You could say that, yes. Why?

Can you recommend any?

Punch, refinement and sheer damn quality all in one. Might be a bit pricey.

I'm not pulling up any results for Punch, does it have another name?
Crystal head is what I meant

I was meaning the punch you get in the mouth by drinking it. It's got one hell of a kick to it.

oh, well I look dumb now

Hey, Skull is pricey too, but I'd buy it

At the time I got the notification that it came out, it was 2am and I was ******** my guts out. Don't think I haven't seen it.

Well, yeah, I thought you may have seen it, It just blew my mind on how Chaos seems actually... ''somewhat''... good I can't believe I actually wrote that; I think I may have puked, in my mouth, just a bit... .
I mean, **** , what the bloody Hell...

Anyway... how's it? Seems you posted quite a few CG constructs; is it like Google Sketch-Up?

Yep. Basically, I'm on board with an online freeform forum RP group. I wanted to fill my boots as a Staff Member in said RP, so there I am.

Want to join in? It's a monster academy type of deal.

What's it like? As in... what do you do? You said it's like Monster Academy,
Wait, it's like a virtual school?

Sorry, if i didn't reply yesterday... I was really bummed after a girl's boyfriend forbid her from seeing/talking to me... We got along so well, that he became jealous of me... somehow...

Not with it anymore. Had enough of the group's **** . The DM kept springing **** on the group that I didn't want to put up with - which was too damn much like random asspulls to me - so I quit the thing.

It's hard to find a good DnD these days...
I think I'll have to quit the FJ Rollplay... I'm in my last year of middle school and I don't think I'll have time...

School honestly didn't teach me much. Most practical skills I learned came around after I went to live on my own.

First thing you do, though, is go to an interview guidance agency or the like. Just start building up materiel about yourself. I know that Australians, New Zealanders and Americans confirmably have different styles and methods to be done within interviews, so any help I give probably won't work in your region.

Starting a school

Not anymore.

Its not a school anymore or you gave up?

DM was being a cunt. I had enough of that **** .

Yep.

jhgvftxdrws4ed5rftygubhig7f6d5eswxtryfugtfdrexrdgfcnhvtrfcdexh

I NEED YOUR MOTHER LIKE JOHN WILKES BOOTH NEEDS A HAEMORRHOID.

You ****** , I'm not.

I oppose military action on principle, though. People die. That's generally a bad thing.

How am I supposed to like this crap? ****** bad.

A guy's being a cunt, and crying anime tears when I refuse to take any more of that **** . You tell me.

That cunt who keeps posting LoK crap.

I managed to get my new machine up and operational. Already HDMI-affixed an extra TV screen to it and am making use of the Dual Screen feature.

Watching Apocalypse Now.

How's **** ?

cries in disappointment

I made Bear Senpai sad

Why would anyone in Republic City make the distance to walk to Sato Estates?

They're too busy indulging in their materialistic gluttony because Sato Industries entertains them 24/7 and when Asami convinces the citizens of her city that Korra was aiding the Equalists everyone hates her and starts loving Asami even tho all Asami accomplished was killing her father and attempting to kill Amon until Korra stopped her.

Asami is a sociopath. She has very believable lies which gets her re-elected. And since this is 1920's rules and guidelines there was no rule stating how a president can only serve 2 terms. Asami can keep getting re-elected over and over again forever if the crowd doesn't want her to leave

Leaving her monopolies to go unregulated and hog wilded. So if Asami wants to demolish and entire earth kingdom rainforest all she needs to do is bribe a government offical with a "generous anonomous donation from an outside source" and its as easy as revving up her chainsaws and gassing up the bulldozers.

I said it before. Sato Industries definitely has competitors, and any one of those could send a dude to go over and look through the window with binoculars. They'd see your scenes happening.

You know what, I can't take this **** anymore. Your plot is retarded, your logic is laughable and you refuse to even acknowledge how you're ******* things up.

In your endeavour to make one character believable, you **** over the entirety of the rest of the setting.

I wash my hands of this crap.

Please don't be mad. I need someone to proof read **** for me

You have any idea how long I have been doing this project by myself? Too long.

I hate being the only writer here.

Then for ****** sake, pull your **** together and start putting some sense into your work.

Help me then!

Tell you what

I'll draw the picture then show it to you. Then i'll give you an idea on how I want that scene to go

If you don't like my idea then will use your idea instead and see how it changes things

Please don't leave me I enjoy these talks they help.

Let's see what you have, then. I can't say I know how the **** it'll get through your thick skull, as you TL;DR'd an actual, in-depth review and alternative I gave at the very beginning of this **** .

Give it.

Here is the current drawing as of now. It'll be completed on Monday

Canonically, this takes place on the day Lin arrested Suyin for hanging around with Triad AND assaulting a police officer leaving that scar on her face. You remember how Toph earned the worst mother of the year award not giving a **** about Lin in the slightest.

This is all taking place in a flash back. Amon is explaining to Hiroshi his machine is a waste of time because the only people capable of bending sound are the Beifongs because its an extremely rare bending ability. If one of them were to go missing just so they can power the machine the police would be on to their operation

Its not worth the risk.

Nah, **** it. I ain't doing this crap.

WHAT

Now what did I do.

**** it all. I give up.

Essentially everything in that letter from /co/

Back from McDonalds.

You do realize that /co/ and /ck/ are about as elitist as each other, right? And that they'll make a mockery of you for the brand of sauce you use and typos in your work, respectively?

What was that McDonalds order fam?

Anywho one of the biggest problems they have...well...2 biggest problems

>They don't think Asami is a believable villain
>Chishi is ******** .

Maccas order was a Hunger Buster large combo, a Quarter Pounder and a Filet-o-Fish.

All OC characters are hated by default. Hell, I hate OC characters too. They just ruin things. And I said it from the very beginning - I like neither the premise or the plot to this comic. It's destructive by nature and I'm opposed to things that alter the . I do appreciate your work in terms of what effort you put in, but you all but turned the original premise on its head. And that's what a whole lot of people are not going to like.

Depth. Believability. These things are what you need to keep in mind in order to make it realistic.

