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mephiblis    

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mephiblis Avatar Level 252 Comments: Contaminated Win
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Date Signed Up:4/21/2013
Last Login:8/21/2014
Location:anusland
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latest user's comments

#36 - DEUS VULT 08/20/2014 on AGATHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA +1
#170 - This is fake. 08/20/2014 on Racism 0
#2 - **********************  [+] (1 new reply) 08/20/2014 on sandy moran +157
User avatar #16 - tranquilizer (08/20/2014) [-]
pic related?
#70 - And that's just my knowledge of the boards since i only browse…  [+] (5 new replies) 08/20/2014 on Racism +1
#74 - anonymous (08/20/2014) [-]
as of 30 seconds ago when i was on v/ my posts were still existant in all of their glorious shitposting about the situation/scandal. so for now either the janitors have given up or have gone to bed for the night cuz nothings getting wiped anymore.
SJWs have infiltrated 4chan since way before all of this shit got... well shity. like i said 4chan is a veritable fustercluck of self hate and division. which is kinda the point of having the different boards in the first place. some boards are relativly normal. o/ p/ are the only two i go to and its ratio of shitposting is remarkably low. so its not just one end or the other. 4chan is the truest form of free speech there is which is why sjws exist on there as well. that and well cuz nobody gives a fuck.
#75 - skelebones (08/20/2014) [-]
so no i reiterate. they dont own v/. they merely got v/ to back down and not make the situation worse than it is. because lets face it. without k/ b/ pol/ backing it v/ by itself would get anhilated by the alliance of twitter and the journalism fuckers. again a non compete. not a "bend over v/ and take it like mama wants you to take it"
as for pol/ idfk cuz it seems to swing 50/50 on there(as per the norm) so idk where they stand on this situation
#77 - skelebones (08/20/2014) [-]
then again i could be wrong.
and the death of 4chan is happening right before our very eyes
User avatar #170 - mephiblis (08/20/2014) [-]
This is fake.
#117 - herpage (08/20/2014) [-]
Mods aren't in certain boards, they are Global; only Janitors are Board-Only.
#68 - I hope you're right but the thing is, SJWs have already infilt…  [+] (6 new replies) 08/20/2014 on Racism +3
User avatar #70 - mephiblis (08/20/2014) [-]
And that's just my knowledge of the boards since i only browse /pol/, /k/ and occasionally /v/.
#74 - anonymous (08/20/2014) [-]
as of 30 seconds ago when i was on v/ my posts were still existant in all of their glorious shitposting about the situation/scandal. so for now either the janitors have given up or have gone to bed for the night cuz nothings getting wiped anymore.
SJWs have infiltrated 4chan since way before all of this shit got... well shity. like i said 4chan is a veritable fustercluck of self hate and division. which is kinda the point of having the different boards in the first place. some boards are relativly normal. o/ p/ are the only two i go to and its ratio of shitposting is remarkably low. so its not just one end or the other. 4chan is the truest form of free speech there is which is why sjws exist on there as well. that and well cuz nobody gives a fuck.
#75 - skelebones (08/20/2014) [-]
so no i reiterate. they dont own v/. they merely got v/ to back down and not make the situation worse than it is. because lets face it. without k/ b/ pol/ backing it v/ by itself would get anhilated by the alliance of twitter and the journalism fuckers. again a non compete. not a "bend over v/ and take it like mama wants you to take it"
as for pol/ idfk cuz it seems to swing 50/50 on there(as per the norm) so idk where they stand on this situation
#77 - skelebones (08/20/2014) [-]
then again i could be wrong.
and the death of 4chan is happening right before our very eyes
User avatar #170 - mephiblis (08/20/2014) [-]
This is fake.
#117 - herpage (08/20/2014) [-]
Mods aren't in certain boards, they are Global; only Janitors are Board-Only.
#52 - Confirmed for never going on /pol/. You're so ******* …  [+] (10 new replies) 08/20/2014 on Racism +19
#65 - anonymous (08/20/2014) [-]
Ok lets do the math.
4chan and its divided boards and entirely nonexistant hierarchal structure vs twitter kotaku and whatever the fuck else is involved in this scandal.
4chan is beastly with the damage they do when its a focused target. But they are no match for an entire internet alliance and thus chose not to fight at all and for the first time in nearly a decade they censored themselves.
I can see how some would misinterprete that as a "loss" but really its more of a strategic non compete. Im sure 4chan and its various boards will forever remain the only true form of the 1st ammendment for decades to come. There is hope there is light there is freedome. Its name is 4chan. And their decision to stay out of this will NOT change that.
#80 - nanako (08/20/2014) [-]
numbers aren't really relevant.

