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krasnogvardiech

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Consoles Owned: PC, PS2, Xbox 360.
Video Games Played: Too fucking many
X-box Gamertag: see profile name, capitalize fir
Interests: numerous
Date Signed Up:8/30/2012
Location:New Zealand
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#2471
Comment Ranking:#512
Highest Content Rank:#433
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Content Level Progress: 20.39% (102/500)
Level 211 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 212 Content: Comedic Genius
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Level 348 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:12
Content Views:868449
Times Content Favorited:1899 times
Total Comments Made:15237
FJ Points:20208
Favorite Tags: the (10) | warhammer (9) | of (7) | Not (6) | OC (6) | to (6) | it (5) | 40k (4) | emperor (4) | for (4) | a (3) | do (3) | gaming (3) | God (3) | in (3) | Life (3) | man (3) | You (3) | 4Chan (2) | and (2)
I agree, keeping with logic and common sense is normally a priority. The hills have eyes, y'know?
On the other hand, there is a point where reason is to be thrown to the curb. We have gone past that point and that is why I am here.

latest user's comments

#2 - Picture 05/11/2015 on Period +144
#1 - Thank you. 05/11/2015 on Ukraine comp part 39 +1
#12 - I won't claim to have any knowledge about the situation around…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/11/2015 on Why? +2
#20 - Absolute Madman (05/11/2015) [-]
Oh look another high minded proto fascist sack of shit....
Fuck off
#27 - Something gave me Fallout vibes about this. The old-world char… 05/11/2015 on Bar behind an old Coke Machine +1
#2335 - Sounds fukken nice, but it's an internet game. Thus, I can't p…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/11/2015 on krasnogvardiech's profile 0
#2336 - rageblade (05/12/2015) [-]
its called buy a better internet provider
#92 - They have some funny moments, yes. But they're still a damn fi… 05/11/2015 on Black Rage Overcame +1
#107 - Picture 05/10/2015 on Post yer current wallpaper 0
#106 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 05/10/2015 on Post yer current wallpaper 0
#107 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#105 - Picture  [+] (2 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Post yer current wallpaper 0
#106 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#107 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#104 - Picture  [+] (3 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Post yer current wallpaper 0
#105 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#106 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#107 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#103 - Picture  [+] (4 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Post yer current wallpaper 0
#104 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#105 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#106 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#107 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#18 - Even then, tactical missiles are comparatively cheap to produc… 05/10/2015 on Obama +1
#9 - That music in the end tho Could've been out of a porn…  [+] (3 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Besiege - An unnecessarily... +1
User avatar #49 - dawdawdwa (05/10/2015) [-]
the fuck kinda lame pornos do you watch faggot
#69 - Absolute Madman (05/10/2015) [-]
User avatar #62 - butterduck (05/10/2015) [-]
50's.
#8 - Being an Engineering professor is cheating.  [+] (6 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Besiege - An unnecessarily... +394
#53 - captaincapital (05/10/2015) [-]
User avatar #74 - lubricatedtaco (05/10/2015) [-]
Getting my degree in electrical engineering and this couldn't be more true.
#9 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
That music in the end tho

Could've been out of a porno.

Mm-mm-mm.
User avatar #49 - dawdawdwa (05/10/2015) [-]
the fuck kinda lame pornos do you watch faggot
#69 - Absolute Madman (05/10/2015) [-]
User avatar #62 - butterduck (05/10/2015) [-]
50's.
#15 - He's just a Slav, calm down. 05/10/2015 on 19 Days - Update part 6 0
#17 - Picture 05/10/2015 on the queen of filler 0
#6 - You can upload multiple images in one post, you know. 05/10/2015 on Rumbling in the Woods 0
#13 - I know, right? 05/10/2015 on Yuri of the Week +4
#71 - It might seem that way because there is, frankly speaking, a w…  [+] (2 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Black Rage Overcame +2
User avatar #84 - captainprincess (05/10/2015) [-]
Aren't the Cain books basically comedies though?
#92 - krasnogvardiech (05/11/2015) [-]
They have some funny moments, yes. But they're still a damn fine read.

