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mrmysterio

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 21
Date Signed Up:6/28/2011
Last Login:4/26/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 1563 total,  1840 ,  277
Comment Thumbs: 6805 total,  7266 ,  461
Content Level Progress: 55% (55/100)
Level 115 Content: Funny Junkie → Level 116 Content: Funny Junkie
Comment Level Progress: 59% (59/100)
Level 260 Comments: Pure Win → Level 261 Comments: Pure Win
Subscribers:7
Content Views:72048
Times Content Favorited:67 times
Total Comments Made:1181
FJ Points:7734
Favorite Tags: the (6) | a (5) | shit (4) | what (4) | fuck (3) | i (3) | is (3) | aint (2) | Asian (2) | Awesome (2) | batman (2) | Crazy (2) | Damn (2) | God (2) | gonna (2) | lol (2) | some (2) | that (2)
I can get along with anyone (so long as they aren't unreasonable), and am always accepting friend requests!

latest user's comments

#1 - Picture 04/24/2014 on Parent of the year +3
#294 - Wow, I did not expect to wake up to this. 03/26/2014 on Faith in humanity restored. 0
#5 - How is this a confession? 03/25/2014 on (untitled) -2
#5 - I think you got gangster and pirate mixed up. 03/25/2014 on and havent won a oscar 0
#2 - Picture 03/25/2014 on to the windoe, to the wall 0
#6 - Picture 03/25/2014 on Know the difference 0
#3 - Picture 03/25/2014 on im puddled if i know +12
#1 - There is something strangely entertaining in the way some blac…  [+] (7 new replies) 03/25/2014 on Niggas: 1 Overly Attached... +107
User avatar #10 - spanishiqiustion (03/26/2014) [-]
then you will love this www.gizoogle.net/textilizer.php obligatory tho > What tha fuck did you just fuckin say bout me, you lil biiiatch, biatch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of mah class up in tha Navy Seals, n' I’ve been involved up in a shitload of secret raidz on Al-Quaeda, n' I have over 300 confirmed kills. I be trained up in gorilla warfare n' I’m tha top sniper up in tha entire US armed forces. Yo ass is not a god damn thang ta me but just another target. I'ma wipe you tha fuck up wit precision tha likez of which has never been peeped before on dis Earth, mark mah fuckin lyrics. Yo ass be thinkin you can git away wit sayin dat shiznit ta me over tha Internet, biatch? Think again, fucker n' shiznit fo' realz. As we drop a rhyme I be contactin mah secret network of spies across tha USA n' yo' IP is bein traced right now so you mo' betta prepare fo' tha storm, maggot. Da storm dat wipes up tha pathetic lil thang you call yo' game. You’re fuckin dead, kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I can be anywhere, anytime, n' I can bust a cap up in you up in over seven hundred ways, n' that’s just wit mah bare hands. Not only is I extensively trained up in unarmed combat yo, but I have access ta tha entire arsenal of tha United Hoodz Marine Corps n' I'ma use it ta its full extent ta wipe yo' miserable ass off tha grill of tha continent, you lil shit. If only you could have known what tha fuck unholy retribution yo' lil "clever" comment was bout ta brang down upon you, maybe you would have held yo' fuckin tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, n' now you’re payin tha price, you goddamn idiot. I'ma shiznit fury all over you n' yo big-ass booty is ghon drown up in dat shit. You’re fuckin dead, kiddo.
#35 - StickyTissueLoLz (03/26/2014) [-]
What tha fuck did you just fuckin say bout me, you lil biiiatch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of mah class up in tha Navy Seals, n' I’ve been involved up in a shitload of secret raidz on Al-Quaeda, n' I have over 300 confirmed kills. I be trained up in gorilla warfare n' I’m tha top sniper up in tha entire US armed forces. Yo ass is not a god damn thang ta me but just another target. I'ma wipe you tha fuck up wit precision tha likez of which has never been peeped before on dis Earth, mark mah fuckin lyrics. Yo ass be thinkin you can git away wit sayin dat shiznit ta me over tha Internet, biatch? Think again, fucker n' shiznit fo' realz. As we drop a rhyme I be contactin mah secret network of spies across tha USA n' yo' IP is bein traced right now so you mo' betta prepare fo' tha storm, maggot. Da storm dat wipes up tha pathetic lil thang you call yo' game. You’re fuckin dead, kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I can be anywhere, anytime, n' I can bust a cap up in you up in over seven hundred ways, n' that’s just wit mah bare hands. Not only is I extensively trained up in unarmed combat yo, but I have access ta tha entire arsenal of tha United Hoodz Marine Corps n' I'ma use it ta its full extent ta wipe yo' miserable ass off tha grill of tha continent, you lil shit. If only you could have known what tha fuck unholy retribution yo' lil "clever" comment was bout ta brang down upon you, maybe you would have held yo' fuckin tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, n' now you’re payin tha price, you goddamn idiot. I'ma shiznit fury all over you n' yo big-ass booty is ghon drown up in dat shit. You’re fuckin dead, kiddo.
#37 - huntergriff (03/26/2014) [-]
Now dis is tha rap all bout how tha fuck
My fuckin game gots flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like ta take a minute just sit right there
I be bout ta rap how tha fuck I became tha pimp of a hood called Bel-air