when 4chan goes to war, it fights much like any non national army these days. With anonymity, and guerilla tactics.
#89 - skelebones (08/20/2014) [-]
yes except all the times 4chan has sounded its battle cry two or more prominent boards have marched to battle. this time it seems to only be v/ that wants to get involved. and theyre only a 2nd tier board at minimum (implying /b and /k and /pol are top tier boards in terms of power) if /pol or the others want it they sure arent saying it loudly enough.
so no v/ by itself cannot go to war with twitter(by extension tumblr) and several prominent journalism sites.
so no they decided to sit down and just grit their teeth
User avatar #68 - mephiblis (08/20/2014) [-]
I hope you're right but the thing is, SJWs have already infiltrated 4Chan. They basically own /co/, and now it's obvious that they own /v/ too because every thread started there about Zoe Quinn got deleted ASAP. That's when people from /v/ started coming to /pol/ and starting threads about it and also about the censorship inflicted by the mods and janitors. And then it happened, thread deletion on /pol/. It might be as you say but evidence would argue to the contrary, that the SJWs have even fucked and sucked their way into 4Chan (let's face it, moot is such a beta fagget that he'd even go for a 400 pound hambeast, unlike our Glorious Admin, He Who Is A God Amongst Men).
User avatar #70 - mephiblis (08/20/2014) [-]
And that's just my knowledge of the boards since i only browse /pol/, /k/ and occasionally /v/.
#74 - anonymous (08/20/2014) [-]
as of 30 seconds ago when i was on v/ my posts were still existant in all of their glorious shitposting about the situation/scandal. so for now either the janitors have given up or have gone to bed for the night cuz nothings getting wiped anymore.
SJWs have infiltrated 4chan since way before all of this shit got... well shity. like i said 4chan is a veritable fustercluck of self hate and division. which is kinda the point of having the different boards in the first place. some boards are relativly normal. o/ p/ are the only two i go to and its ratio of shitposting is remarkably low. so its not just one end or the other. 4chan is the truest form of free speech there is which is why sjws exist on there as well. that and well cuz nobody gives a fuck.
#75 - skelebones (08/20/2014) [-]
so no i reiterate. they dont own v/. they merely got v/ to back down and not make the situation worse than it is. because lets face it. without k/ b/ pol/ backing it v/ by itself would get anhilated by the alliance of twitter and the journalism fuckers. again a non compete. not a "bend over v/ and take it like mama wants you to take it"
as for pol/ idfk cuz it seems to swing 50/50 on there(as per the norm) so idk where they stand on this situation
#77 - skelebones (08/20/2014) [-]
then again i could be wrong.
and the death of 4chan is happening right before our very eyes
User avatar #170 - mephiblis (08/20/2014) [-]
This is fake.
#117 - herpage (08/20/2014) [-]
Mods aren't in certain boards, they are Global; only Janitors are Board-Only.
#17 - I have one of those. You don't slash with it, you stab someone… 08/20/2014 on (untitled) 0
#31 - It's a broad topic and i really don't feel like getting into a… 08/20/2014 on (untitled) 0
#29 - You're right, i'm a racist, and it's about culture.  [+] (2 new replies) 08/19/2014 on (untitled) 0
#30 - anonymous (08/19/2014) [-]
that's not racism
User avatar #31 - mephiblis (08/20/2014) [-]
It's a broad topic and i really don't feel like getting into at this time but basically what i don't like is "insert race" culture. It's not because they're a darker shade, it's because those with that shade are a bunch of fucking retards/savages.
#33 - Dunno about /b/ but there's been threads on /pol/ about this e… 08/19/2014 on Not even /b/ talks about this 0
#65 - I meant genetically smart ass -.- 08/18/2014 on the last 0
#62 - Can GMO food be ****** with in anyway as to cause…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/18/2014 on the last +1
User avatar #63 - nimithecat (08/18/2014) [-]
Yes, direct poisoning. As such can be done with ANY crops by spraying poisonous fluids which would be absorbed by the plant, be unaffected by it, and later injested
User avatar #65 - mephiblis (08/18/2014) [-]
I meant genetically smart ass -.-
#36 - Dunno mang, never played the game, looks boring as fuq to me. 08/18/2014 on Video Games IRL -4
#56 - As with everything man made, it has the potential to be misuse…  [+] (4 new replies) 08/18/2014 on the last 0
User avatar #61 - nimithecat (08/18/2014) [-]
Plant genetics have no effect on "inhibitors" as cross breeding certain species is impossible. there is so much effort going into genetic modification to make sure the genes and organics are compatible without harming the human.

