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#1 - luckythatoneguy ONLINE (09/05/2012) [-]
I know above you sit and wait
Always waiting for the date
The day of which you will return
To watch this foalish city burn
The royal night guard waits by and by
For you to come tearing through the sky.
-
After many years it is time
To wipe Equestria from its grime
We feel your presence drawing near
All but us should feel fear
For you our princess have come back
To lead us in the great attack
-
The time draws near for the event
But there is something we must not forget
The current ruler must be brought down
So that you may receive the crown
Celestia is to strong right now
But soon it will be her that will bow
-
Inside the castle we have a mare
Her sullen name is Despair
She has been spying for many years
And she knows Celestia's greatest fears
Banished and sent to the moon
Would be Celestia's greatest doom
-
The attack begins, but where does tia lay
But, o so far away
On the moon she does cry
While she watches us on high
Without their ruler they easily fall
Now to Nightmare Moon they do crawl
-
Wrote by me being bored in 5th period. Luna is so awesome so i did this. Hope you enjoy :D.
User avatar #7 to #1 - sinery (11/29/2012) [-]
I have to agree with crowd here that some parts could improve which he mentioned.
Otherwise, when i write my rhymes i do not make an uppercase's for each new row, but when there's a pause, for example:

You dwell there in the dark
searching for a spark
A spark of comfort or so it seems
but i'll have you believe
the embrace you'll get
will not satisfy your needs.
User avatar #2 to #1 - crowdpleazer ONLINE (09/05/2012) [-]
very nice theres some parts that can be worded a little better

To wipe Equestria from its grime- to cleanse the city of the grime

So that you may receive the crown -the rightful ruler should gain the crown?

Celestia is to strong right now - Celestia is strong as of right now

But soon it will be her that will bow -but soon she will be the one who bows

And she knows Celestia's greatest fears- she knows of Celestia's greatest fears

But, o so far away -But, o so very far away
User avatar #3 to #2 - crowdpleazer ONLINE (09/05/2012) [-]
While she watches us on high - she sits and watches as we raise high
User avatar #4 to #3 - crowdpleazer ONLINE (09/05/2012) [-]
not bad at all though i like the darkness of the poem and how loyal you showed her subjects to be not bad at all
#5 to #4 - luckythatoneguy ONLINE (09/05/2012) [-]
Thankies all criticism is good criticism.
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