mrtwilightsparkle

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mrtwilightsparkle Avatar Level 231 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:12/16/2011
Last Login:1/30/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#12406
Comment Ranking:#29284
Highest Content Rank:#3321
Highest Comment Rank:#2400
Content Thumbs: 762 total,  919 ,  157
Comment Thumbs: 3495 total,  4411 ,  916
Content Level Progress: 60% (6/10)
Level 63 Content: FJ Cultist → Level 64 Content: FJ Cultist
Comment Level Progress: 22% (22/100)
Level 231 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz → Level 232 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
Subscribers:1
Content Views:50396
Times Content Favorited:25 times
Total Comments Made:1452
FJ Points:3788

latest user's comments

#63 - Maybe you don't have a job because you're a cunt.  [+] (23 new replies) 08/13/2014 on GGG +5
#78 - kingderps has deleted their comment.
#99 - newforomador (08/13/2014) [-]
Cunt
#126 - kingderps has deleted their comment.
User avatar #127 - newforomador (08/13/2014) [-]
I have no idea what the hell you're trying to say. "This thing you judge me for..." What thing? Do you mean jealousy, wrath, a want for other people to die? Seriously, what are you talking about?
#128 - kingderps has deleted their comment.
User avatar #129 - newforomador (08/14/2014) [-]
Well, I understand that you're a nut case, and should seek help immediately. You say that it lives deep inside everyone, but that's not true. Sure, just about everybody wants somebody dead, but not nearly to the level that you're at. To me, it seems like you are just an extreme pessimist that thinks the human race is worth nothing, which is completely false. I won't lie, there's a lot of humans that deserve the punishment you described. But there's also many people out there that deserve so much more than what they have. Also, don't start getting an inflated ego by thinking shit like what you've probably been thinking. Shit like "I am better than everybody else. Everybody needs to die, they are undeserving." It makes you seem like an edgy faggot. If you really think that everyone needs to die, why don't you start by killing yourself?
#130 - kingderps (08/14/2014) [-]
ATTENTION: This message is from the CIA

We have just accessed this computer at a local library, the suspect was using only a short time ago. He left in a hurry and didn't log out. Our agents are pursuing him now. If anyone on this site knows of the person "Kingderps" please contact the CIA immediately with any information. Phone:1 (703) 482-0623 Ask for agent Rick McCoy.
User avatar #131 - newforomador (08/14/2014) [-]
Uh-uh, you ain't getting out of this that easy you little asshole. You get your ass back here with an actual response.
#132 - kingderps (08/14/2014) [-]
Dear newforomador,

His comments have been deleted for security reasons. Don't worry they have all been logged on or hard-drive. Rest assured we are going to pound this "little asshole" as soon as we can.

Sincerely,
Rick McCoy - CIA
User avatar #133 - newforomador (08/14/2014) [-]
So that nobody in the future is confused as to what this faggot said

Comment #6 was "I wish i could have a job, any job, even minimum wage. i wish my college degree and flawless work history helped art all. Nice to know this guy has such a good deal though. I feel so good for him. I bet he has a hot wife giving him head right now."

#53 "Ok, I guess the problem is me then. You guys have me all figured out. You know exactly how hard I work everyday at finding a job. You know here I live, what the unemployment statistics are, how well have interviewed, exactly what mistakes I make. I'm such a jackass for complaining when I'm facing difficulty."

#57 "I will write him a letter of apology and send him what little money I have left to compensate for his emotional damages."

#78 "Great argument. I'm sure I always carry this attitude around with me when I go to a job interview. You guys are real awesome. Please keep thumbing my comments down until I learn my lesson. If I could get -100, I Ithink I could upgrade from cunt to dickhead."

#125 "That just makes me hate him more!"

#126 "I hope WW3 occurs and 100% of the world's population dies, only slowly. I would be filled with glee to know people are watching their families faces melt off from the radiation. Humans are disgusting animals. Judge me all you want. But, this thing you judge me for lives deep inside each of you as well, you just don't realize it."

#128 "Don't worry about understanding my comment, you didn't understand the other ones either."
#135 - kingderps (08/14/2014) [-]
Here is what was actually posted;

Comment #6 was "I will have to find a job soon. I wish my college degree and flawless work history helped more, but that's just how it is I suppose. Nice to know this guy has such a good deal though. He probably worked real hard for where he is. I look up to guys like this."

#53 "Oh, yes, I understand, a lot of my success just depends on me. Please don't take my first comment as being sarcastic, I meant what I said, this guy earned what he has. But, just so there is no confusion, you should know I work hard everyday at finding a job. You know how the unemployment statistics are though, so it's not always easy. I hope you guys don't think I'm complaining too much."

#57 "Whoa! Relax, I think you misread my comments."

#78 "What's with the name calling? Who did I offend?"