Pictured is Cain, in the incident where he stared down a Handmaiden of Slaanesh. As always, he is terrified on the inside. mods pls no ban
#55 - They do take off the armor, back in their fortress monasteries…  [+] (4 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Black Rage Overcame +2
User avatar #60 - Monopolus (05/10/2015) [-]
I'd want to know if there's any sort of book series made by the creators of 40k, or is it all fan-created because of its tabletop nature?

It seems at first glance that there's no real chain of events, just 'OH SHIT HUMANITY LOOK OUT, SPACE GON KILL YA'LL'
#71 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
It might seem that way because there is, frankly speaking, a whole galaxy to cover, and only one method of faster-than-light transportation exists. It comprises of punching a hole in reality and traveling into the aforementioned very real hell, in which you pray that the machine projecting a field which protects your soul, brain and body from being feasted on by said very real deamons doesn't break down. And because this very real hell is a nonmaterial dimension where the laws of physics very nearly flat-out don't apply, praying that the machine doesn't break down will probably very likely ensure it indeed does not break down. This is called the Immaterium, the Empyrean, or the simplest colloquialization of it is simply the Warp.

Warp-based travel is risky at best. See above. One may find themselves arriving several hundred years before they left, or the journey having taken only three real-time minutes, but several long decades for everyone aboard the ship.

As for publications, look up Games Workshop's Black Library. Pick a series and start reading. I'd recommend the Gaunt's Ghosts and Ciaphas Cain series.

Pictured is a ship. The class and specifications elude me.
User avatar #84 - captainprincess (05/10/2015) [-]
Aren't the Cain books basically comedies though?
#92 - krasnogvardiech (05/11/2015) [-]
They have some funny moments, yes. But they're still a damn fine read.

Pictured is Cain, in the incident where he stared down a Handmaiden of Slaanesh. As always, he is terrified on the inside. mods pls no ban
#46 - I'll give you the brief rundown. Weapon and technology-based, …  [+] (6 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Black Rage Overcame +3
User avatar #50 - gameshredder (05/10/2015) [-]
How do space marines poop if they never take off the armor?
#55 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
They do take off the armor, back in their fortress monasteries when the Chapter hadn't been deployed. Even in armor though, the lore states that the suit's backpack has bio-recycling systems which convert excretion and urine into raw hydrocarbons, and convert them back into functional bio-nutrients or some shit like that. The suit is designed to go on as long inhumanly possible, even to the point of having a fission cell inside just to power the damn thing.
User avatar #60 - Monopolus (05/10/2015) [-]
I'd want to know if there's any sort of book series made by the creators of 40k, or is it all fan-created because of its tabletop nature?

It seems at first glance that there's no real chain of events, just 'OH SHIT HUMANITY LOOK OUT, SPACE GON KILL YA'LL'
#71 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
It might seem that way because there is, frankly speaking, a whole galaxy to cover, and only one method of faster-than-light transportation exists. It comprises of punching a hole in reality and traveling into the aforementioned very real hell, in which you pray that the machine projecting a field which protects your soul, brain and body from being feasted on by said very real deamons doesn't break down. And because this very real hell is a nonmaterial dimension where the laws of physics very nearly flat-out don't apply, praying that the machine doesn't break down will probably very likely ensure it indeed does not break down. This is called the Immaterium, the Empyrean, or the simplest colloquialization of it is simply the Warp.

Warp-based travel is risky at best. See above. One may find themselves arriving several hundred years before they left, or the journey having taken only three real-time minutes, but several long decades for everyone aboard the ship.

As for publications, look up Games Workshop's Black Library. Pick a series and start reading. I'd recommend the Gaunt's Ghosts and Ciaphas Cain series.

