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krasnogvardiech    

Rank #306 on Comments
krasnogvardiech Avatar Level 331 Comments: Practically Famous
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Last status update:
Short on money. Internet was one of the first things to go.comment
Personal Info
Gender: male
Consoles Owned: Xbox 360
Video Games Played: Mass Effect (series), Halo 4, Metro: Last Light, Farcry 3, Deadpool: the game, Borderlands 2, Singularity, Darksiders 2, probably other ones that I've forgot right about now.
X-box Gamertag: Krasnogvardiech
Interests: Warhammer 40k, Aviation, Mechanical engineering, Physics, Writing fiction, Firearms, Automobiles, Aircraft, Gaming, Reading, various other things.
Date Signed Up:8/30/2012
Location:New Zealand
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#1059
Comment Ranking:#306
Highest Content Rank:#433
Highest Comment Rank:#113
Content Thumbs: 12718 total,  14469 ,  1751
Comment Thumbs: 33255 total,  36507 ,  3252
Content Level Progress: 49% (49/100)
Level 206 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 207 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 8.69% (87/1000)
Level 331 Comments: Practically Famous → Level 332 Comments: Practically Famous
Subscribers:8
Content Views:766611
Times Content Favorited:1580 times
Total Comments Made:10155
FJ Points:2186
Favorite Tags: warhammer (9) | the (7) | Not (6) | OC (6) | of (5) | to (5) | 40k (3) | a (3) | emperor (3) | for (3) | Life (3) | 4Chan (2) | bat (2) | creed (2) | Deviantart (2) | fantasy (2) | gaming (2) | God (2) | god emperor (2) | humanity (2)
I'm fucked in the head. That's about all there is to say.

latest user's comments

#19 - Alright. Don't get too wasted. 07/19/2014 on XXXbox +3
#16 - **krasnogvardiech rolled user aazz **  [+] (8 new replies) 07/19/2014 on XXXbox +14
User avatar #23 - shadowsynergy (07/19/2014) [-]
I hit the turn off screen button which instantly silences the call...
Because Slaneesh.
User avatar #53 - wizardbaker (07/19/2014) [-]
Absolutely heretical.
#24 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
You are literally a faggot. Why would you be the boytoy of a Chaos God when you can conquer planets and lay entire hives' worth of wenches in this glorious bastard's name.
User avatar #25 - shadowsynergy (07/19/2014) [-]
Because glorious daemonette girl-cock.
#26 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
As I said, literally a faggot.
#18 - denizius (07/19/2014) [-]
Sup dad. Im going to this party and hope to meet some new friends, gonna be late.
#19 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Alright. Don't get too wasted.
#17 - denizius has deleted their comment.
#15 - Don't interrupt. 07/19/2014 on XXXbox +4
#13 - Then it was as He had saw, For His vision came to be. The cham…  [+] (2 new replies) 07/19/2014 on XXXbox +9
#159 - anonymous (07/19/2014) [-]
tl;dr
#42 - darkjack (07/19/2014) [-]
i dont like the SoB much, other then that i liked the story
#12 - When the children truly saw him, Their faces all turned bright…  [+] (5 new replies) 07/19/2014 on XXXbox +8
#14 - bongoclock (07/19/2014) [-]
This was absolutely beautiful.
User avatar #15 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Don't interrupt.
#13 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Then it was as He had saw, For His vision came to be. The chamber door burst open To reveal the enemy.
For the vision He recalled And knew it to be true. This young girl would soon die and there was nothing He could do.
For in, then, came the monster, That would strike the angel down, And carve from her an offering to place upon his crown.
The children began to wail, Some sought to run or hide, While others could not move And only stared and cried.
But between them and the monster, The blessed sister stood and fought there to protect them as any mother would.
Yet, the monster was too much And she fell down to her knees, the monster raised his axe deaf to all the children’s pleas.
Then the Emperor spoke And sparked fire in her heart. She thrust forward with her chainsword And rent its chest apart.
Even as she struck, and ended the great strife, The daemon axe came down And stole away her life.
The Emperor knelt beside and cradled the martyred daughter, knowing she had stopped what would have of been a slaughter.
Then rushed in the instructors, And defenders to the scene, Of the Emperor and His daughter, So silent and serene.
The Emperor told the story, Of what there had transpired, And not one could stand to hide, The emotion she inspired.
Away the two disappeared, And not a word was uttered, Until loud cries from the courtyard said, "A miracle's occurred!"
For there amidst the carnage, A statue of marble stood, From where or when it had come no one there understood.
For the statue was the Emperor, So grand and finely crafted, His hands upon the shoulders of the sister He had raptured.
Her face was poise and beautiful Free of flaw or blemish, So perfect that they all agreed, She had never suffered anguish.
For every Emperor's Day after The schola would gather for prayer, Around the perfect statue, That the Emperor placed there.

