/10/2014) [-]
Office space reference.

I luv you
#61 - This one is especially creative. 04/06/2014 on Perfect typography 0
#79 - Try roll picture. 04/05/2014 on no +1
#379 - I'm in, where do I sign up for one of these guys? 04/01/2014 on Maybe every 17 seconds 0
#209 - I agree with everything but the last point. It would be too co… 03/30/2014 on How I met a vegan 0
#195 - That was hilarious. xD 03/30/2014 on Releasing OC into the wild... +1
#205 - You'll love this, nyxeos . Worked for a hog confinem… 03/30/2014 on How I met a vegan +1
#128 - It about killed me. The grammar nazi in me converted to Muslim…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/29/2014 on Joke of the day +1
User avatar #129 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
Well, I didn't die from the rape so I am glad you is still live.
#54 - Picture  [+] (12 new replies) 03/29/2014 on Joke of the day +19
#55 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
**User rolled image**

How nighkey will die.
#132 - xxxsonic fanxxx (03/29/2014) [-]
*roll image* how you will die
#133 - xxxsonic fanxxx (03/29/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled image** I am autistic
#136 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
**User rolled image**

Death of all anons
User avatar #56 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
Guess you will be dying from undecipherable language.
User avatar #128 - nighkey (03/29/2014) [-]
It about killed me. The grammar nazi in me converted to Muslim and exploded.
User avatar #129 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
Well, I didn't die from the rape so I am glad you is still live.
User avatar #85 - slushieman (03/29/2014) [-]
When are you getting the PS4 in stock. I don't have a lot of patience. Plus the Asian man has a got an attitude and is being rude.

Cool man, we will be getting some PS4 consoles within the next week, understand?
Sorry about the attitude, he was probably having a bad day.
User avatar #125 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
I can read it...
User avatar #138 - slushieman (03/29/2014) [-]
Well now so can others c:
User avatar #140 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
Thinking ahead.... very good.
User avatar #141 - slushieman (03/29/2014) [-]
Thank you
#53 - **nighkey rolled image ** How User will die.  [+] (13 new replies) 03/29/2014 on Joke of the day +7
#54 - nighkey (03/29/2014) [-]
#55 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
**User rolled image**

How nighkey will die.
#132 - xxxsonic fanxxx (03/29/2014) [-]
*roll image* how you will die
#133 - xxxsonic fanxxx (03/29/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled image** I am autistic
#136 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
**User rolled image**

Death of all anons
User avatar #56 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
Guess you will be dying from undecipherable language.
User avatar #128 - nighkey (03/29/2014) [-]
It about killed me. The grammar nazi in me converted to Muslim and exploded.
User avatar #129 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
Well, I didn't die from the rape so I am glad you is still live.
User avatar #85 - slushieman (03/29/2014) [-]
When are you getting the PS4 in stock. I don't have a lot of patience. Plus the Asian man has a got an attitude and is being rude.

Cool man, we will be getting some PS4 consoles within the next week, understand?
Sorry about the attitude, he was probably having a bad day.
User avatar #125 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
I can read it...
User avatar #138 - slushieman (03/29/2014) [-]
Well now so can others c:
User avatar #140 - User (03/29/2014) [-]
Thinking ahead.... very good.
User avatar #141 - slushieman (03/29/2014) [-]
Thank you
#158 - Knew a virgin who became pregnant. Didn't want penetration wit… 03/29/2014 on old but good 0
#235 - *Lady, 6.8/10* I had intercourse with someone three days ago, … 03/29/2014 on Rape Culture 0
#232 - Well I'm jumping off the band wagon since you keep rubbing it … 03/28/2014 on The Loli Uploader 0
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #73 - toxickooties (05/08/2014) [-]
How's my casual stalker?
#72 - deafmagnets (04/10/2014) [-]
This one
#71 - xxkillionarexx (02/27/2014) [-]
Abababababababababbab
User avatar #60 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
I got a new pet today