Also, you still hadn't answered the majority of my questions.

You know what we're only doing a one question policy now.

You can only ask one question at a time so I don't get confused reading whole paragraphs worth of questions.

Alrighty.

First one I can immediately remember is this: if Asami had Korra locked up or restrained in her mansion, and if there were competitors to Sato Industries that were even slightly shady, wouldn't they have the place watched, and having seen that wouldn't they have seen Korra and reported that?

After that, everything would come tumbling down for Sato Industries.

In Legend of Sato you see a sealed room Hiroshi locks Asami in.

That's the quiet time room. Hiroshi in Book 1 tells Korra a story where as Asami became more and more dangerous and unpredictable around people Hiroshi eventually had to take precautionary measures.

Imagine coming home to find your entire house is destroyed and your daughter is stabbing knives in the wall that spell out "I hate everything."

She tried to strangle her therapist to death with a jumprope. At that point she recommend to Hiroshi to give her daughter the chair because she is making no signs on wanting to recover at all

When Asami takes control of Sato Industries, Korra is briefly locked in that room. She can't metal bend her way out or burn her way out either since its made of heavily densed platinum. It takes Hiroshi unlocking the door from the outside to get her out and at that point the Equalists are destroying the city and half of the police force is dead.

There are windows there. Someone watching the house would be looking through them. And have seen that.

The world, or at least some people, couldn't be unaware of these developments. Corporate espionage, baby.

You didn't answer the question.

Those are plastered on. They're fake windows. You ever play Resident Evil Code Veronica?

One of the main antagonists of the game was a psychotic named Alfred Ashford. He lived in Antartica during production of the T-Veronica Virus being created by his sister Alexia Ashford who was experimenting with immortality.

Alfred is retarded. Alexia literally drew crudly drawn trees and clouds on the hard concrete lead walls of the facility and Alfred bought that as "being outside"

Same idea. Hiroshi gives Asami the illusion of space.

Noted. However, there's still the fact that Korra is doing chores, in full view through windows to the outside. And if people are watching, then hey. Child abuse is one thing which leads to arrest, but kidnapping and all but enslaving the goddamn Avatar? Mobs would be rushing to have Asami's head. Her own employees would desert her. And you can sure as hell bet that the world governments would be forming armies and sending assassins.

There's more to the setting than Sato Industries. A whole lot more. **** ain't a vacuum.

I see everythign

[screaming]

1k words a day was my goal. Well ahead of it. I just jot down what happens, and link it all together, then present it all in tone and theme.

Yours?

After reaching a point where it feels like Korra isn't moving an inch toward being obidient Asami smashes a bottle of Vodka on Korra's head and knocks her out and uses this time to apply her anti-bending collar so she can't operate her bending powers making her useless for the time being

The first night when Korra sneaks out of the Broom Closet (because that is what Asami calls her bed), she mets Hiroshi who easily bipassed Asami's security system and takes Korra out for a late night drive to one of Asami's factories

There they find Korra's mom who looks like she hasn't eaten or slept in days and is currently a paranoid obidient worker who has her own "private office" so as to not get distracted by noises. This is also how Asami deals with people who ask for things like "Paychecks, vacation days, or sick leave."

Korra is fuming with anger but Hiroshi begs her to not take her rage out on Asami because Asami is sick and is unaware of what she is doing is wrong. She promises to take Korra's mom to a medical facility in exchange Korra places a fake collar around her neck to fool Asami since Asami and Hiroshi are the only two people who can deactivate the anti-bending collars since the key to unlock them is very specific.

Couldn't Korra just Avatar-state out of that **** ? Worked with bloodbending, worked with chi blocking... let's face it, being the literal. ******* . bridge between the spiritual and physical worlds probably overrides ******* everything that can be done in the physical sense.

Again, makes me wonder how Korra would put up with all that crap. Also how the vodka bottle trick was pulled. Korra'd be in a building with someone she is beginning to hate due to all the **** she makes her go through, don't you think she'd be on her guard?

Also, the fact remains that Korra's a bratty teen, just about. How would she put up with all that crap anyway?

>Couldn't Korra just Avatar-state out of that **** ?

Book 2 on the way to the Northpole to see Unalaq.

She fights off the electrocution effects and eventually forces herself into the Avatar state to tear the collar off. She then seals the collar in a ball of air and hurls it 20 ft away from the boat. The collar then explodes since the collar is rigged to explode if its removed or tampered with the wrong way.

Exactly.

Also, about the exploding part. It's fair to say the collars have some kind of sensor.

Since it's fair to say that Asami either doesn't recognize the potency of the Avatar as an ally, nor does she value Korra's life. Nevermind the fact that the Avatar is such a bender-spiritual-cultural foundation stone, and enslaving her would very likely make the rest of the world vilify her to the point of taking obliterative action against her.

If the above is true, wouldn't this Asami set the collar to exclusively be restricted to the Sato mansion? Unless Hiroshi deactivated the collar beforehand.

Also, in the event that Korra's collar is deactivated, what makes you think she wouldn't just saunter over and punch Asami's head into paste? She's well capable of it. Fire is a great weapon for burning things, and it's Asami's phobia too. A very effective vengeance weapon, don't you think?

Let me see if I understand this correct

Asami is such a no factor to you as a character it doesn't even matter what the writer canonically tries to write her as?!

IT MATTERS TO ME because Asami is the most human character in all of Avatar. There is not single character in this show more human than Asami and this doesn't get to be shown since Korra is anything but human

She's a weapon with a mouth. She needs to be locked in a cage.

Oh, I see things now, my bad.

I had just thought that the animators and writers of LoK were that bad. Really, the animation quality was nice and it was good to see some more Avatar stuff, but that's the point - it was all fanservice and catering to the niche market. I disregarded her because the rest of the show seemed just that dumb to me. After an application of Occam's Razor, I just set myself into the same viewing mindset as I do for Kill la Kill, or Tengen Toppa Gurenn Lagann, or the Transformers movies.

Then again, I've only really seen seasons 1 and a bit of 2. The last episode I saw was when Korra was lumped in with that billionaire guy who had the boat, who took in Bolin as his celebrity-apprentice.