And there beneath their feet, Forever carved in stone, "Always I am at your side, You'll never stand alone."
#159 - anonymous (07/19/2014) [-]
tl;dr
#42 - darkjack (07/19/2014) [-]
i dont like the SoB much, other then that i liked the story
#11 - T'was Emperor's Day, long past, Or so the story goes, And the …  [+] (6 new replies) 07/19/2014 on XXXbox +9
#12 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
When the children truly saw him, Their faces all turned bright, and quickly was forgotten, The terrors of the night.
A trusty wooden lasgun, To a young Storm Trooper boy who thought of all the Xenos
He would slay with his new toy.
And to a future Commissar He gave a golden sash,For he would grow to lead his men with cunning, dare, and dash.
And to a little Sister, He gave a stuffed silk skull. For to His honor would be pledged All the traitors she would cull.
Then there among their number was one unlike the rest. She minded all the children,
like a hen within a nest.
Her soul was fine and wholesome, Her faith was strong and pure, Her whole life she had given Unto the Emperor.
She was the oldest of them, Though, truly, not by much. She simply was their sister
And was treated just as such.
Her training was just finished, her time there was now spent, She only awaited orders to join her new Convent.
She was every bit a blossom That still had yet to bloom, When then He did remember that He had seen her doom.
The Emperor held her tight, For His sorrow was so great and He showed her the near future that was to be her fate.
Then softly he did speak, So gently to her ears,To grant her one last present To lessen all her fears.
"What gift may I offer Or what thanks can I give, To one about to die, So that others still may live?"
The girl began to weep but her face, it was not grim. She smiled just like an angel as she explained to him:
"To die for the defenceless, To succeed at my last task, To stand here with my Emperor, For what more could I ask?"
#14 - bongoclock (07/19/2014) [-]
This was absolutely beautiful.
User avatar #15 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Don't interrupt.
#13 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Then it was as He had saw, For His vision came to be. The chamber door burst open To reveal the enemy.
For the vision He recalled And knew it to be true. This young girl would soon die and there was nothing He could do.
For in, then, came the monster, That would strike the angel down, And carve from her an offering to place upon his crown.
The children began to wail, Some sought to run or hide, While others could not move And only stared and cried.
But between them and the monster, The blessed sister stood and fought there to protect them as any mother would.
Yet, the monster was too much And she fell down to her knees, the monster raised his axe deaf to all the children’s pleas.
Then the Emperor spoke And sparked fire in her heart. She thrust forward with her chainsword And rent its chest apart.
Even as she struck, and ended the great strife, The daemon axe came down And stole away her life.
The Emperor knelt beside and cradled the martyred daughter, knowing she had stopped what would have of been a slaughter.
Then rushed in the instructors, And defenders to the scene, Of the Emperor and His daughter, So silent and serene.
The Emperor told the story, Of what there had transpired, And not one could stand to hide, The emotion she inspired.
Away the two disappeared, And not a word was uttered, Until loud cries from the courtyard said, "A miracle's occurred!"
For there amidst the carnage, A statue of marble stood, From where or when it had come no one there understood.
For the statue was the Emperor, So grand and finely crafted, His hands upon the shoulders of the sister He had raptured.
Her face was poise and beautiful Free of flaw or blemish, So perfect that they all agreed, She had never suffered anguish.
For every Emperor's Day after The schola would gather for prayer, Around the perfect statue, That the Emperor placed there.

