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ktjacobs

ktjacobs Avatar Level 213 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Date Signed Up:2/09/2012
Last Login:10/10/2014
Location:USA
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 260 total,  460 ,  200
Comment Thumbs: 1399 total,  1762 ,  363
Content Level Progress: 10% (1/10)
Level 26 Content: Peasant → Level 27 Content: Peasant
Comment Level Progress: 95% (95/100)
Level 213 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 214 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:0
Content Views:30648
Times Content Favorited:7 times
Total Comments Made:474
FJ Points:1736

latest user's comments

#31 - No. Actually you have earned 7 internets.  [+] (2 new replies) 05/12/2012 on RANDOM FACTS-50 +8
#40 - guitaraddict has deleted their comment.
User avatar #41 - ktjacobs (05/12/2012) [-]
IDGAF if I bring the entirety of these cursed interwebs with me!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!!
#5 - Too much trolling is a known cause for suicides. I already wan… 05/09/2012 on WTF ADMIN???? WTF? 0
#2579 - When have you ever seen the moon that small? Nope, this is an … 05/03/2012 on June 6, 2012 venus crosses... +2
#226 - Picture 05/03/2012 on It's been a while.... +12
#1006 - Let me see, do I have any ***** here to give? Let…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/03/2012 on Bad time -1
User avatar #1093 - stefanolopcus (05/04/2012) [-]
one thumb for you (y)
#1005 - Pussy. 05/03/2012 on Bad time +1
#349 - >Be a moron >Instantly believe everything in the new… 04/14/2012 on skittles make you do some shit +3
#187 - Or nude hurdles. 04/14/2012 on Chosen one +3
#585 - In the military, so I get it OP. I get it. 04/13/2012 on Being an American is hard, man 0
#590 - I guess this is what I have to look forward to.  [+] (1 new reply) 04/10/2012 on For a better world. +1
#591 - stdream (04/10/2012) [-]
**stdream rolled a random image posted in comment #179 at Lost In Space ** or a bow and arrow they are awesome :D
#111 - You want my guns? Come and get them. I'll be sure to give you …  [+] (3 new replies) 04/10/2012 on For a better world. +2
#586 - stdream (04/10/2012) [-]
that is very kind of you :) that way you cant do much damage with your guns :)
#590 - ktjacobs (04/10/2012) [-]
I guess this is what I have to look forward to.
#591 - stdream (04/10/2012) [-]
**stdream rolled a random image posted in comment #179 at Lost In Space ** or a bow and arrow they are awesome :D
#222 - proof or gtfo.  [+] (1 new reply) 04/06/2012 on More Impossibru -2
#236 - thewrongguy (04/06/2012) [-]
yes, this is still on my desktop, now... gtfo
#447 - Wow, really? You think anyone here didn't see frontpage?__ 04/06/2012 on Dubstep tools -2
#784 - You'll just be running, running all the time!  [+] (1 new reply) 03/25/2012 on fútbol yeah!!!! +1
User avatar #788 - humpcatting (03/25/2012) [-]
I don't stop running. Sleep is for the weak.
#775 - humpcatting!!! ************ !!! TOO ENERGETIC FOR …  [+] (16 new replies) 03/25/2012 on fútbol yeah!!!! +1
User avatar #779 - humpcatting (03/25/2012) [-]
Yeah, fuck normal sports. I have too much energy ALL THE TIME.

You don't talk shit about soccer. It's the sport of kings.
User avatar #796 - footballmaniac (03/25/2012) [-]
Sport of Kings eh?
Didn't know a prerequisite of being a king is bitching and faking injuries whenever someone as much as touches you.

User avatar #816 - humpcatting (03/25/2012) [-]
Right, because soccer is the only sport in which people bitch/fake falls. Watch the NBA and the NFL and tell me they're not a bunch of overpaid little bitches who sit out games because of a sprained ankle. I have personally seen kids and pro players with BROKEN fucking ankles continue to play the game of soccer. I sure hope you're trolling, otherwise, you know absolutely nothing of my sport.
User avatar #826 - footballmaniac (03/25/2012) [-]
Huh. Weird. I've never seen a football player get ejected for "being too rough".
User avatar #836 - humpcatting (03/25/2012) [-]
That's because in soccer, it takes actual skill to take the ball from an opposing player rather than obnoxiously running into the other player like a retarded bull. Soccer requires finesse that no football player could understand.
User avatar #851 - footballmaniac (03/25/2012) [-]
"Finnesse that no football player could understand".
Do me a favor and look up "Barry Sanders".

"it takes actual skill to take the ball from an opposing player rather than obnoxiously running into the other player like a retarded bull"
Hmm. Yeah. Pass coverage and interceptions require absolutely no skill at all.
User avatar #865 - humpcatting (03/25/2012) [-]
It's different when the ball is in the air, jackass. You're talking to a man who watches football religiously. I'm not saying that there is no finesse in football, just that it's of a completely different variety than that of soccer. Sure, Barry Sanders was fast and elusive, but the ball was tucked into his arm, dipshit. Professional soccer players must maintain control of a freely moving ball while showing just as much, if not more, finesse and speed that Barry Sanders in his wildest dreams.

Get real.
User avatar #876 - footballmaniac (03/25/2012) [-]
For someone that "watches football religiously", you certainly don't know a lot about it. Tucked into his arms? So I guess he was never able to catch a pitch or a pass running at full speed? Getting past like 4 or 5 defenders without even being touched doesn't require finesse?

Oh and I have played a year of soccer (worst year of my life). It's not that difficult. I play wide receiver for the school football team. It requires a lot of preparation, play book studying, practicing route running, concentration, and once again, knowing how to take a hit without being a little bitch about it.