Well, now that I understand things better, perhaps we can move forward. Have you completed much more that I can lay a critical eye on?

Not till monday but you're free to ask about whatever you want.

Alrighty.

- How, if at all, will General Iroh come into this? I figured that with something as huge in the setting as the head of one of if not the greatest technological enterprises in the world suddenly going insane, direct military action will probably be warranted. Maybe not a full-scale war deployment, but the equivalent of spec ops teams and assassins.

- You mentioned that someone would nuke the South Pole to slag. How in the blue Sammy hell would someone:
a) acquire the understanding of atomic power,
b) develop bombs that actually worked on the principle, which in so short a time would very likely still be experimental,
c) produce so many of such a world-shaking thing without being noticed, as weapons testing is kind of an important thing and a nuclear blast is kinda noticeable,
d) manage to get all this crap past the denizens of the Spirit World who would probably have a lot to say against it all,
e) gather enough forces without opposition (full-scale military opposition) and move all that to the target zone
f) conduct the mini-Exterminatus without being torn to bits by the spirits, as mentioned above.

- How would someone not notice that the Avatar was seriously ****** over by dealing with this mess? How would the world's forces not sic everything they had against this enemy faction which was able to fully suppress bending abilities and gain slaves in the same manner?

- How would anyone not notice Korra's abscence and/or presence at the Sato mansion? Asami would make her do chores and abuse her as she saw fit, but surely there are spies within Sato's organization that would leak information. A competitor with such information could just let it be known to the public, and then all of the Elemental Nations would bring their fury down on Sato Enterprises.
-- And before you say that Asami would keep Korra in secret, in those images I saw windows. With that kind of money, somebody would be watching.
--- In regards to the inevitable 'we keep your tech up to date', the world governments/Republic City council/Avatar Guardians/Bender forces/call-them-whatever would know well that it's easier, and simpler, to kill the leader and elect a new, more manageable one in its place. Did I tell you about that dude who loved Bolos who wrote a whole lot of crossovers with them? Anyhoo, in the thread which I got that link from, the morality thread which discussed the James Cameron's Avatar movie, someone said that the RDA might be a powerful corporation, but they still bow to the USA. And if they overstepped the bounds placed on them, it is very easy to have the company deposed and a smaller, more agreeable one put into its place. Anyhoo, this whole point runs on the same principle. If otherwise, an explanation on why it's Sato Industries in particular which is the only one that can keep and maintain all their product (tech) and why another company/person/organization can't do the same.

Like I said there are 3 alternate endings its up to you which one you enjoy reading to cap off the comic.

One ending revolved around Asami wanting to ruin Korra on a multitude of different levels so she turned the entire South Pole into an enormous landfill/dumping site

In this universe, Asami has zero compassion toward the environment and Republic City takes a massive hit on this when they question why can't they see the sun anymore? Its because Asami never turns off the factories and isn't interested in stopping anything that keeps pumping her money

>CUT DOWN THAT FOREST
>STRIP MINE THOSE MOUNTAINS
>DUMP THAT WASTE IN THE RIVER
>ITS MINE MINE MINE ALL MINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Alternate endings they may be, but something must have diverged.

Still, everything above there needs explaining.

Alright I should probably explain the beginning of my Book 1 retelling

There comes a boiling point during Korra's airbending training where Tenzin that eventually Tenzin snaps and gives Korra a fake avatar degree and tells her to **** off Not literally **** off but he says something in a very annoyed tone which boils down to "Congrats. Here. Now leave.

Korra is retarded and thinks this proves she is even remotely ready to be the world's Avatar but she cheerfully decides to go show her parents who're not home Korra's mom is trapped in a sub floor basement of a Sato Textile mill. Since Korra and Asami age identically by the Korra is still training at the camps Asami can send a shipping boat to come pick up slaves and one them happened to be Korra's mom.

Asami returns to the South Pole and gives Korra a ride to Republic City giving her a massive stack of paperwork to fill out which grants her an identification card which is mandatory in order to get into Republic City to prevent illegal immigration. She's the president she can do what she wants so long as she can convince her citizens its for the best

Korra needs to abide by 3 rules

>No Vigalanteeism. That is a high law that need to be respected. All issues must be fixed by Sato Industries

>Korra cannot leave Republic City without having Asami accompany her in the event something gets broken and starts an international incident. She is also forbidden to enter the city without an ID card

>Korra is required to wear a maid outfit at all times since she does not have permission to leave Sato Estates which means she will be instructed to do chores otherwise she is committing "Cease and decension" which is punishable to life in prison.

Your record of Book 1 is noted, but the above points still need to be answered. Because as far as I can see, those are big damn gaping plot holes that need to be resolved.

You forget that while she's inexperienced as hell, Korra is still indeed the goddamn Avatar. Do you honestly thing a bit of paperwork will even be considered by her? She's a teenage brat, and has the power to just stroll wherever, remember. As irrational as she is, I can't see how she'd either sock Asami in the jaw and go to find her mom, or just go about her merry way. Potentially going through all the lessons learned of all the Avatars and all the spirits, becoming the bridge between the spirit world and the one who effectively calls the shots. However those collars work, they likely can't stand up to the literal ******* magic that the Avatar state is.

Regardless of how things happen, the spirits would probably not ******* stand for any of it. And then they could come and wreck humanity's **** basically unopposed. Which neither of us want to happen.

Yeah, just looking over it all in general, I fail to see how Korra would abide by those three orders, or how she'd actually stay with Asami. That kind of **** would just not fly for anyone in a realistic go of things.

You're correct. After reading thru all of that Korra decides to level with Asami "her way" by boiling it down to "Let me take care of the saving the world stuff. That way you won't have to worry about breaking one of your nails."

Its at this point Asami shows her a detailed powerpoint slide on how the pecking order works according to Asami

>Sato Industries
>Varrick Industries
>Beifong Family Dynasty
>The Fire Nation
>The Large capitols that make up the Earth Kingdom so Omashu and Ba Sing Se
>The Northern Water Tribe
>Tenzin's family and the Air Capitol
>A pile of ****
>The Southern Water Tribe
> ****
> ****
> ****
> ****
> ****
>And then Korra on the very bottom.