And there beneath their feet, Forever carved in stone, "Always I am at your side, You'll never stand alone."
#159 - anonymous (07/19/2014) [-]
tl;dr
#42 - darkjack (07/19/2014) [-]
i dont like the SoB much, other then that i liked the story
#10 - What the hell. Sit down, I'll tell you an Emperor's Day story.  [+] (7 new replies) 07/19/2014 on XXXbox +2
#11 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
T'was Emperor's Day, long past, Or so the story goes, And the Emperor took the journey That every child knows.
When suddenly He was struck, By a vision dark and grim, Of subjects in grave, danger, In prayer, beseeching Him.
But clearest seen by far, To fall upon His gaze, A girl, so pure and bright, She shined through all the haze.
She knelt before a giant, Its manner cold and dread, And held it a great axe, It brought down upon her head.
The Emperor broke the trance, And declared "It shan't be so.". Then through the Warp He travelled, To stop the killing blow.
He quickly found the world from where the vision came, And went to join his subjects
who fought on in his name.
Where upon He found a Schola under siege, Full of faithful fighting and praying to their liege.
Though he searched the schola, The girl could not be sought. "Perhaps, I'm merely early," The noble Emperor thought.
When through the din of battle, He heard the mournful cry, Of children sadly weeping,
In fear that they may die.
The Emperor went to join them, And with a joyful call, He proclaimed his many presents, To give to one and all.
#12 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
When the children truly saw him, Their faces all turned bright, and quickly was forgotten, The terrors of the night.
A trusty wooden lasgun, To a young Storm Trooper boy who thought of all the Xenos
He would slay with his new toy.
And to a future Commissar He gave a golden sash,For he would grow to lead his men with cunning, dare, and dash.
And to a little Sister, He gave a stuffed silk skull. For to His honor would be pledged All the traitors she would cull.
Then there among their number was one unlike the rest. She minded all the children,
like a hen within a nest.
Her soul was fine and wholesome, Her faith was strong and pure, Her whole life she had given Unto the Emperor.
She was the oldest of them, Though, truly, not by much. She simply was their sister
And was treated just as such.
Her training was just finished, her time there was now spent, She only awaited orders to join her new Convent.
She was every bit a blossom That still had yet to bloom, When then He did remember that He had seen her doom.
The Emperor held her tight, For His sorrow was so great and He showed her the near future that was to be her fate.
Then softly he did speak, So gently to her ears,To grant her one last present To lessen all her fears.
"What gift may I offer Or what thanks can I give, To one about to die, So that others still may live?"
The girl began to weep but her face, it was not grim. She smiled just like an angel as she explained to him:
"To die for the defenceless, To succeed at my last task, To stand here with my Emperor, For what more could I ask?"
#14 - bongoclock (07/19/2014) [-]
This was absolutely beautiful.
User avatar #15 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Don't interrupt.
#13 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Then it was as He had saw, For His vision came to be. The chamber door burst open To reveal the enemy.
For the vision He recalled And knew it to be true. This young girl would soon die and there was nothing He could do.
For in, then, came the monster, That would strike the angel down, And carve from her an offering to place upon his crown.
The children began to wail, Some sought to run or hide, While others could not move And only stared and cried.
But between them and the monster, The blessed sister stood and fought there to protect them as any mother would.
Yet, the monster was too much And she fell down to her knees, the monster raised his axe deaf to all the children’s pleas.
Then the Emperor spoke And sparked fire in her heart. She thrust forward with her chainsword And rent its chest apart.
Even as she struck, and ended the great strife, The daemon axe came down And stole away her life.
The Emperor knelt beside and cradled the martyred daughter, knowing she had stopped what would have of been a slaughter.
Then rushed in the instructors, And defenders to the scene, Of the Emperor and His daughter, So silent and serene.
The Emperor told the story, Of what there had transpired, And not one could stand to hide, The emotion she inspired.
Away the two disappeared, And not a word was uttered, Until loud cries from the courtyard said, "A miracle's occurred!"
For there amidst the carnage, A statue of marble stood, From where or when it had come no one there understood.
For the statue was the Emperor, So grand and finely crafted, His hands upon the shoulders of the sister He had raptured.
Her face was poise and beautiful Free of flaw or blemish, So perfect that they all agreed, She had never suffered anguish.
For every Emperor's Day after The schola would gather for prayer, Around the perfect statue, That the Emperor placed there.

