Alex awoke with a splitting headache, which probably had something to do with the brand on his forehead.

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By the outskirts of the city, where it meets dense forest, my father told me a man used to live all alone away from the noise.

the only thing in know about seattle is what i learn from infamous second son. sorry

This man was a avid titty collecter, he loved them in all sizes.

My father told me never to venture too close to the woods, or i might get strangely drozey, and wake up in the woods without my nipples

Truely a fate worse then death.

I remember the dream vividly, as if it was but an imprintation of a past event, masking itself as a nighttime vision. I'm not sure what was worse, the chill of the cold that nipped at my neck, slowly snaking down my body as every fiber of my being screamed for me to leave, or the smell of decaying flesh mixed with aged feces. With every step I took, no matter what the direction, I wandered deeper and deeper, ever so aimlessly, into the dark aether that spread before me. It wasn't until about a mile and a half of walking that I realized I was being watched. This was made obvious by the hand that seemed to, out of nowhere, come to rest on my shoulder. I know, one sentence, but I love Lovecraft and couldn't resist

"Your nipples will be mine, son" whispered the voice behind me.

Bruh. DAs dank, plox moar

s'allright

I bet you kiss pretty girls faggot

U fukken heard me marshall, Chip is teh better one.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little cuck? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the US Marines, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on ISIS, and I have over 1,337 confirmed kills. I am trained in silver-back gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me on Funnyjunk? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting Addy and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over nine thousand, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, juaneljalapeno.

I bet you kiss pretty girls faggot