I love guns so much, I became a titan.

**konradkurze rolls 65**
dubs and Kras admits hes an aimhacker

AIMIN'? WOTZ DAT?

< Kras in real life

Flatterer.

Do you think this is a motherfucking game?

< TF2 in a nutshell

The Emperor did not require a hat, and neither do I.

you know you want your own Angry Marines hat

Actually, I am more inclined towards the headgear of the Inquisition.

when Kras becomes Vampire Hunter K

btw, your pic has boobs
you Transvestite

I know how to reincarnate. Gender isn't a choice when I do, however.

so youre happy being a Krasvestite?

At this point, there's very little that phases me.

Kras the Loyalist

In the Emperor's name.

so close

I HAVE NO NEED OF AIMING, FOR MY TANK HAD A THREESOME WITH A BUNKER AND AN ELECTRICAL STORM.

no need for aiming?

NONE WHATSOEVER.

Continued.

Master Kras has left his cogitator-station. I am here to replace him in the online database you call 'the Internet'.

Warp Dust and Carnifex droppings.

Did you say warp dust?

It's sitting at 86% solubility in the fluids of outsexed Dark Eldar Wyches.

so....
youre saying i need to drink dark eldar blood to get dusted?

First, eat the sammich. It is a glorious sammich. You must eat it.
Then the powder will react with your saliva. As long as there is a single speck of powder, the delicious-ified girlcum of a hundred Dark Eldar Wyches will be flowing down your throat. Somewhere along the line in your digestive system, all your stomach enzymes will be breaking apart the Wychcum, which will be carrying microscopic traces of Warp Dust. That Warp Dust will travel up via your bloodstream to your brain, where it will manifest itself as a stone in your brain which will channel Warp energies to fuel itself.
'mmaterium, fuck yeah.

mfw the drug hits

Lightning claws, please. Actually, just that figure there in Soviet colours. That is, Gun-metal Grey everywhere except for the suit's trim, which is Bright Brass, and the helmet which is predominantly Gunmetal Grey, except for some decals and patterns which are Blood Red.
Oh, and can you make sure my Lightning Claws work this time? The last Technomagos who tried to do it sent me a dummy suit made of plasteel and stole all the money I gave him.

Pic unrelated.

gunmetal grey with brass trim, thats the pre-heresy Death Guard colors......
you almost heretic

Actually, I'm thinking that Beaten Gold will work better for the trim. And the soft armor of my suit can be a slightly darker Grey, too.
But it's the decals on my helmet that make all the difference, comrade. What would the Death Korps be if not for the skulls upon their masks? What would be a Blood Angel without the wings mounted on his Jump Pack?

No, the red is there for a reason. Blood red. We all bleed it...

(Pic related, techno-heresy)

youre lucky you bleed red
ive been daemonic for so long, i dont know what i bleed anymore......

that tech priest isnt a heretic, hes just part of the old Mechanicum that accepted new technology

I told you, man. I frakkin' told you not to turn to Chaos. It's only fun for a while.

Oh well. For what it's worth, I might feel a shred of pity when running you over.

< but only chaos gets this badass looking
its worth the trade

plus a bit hard to run me over when im flying above you

Can't get me, I'm in mah TANK!

yay for melta bombs

goodbye tank

.......or i could just lead a sqaud of raptors in, 2 can use their melta guns while the rest fudgepack krak grenades up your tanks ass, then poof, we get a fireworks display of your tank

your move

Can't catch me if my tank's moving too fast!

Look, just because someone hasn't developed an anti-tank tank that flips other tanks over doesn't mean it's a good idea.

well, if theres ever a tank that can move faster than the rocket speed that raptors fly at, id say its fuckthatshit o'clock and hit the planet with cyclonic nukes

either that or id play the alpha legion game, have some of mine infiltrate your army and replace the crew to your tank. presto tanks mine

But can your heretic legions stand up to RIPNTEARDICKASAURUS REX?

what if i sent an Eversorass at you

I would cook your Eversorass.

then i shall have Dark Eldar Assblades come rape you

The funny thing is, I'm not even surprised the Dark Eldar have butt-plugs with swords attached.

and i shall have hot dark eldar girls jiggle in front of you, and while you are busy fapping, i shall steal much of your tanks and equipment

We don't care for xenos, actually. The Imperium of Man has all the sexy ladies we like, let alone need. And softcore pornography is provided by the Commissariat.

then i shall have cultists throw 3rd edition rocks at your tanks

Sammich
Now

In life lies shame; in death atonement.

and on this day, Kras and i drank ourselves to death

For the Emperor, CHUG!

ill just tenderize you a fresh steak

WOT?! WHERE'Z DA GRILLA?! 'AT'S NOT HOW YOU COOK A HOOMIE!

i prefer dead marine raw

U WOT, SPIKEY BOY?! AI'M GONNA HAF TA KRUMP YA FER DAT!!

FER DE EMPERWAAAAAAUUGH!

BEGONE XENOS

LET ME COOK THEE WITH PLASMA

OUZ CAN'T 'IT ME IN MAH DEFF DREDD!

thats nice
I have the sith powers

your dread is doomed

YOU CANNOT STAND AGAINST US!

BELIEVE NOT IN MANKIND THAT BELIEVES IN THE EMPEROR!
BELIEVE IN THE EMPEROR, WHO BELIEVES IN MANKIND!

HIS IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS, THE WARP, AND THE VERY CHAOS GODS THEMSELVES!