And there beneath their feet, Forever carved in stone, "Always I am at your side, You'll never stand alone."
#159 - anonymous (07/19/2014) [-]
tl;dr
#42 - darkjack (07/19/2014) [-]
i dont like the SoB much, other then that i liked the story
#1653 - Not first by a long shot, and if that was an attempt to flirt,…  [+] (2 new replies) 07/19/2014 on krasnogvardiech's profile 0
User avatar #1654 - nought (07/19/2014) [-]
wat u talkin bout
FIRT FIRT FIRT FIRT FIRT FIRT
#1655 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
#15 - Picture 07/19/2014 on Favorite vegetable? 0
#20 - Also, the general reaction. 07/19/2014 on You Make A Valid Point,... +18
#19 - Always relevant.  [+] (2 new replies) 07/19/2014 on You Make A Valid Point,... +39
User avatar #32 - aldothenazi (07/19/2014) [-]
This is better than the content imo.
#20 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Also, the general reaction.
#6 - Relevant. Slightly.  [+] (7 new replies) 07/19/2014 on Crazy Facebook Mom +48
#35 - supercookieduster (07/19/2014) [-]
oh yes
User avatar #32 - dubslao (07/19/2014) [-]
can someone explain the "she came back with her stomach looking like a wet raisin" part?
User avatar #33 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Abortion or miscarriage, and stretch marks.
User avatar #30 - tsoper (07/19/2014) [-]
BITCHES GOT REKT
User avatar #24 - altairibnlaahad (07/19/2014) [-]
So Old but my satisfaction never goes down after reading it.
#21 - thereasonableperso (07/19/2014) [-]
God I love this post.
User avatar #9 - sociocat (07/19/2014) [-]
relevant or not its awsome
#54 - I do beg your damn pardon. 07/19/2014 on dammit 0
#22 - **krasnogvardiech rolled user supertanto ** 07/19/2014 on Tumblr users +4
#61 - Forgot the damn pic. 07/19/2014 on One way round trip! +1
#59 - I agree, Ukraine is hell.  [+] (2 new replies) 07/19/2014 on One way round trip! +4
#61 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Forgot the damn pic.
User avatar #60 - reican (07/19/2014) [-]
Cheki breeki
#66 - None of the outside world knew of this beforehand. Literally n…  [+] (2 new replies) 07/19/2014 on Contain Your Laughter +2
#67 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Well without us bread, you'd probably be dead by now.

Don't forget to thank me and my follow bread.


Eat the bread, we want it.
#80 - norkas (07/19/2014) [-]
#63 - Well, good fucking job holding out on that information. Theori…  [+] (4 new replies) 07/19/2014 on Contain Your Laughter +3
#64 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Wouldn't you know this?
Without bread and it's religion, humans would no be able to co-exist with eachother, and us bread uneaten and brought to the bread afterlife.
#66 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
None of the outside world knew of this beforehand. Literally nobody.

I fart in your general direction and take my bread. Good day.
#67 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Well without us bread, you'd probably be dead by now.

Don't forget to thank me and my follow bread.


Eat the bread, we want it.
#80 - norkas (07/19/2014) [-]
#61 - Is the power worth the risk of death by carbon and gold poison…  [+] (6 new replies) 07/19/2014 on Contain Your Laughter +2
#62 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
You dense motherfucker, do you not realize the bread is blessed by the gods, therefore magical and safe to eat?
#63 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Well, good fucking job holding out on that information. Theories fit facts, not the other way around. At which point were you planning on telling me that the bread was safe to eat due to the bread gods' reality-fucking?
#64 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Wouldn't you know this?
Without bread and it's religion, humans would no be able to co-exist with eachother, and us bread uneaten and brought to the bread afterlife.
#66 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
None of the outside world knew of this beforehand. Literally nobody.

I fart in your general direction and take my bread. Good day.
#67 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Well without us bread, you'd probably be dead by now.

Don't forget to thank me and my follow bread.


Eat the bread, we want it.
#80 - norkas (07/19/2014) [-]
#58 - Great tasting bread is made by good materials and good machine…  [+] (8 new replies) 07/19/2014 on Contain Your Laughter +3
#59 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
But the power is the secret of best bread.
#61 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Is the power worth the risk of death by carbon and gold poisoning? To say nothing of the option where you indeed can't digest the materiel.
#62 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
You dense motherfucker, do you not realize the bread is blessed by the gods, therefore magical and safe to eat?
#63 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Well, good fucking job holding out on that information. Theories fit facts, not the other way around. At which point were you planning on telling me that the bread was safe to eat due to the bread gods' reality-fucking?
#64 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Wouldn't you know this?
Without bread and it's religion, humans would no be able to co-exist with eachother, and us bread uneaten and brought to the bread afterlife.
#66 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
None of the outside world knew of this beforehand. Literally nobody.