In westside Philadelphia born n' raised
On tha playground where I dropped most of mah minutes
Chillin out, maxing, chillaxin all def
And all blastin some b-bizzle outside of tha school
When a cold-ass lil couple muthafuckas, they was up ta no phat
Started makin shiznit up in mah neighbourhood
I gots up in one lil fight n' mah momma gots scared
And holla'd "Yo ass is movin wit yo' auntie n' uncle up in Bel-air"

I whistled fo' a cold-ass lil cab n' when it came near tha
License plate holla'd "fresh" n' had a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dice up in tha mirror
If anythang I could say dat dis cab was rare
But I thought nah, forget it, yo cribs ta Bel-air playa!

I pulled up ta a doggy den bout seven or eight
And I yelled ta tha cabby "Yo, cribs smell you later!"
Looked at mah mackdaddydom I was finally there
To sit on mah throne as tha pimp of Bel-air
User avatar #26 - dudewitharake (03/26/2014) [-]
I'ma sodomize you n' face-fuck you, Cock-sucker Aurelius n' catamite Furius, Yo ass whoz ass think, cuz mah verses is delicate, dat I be modest fo' itz right fo' tha devoted poet ta be chaste his dirty ass yo, but it aint necessarily fo' his verses ta be so. Verses which then have taste n' charm, if they is delicate n' sexy, n' can incite a itch, n' I don't mean up in thugs yo, but up in dem hairy oldschool pimps whol can't git they flaccid dicks up. you, cuz you have read of mah countless kisses, you be thinkin I be a sissy, biatch? I'ma sodomize you n' face-fuck you fucking amazing
User avatar #21 - amata (03/26/2014) [-]
That's fuckin great