Brain inhibitors suchas GABA and Stratera are specifically designed for their tasks, and their first-dose effects are very easily noted by lack of energy.

I am put under brain inhibitors suchas stratera because my brain is always winding out of control, and always racing without being in a position of danger. As a result, this can wear out my nervous system and cause alzheimers sooner.

To control that doseage for an entire plant would be nearly impossible
User avatar #62 - mephiblis (08/18/2014) [-]
Can GMO food be fucked with in anyway as to cause a human problems towards whatever goal?
User avatar #63 - nimithecat (08/18/2014) [-]
Yes, direct poisoning. As such can be done with ANY crops by spraying poisonous fluids which would be absorbed by the plant, be unaffected by it, and later injested
User avatar #65 - mephiblis (08/18/2014) [-]
I meant genetically smart ass -.-
#33 - What's the dealio with this, is it like a city builder thing or what?  [+] (28 new replies) 08/18/2014 on Video Games IRL +2
User avatar #67 - demented (08/18/2014) [-]
god that tileset is painful to look at
#37 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Well, for starters, that screenshot of yours is of the game with some horrible graphic mod. Secondly, Dwarf Fortress is kind of hard to explain. See, the premise is this - you generate a random world, pick a location on the map, be it random or a strategic location like a volcano or near the sea and embark with a group of 7 hard-working dwarves. You try to establish a settlement, which eventually becomes a mighty fortress as migrants, bringing soldiers and craftsmen, come in to populate your fort. Eventually, it becomes a mighty powerful mountainholme, where the king moves in and which you must defend from the forces of evil.

That's the theory, at least. In reality, it's more of a bullshit simulator. As in, it simulates just how much bullshit you can handle before you lose. You start off by embarking in what you thought was a lush forest, but ended up being a shitty swamp, your 7 lazy, borderline retarded alcoholic midgets eventually (after some persuasion) dig a dirty hole in the ground, where they haul their shit and asses. You try to expand the dirty hole and turn it into something, but then a tidal wave of even MORE alcoholic midgets comes in, all of which are stuff like cheesemakers and wood burners, which are virtually useless and just loaf about, eating all your food and drinking all the booze. Just as you think it can't get any worse, the fucking goblins show up to skullfuck everyone, because the immigrants attracted their attention. Everything goes to shit, the few remaining survivors go mad and your little hole in the ground becomes a gaping anus, leaking blood, shit and miasma as your last surviving dwarf crawls out of it only to have their head kicked clean off by a random deer.