I fart in your general direction and take my bread. Good day.
#67 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Well without us bread, you'd probably be dead by now.

Don't forget to thank me and my follow bread.


Eat the bread, we want it.
#80 - norkas (07/19/2014) [-]
#55 - Because your gods are being stupid and I'm trying to fix that.…  [+] (10 new replies) 07/19/2014 on Contain Your Laughter +3
#57 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
But eating it will give you blessed powers, granted by the bread gods.

The power of great tasting bread.
#58 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Great tasting bread is made by good materials and good machines to assist in the creation of it.

Putting potentially toxic material in the bread has the potential to kill people.

Gold and Diamonds are in no way edible, except for some versions of the former.

The powers are outweighed by the risks posed in eating the bread. All those who eat your shitty gold bread want the powers gained, not the benefit of well made and good tasting bread.
#59 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
But the power is the secret of best bread.
#61 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Is the power worth the risk of death by carbon and gold poisoning? To say nothing of the option where you indeed can't digest the materiel.
#62 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
You dense motherfucker, do you not realize the bread is blessed by the gods, therefore magical and safe to eat?
#63 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Well, good fucking job holding out on that information. Theories fit facts, not the other way around. At which point were you planning on telling me that the bread was safe to eat due to the bread gods' reality-fucking?
#64 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Wouldn't you know this?
Without bread and it's religion, humans would no be able to co-exist with eachother, and us bread uneaten and brought to the bread afterlife.
#66 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
None of the outside world knew of this beforehand. Literally nobody.

I fart in your general direction and take my bread. Good day.
#67 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Well without us bread, you'd probably be dead by now.

Don't forget to thank me and my follow bread.


Eat the bread, we want it.
#80 - norkas (07/19/2014) [-]
#52 - You complete and utter fuckwit. Diamond powder is in…  [+] (12 new replies) 07/19/2014 on Contain Your Laughter +3
#53 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Hey man, I'm not the one that tells people to do this, it's the bread gods.

Why you gotta insult my religion?
#55 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Because your gods are being stupid and I'm trying to fix that. Do they want so much bullshit and idolatry, or do they want their subjects to be practical and get the fuck on with life, blessed by superior bread?
#57 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
But eating it will give you blessed powers, granted by the bread gods.

The power of great tasting bread.
#58 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Great tasting bread is made by good materials and good machines to assist in the creation of it.

Putting potentially toxic material in the bread has the potential to kill people.

Gold and Diamonds are in no way edible, except for some versions of the former.

The powers are outweighed by the risks posed in eating the bread. All those who eat your shitty gold bread want the powers gained, not the benefit of well made and good tasting bread.
#59 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
But the power is the secret of best bread.
#61 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Is the power worth the risk of death by carbon and gold poisoning? To say nothing of the option where you indeed can't digest the materiel.
#62 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
You dense motherfucker, do you not realize the bread is blessed by the gods, therefore magical and safe to eat?
#63 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Well, good fucking job holding out on that information. Theories fit facts, not the other way around. At which point were you planning on telling me that the bread was safe to eat due to the bread gods' reality-fucking?
#64 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Wouldn't you know this?
Without bread and it's religion, humans would no be able to co-exist with eachother, and us bread uneaten and brought to the bread afterlife.
#66 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
None of the outside world knew of this beforehand. Literally nobody.

I fart in your general direction and take my bread. Good day.
#67 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Well without us bread, you'd probably be dead by now.

Don't forget to thank me and my follow bread.


Eat the bread, we want it.
#80 - norkas (07/19/2014) [-]
#50 - The fuck you doing? Waste of gold. Bread is bread and gold is …  [+] (14 new replies) 07/19/2014 on Contain Your Laughter +3
#51 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Gold bread is part of the famous bread ceremony for us religious bread followers.

We make a sandwich out of gold bread and diamond meat to initiate a follower.
#52 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
You complete and utter fuckwit.