Pictured is a ship. The class and specifications elude me.
User avatar #84 - captainprincess (05/10/2015) [-]
Aren't the Cain books basically comedies though?
#92 - krasnogvardiech (05/11/2015) [-]
They have some funny moments, yes. But they're still a damn fine read.

Pictured is Cain, in the incident where he stared down a Handmaiden of Slaanesh. As always, he is terrified on the inside. mods pls no ban
#49 - Picture 05/10/2015 on Funnyjunk Comp 0
#48 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 05/10/2015 on Funnyjunk Comp 0
#49 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#47 - Picture  [+] (2 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Funnyjunk Comp 0
#48 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#49 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#46 - Picture  [+] (3 new replies) 05/10/2015 on Funnyjunk Comp 0
#47 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#48 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]
#49 - krasnogvardiech (05/10/2015) [-]

items

Total unique items point value: 170 / Total items point value: 790

Comments(2363):

krasnogvardiech has disabled anonymous comments.
[ 2363 comments ]
#2367 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
**falloutsurvivor used "*roll cah answer*"**
**falloutsurvivor rolls Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II.**
how badass is Kras
User avatar #2368 to #2367 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
**krasnogvardiech used "*roll cah answer*"**
**krasnogvardiech rolls Sunshine and rainbows.**

Damn straight. Now, how badass are you?
#2369 to #2368 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
so Kras is the new Tzar

and i burst into flame in the evil sun
#2370 to #2369 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
So I'm the leader of a new world superpower and you become a ******* Solar Exalted?

******** , absolute ******** .
#2371 to #2370 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
no no...i burst into flame aka burn to death
sunlight bad....very bad

#2372 to #2371 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
So you become a ******* Fire Elemental.

For ****** sake man, I'm trying to be comparable here.
#2373 to #2372 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
fine if youre trying to keep me alive ill be judge fire
#2374 to #2373 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
Sweet, you're appointed to be my new Minister of Law.

If judging and being fire is all you do may as well get paid for it. And hell, you're not corrupt like the other guy.
#2375 to #2374 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
Tsar Kras
User avatar #2378 to #2375 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
That's Tsar Nicholas II. Useless ******* cunt.
#2379 to #2378 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
wasnt it tsar peter who travelled the world gathering up as much knowledge from other countries for russia to learn from
User avatar #2376 to #2375 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
**** you

no ******* way am I being that incompetent *******

He got cucked by Rasputin for ****** sake

Piss off with that ******** .
#2377 to #2376 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
so you can be Tsar Piotr who helped russia move forwards
#2380 to #2377 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
Yes.

Fancy ************ , led the empire with science and steel. Nicholas was a faggot who spent all his time partying and jacking off.
#2381 to #2380 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
so Kras is tsar peter to revolutionize russia again

imagine russia more advanced than japan
User avatar #2382 to #2381 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
It is a good dream.
#2383 to #2382 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
russia might actually fulfil its 40K prediction of being the hub of a galactic empire

and the primarchs will be born in the urals
User avatar #2384 to #2383 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
Hell no, wasn't the Emperor's laboratory underneath the Himalayas?
#2385 to #2384 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
just checked....his lab was actually on the moon

though im sure the 40k novels said the urals
i hate how they keep retconning 40k
#2363 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
**falloutsurvivor used "*roll cah answer*"**
**falloutsurvivor rolls A crappy little hand.**
how gay is Kras
User avatar #2364 to #2363 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
boo

None of that.