You can see Asami has a massive ego,

Oooorrrr....

Ahahahaha! You mean to tell me that the spirits will be just all happy and dandy while Sato ruins the world?

Last I checked they were very opposed to that. And you know, if Sato makes it them versus the world, the world will indeed bite back.

And how would Korra fly with any of that? If anyone's got half a brain, they'd know that the Avatar was the bridge between the Spirit and the Physical worlds.

In short, she's supposed to be the one which stops all the spirits from wrecking everything, like they were about to in that solstice festival thrown by Varrick at the Southern Pole.

Catgirl crap? Was ist das?

Ever watch RWBY? That internet award winning anime series made by Rooster Teeth? The people who do Red vs Blue? The people who work at Machinima and get paid by microsoft indirectly to make RWBY and Red vs Blue?

The girl in the cat ears is named Blake she is from that show.

And trust me, I know that series. Ever heard of a SpaceBattles account called Ryuugi?

Oooooh. That makes sense, then.

I was befuddled as **** because I thought you did a Final Fantasy and chucked abhumans into something for no apparent reason. If it was present all along and unrevealed thus far, that would have changed my outlook.

But I digress.

I can't think of much more to ask about. Here's what I got at all.
- You still didn't answer my query about Hiroshi Sato. Did the ****** have a sanity made of cotton, or something? How did he go crazy so quickly, so suddenly?
- Is the above an inherited trait? If not, does Asami get her head straight at any point in time?
- Have you scaled up the ass-kicking that is to be delivered unto that cunt Chishi you wrote in? I get that it's a daemon of undoing and destruction and thus being true to its nature, but I still revile the concept.

Actually I just wanna know what you thought of the 3 endings I showed you.

Didn't I already reply to all of these? Or did you do some work on them after those ones?

brb laundry

You didn't reply at all to my endings you sort of went AFK.

Did a lot of brainstorming on my 3 alternate endings

Ending 1- Asami is such a danger to society they had to build an enormous Insane Asylum specifically built to keep her from leaving. They tried throwing her in jail and every prisoner there was found dead the next morning along with 1/3 of the RCPD. The epilouge revolves around Korra finally having the "bonding time" she's been begging to have with Asami.

Ending 2- Korra gets put in a mental hospital. The trauma and torture left behind from Asami has caused Korra to become a vegetable. She raged so hard she not only killed Asami it drove her insane. The Avatar becomes extremely dangerous to be around and everyone just needs to adapt without her until her Avatar Cycle runs out. Of course Mako thinks everyone is being paranoid so he lets her out despite the fact the smallest things can trigger her now since she doesn't respond to reason anymore just screaming and anger. There isn't anything human left in her mind she's practically animalistic.

Ending 3- Avatar Aang and Iroh open a portal to the spirit world where Korra drags Asami thru since there is no rule about human's being allowed into the spirit world so long as the gate between world's remains open. Aang shoves Asami thru a door which leads her to her perfect dream utopia. Its an industrial ******** riddled with smog pollution everywhere from her enormous factories but its the forefront of progress as her streets are paved with gold and there are statues dedicated to her everywhere.

This ending is special because Aang then tells her none of it is real. The door Asami got shoved thru is one of the worst punishments to be given to human or spirit. Think of it as a personalized purgatory. Yes. Its everything you want in an endless supply but you're unable to return to the actual world making everything in her world completely useless because it doesn't even exist. Once the door destroys itself Asami realizes she is trapped in her own personal pleasure hell forever and she can't kill herself either because its purgatory.

1 - Cliche and tacky, but it can be pulled off well enough if you flesh it out sufficiently. I don't see much that can be done for better or worse, save the toning-down of the RCPD casualties. If it's Asami who's doing it all, then I just don't see how a non-bender, however capable, would be able to overpower benders when said benders are trained in bringing down individuals - the very thing Asami is. It'd make more sense if the total casualties of all RCPD forces sent in totalled a third, when counted over a long period of time.

2 - The Bad Karma ending. Can be pretty good as an author to portray if you're going for the ruthless sort of image. It could be massively improved if a little bit of Mako, the part in his head that listened to all of Vaatu's insiduous whispers, became rather prominent. Character development in the evil direction.

I imagine it as this; Mako gets the ideal that he and Korra both suffered so much at the hands of the city and its inhabitants, either directly or indirectly. Why should any concern be spared for them?

As for three, well. That seems to be the closest thing to a Good ending with any degree of plot resolving that I can think of. A personal hell for her, and no more worries for Republic City.



My two cents on it all.

Here is what I like about Ending 2.

Ending 2 ends with The White Lotus taking Korra to the North Pole since the South Pole is gone. Asami flooded it with Nuclear Waste and trash. All of her tribe is dead including her parents so going there would be nothing but broken memories.

It ends with them coming to visit Korra once a month just to check in on her.

They notice Korra is beginning to follow patterns but its a sign she is getting better. Let me show what a dialouge tree would look like

Mako: Korra? Its me Mako...are you feeling OK

Korra is over the edge of a small ice fishing pond where she pulls up her last fish for today making a pretty decent hall as she carries it all back to her small little igloo house about 20 miles away from the Northern Water Kingdom

Mako: Uh do you want me to cook those fish for you? I mean I can do it in a jiffy it be no trouble

Korra quietly closes the door to her Igloo so fixated in her own little world she can't hear anyone else talking. nothing else exists. All she hears is the sound of her feet stepping on the frozen ice and the sound of the fire cooking her fish.

That's how bad Korra has it right now. Its a huge improvement considering when Mako let her out of the Asylum she turned half of Republic City into a crater and she doesn't even understand that she did it...again...no thought just animal instincts

Darwin's Downfall, is it? Gaining of true enlightenment, then recedence to primal state.

Sounds good to me.

Ending 3 went thru draft hell a lot.

In an alternate story I was going to give Asami Multiple Personality Syndrome where the dark half of her brain and the light half of her brain would go thru 2 different doors.