Diamond powder is intensely hard and difficult to digest by the human system, and in the event it was digestible it may lead to carbon poisoning. Likewise with the gold. By doing this, you put bad shit in bread and make it shit bread.

Why not do the sensible thing and sell off the diamond and gold to get really, really good bread-making gear and make fucking awesome bread?
#53 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Hey man, I'm not the one that tells people to do this, it's the bread gods.

Why you gotta insult my religion?
#55 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Because your gods are being stupid and I'm trying to fix that. Do they want so much bullshit and idolatry, or do they want their subjects to be practical and get the fuck on with life, blessed by superior bread?
#57 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
But eating it will give you blessed powers, granted by the bread gods.

The power of great tasting bread.
#58 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Great tasting bread is made by good materials and good machines to assist in the creation of it.

Putting potentially toxic material in the bread has the potential to kill people.

Gold and Diamonds are in no way edible, except for some versions of the former.

The powers are outweighed by the risks posed in eating the bread. All those who eat your shitty gold bread want the powers gained, not the benefit of well made and good tasting bread.
#59 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
But the power is the secret of best bread.
#61 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Is the power worth the risk of death by carbon and gold poisoning? To say nothing of the option where you indeed can't digest the materiel.
#62 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
You dense motherfucker, do you not realize the bread is blessed by the gods, therefore magical and safe to eat?
#63 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Well, good fucking job holding out on that information. Theories fit facts, not the other way around. At which point were you planning on telling me that the bread was safe to eat due to the bread gods' reality-fucking?
#64 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Wouldn't you know this?
Without bread and it's religion, humans would no be able to co-exist with eachother, and us bread uneaten and brought to the bread afterlife.
#66 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
None of the outside world knew of this beforehand. Literally nobody.

I fart in your general direction and take my bread. Good day.
#67 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Well without us bread, you'd probably be dead by now.

Don't forget to thank me and my follow bread.


Eat the bread, we want it.
#80 - norkas (07/19/2014) [-]
#48 - Because bread is a legitimate topic with much science involved…  [+] (16 new replies) 07/19/2014 on Contain Your Laughter +10
#49 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Gold bread for you
#50 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
The fuck you doing? Waste of gold. Bread is bread and gold is gold. You been smoking bath salts or something?

Wait, I can probably buy a lot of bread by selling off the gold. Nevermind, you did a good thing.
#51 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Gold bread is part of the famous bread ceremony for us religious bread followers.

We make a sandwich out of gold bread and diamond meat to initiate a follower.
#52 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
You complete and utter fuckwit.

Diamond powder is intensely hard and difficult to digest by the human system, and in the event it was digestible it may lead to carbon poisoning. Likewise with the gold. By doing this, you put bad shit in bread and make it shit bread.

Why not do the sensible thing and sell off the diamond and gold to get really, really good bread-making gear and make fucking awesome bread?
#53 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Hey man, I'm not the one that tells people to do this, it's the bread gods.

Why you gotta insult my religion?
#55 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Because your gods are being stupid and I'm trying to fix that. Do they want so much bullshit and idolatry, or do they want their subjects to be practical and get the fuck on with life, blessed by superior bread?
#57 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
But eating it will give you blessed powers, granted by the bread gods.

The power of great tasting bread.
#58 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Great tasting bread is made by good materials and good machines to assist in the creation of it.

Putting potentially toxic material in the bread has the potential to kill people.

Gold and Diamonds are in no way edible, except for some versions of the former.

The powers are outweighed by the risks posed in eating the bread. All those who eat your shitty gold bread want the powers gained, not the benefit of well made and good tasting bread.
#59 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
But the power is the secret of best bread.
#61 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Is the power worth the risk of death by carbon and gold poisoning? To say nothing of the option where you indeed can't digest the materiel.
#62 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
You dense motherfucker, do you not realize the bread is blessed by the gods, therefore magical and safe to eat?
#63 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Well, good fucking job holding out on that information. Theories fit facts, not the other way around. At which point were you planning on telling me that the bread was safe to eat due to the bread gods' reality-fucking?
#64 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Wouldn't you know this?
Without bread and it's religion, humans would no be able to co-exist with eachother, and us bread uneaten and brought to the bread afterlife.
#66 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
None of the outside world knew of this beforehand. Literally nobody.