This is tha rap all bout how tha fuck mah game gots flipped, turned upside down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I'd like ta take a minute, just sit right there, I be bout ta rap how tha fuck I became tha Pimp of a hood called Bel-Air.
User avatar #2 - noisia (03/25/2014) [-]
True.
I wouldn't have found this funny if it was a white guy saying "I'm going to just leave a brick on the pillow whilst I'm out."
User avatar #3 - funnychemaster (03/25/2014) [-]
Oh god, that was magnificent
#1 - That was wonderful :3  [+] (13 new replies) 03/25/2014 on Faith in humanity restored. +825
#408 - vanfredrik (03/26/2014) [-]
At work, trying to hold back the funny projecting through that picture so I don't break out in laughter and everyone starts looking at me.
#367 - jjvoodoo (03/26/2014) [-]
#333 - ColeTheUber (03/26/2014) [-]
User avatar #294 - mrmysterio (03/26/2014) [-]
Wow, I did not expect to wake up to this.
#192 - otroviciado (03/26/2014) [-]
*woofderful
ba dum tss
#305 - shadowbreech (03/26/2014) [-]
I liked that
Not original, but I chuckled
User avatar #172 - savmg (03/26/2014) [-]
Not if you go from bottom to top god forgive me for I have sinned
#104 - furryflava (03/25/2014) [-]
oh my fuck that picture
#83 - dubstepforme (03/25/2014) [-]
I love boxers, i have 2 and they're absolutely delightful
#323 - Ken M (03/26/2014) [-]
I fucking love boxers too
User avatar #49 - Sethorein (03/25/2014) [-]
White boxers are usually put down at birth due to their high likelihood of presenting birth defects... Your picture makes me sad...
#97 - moonmoonsmom (03/25/2014) [-]
Worked in a vet's office for 3 years, dealt with a boxer breeder regularly and we boarded her mom dogs and their pups often. They had white babies all the time, and no, they did not get put down. Even one white pup that was deaf was the first of her litter of 8 to be adopted out.
#30 - starlarose (03/25/2014) [-]
so is your picture
#1 - Do they also call you OP? 03/25/2014 on Shirt -1
#1 - Do it anyway, lol. 03/25/2014 on Train Etiquette +1
#266 - I'm not making this up. 03/25/2014 on Creativity 0
#265 - Chevy Dongdingalong  [+] (1 new reply) 03/25/2014 on Creativity 0
User avatar #266 - mrmysterio (03/25/2014) [-]
I'm not making this up.
#44 - Top kek, pic kind of related.  [+] (3 new replies) 03/23/2014 on Nice! +2
#52 - Ken M (03/23/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #8 at Lolis **
#49 - thebrownydestroyer (03/23/2014) [-]
#47 - supercookieduster (03/23/2014) [-]
stop
#6886 - Comment deleted 03/22/2014 on Hottest Girls on FJ Submission -4
#288 - Bahaha, it wouldn't make a difference to be honest. Even thoug… 03/22/2014 on løvee 0
#284 - I could have, but I doubt it would prove to do anything good, …  [+] (2 new replies) 03/21/2014 on løvee 0
User avatar #285 - peyko (03/21/2014) [-]
I would repeately take a shit infront of his homedoor several times each week, for some month.
No offense.
User avatar #288 - mrmysterio (03/22/2014) [-]
Bahaha, it wouldn't make a difference to be honest. Even though she moved away she still didn't feel safe. It's not worth going to jail for murder really.
#206 - My ex-girlfriend was raped by her brother when they were young…  [+] (5 new replies) 03/21/2014 on løvee +15
User avatar #268 - peyko (03/21/2014) [-]
Why didnt you speak with her brother?
User avatar #284 - mrmysterio (03/21/2014) [-]
I could have, but I doubt it would prove to do anything good, not while her mother was around at least.
User avatar #285 - peyko (03/21/2014) [-]
I would repeately take a shit infront of his homedoor several times each week, for some month.
No offense.
User avatar #288 - mrmysterio (03/22/2014) [-]
Bahaha, it wouldn't make a difference to be honest. Even though she moved away she still didn't feel safe. It's not worth going to jail for murder really.
User avatar #208 - gabemczombie (03/21/2014) [-]
Rapists are the lowest of the low...
#35 - I've watched the Austin Power's trilogy so many times I've los… 03/21/2014 on Penis pump by Austin Powers +5
#8 - True, but they were confounded by the fact that Old Man Jenkin… 03/20/2014 on Old Man Jenkins +1
#36 - I used to have wiki races in highschool whenever we went to a … 03/20/2014 on The free MLG clan that... 0
#15 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 03/20/2014 on Winds of creation 0
#20 - daredevizz (03/20/2014) [-]
#78 - Picture 03/19/2014 on Antivirus +16
#10 - Are you following my comment trail?  [+] (3 new replies) 03/19/2014 on Winds of creation +2
#13 - daredevizz (03/19/2014) [-]
#15 - mrmysterio (03/20/2014) [-]
#20 - daredevizz (03/20/2014) [-]
#3 - My eyes have betrayed me yet again >.> 03/19/2014 on Old Man Jenkins 0

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