The light half represents Asami's childhood innocense who in the end hugs Korra and cries tears of joy saying thanks to her she made all the bad thoughts go away and she'd never have to do bad things ever again

The dark half gets the same ending as the current ending for ending 3 BUT to add a little bit of more dred to the story, not only is Asami locked in her own personal hell she was locked in their with a shape shifting spirit who could become your worst nightmare and since they were both stuck in their for all of eternity imagine an eternity where you had to get your ass kicked by korra

every day

forever

Insane.

I gotta ask, though, what's the purpose for all this? You chuck in all sorts of horrible **** - child trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, psychopathy and sociopathy so far from what I care to remember.

But what's the point of it all?

All the great works are presentations of messages; War and Peace was an examination of war through a singlular individual's perspective. Lord of the Flies was about how when detached from civilization, mankind reverts to a tribal state. Heart of Darkness was the presentation of the evils of man in all their forms.

This picture is that of comradery formed over many, many years.

What's the message in your work? Is your work something that will stick with people? Or is it just the latest in a long line of slices of life in alternate universes?

First off, Lord of the Flies is a terrible book and it use children as its example. Its hardly a literary magnum opus

Let me tell you why

Look at this character
<---

What do we know about this character?

>She's rich
>She has all of her mother's beauty and her father's love for machines
>She owns the biggest company on earth
>She lived a happy yet boring life until the Avatar showed up
>Korra showed her her father was a vile sociopath showing that Asami truly has no family that loves her or is even alive right now
>Has been cock blocked at least 2 seperate occasions by Korra over the same boy
>Suddenly becomes a Lesbian. Don't believe a ******* word anyone from the Korrsami side of the spectrum tells you they're making up lies. not once or ever was it implied Asami had ideals of becoming a lesbian because Korra kept ******* getting in the way of her job and her social life

This is not how you write a character with these tropes. Asami is a VILLAIN. End of story. You can't write a character like this and play her like a hero

Book 3 had the perfect moment to show that nothing was going right with Asami. I had a dream one time where it involved Asami sadly rubbing her eyes as she got out of bed, took a long sad shower as she shivered nervously as all sorts of dark horrid thoughts raced thru her head giving her all kinds of sensory overload

Then she stares at the mirror...she sees her eyes...she sees a black void...there is nothing there but screaming. She angerly applies make-up to her face violently scribbling it on her face gritting her teeth as she does it and Korra walks in with a smile on her face and says "Hey Asami! are you ready to go on another adventure."

Despite scribbling all kinds of make-up on her face...it comes out perfect. Because that's Asami's life...everything is designed to be perfect and nothing can ever be flawed even when she wants it to be. She gently places her lipstick down without turning to Korra and she turns out with a huge smile on her face as she says "You bet Korra! God I just love going on adventures you I just...NEVER...EVER...GET TIRED OF THEM."

And that is the hint everything Asami just said is not true. She hates these adventures. She hates not getting any kind of real work done and what does she get for helping out Korra so much? Nothing...a nice pat on the back despite the fact she is the sole reason Korra gets anywere

Noted. You said 'first off', what else?

...That's it

There is no way you read all of that.

I skim-read. Regardless, what I meant to say is that while LotF is indeed terrible in context and pretence I agree with you on the children part. Revolting, but hell, that's shock value for you. That one movie a while back where there was a plague that made people blind, and the city quarantined this hospital, and that ended up with a bunch of the hospital worker men, depot operators and the like, going tribal in mindset, stealing and hoarding the supplies so they extorted a bunch of patient-women for sex. That conveyed the same message, with added squick. my point still stands.

All the great works, everything memorable, has messages and meanings behind it all. It makes you seriously sit back and think. And since works that do that are often great, I don't see why we shouldn't strive to make this comic just as great.

You get me? Sorry for all this, but I just don't see how Asami's villainy counts as being adequate a message to portray. It's good work you're doing, I'd hate to see your effort wasted.

Unless I horribly missed the point and that was the intention all along.

Never saw you, never heard of you, never took a briefcase full of unmarked $100 bills from you.

syrianassassin

I'm goddamn busy as of l8, m8. Sorry I can't keep up with demand.

In Legend of Beifong, Toph demands Lin be off the force because she is letting her anger get in the way of her police work plus she is trying to cover up the failure that is her other daughter Suyin

Toph found a baby unintended in an alleyway covered in blood but no bodies were found. We later learn that those were the parents of Mako and that baby is Mako. The reason why Mako's parents are dead is because spoilers...Chishi.

So in this telling Lin is Mako's adopted mother so gone is the Pro Bending years. Lin straight up raises him like her son and at 14 he joins the Police Academy as a Rookie Cop and...routes for him on the sideline since the police force doesn't want Lin back because she is "too hands on."

*roots

All the divergence... all the devastation. I hate it. Really, really do. Hate's a strong word, but in this case it's accurate for my reaction. I really hate all this **** . Sorry, but I'm a builder of things.

Oh it gets better

Mako's fire in this story is a bright shade of purple which scares and confuses a lot of people. The reason for this is its not Mako's nature fire...it's Vaatu's

Mako is Vaatu's vessel. After finally breaking free of his cursed seal left behind by Raava and Wan thru his force of will most of his energy is gone and he will need another thousand years in order to reign damnation on the physical realm so to kill time he possess the soul of the first living creature he sees and since Mako's parents were just recently slaughtered Mako became his vessel

Now...I'm one of the maybe small minority of people who was curious of the idea of a reverse avatar but Unalaq didn't really quite hit the nail on the head. Mako is essentially the first "rising pheonix." which is where Vaatu greatly enhances Mako's fire bending abilities to the point of god hood and if need to Mako can come to Vaatu for guidance the way Korra can with Raava

Its hilarious when you read Book 2 and you have Vaatu charged Mako fighting against Unalaq in the cold blizzard of the North Pole.

Sounds exciting. Not much input I can give, as it all seems fairly straightforward.

Here, have the pic because I would have creamed if Amon really was.

How did you go from hating it to liking it especially when I narutofied the **** out of it?

Be specific, man.

I hate the destruction that Chishi causes. I hate the demon for wreaking havoc among the works of man.