#125 "That just makes me proud of him more! This guy is a real badass."

#126 "I dream of the world getting past all the problems we have and 100% of people living fulfilled lives, but progress happens slowly. I would be filled with glee to know people are watching their families grow and succeed in life. Humans are mostly kind and caring creatures. Judge me all you want but, this positive thing you judge me for lives deep inside each of you as well, you just don't realize it! So lighten up and just be happy!"

#128 "I'm sorry you didn't understand my comment, you didn't seem understand the other ones either. Please go back and re-read them, if it's not too much trouble. Have a wonderful day. "
User avatar #138 - gearshift (08/14/2014) [-]
That's the spirit, if at first you don't deceive; shed all sense of shame, try again
#140 - kingderps (08/14/2014) [-]
Can I use you as a job reference?
User avatar #142 - gearshift (08/14/2014) [-]
That's the spirit, never break character.
#143 - kingderps (08/14/2014) [-]
<-------Whoa! Check dat ass! What we're we talking about?
User avatar #136 - newforomador (08/14/2014) [-]
I'll give you props on coming up with all that, but you're still a faggot.
#137 - kingderps (08/14/2014) [-]
Please do not insult the CIA.
#139 - newforomador (08/14/2014) [-]
#141 - kingderps (08/14/2014) [-]
Notice that not once did any insult come from me towards anyone here. I have been crucified for no reason, a lot like Jesus. But, I forgive you and turn the other cheek.
User avatar #134 - newforomador (08/14/2014) [-]
Oh, and in case he deletes these as well

#130 "ATTENTION: This message is from the CIA

We have just accessed this computer at a local library, the suspect was using only a short time ago. He left in a hurry and didn't log out. Our agents are pursuing him now. If anyone on this site knows of the person "Kingderps" please contact the CIA immediately with any information. Phone:1 (703) 482-0623 Ask for agent Rick McCoy."

132 "Dear newforomador,

His comments have been deleted for security reasons. Don't worry they have all been logged on or hard-drive. Rest assured we are going to pound this "little asshole" as soon as we can.

Sincerely,
Rick McCoy - CIA"
User avatar #94 - gearshift (08/13/2014) [-]
Mate, you can't expect to respond to a post casting a guy in a positive light with a comment bitterly complaining about your own problems and expect people not to get pissed at you.

the employee in question wrote the dialogue to portal and portal 2, and won a best writing award for his work on psychonauts. He is a well established employee that has made valve quite a bit of money and I doubt gaben was about to let a talented employee leave he company.

That being said, I wish you luck finding a job. It's a tough job market out there, just gotta keep looking.
#125 - kingderps has deleted their comment.
User avatar #91 - joeyliquid (08/13/2014) [-]
Eh it's alright, things will get better. Flaming on the internet can help wind a bit of stress away.
#69 - I'm not complaining that it's a repost, but if you didn't make…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Not sure if repost but funny 0
#72 - thetallbeverage (08/13/2014) [-]
That's not really how it works.
#85 - aidansofunny (08/13/2014) [-]
#92 - Liver's actually really good, it just smells awful. So I'll tr…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/13/2014 on Muh genetics 0
User avatar #95 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
Not a problem. If you get really desperate you can dabble with creatine and protein powder, but I've always recommended people try using normal shit first.

One last bit of advice, never drink soda again. That shit will dissolve your bones I mean that literally . This is a problem because if you put on significant weight, your bone structure will grow and strengthen, but if the acid in soda is dissolving it, they will not form to the proper density. leave a nail in a glass of pepsi for a week. See what happens.

best of luck.
#90 - Yeah, I've done some stuff in the past, and I've seen other pe…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/13/2014 on Muh genetics 0
User avatar #94 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
It's really not hard to stay safe when working out. If you EVER feel strain on your knees, back, or neck, you are doing the lift wrong. Stop immediately.

Sorry if I'm being over-patronizing at this point, but I've seen some good guys get fucked up because they didn't think their form was important.
#88 - While I was in Kenya I had goat liver. I'd imagine they don't …  [+] (3 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Muh genetics 0
User avatar #91 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
If you take the pan-fried route, I recommend keeping a crock of bacon grease around. If you make bacon once a week with your eggs in the morning, you should have enough to do the liver.

Also, liver is dirt cheap because lazy people don't know how to cook it. So it's one of those foods you could literally do every night. (steak is a bit pricy unfortunately).
User avatar #92 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
Liver's actually really good, it just smells awful. So I'll try that. Thanks a ton, again.
User avatar #95 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
Not a problem. If you get really desperate you can dabble with creatine and protein powder, but I've always recommended people try using normal shit first.