Crash Bandcoot playan here. Thinking of a sauna tomorrow.
#2365 to #2364 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/29/2015) [-]
< kras moment
User avatar #2366 to #2365 - krasnogvardiech (05/29/2015) [-]
yaaaassssss
#2361 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/25/2015) [-]
**falloutsurvivor used "*roll cah answer*"**
**falloutsurvivor rolls Naruto headbands.**
what is kras superpower
#2360 - rageblade (05/25/2015) [-]
is the lazy bear awake?
#2354 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/24/2015) [-]
**falloutsurvivor buys Kras a russian havoc copter**
User avatar #2355 to #2354 - krasnogvardiech (05/24/2015) [-]
ffs kurze

i need to sleep

stop tempting me from it
#2356 to #2355 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/24/2015) [-]
wtf its only 10pm
you lazy blob
User avatar #2357 to #2356 - krasnogvardiech (05/24/2015) [-]
I need to get up for work tomorrow tho

and my alarms fail to wake me.
#2358 to #2357 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/24/2015) [-]
lazy bear does not wake easily
#2353 - rageblade (05/23/2015) [-]
i think we need to post fake porn of kras out in the fields with the sheep
#2351 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/22/2015) [-]
*sniffs*
i smell borscht
kras must have logged in
User avatar #2352 to #2351 - krasnogvardiech (05/23/2015) [-]
Playing Hellgate London. Wazup?
#2350 - rageblade (05/21/2015) [-]
that moment when kras met admin
https://youtube.com/devicesupport
#2347 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/16/2015) [-]
**falloutsurvivor used "*roll cah answer*"**
**falloutsurvivor rolls Flash flooding.**
what kinda tv show should we put kras in
#2349 to #2347 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/16/2015) [-]
great
kras brings his rasputitsa to new zealand
User avatar #2348 to #2347 - krasnogvardiech (05/16/2015) [-]
Nice, surfing.
#2341 - rageblade (05/15/2015) [-]
**rageblade used "*roll cah answer*"**
**rageblade rolls Hot Pockets©.**
what kind of girlfriend does kras need
#2343 to #2342 - rageblade (05/15/2015) [-]
what\you dont want a girl who will bring you food randomly through the day
User avatar #2344 to #2343 - krasnogvardiech (05/15/2015) [-]
That will interfere with my bringing her food randomly through the day though.
#2345 to #2344 - rageblade (05/15/2015) [-]
*prods Kras belly*
you'll feed each other to death
User avatar #2346 to #2345 - krasnogvardiech (05/16/2015) [-]
So romantic.
#2340 - rageblade (05/15/2015) [-]
> play rust
> walk near bear
> bear charges

goddam even in pc games, russians are edgy
#2339 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/13/2015) [-]
*pokes kras with a stick*
#2337 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/12/2015) [-]
Kras
stop buying alcohol and buy better internet
User avatar #2338 to #2337 - krasnogvardiech (05/12/2015) [-]
Maybe on Wednesday.
#2334 - rageblade (05/11/2015) [-]
Krassie
come join me in Rust

surely a little soviet farmer would like building his own house, hunting animals for food, and living off the land
User avatar #2335 to #2334 - krasnogvardiech (05/11/2015) [-]
Sounds fukken nice, but it's an internet game. Thus, I can't play it. Connection 2 **** .
#2336 to #2335 - rageblade (05/12/2015) [-]
its called buy a better internet provider
#2333 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
*jumps onto Kras' back*
onwards noble steed

URAAAAAAAA
#2332 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
and thats how Kras gets the girls

#2315 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
I am heavy weapons Krasnogvardiech
and this is maya malushka
User avatar #2316 to #2315 - krasnogvardiech (05/09/2015) [-]
Not enough bear hands in employ. You need to kill a bear and take its hands with your bare hands for them to be bear hands.
#2319 to #2318 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
not true

you dont have right to whole bear

motherland IS whole bear
#2321 to #2320 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
....then theres your country ukraine

#2322 to #2321 - krasnogvardiech (05/09/2015) [-]
Such is life in the zone.
#2323 to #2322 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
STALKER

Soviet Tragedy Always Leaves Kras Eating Rubbish
#2324 to #2323 - krasnogvardiech (05/09/2015) [-]
Food is rubbish, but we make do.
#2325 to #2324 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
but remember

at least you aint american

half their food is synthetic
#2326 to #2325 - krasnogvardiech (05/09/2015) [-]
не моя проблема
#2327 to #2326 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
yeah in new zealand
food is okay.....the water is ****
#2328 to #2327 - krasnogvardiech (05/09/2015) [-]
Only in big cities.