But then it goes to beyond the normal scale of things. It goes to a battle of deities and vessels. If I hated that, that'd mean I hated every game of DnD ever which quite often make use of the same sort of things.

I like your stuff up there because it's straightforward. Uncomplicated. It makes sense. And besides, that kind of stuff is world-shaking in-setting. As long as you don't go along the DBZ scale of power increment, big battles like that are very well doable.

The thing about Vaatu and Mako's relationship

Mako is 110% aware how evil Vaatu is and when he comes to him for advice it pretty much boils down to "SMITE YOUR ENEMIES HAVE THEM TASTE ETERNAL HELLFIRE AND DAMNATION!"

This relates to an inner battle Mako has with Vaatu because he needs to curve the voice inside his head trying to tell him to do bad things unlike Raava who is normally silent and wants the Avatar to guide herself

Vaatu also has his own Avatar cycle as well. If Mako were to die due to unnatural causes, Vaatu would be trapped inside him until Mako's body were to decay and then he would need to find a fire bender of equal strength to Mako

That was also Vaatu's gimmick in the canon. He can only bend 1 element BUT he can make that element very powerful.

I've got pretty much no problem with this. I reckon Mako'd all but be traumatized by the exposure to that kind of evil crap. Have plenty of Mass-Effect-Renegade moments for him.

Anywho hopefully that answers most of your questions.

It answers all my immediate ones. I'll have a ponder on some more for tomorrow.

Keep those questions coming.

Right, in order.
- Does Hiroshi Sato possess a sanity made of famberge, or something? Having his wife burned alive, while traumatic and horrible, is nowhere even approaching bad enough to shatter a guy's sanity just like that. Same goes for his daughter. Do mental illnesses run in the family or something?
- How the hell does Korra not just kick her ass? In half the things you post she's subbier than the food at the saladwich shop chain. And I'm guessing they're not friends.
- I'm guessing that the maid-person is equally crazy, or at least up there. No normal person does to another person what you've showed me in your strips.
- Is there going to be pairings and lesbians goddamn everywhere? I don't mind it if two people get together out of the blue, but I'm certain the people in-universe very clearly know that it's not a good idea to hook up in these sort of times. Abide not stupidity.
- Is there going to be any explanation to how all their tech works? Engineering being my trade, hobby and profession, I have a huge boner for all the tech going on there. I'd hate it if it was all just goddamn handwaved.
- You're not planning on pulling out ******** to Naruto levels, are you? I've seen far too many fics fall to that sort of retardation.

Hiroshi and Amon have two different agendas.

Amon wants to create a genocide that terminates all benders on earth making him the last living bender on the planet so that way he can rule his glorious "non bending" utopia with an iron fist all while preaching "equality."

Hiroshi wants the Equalists to be the new police force. He wants to eliminate the Triad and the police because he considers both of them to be equally useless because "if the police did their ******* jobs the Triad wouldn't rule my city and my wife wouldn't be dead!"

The presence of benders is a spiritual one, though. I'm fairly certain non-bender parents can have bender children, unless I'm wrong about things.

Amon's a goddamn psycho retard in that case and Hiroshi takes bitterness to the extreme, but that's apparently your decision on things.

Also, the above questions still need answering. They were even bullet-pointed.

Amon from the established canon was the man who successful got Hiroshi the patent he needed to make his enormous fortune.

So in exchange he owed him a favor and since Hiroshi isn't thinking clearly due to his wife being dead he pay's Amon and his Equalist army in weapons

One weapon inparticular is the Anti-Bending collar a device that turns off all bending unless the collar is removed. The collar is made of very dense platinum so it can't be metal bent. It also has a manual shock feature which will electrocute you if you try to force the collar off.

Asami has one fixated around Korra's neck making it impossible for her to take off. Asami also has a conveniant remote she carries with her at all times to electrocute Korra if she refuses to do chores.

How does it prevent bending? Chi blocking comes to mind, but if that were the case the Equalists' movement is all but done. They've got insta-slave makers.

Amon might need some slave labor. Its a contingency plan.

That maid person is named Chishi. If you recall from our previous conversation Chishi is a demon who is undercover to spy on Asami and Korra and trying to see if she can kill an Avatar by instagating a non bender to do so for pety selfish reasons.

Her mission in life is to see an end to all of reality. Its similar to how Vaatu wants all of reality to be bleached in darkness but Chishi wants to personalize damnation by making the non benders destroy themselves thru greed and war

How many international incidents, wars, genocides, deaths, etc have been caused by her. 3/4 of all Avatar were killed by her as well. She is like a training step and Korra is her next target when she gets tired of waiting on Asami to finish the job.

Alright. Onto the next one.

There is more to Chishi

Chishi is one of a kind. She used to be mortal until Wan failed to save her after she fell into the Fountain of XanXa. The Fountain of XanXa is a relic so old it even confuses Raava who has never heard of it

After she falls into the fountain she has a bit of a Lazurus pit effect which causes her to go completely insane. She feels dark energy convulsing thru every part of her body making her immortal.

Once she came out of the fountain she had so much power triggering thru her it even allowed her to create portals thru dimensions so she can relieve all her "greatest triumphs for all of eternity."

There is a moment in Book 3 where Chishi created a small glass ball in her hand and in that ball is called a "Therom" which is a reality that doesn't exist unless its completely metaphorical. Imagine a movie where everyone in it thinks everything is real.

Chishi shows to Korra she is the reason Asami's mom is dead and because of this incident the situation cannot be reverse and Asami is destined to hate everything forever. If Chishi didn't kill Asami's mom we'd have real canon LoK instead.

Well, ain't that a kick in the head.

Include Korra being the badass she is once Asami hears of that. Release collar, let Avatar either lay low or git rekt against that thing. I don't see why they'd just stand for all that **** .

Don't worry. Korra stops Chishi but since she is immortal and feeds off fear and depression the only thing that can stop her is when she and Zaheer team up to seal her into Purgatory in the form of a scroll.

I don't think that's enough and think Chishi ought to be ******* Exterminatus'd, but alright.