One last bit of advice, never drink soda again. That shit will dissolve your bones I mean that literally . This is a problem because if you put on significant weight, your bone structure will grow and strengthen, but if the acid in soda is dissolving it, they will not form to the proper density. leave a nail in a glass of pepsi for a week. See what happens.

best of luck.
#85 - You are my hero, thank you  [+] (8 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Muh genetics 0
User avatar #89 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
And no problem at all. Just two words of warning:
when doing high strength low rep workouts, a spotter is even more important.
do not neglect your back muscles, or your core. And I don't mean the 6 pack It won't look as attractive, but otherwise you will just fuck up your back or your spine.
User avatar #90 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, I've done some stuff in the past, and I've seen other peoples' experiences with that sort of thing. Not appealing.
User avatar #94 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
It's really not hard to stay safe when working out. If you EVER feel strain on your knees, back, or neck, you are doing the lift wrong. Stop immediately.

Sorry if I'm being over-patronizing at this point, but I've seen some good guys get fucked up because they didn't think their form was important.
User avatar #86 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
And beef liver. But you have to put some effort into learning how to cook it right, otherwise it tastes like shit.
User avatar #88 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
While I was in Kenya I had goat liver. I'd imagine they don't taste much alike, but it was pan-fried, and fantastic, so maybe that'd be worth a try.
User avatar #91 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
If you take the pan-fried route, I recommend keeping a crock of bacon grease around. If you make bacon once a week with your eggs in the morning, you should have enough to do the liver.

Also, liver is dirt cheap because lazy people don't know how to cook it. So it's one of those foods you could literally do every night. (steak is a bit pricy unfortunately).
User avatar #92 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
Liver's actually really good, it just smells awful. So I'll try that. Thanks a ton, again.
User avatar #95 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
Not a problem. If you get really desperate you can dabble with creatine and protein powder, but I've always recommended people try using normal shit first.

One last bit of advice, never drink soda again. That shit will dissolve your bones I mean that literally . This is a problem because if you put on significant weight, your bone structure will grow and strengthen, but if the acid in soda is dissolving it, they will not form to the proper density. leave a nail in a glass of pepsi for a week. See what happens.

best of luck.
#83 - Ah, okay. Thanks for correcting me. Like I said, I didn't really know.  [+] (10 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Muh genetics +1
User avatar #84 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
Oh, and as for gaining weight the best advice I can give you:
Steak, potatoes, eggs and spinach. Strength > reps.
User avatar #85 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
You are my hero, thank you
User avatar #89 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
And no problem at all. Just two words of warning:
when doing high strength low rep workouts, a spotter is even more important.
do not neglect your back muscles, or your core. And I don't mean the 6 pack It won't look as attractive, but otherwise you will just fuck up your back or your spine.
User avatar #90 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, I've done some stuff in the past, and I've seen other peoples' experiences with that sort of thing. Not appealing.
User avatar #94 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
It's really not hard to stay safe when working out. If you EVER feel strain on your knees, back, or neck, you are doing the lift wrong. Stop immediately.

Sorry if I'm being over-patronizing at this point, but I've seen some good guys get fucked up because they didn't think their form was important.
User avatar #86 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
And beef liver. But you have to put some effort into learning how to cook it right, otherwise it tastes like shit.
User avatar #88 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
While I was in Kenya I had goat liver. I'd imagine they don't taste much alike, but it was pan-fried, and fantastic, so maybe that'd be worth a try.
User avatar #91 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
If you take the pan-fried route, I recommend keeping a crock of bacon grease around. If you make bacon once a week with your eggs in the morning, you should have enough to do the liver.

Also, liver is dirt cheap because lazy people don't know how to cook it. So it's one of those foods you could literally do every night. (steak is a bit pricy unfortunately).
User avatar #92 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
Liver's actually really good, it just smells awful. So I'll try that. Thanks a ton, again.
User avatar #95 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
Not a problem. If you get really desperate you can dabble with creatine and protein powder, but I've always recommended people try using normal shit first.

One last bit of advice, never drink soda again. That shit will dissolve your bones I mean that literally . This is a problem because if you put on significant weight, your bone structure will grow and strengthen, but if the acid in soda is dissolving it, they will not form to the proper density. leave a nail in a glass of pepsi for a week. See what happens.

best of luck.
#27 - Gonna drop this in, despite there being 22 replies. T…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/13/2014 on D-D-D-D-Drop the bombs +5
User avatar #30 - Deeticky (08/13/2014) [-]
It was more or less the US occupying forces that made the decision to demilitarize Japan.