Found it actually
User avatar #61 to #60 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
Is it a snake. >_>
User avatar #62 to #61 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
no, I already have two
User avatar #63 to #62 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
Oh jeez. What did you get??
User avatar #65 to #64 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
Aw You need to login to view this link =D Praying mantis! Breed it an you will have 300-400 more of them. chameleons love them. So..What are you feeding it? Crickets?
#66 to #65 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
Crickets, moths, beetles, earwigs, house spiders, etc
User avatar #67 to #66 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
oh **** wrong pic
User avatar #68 to #67 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
NOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOW YOU'VE SEEN ME WHEN I WAS SIX


MY IDENTITY IS NO LONGER A SECRET
User avatar #69 to #68 - nighkey (01/24/2014) [-]
BAHAHAHA ******* SAVED.
User avatar #70 to #69 - xxkillionarexx (01/24/2014) [-]
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
User avatar #18 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
**xxkillionarexx sneaks into your profile through the unlocked back door**
User avatar #22 to #18 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
And where am I supposed to find a human heart? -Narrows her eyes suspiciously.- ..Also don't get any mud on the carpet.. XD
User avatar #23 to #22 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I know where we could get a heart...

And geez, sooorryyyy


Its raining outside, don't get mad at me!
User avatar #24 to #23 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
I swear if this has anything to do with xMWxBEASTx I'm going to..

-Blood all over floor, mud would not even be seen..-
User avatar #26 to #24 - xMWxBEASTx (01/08/2014) [-]
Oh god, what is going on
User avatar #29 to #26 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Who let you in?! I freaking need a better lock! ..Wait I don't have a lock..

And nothing.
>>
<
<
IT WAS HIS IDEA. -Points at xxkillionarexx -
User avatar #32 to #29 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
*throws my hands up* Way to throw me under the bus
User avatar #35 to #32 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
If this were a zombie apocalypse, I'd run slower than you. It's fair, okay?
User avatar #45 to #35 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
But I want to survive too!
User avatar #47 to #45 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
If I'm running slower you'll survive until you're the slowest member. Also I have an irrational fear of zombies. And ovens. ..Someone else has to take things in and out of ovens for me... T_T
User avatar #48 to #47 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I wouldn't let you die <3


Well... depends...
User avatar #51 to #48 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
....

......................

At first I was like, "DA'AAWW! That's the biggest compliment I've ever gotten this month." Then I was like.. "Well... IT DEPENDS." XD

If we were in a zombie apocolypse, I would have your back. As long as you don't mind obnoxious 70s Beatles songs continuously sung to cope with the phobia. And 'I'm walking on Sunshine.' Till we ran out of ammo. Then you got bit.. ...Then I'd jot down your final thoughts and wishes and kill you with a rock. For your sake. Right?
User avatar #54 to #51 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I love the Beatles. And oldies. Its the best.

I'd be singing along with you


IF I get bit
User avatar #55 to #54 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
..You are officially the peak member of my "If you had to pick 4 people to survive an apocalypse with" team.
User avatar #56 to #55 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
SCORE!!
User avatar #31 to #29 - xMWxBEASTx (01/08/2014) [-]
The door was unlocked? I came in through the window
User avatar #34 to #31 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
You classy bastard. =/
User avatar #36 to #34 - xMWxBEASTx (01/08/2014) [-]
Do you know how hard that was?!
User avatar #43 to #36 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
Dude, the window was open
User avatar #25 to #24 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
I wasn't going to say that... but that is another option....
User avatar #27 to #25 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Yeeeesss.. >_>
User avatar #28 to #27 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
What I was going to say was Ebay of course!
User avatar #30 to #28 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
But they don't let me back there. D=
User avatar #33 to #30 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
Use mine..
User avatar #37 to #33 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
..This one says 'used.' ..Do you think that would be okay? I think it would be hard to find a 'new' one.
User avatar #38 to #37 - xxkillionarexx (01/08/2014) [-]
Just rinse it off
User avatar #20 to #18 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
oO -Blinks, wearing apron, completely drenched in questionable substances with a sharp blade.- Iiiii am elbow deep in goat blood. ...Yeah..uh.. ...

BAAAA!

You shut up! Damn it they make me buy these in pairs for the membership discount!
User avatar #5 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Bro, tittentei totally wants your D.