I fart in your general direction and take my bread. Good day.
#67 - breadposter (07/19/2014) [-]
Well without us bread, you'd probably be dead by now.

Don't forget to thank me and my follow bread.


Eat the bread, we want it.
#80 - norkas (07/19/2014) [-]
#62 - Picture 07/18/2014 on You really are +12
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#1662 - matexius (07/26/2014) [-]
Was bored...found this...
Was bored...found this...
User avatar #1663 to #1662 - krasnogvardiech (07/28/2014) [-]
Stop, my penis can only get so erect.
User avatar #1664 to #1663 - matexius (07/28/2014) [-]
...I have no idea how to react to that...

Also...what is your opinion on the addition of these webm.s?
User avatar #1665 to #1664 - krasnogvardiech (07/28/2014) [-]
NSFW can only get better, while the main section of the site still hates videos. I don't know what to think.
User avatar #1667 to #1665 - matexius (07/28/2014) [-]
Also...I hope you don't mind that I'm a bit more...let's say actve... The Belarussian girl that's the closest thing that I've ever had to a GF left for Russia for 4 weeks...and I'm bored halfway to the Imperial Palace and back...
User avatar #1668 to #1667 - krasnogvardiech (07/28/2014) [-]
All good. You'll have to watch for me being less active, though, as I have a thing called a job.
User avatar #1669 to #1668 - matexius (07/28/2014) [-]
I know, I know... What can you do? Money rules the world...
Have you ever like, had a GF even?
User avatar #1666 to #1665 - matexius (07/28/2014) [-]
Quite... 4chan already had them, right?
A former schoolmate said they'd be good to add... I was sceptical...
User avatar #1661 - languagexplain (07/25/2014) [-]
Please stop engaging the shitposter on the TG board. He needs to not get any attention. At all. kthx.
User avatar #1660 - matexius (07/24/2014) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLhC2eTkVCM

Something tells me you've heard this one...
#1657 - matexius (07/22/2014) [-]
Hey Krasno...
Would you happen to know of an energy source, that is small, yet efficient and could power a man sized mechanical exoskeleton, kinda like this one?

I'm planning on maybe starting something like it and I'm trying to find an energy source... I know it's probably futile, but hey... Why not?
My father says I should be less on the computer, so... I need to find ways to entertain myself... friend suggested this...
I know it's way out of my field of experties and education, but I want to show those Japs that they're not the only ones who can build one... Gonna cost a lot though...
User avatar #1658 to #1657 - krasnogvardiech (07/22/2014) [-]
No fucking clue. Tried making a tiny nuclear reactor?
User avatar #1659 to #1658 - matexius (07/22/2014) [-]
... Right...
I'm fairly sure a tiny nuclear reactor could horribly backfire... and there are things even I can't get my hands on... i was thinking something like a small tesla coil, connected to a divider where one part is then in turn connected back into the coil and another to the suit... just a spark to fire it up... probably wouldn't work, though...
Still thank you for your time...
User avatar #1656 - konradkurze (07/20/2014) [-]
trolling people the Kras way

Friends Joseph Stalin
User avatar #1652 - nought (07/19/2014) [-]
firt
User avatar #1653 to #1652 - krasnogvardiech (07/19/2014) [-]
Not first by a long shot, and if that was an attempt to flirt, it went over my head.

What's up?
User avatar #1654 to #1653 - nought (07/19/2014) [-]
wat u talkin bout
FIRT FIRT FIRT FIRT FIRT FIRT
User avatar #1647 - konradkurze (07/16/2014) [-]
Whatever Gets Us Drunk the Fastest | Metalpocalypse | Adult Swim
#1649 to #1648 - konradkurze (07/16/2014) [-]
< people who tried to fuck with Kras' alcohol
#1650 to #1649 - krasnogvardiech (07/16/2014) [-]
More accurately tho.
#1651 to #1650 - konradkurze (07/16/2014) [-]
reminds me of when i do online gaming
#1645 - konradkurze (07/15/2014) [-]
Kras on a friday night
User avatar #1644 - konradkurze (07/15/2014) [-]
Enemy at the Gates (1/9) Movie CLIP - Crossing the Volga (2001) HD
User avatar #1643 - konradkurze (07/15/2014) [-]
Enemy at the Gates (2/9) Movie CLIP - Battle of Stalingrad (2001) HD
User avatar #1636 - konradkurze (07/09/2014) [-]
*fills the black sea with hops and barley to brew it into beer and throws Kras in*
User avatar #1637 to #1636 - krasnogvardiech (07/09/2014) [-]
The fuck would you do that for? The sea is already there, that'd just be mixing the two types of liquid. All the booze'd up water would flood the seaside areas of Ukraine and Russia and the like. That would drown several million people.