See, the point of the game isn't to win. You will lose eventually. There's no win condition programmed, only loss conditions. The goal of the game is to dick around for as long as possible and have as much fun as possible while losing. Hence the games' motto: "Losing is fun.".
User avatar #135 - arkanios (08/19/2014) [-]
Just downloaded Dwarf Fortress, hoping to see if I can try this out. Not sure where to start out, so I'm gonna try to find a beginners guide and try to go from there.
#216 - likeallthecomments (08/19/2014) [-]
you should get masterwork dwarf fortress
its a mod collection, fixes a lot of shit and makes the game less laggy
User avatar #217 - arkanios (08/19/2014) [-]
I'll look it up, thanks for the info.
#48 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
My midgets are so fucking retarded that they won't use all the available seeds to grow crops despite there being plenty of farm space, and subsequently starve to death because there's not enough food.
It's like
"There's not enough food, if only there was a way to get more!" says the farmer dwarf, as he finishes planting crops for the next three months. "I fear we shall all starve to death before long" says his wife, gazing forlornly over the next three acres of empty farmland.
User avatar #50 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Just to clarify, by "while drinking beer" I mean "literally died of thirst while chugging a fucking barrel of beer".
User avatar #49 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Yeah, that seems like fairly standard dwarven intelligence. I recently had a dwarf who died of thirst while drinking beer.
#51 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
Oh man, my first depression spiral was amazing.
I was young and inexperienced, I wanted my dorfs to have a skylight over their meat stockpile so that if it rotted they wouldn't die of miasma. Unfortunately I designated the dig site wrong and the two miners who devoted themselves to the task constantly fell through the floor, kicking up huge amounts of dust in the process.
They didn't seem to be taking any damage from it, so I just let it be. However, one of them went to bed when he was done.
He slept for three months, died of thirst, and rotted in his bed. His wife, grief stricken by the loss, went insane and started dragging his corpse around the halls, spreading miasma everywhere and generally upsetting people. I had no military at this point I reiterate that I was young and inexperienced , so I had no way of stopping her. Eventually she drove everyone insane and it descended into a bloodbath.
All because one pleb tier miner got a bit dizzy after breathing in some dust and fell asleep for so long he died of thirst. Also his wife was too stupid to bury him or anything, so she slept in the bed with his rotting corpse.
#89 - greyhoundfd (08/18/2014) [-]
In the future, use an airlock of doors to block miasma from escaping, instead of creating a skylight. Far less dangerous, and more efficient. I've played for a while, got gud, but still shit compared to a lot of people.
#90 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
I mostly use diagonal entrances now, actually.
#91 - greyhoundfd (08/18/2014) [-]
Have you had any luck with food? I manage to get my industries going, but my dorfs always starve to death or die of thirst.
#93 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
I solved the problem of my dorfs being completely fucking retarded about farming by breeding hundreds of dogs and using meat based dishes instead.
One time a friend was watching me play and she was horrified that I'd butcher half a dozen dogs every month or so. In response, I started butchering all the puppies. All of them.
#94 - greyhoundfd (08/18/2014) [-]
This explains China.
#98 - ninjaroo (08/19/2014) [-]
Dogs are the best form of livestock because, as everyone knows, dogs don't need to eat anything.
User avatar #52 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Yup, that seems like a fairly standard situation.
#53 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
I love my dorf stories. First time I made a functional military I was very proud, so I was watching them train against barrels. I witnessed one dorf punch a barrel into another dorf so hard that both the barrel and the dorf exploded.
The barrel was metal and the dorf had armor on. Steel, if I remember correctly. The blood was everywhere, and nobody cared.
#57 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Yeah, I love my stories as well. I've told some of them so many times people even bothered making pics to go along with them. Like the time I accidentally created the worlds' most lethal little girl. I prefer quality over quantity when it comes to my military, so I select dwarves based on their attributes and train them to superhuman levels. I found a 12-yearold girl, born and raised in the fort, who had great stats, like a strong disease resistance and quick healing, so I recruited her into my army. After a year of intensive physical training, she was finally ready to get her gear and start weapons training. That's when I noticed my mistake - she was fucking tiny. She was so small she couldn't properly use any weapons. I had to give her a large iron dagger I had left over from a stupid goblin thief, who walked into a trap. She was so small she dualwielded the dagger. Still, I'd invested so much time and effort into her training that I decided I may as well finish it. Trained her up, sent her into battle with the other troops. The image of a little girl using a dagger like a broadsword was so adorable in my head.......................... until she started lobbing goblins' heads off with it. She fucking ripped heads and limbs off like there was no tomorrow. Singlehandedly killed a squad of swordsmen. She was so good I sent her to my elite squad. The elite squad consisted of 4 guys with hammers, all massive mountains of muscle and a little girl with a dagger, who put all of them to shame.
#59 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
Never had anything like that happen... Although one time I had a war dog glitch out and identify her puppies as enemies.
She was sitting there guarding my entrance when she gave birth to a litter of several puppies, and immediately turned around and ripped them all to shreds. They never stood a chance.
I like to imagine there was a thief or a kidnapper watching, who immediately noped the fuck out.
User avatar #63 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
There probably was. I've had cases where for some reason or another the wardog guarding my entrance left its' post for a bit. I'd almost instantly have 3-4 kobold thieves detected. The fuckers just sit next to the dog and wait for a chance to get it.
#65 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
Oh, another time I started with a small breeding population of dogs, set for one to be butchered every so often for food, and left them in a room somewhere. I forgot about them for a while, and the next time I went back the room was absolutely fucking slathered in blood. Like, holy shit there was so much of it. Turns out the room was too small and they kept fighting each other. Not enough to kill, but enough to leave enough blood to paint my entire fortress red, if I'd used it as paint.
User avatar #68 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Yeah, I've had animals do that. Turns out stuffing 20 angry turkeys in a 1x1 room was a bad idea. They actually managed to a kill a dwarf that went in there. Pecked the fuckers' eyes out, ripped off his fingers and kept pecking his unconscious body until he died of blood loss. Good thing I didn't like that dwarf. Animals tend to do weird shit sometimes. I once had a turkey that killed a kobold in front of another kobold, got a name and was recorded as a historic figure.
#73 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
After that first time I had too many dogs in the one room, I started enjoying mass-breeding dogs and using them to fight.
There is nothing more satisfying to me than hearing that a child has been kidnapped, sealing the kidnapper in a corridor, and loosing 40 dogs on them.