User avatar #8 to #5 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
But..I'm a woman when I checked the last time. o_o; BRING IT SUCKA.
User avatar #9 to #8 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
I think we got off on the wrong foot.

Hi, I'm Ali. It's nice to make your acquaintance.
User avatar #10 to #9 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Hi. I'm nighkey. I like weird senses of humor and awkward hand shakes. *Heavy breathing*

-I'm kidding, entirely. You're freaking amazing. Flipped a coin on it.

User avatar #11 to #10 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Thank you based coin
User avatar #12 to #11 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
^_^ Is that a male Ali or a female Ali? Can't tell after 1990.
User avatar #13 to #12 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Nothing was the same after the 80's

Rap, Hoes, Weed....All changed.

Is Male Ali. Short for Alister which is the name I go by.
User avatar #14 to #13 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Aww that's so sweet! I've always had a fondness for that name but never met a real person with it. ..Tons of elves on WoW, though...

Congratulations, you're a majestic elf in my head, now.
#15 to #14 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Wouldn't expect to be anything less.
Wouldn't expect to be anything less.
User avatar #16 to #15 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
I'm Erika, nice to meet you properly.
User avatar #17 to #16 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Indeed so.

So, what do you do for fun?
#39 to #17 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Welll.. Yesterday I made a Satanic Christmas cake, that book is an early 1950s sexual instruction manual for married couples with very out of date information I found in the floor boards of my basement (ceiling), the med kit in the back is because I pulled the nail off my big toe in a stunning act of ungracefulness and made the most amazing cringe gore image for 4Chan, so.. ...I guess I just stumble across frost page material on a regular basis and just don't do anything with it? XD

What do you do for fun?
User avatar #40 to #39 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
I like to sit around and laugh at racist jokes
User avatar #41 to #40 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Got any good ones?
User avatar #42 to #41 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Well, like most really good jokes they require context and build up. I wouldn't want to shame the good name of comedy by pitching cheap ones.

I also enjoy playing video games. Which I am sure is where most of my racist tendencies and slurs originate from

User avatar #44 to #42 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
My neighbors are a different color than me. And they play really really loud bass music, yell at each other, and use our trash can on trash day. I think that is where mine came from.
User avatar #46 to #44 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Your neighbors wouldn't happen to be...Negros, would they?
User avatar #49 to #46 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
Well now that you mention it... A'yep. I'd prefer not to be racist simply because one group of people is chimping out 24/7, but it becomes difficult not to call them naughty things some days.
User avatar #50 to #49 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Well you know how hard those negro's party.

I've listened to 90's rap music, I know how these things go.
User avatar #57 to #50 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
That's the way it was, they were different songs, just different rap songs that sounded the same. Then, nope. They just stared playing the same one on loop for 2 and a half hours for some reason. =/ Bleeeh. Ironically it wasn't rap. So it seemed like, "Hey gais! Gaaiis! Check this out, listen to this! It sounds different!" Because it is music instead of.. Well.. People shouting profanities at a microphone.

Eminem isn't too bad.. At least he isn't rough or callous, and weaves stories. ..Most of them horrifically gang/rape related with drugs and alcohol, but some aren't..
User avatar #52 to #50 - nighkey (01/08/2014) [-]
But they play the SAME SONG over and over. x_x
User avatar #53 to #52 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
It may seem like the same song but if you listening closely, they are actually saying different things
User avatar #6 to #5 - tittentei (01/08/2014) [-]
shut up and it's a girl
User avatar #7 to #6 - kingalister ONLINE (01/08/2014) [-]
Bro
#3 - xxxsonic fanxxx (11/04/2013) [-]
hey i know this is strange but do u own snakes?

and is it true that the cobra growl?
User avatar #4 to #3 - nighkey (11/04/2013) [-]
I own a number of red tail boas and ball pythons. Both of those are non venomous constrictors, quite docile.

All snakes can hiss, but like the difference between a jaguar and cheetah's roar, the cobra has a much lower frequency of hiss that can be compared to the sound of a growl. Try looking it up on youtube.
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