Hes a little old man on his golden rocking chair, talking about the 'good old days'

Yeah, not since the accident...

yeah
when you mess around with enough warp energy to create 21 primarchs...something is bound to go wrong

Actually, Psychic Wizard Baby just did SCIENCE!. Nothing Warp-related about it, except four dicks that decided to make things difficult.

have you read the 40k storyline?
the emperor harnessed power of the warp into his 21 sons......
hence why they had powers and some had mutations

and one one note, when fulgrim killed ferrus. there was an explosion of warp energy

RIP Futurama

It's not too much of a loss. In the grim darkness of the forty-first mullenium, billions of human lives are practically worthless and may be sacrificed to save trillions, without a doubt.
Exterminatus it is.

Well, looks like the titans are dead, but i know how to make more.

So, what is their weakness?

If i tell you, you'll use it against me.

Ah, fuck it. I'll just wait for the Tyranids to come along and eat them all.
Those things can regenerate, but the Tyranids will just keep digesting them.

Congratulations, you gave the fucking TYRANIDS endless biomass. Now we'll never defeat them.

Would you say they are as big as a house?

How big are they?

Hormagaunts and Termagaunts are about the height of regular humans, but they swarm you en masse and if they're under the control of the Hive Mind, they don't care for casualties. Hormagaunts swarm you and claw your face off, while Termagaunts stand back and shoot you to pieces.
The other end of the spectrum is the Tyranid Bio-Titans, which can be up to a kilometer tall. They're generally like the huge thing in my above picture.
Then there's the bioships they go through space with, which can be hundreds of kilometers long/in size.
And to think they swarm us with these things...

You don't know much about Warhammer 40,000, do you?

I just looked them up to know what the titans would be facing, the wiki said one of the biggest is about 13 meters, the most common titan height is 45 meters.

both are average, so there are alot bigger and smaller ones.

Then again, their numbers are endless and the giants just keep on regenerating. Congrats, you've made the Tyranids unstoppable.

But....the biggest bio-titans on average are about 14 meters, the average titan is about 45 meters....the titans win. I have solved your problem.

Numbers, and your forces are an endless resource.
Besides, the Tyranids will likely just evolve something bigger and nastier to kill your giant lumps of biomass.

But.....but...my forces are stronger...because they won't be able to eat my titans, and im not sure they can take down the armored titan.

Bio-plasma or acid to melt the armor, and to the point about eating your titans... Well, just imagine a couple million of those little things.

Regen the armor, They might be able to eat the smaller ones, but the colossal titan would beat them.

That's why there's always more Tyranids.
You must not be getting this: Their numbers are literally endless. No matter how big the titan you're throwing at them, they will always just keep on charging, and devouring your large one.
Your titans are an endless source of biomass for them!
And don't even get me started on what would happen if a dozen or so Tyranid Bio-Titans decided to swarm your colossal one.

But, the titans are fast, and would easily outrun the bio-titans, or just smash them, the colossal titan would probably just chunk stuff at them and the ships

Exactly what part of 'endless numbers' do you not get? If the Tyranids can't catch you from one or few directions, they'll surround you and rip you apart.
Besides, I'm fairly certain the Tyranids could evolve crazy-ass bio-toxins (a shitload better than their usual stuff, anyway) to kill the titans post haste.

If you use the normal more common type though, titans will win.

So pretty much they look like a big version of what you posted above.

Nope, only played alittle of 40k and alittle of space marines.
Yep, titans are fucked in that.

No, the planet's completely obliterated. And the guns of the Imperium can get bigger than that.

Who said i was on that planet.

Icons? What is this facebook?

I will try.

wildikdog used Anime!
But it failed!

Tomichu used Positive Charge!
Tomichu is now shielded!

But your wall of happiness has been sliced and diced...i have now opened a hole for the titans to invade.

Hole in the defenses? [CONFIRMED]
Massive swarm of monsters coming through? [PROBABILITY 95%]

I shall have no fear, for my faith is a shield proof against their blandishments, and I'm pretty sure the guns on this thing can turn them into a gory mist.

Nope sorry, Massive explosions can't kill titans though it would slow them down alittle.

And a Magna-Melta doesn't cause explosions. It melts a hole right through whatever's unlucky enough to be targeted by it.
And Vanquishers exist for a reason.

Sorry those won't work either, they will just regenerate, they have one weakness, but i ain't telling.

So melting a hole through their heads will cause them to simply regenerate?

Fine. Soul-shredding it is.

Who said they have souls.....

All living things have a presence in the Warp. Thus, they can be targeted by psykers.

THEY TASTED NICE. I'D LIKE MORE!

Oh did you hear that, its the sound of them all regenerating in its stomach, oops it's stomach exploded.

Fuck it. I tried. What's their weakness?

Not telling....first i must destroy the town of happiness

btw how many buildings did you have, i think some may have been destroyed

I only had one huge building that was hundreds of kilometers tall. When you can't build out, build up.

Then again, it's not really a city of 'Happiness', either.

I think the armored one may have smashed that...sorry

why is that

Because.

Suddenly, cutenids.

Choose your next words with exceptional care.

hello

hello dalring, how are you today

that is one colorful tree darling, but you still didnt tel me how you are

I could be better.

oh why is that darling

You are tempting me with picts of mutant schola-children.

oh and how am i doing that darling

By

by doing what darling?

By posting images of

posting images of what darling

Heresy.

oh could you possibly be accusing me of heresy

THAT IS MINE.

ITS A TRAP

no, FOR THIS

you have steam and tf2?

Steam, Yes. TF2, sadly no.

awwww. add me

leaderofthewest
and i really like the war poetry thread we're having

War poetry? I was just writing random shit.

im trying to make it rhyme like a verse

leaderofthewest is also my steam name

Forgive me for the childish username of satchitbrazy666. I made it a couple of years back.

it says redguard

Awesomesauce. I'll be seeing you around, then.