Go to Queenstown or another mountain-lake city. Water is ******* purest **** ever.
#2329 to #2328 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
dont they fluoridate all water in new zealand

aka **** in it
User avatar #2330 to #2329 - krasnogvardiech (05/09/2015) [-]
Yep. But to be fair, that's only past all the farms, factories, meat processing plants, chemical plants... you see what I mean?

Mountain water is drinkable straight from the lake, even if ducks and fish **** in it.

Mountain water fresh from completely pure lakes? Bruh come on the refractory period ain't even over yet.
#2331 to #2330 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/09/2015) [-]
where do you live
#2312 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/08/2015) [-]
*puts Kras in a meat grinder and makes bear pie*
User avatar #2313 to #2312 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
But then how will I ******** ?
#2314 to #2313 - falloutsurvivor ONLINE (05/08/2015) [-]
idk but i think a kras bear / vodka / borscht pie might make me **** myself

so theres some ****
#2282 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
for mother russia
for mother russia
#2303 to #2282 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
/tg/ don't give a single **** about hating anything outside the various editions of 40k. Here's a taster.
#2304 to #2303 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
i will give it a try. but later.

play with me
User avatar #2305 to #2304 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Link to game?

They're various stories I collected over the years. To hell with it, I'll put it up as content.
User avatar #2306 to #2305 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
agar.io/


lets play with russian server
User avatar #2307 to #2306 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Fukken sweet. ******** as it may be, tho, I have to head out for the night.

Goodbye, Stalker.
User avatar #2309 to #2307 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
or morning
User avatar #2308 to #2307 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
good night
#2283 to #2282 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
You know it. remove ******** tho

#2284 to #2283 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
russians are weebs by themselves

what are you defect thing or something?
#2285 to #2284 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Nyet

just not a serf
User avatar #2286 to #2285 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
***** WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN NZ?
User avatar #2287 to #2286 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Chillin'. ****** nice down here.
User avatar #2288 to #2287 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
you leave near konrad?
User avatar #2289 to #2288 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Not far if you count an ocean and nearly the entire length of the country as pretty close .

So in short, nah mate.
#2290 to #2289 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
>TFW NZ kiwi fruit
#2291 to #2290 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Gotta admit, it's pretty good.
User avatar #2292 to #2291 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
indeed.

unlike the Italian kiwis they suck!
#2293 to #2292 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Why? I've not had them so I have to ask.
User avatar #2294 to #2293 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
can we have kiwis as pets
User avatar #2295 to #2294 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Considering they're nocturnal, finicky as hell about their habitation, legally impossible to get a hold of and have their eggs eaten by ******* possums, I'd say no.

Doable, but not feasible. Why, you like 'em?
User avatar #2296 to #2295 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
they look adorable

i once had a chicken as a pet but then we feasted on it.
User avatar #2297 to #2296 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
They're tiny. Those leaves in the above picture are as big as your hand from base of palm to fingertip.
User avatar #2298 to #2297 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
well. i dont think they can handle this ****** weather in kuwait
User avatar #2299 to #2298 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Dense forests are where they're best. Free of night-time land predators.
User avatar #2300 to #2299 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
>brings kiwis to kuwait
>kiwis evaporates
User avatar #2301 to #2300 - krasnogvardiech (05/08/2015) [-]
Lel, prolly.

Are you by chance a fan of /tg/ stories? My collection is... extensive.
User avatar #2302 to #2301 - syrianassassinsoul (05/08/2015) [-]
nien

i dont go to hate chans much.
[ 2363 comments ]
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