Speaking of kidnappers, going back to my early days before I knew how to military, I had my first experience with a thief.
He wandered in, stole some stuff as a thief is want to do, and sprinted out upon being discovered. I had no military and no defenses to speak of, but I got lucky. He sprinted out and across the bridge of a giant pit I was digging as my first defenses, and straight into an incoming caravan.
Specifically, the caravan guards. 4 burly pikemen.
They descended on him with a fury I haven't seen before or since. When the dust cleared, I went searching for his body parts. His head had fallen on the ground where he was. His left arm had fallen down the pit. His left leg was splattered all over a nearby wall. His right arm was several squares away. I never found his torso or his right leg.
User avatar #92 - nemesys (08/18/2014) [-]
not mine but i love dorf stories and this is my favourite
I love how astoundingly broken the medical system can get when you have a legendary team.

It started when a forgotten beats melted one of my best soldiers, Mafol Kubuktathur, was melted with diseased blood. Every single body part was red.

The medical dwarves began their grisly works. The diagnosis was over almost instantly, and the surgeon began to remove what appeared to be all of the flesh. The infection had left it in such a state that it was all taken off. After that, bones were set. There were other injured dwarves, but none quite as severe as this one, so the process took about two months. The wounds over her entire body, from the surgery and the original battle were all sealed by adamantine thread and bandage. Another month spent recovering, with more wound dressing and suturing every other day, and she got out of bed. What at the time must have been little more than an adamantine suit with a pool of organ mush inside of it, stood up, and armed itself with the adamantine sword it used when it was still a dwarf, and straight away went back to the training room.

Now It is invincible. It cannot bleed to death, because there is no flesh to bleed from, and there is nothing left to infect, so I put it in a squad consisting only of this dwarf, and put it in a cage with a food chute and booze stockpile.

Now, when goblins or whatever show up to try to rape my fort, I just pull the lever and watch the carnage as the creature becomes a whirlwind of gore.