Next point - are you going to have it nothing but a cast of couples? That ****** just tacky.

You're not wrong but there is nothing establishing that Air Benders bending Sound

Lin can do it and so can Toph so one can assume Suyin can do it and all of her children.

That was sensory input, though. Not quite bending. Otherwise she'd be blasting armor to bits with pure damn sound energy.

Metalbending would be shredding the metal of the machine directly, but soundbending would be gathering chi and transforming the chi into pure goddamn energy. Sound energy. Which would be difficult at best to get the frequencies and amplitudes right for every kind of metal and alloy. I think it ought to be a subset of energy-bending, myself. Fairly close to Lightning-bending in the sense that it's a purified form of regular bending, but of a different type.

My two cents and understanding of it, anyway.

By technicality its still a form of Earth Bending and only the Beifongs are masters at it.

Noted.

By the way, after closer inspection of your picture below, I have no goddamn idea how soundbending is supposed to work. Does that device copy the bending techniques done by people and then direct the soundbending pulse towards the person it's supposed to be searching for? How the hell does it work?

How I remember Sound Bending is suppose to work is you can't use your sight. You need to close your eyes, focus your chi to your ear drums, and then release thru your hands.

Now Lin used this to locate people now imagine Sound Bending magnified by a giant Satelite Dish. Its like really primitive GPS.

Noted.

Also, how would they know what EMP is?

You're joking right

Remember LoK takes place in the year 1920

And in Book 2 and 3 they have Jeeps and Speedboats

Nothing in this universe makes sense.

Also need I forget in book 4 Kuriva had a GIANT **** YOU ROBOT

Yeah, but they relied on bending, combustion fuels and coal power at some points to power all that. And I'm guessing it was all based on DC electricity system analogues.

A jeep and a speedboat ain't difficult at all to build if you dumb the systems down. The robot was powered by bending or oilpunk mechanical system arrays and such crap.

Everything can make sense, if you provide a sufficient reason and explanation. This is why I've got a big damn problem with a whole lot of your plot thus far, and provide alternate plotlines when I can that can still work within the events you laid out.

Underneath the underneath, bruh

I can assure you my plot is nowhere near as convoluted as the plot of established canon.

I'm trying to fix flaws by making new flaws so people can forget about the old flaws.

Its flawless.

My stance on it is ' **** that, fix everything', but if that's what you want to do, I'll abide by it.

Its ******* LABOR DAY!

For you, maybe. I'm down in ************** and that's not till a couple days after Christmas.

Besides, I'm doing some CHA-based finagling and may potentially get myself a desktop. I might just be ordained into the PC Gaming Master Race.

Don't even get me started on PC games I bought a random stranger on Autism Mad Max.

I haven't watched the movie yet, even.

Do you think I should wait to secure my rent money, or should I just instabuy the thing now?

>Wasting something as precious as rent money

NO

I have things a bit easier than that. And a job and something of a cushion in my finances besides. The PC's $500, about the same price as two and two-thirds of a week of rent.

In unrelated news, would you read something of mine? Wrote it years back and got the idea of reviving the concept a week ago. I'd like your feedback on it.

Fine but only if I get feedback from you about my latest comic strip.

Of course. I'll PM it to you because it's a big thing.

While you do that here.

This takes place before Book 1. If you remember from Book 3, Suyin accidentally ****** up Lin's face during a run in with the Triad

This is the result of that

Am I getting this right - Amon is dreaming of all that happening? Or remembering it?

Also, link to your new comic strip?

Here is what is happening

Hiroshi built a machine that locates people thru sound bending which is a rare bending art only learned by talented Earth Benders

The only Earth Benders capable of accomplishing this are the Beifong family and since they're a huge part of the Republic City police trying to kidnap one of them to power the machine would be suicide to the Equalists plan for world domination

Wouldn't it make more sense for airbenders to have sound as their thing? What we perceive as noise is vibrations through the air, after all.

I play every day. When I'm not working.

You got in, didn't you?

I wish to not be a bother.

In unrelated news, my chair exploded.

I sat on it. Then the metal supports ripped through the plastic casing.

Typing this from my bed. In unrelated news, I found my wallet.

****** the Loch Ness Monster, swirlie'd Satan and spat on Cthulhu's sofa.

Gotta go. Take drugs and kill a bull for me.

Noooice. Why'd you delete the conversation, though? I had thought that stuff good to come back to later.

You were an asshole in the same way that I was - you didn't give a damn about feelings and being offended since we're mature adults with enough of a handle on ourselves not to get offended at the tiniest things. And I don't count that as being an asshole, so you weren't.

I wanted to start fresh.

Now then.

If i'm going to ask for your help I need you to give me very simple instructions particulary in the form of writing critiques and not massive plot dumps. Take everything you just said and simplify it for me.

Here is everything you need to know about young Asami at this point

She is around say 8 in this story
Its a prequel to book 1
In this universe, Sato Industries is a lot more bigger than in the show. Its a monopoly that is very popular amongst the citizens of Republic City. Anything with a Sato Industries trademark on it means its name brand and therefore good
Sato Industries deals with more products than in the show. Outside of building Sato Mobiles, Sato Industries is like the Buy n Large from Wall-E. You need something done Hiroshi can have it done for you for a fee and Asami is the same way once she takes control of the company
Its never really clear how much money the Sato's have. Around this time Hiroshi's networth is estimated to be somewhere around 100 billion dollars. However, when Asami takes over the company she quadruples that amount and its somewhere around 800-900 Quadrillion dollars making Asami absurdly wealthy and because of her wealth very powerful
Republic City was built by Aang and funded by Hiroshi's father who is only mentioned briefly because he is non important. Essentially boiling it down to the Sato's own and will always own Republic City so long as Fan demand remains positively consistant
Asami turns Republic City into her own Orwellian Utopia where she has eyes and ears and propaganda everywhere.

Didn't really know what you wanted to start fresh from. I was quibbling over the details of the plot and the structure of it all, and had offered you a new one that worked. I just keep in mind that things don't happen for no reason. Fist of the North Star kept that up pretty well, for example.

Story seems good so far. I'll try tie together something in a point-by-point list.