Just looked up a random video for ya. Find me a soccer player that can pull this off:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AisAIRJH9HI
User avatar #900 - humpcatting (03/25/2012) [-]
I'll find you far more soccer players that have better hands than all of them. They're called goalies, and they manage to catch soccer balls, which have no leather grip, that are flying at them at over 70 miles an hour.

I know more about football than you give me credit for. You assume I don't know anything about it because I prefer soccer, yet you hate on soccer after only having played a year of it. Speaking of which, did you hate it because you actually had to run, or was it because you lack the skills necessary to do it right?

And as for your insinuation that soccer players don't have to study, that's just absurd. As a goalie, I spent HOURS watching film of opposing strikers, learning their tendencies and preparing myself to face them. That sounds like preparation to me.
User avatar #926 - footballmaniac (03/25/2012) [-]
I'll find you far more soccer players that have better hands than all of them. They're called goalies, and they manage to catch soccer balls, which have no leather grip, that are flying at them at over 70 miles an hour.

-Yes, and they wear huge ass gloves so they don't break a nail.

I know more about football than you give me credit for. You assume I don't know anything about it because I prefer soccer, yet you hate on soccer after only having played a year of it. Speaking of which, did you hate it because you actually had to run, or was it because you lack the skills necessary to do it right?

-Because I had to run? Yes, you're right. I hated running. Because as a wide receiver, I do absolutely no running at all.

And as for your insinuation that soccer players don't have to study, that's just absurd. As a goalie, I spent HOURS watching film of opposing strikers, learning their tendencies and preparing myself to face them. That sounds like preparation to me.

-Hmm. You had to watch film and watch how people kick a ball. Interesting. I have to:
Memorize a playbook as thick as a fucking Harry Potter book.
Memorize the key words for audibles.
Know all of the defensive coverage schemes.
Figure out if the defense is in man or zone coverage.
Know how to adjust my route to find the soft spot in the zone.
Know all of the different option routes so there's no miscommunication with my quarterback.
Watch film of other teams. Not just what the secondary is doing, but their play calling tendencies too.

But yeah, you have to watch people kick a ball. I'm impressed.
User avatar #982 - humpcatting (03/25/2012) [-]
"Yes, and they wear huge ass gloves so they don't break a nail. "

Actually, goalie gloves have minimal padding and are only worn to prevent leaving imprints and bruises, as well as cushioning the impact to prevent fractured wrists, which are still a common occurrence. And wide receivers don't wear gloves, right?

" Because I had to run? Yes, you're right. I hated running. Because as a wide receiver, I do absolutely no running at all."

In American football, running is fragmented into plays, which last an average of a few seconds to a minute in time, and are divided by breaks. In soccer, players are constantly running, as is the clock. An average midfielder runs about 5.3 miles per game, moving constantly. I assume you do that in a week's worth of practices.

"But yeah, you have to watch people kick a ball. I'm impressed."

First of all, there are plays in soccer, too. We don't simply run free form and hope that eventually the ball goes in the net. And I don't just watch people kick. I watch the entire opposing offense. I learn their build-up style, their pace, the tendencies of every player on the opposing team, observe their use of varying formations and how each one affects their playing style, and arrange a plan for not only myself, but my defenders as well.
But I don't do shit, right?
User avatar #1010 - footballmaniac (03/25/2012) [-]
I'm gonna settle this once and for all.
Ask an unbiased fan which sport is manlier.
There you go. I win.
User avatar #1023 - humpcatting (03/25/2012) [-]
There is no such thing as an unbiased fan. As you travel to different places, you will get a different answer.
#1016 - humpcatting has deleted their comment.
User avatar #784 - ktjacobs (03/25/2012) [-]
You'll just be running, running all the time!
User avatar #788 - humpcatting (03/25/2012) [-]
I don't stop running. Sleep is for the weak.
#283 - Obviously doesn't have an iphone....  [+] (1 new reply) 03/25/2012 on IE -6
#314 - seekay (03/25/2012) [-]
iPhone is for suckers
#508 - **ktjacobs rolls 638,316,257** How many fj'ers on omegle today. 03/24/2012 on exactly my thoughts -1
#364 - Defending /b/ like a religion. Never been on, never said a thi… 03/23/2012 on This song is for you +2
#404 - I don't see the problem here. 03/23/2012 on The laser pointer 0
#911 - So true, if you want porn, funnyjunk ain't the place. Not sayi… 03/23/2012 on NSFW 24 hour Limit can be GONE 0
#29 - This is for you. Enjoy! 03/23/2012 on Photobomb Lvl +1
#30 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 03/23/2012 on If you know what I mean -14
#92 - johnric has deleted their comment.
#221 - Im throwing money at the screen, but nothing is happening. 03/23/2012 on Chocolate 0
#250 - **ktjacobs rolled a random image posted in comment #2 at H… 03/22/2012 on A Poem 0
#1 - Once you see it, you can't go back... 03/22/2012 on Almost passed the ninja... +1
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User avatar #1 - broniesunited (12/16/2012) [-]
Was that guy a ******* idiot or what??
User avatar #2 to #1 - ktjacobs (12/16/2012) [-]
Not an idiot, really. Just ignorant.
User avatar #3 to #2 - broniesunited (12/16/2012) [-]
I can't stand anyone anymore... what the hell has our society become? ...
User avatar #4 to #3 - ktjacobs (12/16/2012) [-]
A large bag of **** .
User avatar #5 to #4 - broniesunited (12/16/2012) [-]
But anyways, I'm real sorry to hear about your friend man.. I know it must be hard.

And honestly.. those 3 things you said to that guy, it changes you, it stays with you, it haunts you... gave me cold chills... because you're absolutely right, it does..
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