Further reading: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupation_of_Japan
#80 - Glad someone knows this. Calories don't add weight unless you …  [+] (12 new replies) 08/13/2014 on Muh genetics 0
User avatar #82 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
Your side note is horribly inaccurate. It entirely depends on the person. Some people have a hard time gaining weight, some people have a hard time losing it.
User avatar #83 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
Ah, okay. Thanks for correcting me. Like I said, I didn't really know.
User avatar #84 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
Oh, and as for gaining weight the best advice I can give you:
Steak, potatoes, eggs and spinach. Strength > reps.
User avatar #85 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
You are my hero, thank you
User avatar #89 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
And no problem at all. Just two words of warning:
when doing high strength low rep workouts, a spotter is even more important.
do not neglect your back muscles, or your core. And I don't mean the 6 pack It won't look as attractive, but otherwise you will just fuck up your back or your spine.
User avatar #90 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, I've done some stuff in the past, and I've seen other peoples' experiences with that sort of thing. Not appealing.
User avatar #94 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
It's really not hard to stay safe when working out. If you EVER feel strain on your knees, back, or neck, you are doing the lift wrong. Stop immediately.

Sorry if I'm being over-patronizing at this point, but I've seen some good guys get fucked up because they didn't think their form was important.
User avatar #86 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
And beef liver. But you have to put some effort into learning how to cook it right, otherwise it tastes like shit.
User avatar #88 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
While I was in Kenya I had goat liver. I'd imagine they don't taste much alike, but it was pan-fried, and fantastic, so maybe that'd be worth a try.
User avatar #91 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
If you take the pan-fried route, I recommend keeping a crock of bacon grease around. If you make bacon once a week with your eggs in the morning, you should have enough to do the liver.

Also, liver is dirt cheap because lazy people don't know how to cook it. So it's one of those foods you could literally do every night. (steak is a bit pricy unfortunately).
User avatar #92 - mrtwilightsparkle (08/13/2014) [-]
Liver's actually really good, it just smells awful. So I'll try that. Thanks a ton, again.
User avatar #95 - thewhitezombie (08/13/2014) [-]
Not a problem. If you get really desperate you can dabble with creatine and protein powder, but I've always recommended people try using normal shit first.

One last bit of advice, never drink soda again. That shit will dissolve your bones I mean that literally . This is a problem because if you put on significant weight, your bone structure will grow and strengthen, but if the acid in soda is dissolving it, they will not form to the proper density. leave a nail in a glass of pepsi for a week. See what happens.

best of luck.
#310 - Not having running water or electricity. Or food.  [+] (1 new reply) 08/11/2014 on what memory from your... 0
#313 - anonymous (08/11/2014) [-]
#37 - One thumb to anyone who's actually heard of Skyline before thi… 08/11/2014 on ...I dont get what went wrong 0
#33 - And 5'10'' is considered normal height in America. ****… 08/11/2014 on First World Problems 0
#83 - Rome still had a democratic system, it's more along the lines … 08/11/2014 on Fuck you, I'm the emporer +2
#9 - Because of Shrek Two, probably. They found catnip on Puss and … 08/10/2014 on Classic Sheen +7
#51 - This is the first source comment on this site to receive negat… 08/10/2014 on Robots +1
#53 - I don't see what's so bad about it. Only problem I really see …  [+] (1 new reply) 08/09/2014 on Priorites 0
User avatar #55 - fables (08/09/2014) [-]
it's weird enough that people call the people they're fucking, baby.
bae is just taking it one step further. it's obnoxious and kind of creepy.
#32 - She's a sex symbol because she ****** a bunch of … 08/09/2014 on marilyn +2
#12 - They're becoming self aware 08/08/2014 on Sentences 0
#251 - Yes, I'm aware he's actually dead. I was simply making fun of …  [+] (1 new reply) 08/08/2014 on Tupac 0
User avatar #256 - rdnyan (08/08/2014) [-]
Oh
#9 - This is a cute story. I just put my ring in my front … 08/07/2014 on a cinderella moment +6
#8 - My brother used to use the argument that my stuff wasn't in my… 08/07/2014 on a cinderella moment +10
#12 - Vista was the prototype for 7. To my knowledge, Microsoft rele… 08/07/2014 on Never forget +1
#16 - Everyone knows Illinois is secretly Canadian.  [+] (1 new reply) 08/07/2014 on trying to buy energy drinks... 0
#24 - eagerzack (08/07/2014) [-]
i was never asked if i was over 16 thats not a law here
#102 - It's almost as if it's the 21st century, where global travel i… 08/07/2014 on Guess what? -1
#13 - Perhaps it's a perfect description of school, because, it is i… 08/07/2014 on College 0
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User avatar #7 - majormayor (11/29/2014) [-]
I never got a word out of you. Ha.
User avatar #5 - majormayor (06/13/2014) [-]
I wonder what comment #1 was.
User avatar #4 - majormayor (04/27/2014) [-]
It's been a while since the last time I saw you.
User avatar #3 - mayormilkman (01/07/2014) [-]
Are you a pretty princess?
User avatar #2 - mayormilkman (09/02/2013) [-]
butts
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