Now here is the thing about the maid. Her name is Chishi.

Chishi isn't human but Hiroshi or Asami don't know this yet. Chishi is a demon from the spirit world disguised as a human. She has existed since the beginning of the first Avatar: Wan. Her powers rival that of Vaatu's. Vaatu is the spirit world equivalent of a nuke it destroys everything in its wake as fast as possible until existence is nothing more than a void of nothing.

Chishi is a creature of personalized destruction. She in one way or another is the reason why terrible things happen to good people since you're cursed with the dred of living for all of eternity you wanna remind people how unhappy you're all the time. Chishi is the kind of person who would laugh at a violent genocide like it was a knock knock joke. As a demon she has zero sympathy for mortals and is amused when they slaughter each other for pety reasons. In fact she encourages this violent behavior because negativity is her food source which keeps her human looking.

She is the main antagonist of Book 3. Zaheer ends up helping Korra take her down since Korra is powerless to do it alone.

Fantastic. I'm guessing you want me to help stitch it all together?

You don't mind being my editor/proof reader do you right?

Its funny because I went thru several different ideas for Chishi during the beta

>An affair angle where Chishi seduces Hiroshi so she can selfishly glutton all his money and live comfortably for the rest of her life
>A maid Asami would beat to death with an alarm clock while Hiroshi was forced to watch
>A former Dai-Li agent who left the force because it paid like **** but she still stayed true to her methods so at one point I was going to make her an Earth bender.

Eventually I decided upon demon since this character is my self insert I might as well make full use of her.

... How about you keep the three ideas and have them all be extra people around the child Asami?

I agreed to start on this. That ought to answer any concerns.

This leaves the matter of Hiroshi and his terrible parenting skills.

Normally Hiroshi was busy all the time and he was always at meetings so Asami and Yasunko her mom's name would spend the days together. Little is known about Asami's mom so I made up a story about her owning a Jewlelry shop that sold Blood Diamonds and made a lot of money.

When her and Asami went to go get some ice cream that was when the Ag Ni Kai triad made their move and killed Asami's mom in broad public. In book 3 we learn that it was Chishi's doing as to why this happened because one of her powers allows her to "alter reality" by switching events in history to benefit her sick pleasure of destruction in chaos

If Asami's mom lived, Sato Industries wouldn't be seen in a negative light come the end of the story. People would loved it and appreciate it. Also Korra and Asami would have been friends, teammates....*sigh*...lovers...just like in the show

But since Chishi implimented her death, Korra and Asami are destined to hate each other forever because of it and from now till the end of her Avatar cycle, Asami will always be Korra's 1 major concern. Like Lex to Superman. Like Joker to Batman.

It was more or less through random accident they met to begin with, wasn't it? That's what I recall.

Asami's "Equality thru Poverty" idea came to be when she realized she own at least 3/4 of the entire earth's resources and the other 1/4 is owned by Varrick industries showing just how gluttonous Asami is when it comes to power.

The one thing she needed to own more than anything was Korra who Asami sees as a weapon and nothing more. Since weapons are Asami's favorite source of income because no one profits off peace, Asami felt it was nessessary that for Avatar Korra to exist at all in her city she needed to be owned physically like a piece of property.

Asami then dresses her in a maid outfit and bullies her and Korra can't do anything about it since she has something called an "Anti-Bending" collar wrapped around her neck which turns off her bending and can be used as a shock collar to keep Korra's attention focused on her.

For a version of things that is ******* sick and grim, I guess it's fairly well written out, and you've got the artistic skill to put it into life. I'll be ironing it all out, I guess.

A full and proper critique on it all would take a while, and I've got my own **** to deal with in the meantime. You don't mind too long of a wait, do you?

Im not even half way done of Legend of Sato. Everytime a part of it gets done I'll let you in.

Also a LOT of characters in this show are getting personality swaps and I cannot ******* WAIT to see your reaction to Lin and Mako.

Sounds damn good. Gotta run now though, so mail me when you hit a stumbling block. I'll get to work on the thing eventually.

Wazzap bruv

Morning.

Asami looks ******* disgusting as a valley girl. Get that degenerate crap out of here.

>Not liking Valley Girl Asami

You're a Korra fag aren't you. Tell me in vivid detail how you want to lick Korra's disgusting feet

Nah, too much of a bitch for my tastes. I just despise any chick that looks, thinks and acts like a overgrown schoolchild. Making that character, who is reputed to have been capable by non-bender standards, into something as ******* basic as that?

Well, yeah. **** stinks to me like how evil stinks to Paladins.

Biggest missed oppertunity was not making Asami a villain

Making her the direct antagonist, the out-and-out villain to be slain, isn't profitable in the slightest. Nobody can fault a smith for selling a sword, and likewise nobody can fault a weapons manufacturer for selling their product.

As it stands, she benefits most from being just off the side of directly aligning herself with either faction - she helps out a little when Korra asks, and sells potent weaponry to the 'villains' when asked as well. Profit from both sectors and good relations with both.

Like Otto Von Bismarck. Good external politics and good internal success.

You clearly watched Legend of Korra wrong. Asami is literally Zuko's story told backwards

so naturally it should function backwards going from hero to sociopath.

>Watched her mom the most precious thing on earth getting lit on fire by Triad
>No sign of psychological scaring
>Father turned into a deranged sociopath after the event
>Still no sign of mental tissue tearing like wet cardboard as she slowly goes down the same road of losing her mind.

You posted the same pic twice.

And maybe I did. And I have near no prior knowledge of the thing, so the only option available to me is to look at things objectively.

Accident. I really need to name these pictures better

Anywho I am making Avatar Comics.

Just don't try make Asami into a one-dimensional retard. Hate it when writers do that.

Otherwise, link it to me when you're done pls. Or chuck me up on a mention list.

Define 1-dimensional.

My comic is about how Asami developed PTSD and Sociopathy after her mother died as well as an inferiority complex where she feels she constantly needs to be in control of other people's live to prevent catastrophe.

She feels the only way true equality can happen is if everyone is equally poor and miserable.

Weren't we friends already? Good to have you onboard anyway man.