This was my most memorable Dwarf. All I could imagine while I was playing was the cheif medical dwarf saying "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him, we have the technology."
#96 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
Haha I've read that one, it's a good story.
User avatar #35 - godtherapist (08/18/2014) [-]
When did DF get sprites?
User avatar #38 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
It's just a graphic mod. A shitty one at that.
User avatar #36 - mephiblis (08/18/2014) [-]
Dunno mang, never played the game, looks boring as fuq to me.
#31 - Is Dwarf Fortress that game that looks like it's from the 80s?  [+] (30 new replies) 08/18/2014 on Video Games IRL +2
#32 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Yeah, though I'm not sure there were many ASCII games in the 80s.
#33 - mephiblis (08/18/2014) [-]
What's the dealio with this, is it like a city builder thing or what?
User avatar #67 - demented (08/18/2014) [-]
god that tileset is painful to look at
#37 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Well, for starters, that screenshot of yours is of the game with some horrible graphic mod. Secondly, Dwarf Fortress is kind of hard to explain. See, the premise is this - you generate a random world, pick a location on the map, be it random or a strategic location like a volcano or near the sea and embark with a group of 7 hard-working dwarves. You try to establish a settlement, which eventually becomes a mighty fortress as migrants, bringing soldiers and craftsmen, come in to populate your fort. Eventually, it becomes a mighty powerful mountainholme, where the king moves in and which you must defend from the forces of evil.

That's the theory, at least. In reality, it's more of a bullshit simulator. As in, it simulates just how much bullshit you can handle before you lose. You start off by embarking in what you thought was a lush forest, but ended up being a shitty swamp, your 7 lazy, borderline retarded alcoholic midgets eventually (after some persuasion) dig a dirty hole in the ground, where they haul their shit and asses. You try to expand the dirty hole and turn it into something, but then a tidal wave of even MORE alcoholic midgets comes in, all of which are stuff like cheesemakers and wood burners, which are virtually useless and just loaf about, eating all your food and drinking all the booze. Just as you think it can't get any worse, the fucking goblins show up to skullfuck everyone, because the immigrants attracted their attention. Everything goes to shit, the few remaining survivors go mad and your little hole in the ground becomes a gaping anus, leaking blood, shit and miasma as your last surviving dwarf crawls out of it only to have their head kicked clean off by a random deer.