On the other hand, go for it.
User avatar #1638 to #1637 - konradkurze (07/09/2014) [-]
drown the ukrainians in booze?
is that even possible...they dont work, all they do is eat sleep and drink.....eternal booze would be their heaven
User avatar #1639 to #1638 - krasnogvardiech (07/09/2014) [-]
>ukrainians
>don't work

Nigga please
User avatar #1640 to #1639 - konradkurze (07/09/2014) [-]
the hardest Ukrainians work is to steal russian gas
User avatar #1641 to #1640 - krasnogvardiech (07/10/2014) [-]
If all goes well there'll be no Ukraine. No Afghanistan or Mongolia or even Poland. There will only be Great Russia once again.
User avatar #1635 - konradkurze (07/07/2014) [-]
the Kras life

Whatever Gets Us Drunk the Fastest | Metalpocalypse | Adult Swim
User avatar #1632 - konradkurze (07/05/2014) [-]
Rus Tank T-34 & T-80 Red Square Moscow May 2005 60Th Anniversary Of Victory In WwII Russian Tanks
#1622 - konradkurze (07/02/2014) [-]
shopping with Kras
#1627 to #1622 - syrianassassin ONLINE (07/04/2014) [-]
you and krasnogvardiech knew each other?

why i did not know!
#1631 to #1630 - syrianassassin ONLINE (07/04/2014) [-]
the cleverfag in drama board posted jew propaganda there, i countered his shit and called ben garrision is false


what a gigantic bigot
User avatar #1624 to #1623 - konradkurze (07/02/2014) [-]
come on Kras

normal people put meat and veggies in soup....you just mix booze to combine the flavors
#1625 to #1624 - krasnogvardiech (07/02/2014) [-]
I might be to alcohol what Anakin Skywalker is to midichlorians, but I still need physical substance to repair this sack of flesh and bone that I shamble about in.

Fruit and vegetables to ferment and distil from there.
#1626 to #1625 - konradkurze (07/02/2014) [-]
< Kras moment

hooking a tanker truck of alcohol to your veins
#1619 to #1618 - krasnogvardiech (06/21/2014) [-]
Oh no you don't. Not again.
User avatar #1611 - soundofwinter ONLINE (06/19/2014) [-]
fuck you
User avatar #1610 - lordgeneral (06/19/2014) [-]
do you even color text.
User avatar #1612 to #1610 - krasnogvardiech (06/20/2014) [-]
Sadly, no.
User avatar #1613 to #1612 - lordgeneral (06/20/2014) [-]
I have a color gold as the holy Aquilla. Emperor be Praised
User avatar #1614 to #1613 - krasnogvardiech (06/20/2014) [-]
That's pale tan. Gold is reserved for Him on Terra, and whichever Rogue Trader is rich enough to afford it. Congratulations, you're popular in desert warfare now.

I would pick a greenish-gray. Blend into your surroundings and all that.
User avatar #1615 to #1614 - lordgeneral (06/20/2014) [-]
They don't allow yellow on the site, so I chose the color of true gold.
User avatar #1616 to #1615 - krasnogvardiech (06/20/2014) [-]
Fair enough.

I'm inclined to think the Emperor's armour and coloring was a side-effect. Perhaps it may have been simple, honest and unpainted adamantium that ended up looking like the purest and holiest of gold from such prolonged exposure to Him.
User avatar #1617 to #1616 - lordgeneral (06/20/2014) [-]
It's the physical manifestation of the Astronomican
#1608 - konradkurze (06/15/2014) [-]
for Kras birthday, i shall resurrect Lenin
#1609 to #1608 - krasnogvardiech (06/15/2014) [-]
He'll be very confused and no doubt hungry.

Prepare a meal for the man.
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