See, the point of the game isn't to win. You will lose eventually. There's no win condition programmed, only loss conditions. The goal of the game is to dick around for as long as possible and have as much fun as possible while losing. Hence the games' motto: "Losing is fun.".
User avatar #135 - arkanios (08/19/2014) [-]
Just downloaded Dwarf Fortress, hoping to see if I can try this out. Not sure where to start out, so I'm gonna try to find a beginners guide and try to go from there.
#216 - likeallthecomments (08/19/2014) [-]
you should get masterwork dwarf fortress
its a mod collection, fixes a lot of shit and makes the game less laggy
User avatar #217 - arkanios (08/19/2014) [-]
I'll look it up, thanks for the info.
#48 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
My midgets are so fucking retarded that they won't use all the available seeds to grow crops despite there being plenty of farm space, and subsequently starve to death because there's not enough food.
It's like
"There's not enough food, if only there was a way to get more!" says the farmer dwarf, as he finishes planting crops for the next three months. "I fear we shall all starve to death before long" says his wife, gazing forlornly over the next three acres of empty farmland.
User avatar #50 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Just to clarify, by "while drinking beer" I mean "literally died of thirst while chugging a fucking barrel of beer".
User avatar #49 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Yeah, that seems like fairly standard dwarven intelligence. I recently had a dwarf who died of thirst while drinking beer.
#51 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
Oh man, my first depression spiral was amazing.
I was young and inexperienced, I wanted my dorfs to have a skylight over their meat stockpile so that if it rotted they wouldn't die of miasma. Unfortunately I designated the dig site wrong and the two miners who devoted themselves to the task constantly fell through the floor, kicking up huge amounts of dust in the process.
They didn't seem to be taking any damage from it, so I just let it be. However, one of them went to bed when he was done.
He slept for three months, died of thirst, and rotted in his bed. His wife, grief stricken by the loss, went insane and started dragging his corpse around the halls, spreading miasma everywhere and generally upsetting people. I had no military at this point I reiterate that I was young and inexperienced , so I had no way of stopping her. Eventually she drove everyone insane and it descended into a bloodbath.
All because one pleb tier miner got a bit dizzy after breathing in some dust and fell asleep for so long he died of thirst. Also his wife was too stupid to bury him or anything, so she slept in the bed with his rotting corpse.
#89 - greyhoundfd (08/18/2014) [-]
In the future, use an airlock of doors to block miasma from escaping, instead of creating a skylight. Far less dangerous, and more efficient. I've played for a while, got gud, but still shit compared to a lot of people.
#90 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
I mostly use diagonal entrances now, actually.
#91 - greyhoundfd (08/18/2014) [-]
Have you had any luck with food? I manage to get my industries going, but my dorfs always starve to death or die of thirst.
#93 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
I solved the problem of my dorfs being completely fucking retarded about farming by breeding hundreds of dogs and using meat based dishes instead.
One time a friend was watching me play and she was horrified that I'd butcher half a dozen dogs every month or so. In response, I started butchering all the puppies. All of them.
#94 - greyhoundfd (08/18/2014) [-]
This explains China.
#98 - ninjaroo (08/19/2014) [-]
Dogs are the best form of livestock because, as everyone knows, dogs don't need to eat anything.
User avatar #52 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Yup, that seems like a fairly standard situation.
#53 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
I love my dorf stories. First time I made a functional military I was very proud, so I was watching them train against barrels. I witnessed one dorf punch a barrel into another dorf so hard that both the barrel and the dorf exploded.
The barrel was metal and the dorf had armor on. Steel, if I remember correctly. The blood was everywhere, and nobody cared.
#57 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Yeah, I love my stories as well. I've told some of them so many times people even bothered making pics to go along with them. Like the time I accidentally created the worlds' most lethal little girl. I prefer quality over quantity when it comes to my military, so I select dwarves based on their attributes and train them to superhuman levels. I found a 12-yearold girl, born and raised in the fort, who had great stats, like a strong disease resistance and quick healing, so I recruited her into my army. After a year of intensive physical training, she was finally ready to get her gear and start weapons training. That's when I noticed my mistake - she was fucking tiny. She was so small she couldn't properly use any weapons. I had to give her a large iron dagger I had left over from a stupid goblin thief, who walked into a trap. She was so small she dualwielded the dagger. Still, I'd invested so much time and effort into her training that I decided I may as well finish it. Trained her up, sent her into battle with the other troops. The image of a little girl using a dagger like a broadsword was so adorable in my head.......................... until she started lobbing goblins' heads off with it. She fucking ripped heads and limbs off like there was no tomorrow. Singlehandedly killed a squad of swordsmen. She was so good I sent her to my elite squad. The elite squad consisted of 4 guys with hammers, all massive mountains of muscle and a little girl with a dagger, who put all of them to shame.
#59 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
Never had anything like that happen... Although one time I had a war dog glitch out and identify her puppies as enemies.
She was sitting there guarding my entrance when she gave birth to a litter of several puppies, and immediately turned around and ripped them all to shreds. They never stood a chance.
I like to imagine there was a thief or a kidnapper watching, who immediately noped the fuck out.
User avatar #63 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
There probably was. I've had cases where for some reason or another the wardog guarding my entrance left its' post for a bit. I'd almost instantly have 3-4 kobold thieves detected. The fuckers just sit next to the dog and wait for a chance to get it.
#65 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
Oh, another time I started with a small breeding population of dogs, set for one to be butchered every so often for food, and left them in a room somewhere. I forgot about them for a while, and the next time I went back the room was absolutely fucking slathered in blood. Like, holy shit there was so much of it. Turns out the room was too small and they kept fighting each other. Not enough to kill, but enough to leave enough blood to paint my entire fortress red, if I'd used it as paint.
User avatar #68 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
Yeah, I've had animals do that. Turns out stuffing 20 angry turkeys in a 1x1 room was a bad idea. They actually managed to a kill a dwarf that went in there. Pecked the fuckers' eyes out, ripped off his fingers and kept pecking his unconscious body until he died of blood loss. Good thing I didn't like that dwarf. Animals tend to do weird shit sometimes. I once had a turkey that killed a kobold in front of another kobold, got a name and was recorded as a historic figure.
#73 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
After that first time I had too many dogs in the one room, I started enjoying mass-breeding dogs and using them to fight.
There is nothing more satisfying to me than hearing that a child has been kidnapped, sealing the kidnapper in a corridor, and loosing 40 dogs on them.

Speaking of kidnappers, going back to my early days before I knew how to military, I had my first experience with a thief.
He wandered in, stole some stuff as a thief is want to do, and sprinted out upon being discovered. I had no military and no defenses to speak of, but I got lucky. He sprinted out and across the bridge of a giant pit I was digging as my first defenses, and straight into an incoming caravan.
Specifically, the caravan guards. 4 burly pikemen.
They descended on him with a fury I haven't seen before or since. When the dust cleared, I went searching for his body parts. His head had fallen on the ground where he was. His left arm had fallen down the pit. His left leg was splattered all over a nearby wall. His right arm was several squares away. I never found his torso or his right leg.
User avatar #92 - nemesys (08/18/2014) [-]
not mine but i love dorf stories and this is my favourite
I love how astoundingly broken the medical system can get when you have a legendary team.

It started when a forgotten beats melted one of my best soldiers, Mafol Kubuktathur, was melted with diseased blood. Every single body part was red.

The medical dwarves began their grisly works. The diagnosis was over almost instantly, and the surgeon began to remove what appeared to be all of the flesh. The infection had left it in such a state that it was all taken off. After that, bones were set. There were other injured dwarves, but none quite as severe as this one, so the process took about two months. The wounds over her entire body, from the surgery and the original battle were all sealed by adamantine thread and bandage. Another month spent recovering, with more wound dressing and suturing every other day, and she got out of bed. What at the time must have been little more than an adamantine suit with a pool of organ mush inside of it, stood up, and armed itself with the adamantine sword it used when it was still a dwarf, and straight away went back to the training room.

Now It is invincible. It cannot bleed to death, because there is no flesh to bleed from, and there is nothing left to infect, so I put it in a squad consisting only of this dwarf, and put it in a cage with a food chute and booze stockpile.

Now, when goblins or whatever show up to try to rape my fort, I just pull the lever and watch the carnage as the creature becomes a whirlwind of gore.

This was my most memorable Dwarf. All I could imagine while I was playing was the cheif medical dwarf saying "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him, we have the technology."
#96 - ninjaroo (08/18/2014) [-]
Haha I've read that one, it's a good story.
User avatar #35 - godtherapist (08/18/2014) [-]
When did DF get sprites?
User avatar #38 - thechosentroll (08/18/2014) [-]
It's just a graphic mod. A shitty one at that.
User avatar #36 - mephiblis (08/18/2014) [-]
Dunno mang, never played the game, looks boring as fuq to me.
#18 - Found the Feminazi Hamplanet Womyn. Wasn't hard, it's gravity … 08/18/2014 on No Regrets +3
#138 - Ughhhh don't stop, you're giving me a daydream-negro-purge boner! 08/18/2014 on Which pill do you take? +16
#65 - Cosmoline mentioned, pic now mandatory. 08/18/2014 on /k/ +7
#62 - ООоооо Туууурциииии. Кај сте комш… 08/18/2014 on /k/ +1
#124 - >Priceless People keep overestimating what they're…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/18/2014 on Which pill do you take? +33
#137 - andrewkinsella (08/18/2014) [-]
I'd kill an afro-nigger for five pounds. Imagine, polish off 1,000,000 of the Ethiopian ones that won't be missed and you're rich.
#138 - mephiblis (08/18/2014) [-]
Ughhhh don't stop, you're giving me a daydream-negro-purge boner!
#25 - And full of "Boom-Boom Pow" Erikas and "Durka … 08/18/2014 on (untitled) -2
#24 - Golly gee, i get to post this GIF in 2 threads in a row, happy day! 08/18/2014 on (untitled) 0
#78 - aloha snackbar 08/18/2014 on WAIT FOR IT.... 0
#29 - I try that on my GF every time, never works 08/18/2014 on My birthday fantasy. 0
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User avatar #5 to #4 - mephiblis (06/23/2014) [-]
Well ******* finally you ******* **** , i've been ******* waiting for you **************** . ****** . <3
#2 - anonymous (11/02/2013) [-]
i am going to **** you up you disgusting piece of **** , prepare to die
User avatar #3 to #2 - mephiblis (11/02/2013) [-]
lul k
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