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kingoshark    

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Date Signed Up:11/10/2011
Last Login:10/01/2014
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#81 - I decided to forgo college and joined the Navy instead. Since … 09/23/2014 on (untitled) 0
#53 - >Finally make it back to compartment. >Everyone is g…  [+] (6 new replies) 09/12/2014 on Anon's Boot Camp Experience +67
User avatar #104 - catburglarpenis (09/12/2014) [-]
This makes me happy. My best Navy Boot story was when our rovers caught some dude jerkin' it in the head. His log entry read- "0348 ROVERS DALTON AND SMITH FOUND RECRUIT BAILEY IN THE HEAD... NOT USING HEAD."

Amazing. The rest of my four year career went a lot better, including vampire bites, dudes that lived in Chicago up and walking their asses home for the weekend in the middle of Boot (found him in SEPS before "A" School), and multiple stories involving alcohol and Asia. Now I'm in Army ROTC because my G.I. Bill is running out, so I hope the adventure continues.
User avatar #93 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
damn that makes me almost miss bootcamp
my second RDC would always cropdust me personally when I was on watch, I would always get back at him by hotboxing the drying room in the laundry in the morning right before he would come to inspect it
my favorite thing he ever said was "damn, bad news for you, the gerbil died"
then he ITE'd the entire division
was HoF worth it?
not one damn bit
User avatar #82 - dafuqisdisshit (09/12/2014) [-]
oh my gos thats glorious
User avatar #79 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
Post this shit as OC

Please for the love of all that is fuck.. his is the first time I've laughed this hard since I discovered r/talesoftards...
User avatar #109 - joeypie (09/12/2014) [-]
I dont know what r/talesoftards is but I wanna know, got a link man?
User avatar #121 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
I originally spelled it wrong, but here you go

www.reddit.com/r/tardtales/

Be warned that too much of this sub is a bad thing when it comes to lulz
#41 - >2 bags about a liter each filled with soapy water. >…  [+] (21 new replies) 09/11/2014 on Anon's Boot Camp Experience +80
User avatar #57 - newforomador (09/12/2014) [-]
You got part 3 yet?
#53 - kingoshark (09/12/2014) [-]
>Finally make it back to compartment.
>Everyone is gathered up around Senior Chief.
>Apparently noone could fold clothes for shit.
>Slip in and watch as we learn the art of NWU origami.
>drumsinthedeep.wmp
>Sprint away from the folding lesson to unload that which should not be.
>Sit down on commode, ready to unload.
>Before I can begin, Senior Chief, Unhappy with me leaving in the middle of lesson time, Storms in.
>"KINGOSHARK, WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU DOING LEAVING WHILE I'M TEACHING?"
>Before I can respond my ass speaks for me.
>A rollarcoaster of a fart, with peaks and valleys straight out of the Himalayas .
>Pregnant pause.
>Senior Chief, sounding a exasperated, tells me to carry on.
>Got the enjoy not doing anything but sit on the pot for the rest of the day.
User avatar #104 - catburglarpenis (09/12/2014) [-]
This makes me happy. My best Navy Boot story was when our rovers caught some dude jerkin' it in the head. His log entry read- "0348 ROVERS DALTON AND SMITH FOUND RECRUIT BAILEY IN THE HEAD... NOT USING HEAD."

Amazing. The rest of my four year career went a lot better, including vampire bites, dudes that lived in Chicago up and walking their asses home for the weekend in the middle of Boot (found him in SEPS before "A" School), and multiple stories involving alcohol and Asia. Now I'm in Army ROTC because my G.I. Bill is running out, so I hope the adventure continues.
User avatar #93 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
damn that makes me almost miss bootcamp
my second RDC would always cropdust me personally when I was on watch, I would always get back at him by hotboxing the drying room in the laundry in the morning right before he would come to inspect it
my favorite thing he ever said was "damn, bad news for you, the gerbil died"
then he ITE'd the entire division
was HoF worth it?
not one damn bit
User avatar #82 - dafuqisdisshit (09/12/2014) [-]
oh my gos thats glorious
User avatar #79 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
Post this shit as OC

Please for the love of all that is fuck.. his is the first time I've laughed this hard since I discovered r/talesoftards...
User avatar #109 - joeypie (09/12/2014) [-]
I dont know what r/talesoftards is but I wanna know, got a link man?
User avatar #121 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
I originally spelled it wrong, but here you go

www.reddit.com/r/tardtales/

Be warned that too much of this sub is a bad thing when it comes to lulz
User avatar #52 - riffibanezius (09/12/2014) [-]
Did they not notice this before? My DI's woulda been like Turn on the vacuum cleaner...
#51 - butakun (09/12/2014) [-]
This shit is better than the content. Kingoshark, you should just post the whole thing as OC.
User avatar #50 - thelovely (09/12/2014) [-]
Wheres part 3?!?!?!
User avatar #48 - delio (09/12/2014) [-]
wheres part 3?
#46 - pwnfrnzy (09/12/2014) [-]
We're waiting. . .
#44 - Elemental (09/12/2014) [-]
Dear lord I need the next bit. I leave for basic on saturday.
User avatar #73 - Lulzilla (09/12/2014) [-]
Don't think for yourself is another good tip. Do everything the DI's tell you down to the fucking point. If you feel like a tough mf try to become guide or atleast a squad leader. Being Guide or Squad leader will give you command over the rest of the platoon. So if they act up or some dip shits act up you smoke them and smoke them hard. You'll have your trouble recruits. Trust me. Every platoon has them.
User avatar #65 - dagold (09/12/2014) [-]
A word of advice: Depending on your DS or DI, the best answer you can give is "No excuse, Sir!/ Drill Sergeant!" Because if you try to give them excuses they will eat you alive.

Also, never call a drill sergeant sir or ma'am, and never call a drill instructor drill sergeant. They will smoke you until they throw up from watching you throw up so much.
#43 - cheastnut (09/11/2014) [-]
what is LLD?
User avatar #63 - olias (09/12/2014) [-]
Light Limited Duty. Basically, it just means the RDC's can't smoke your ass. Which isn't to say they can't humiliate in some other creative ways.
User avatar #94 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
hell, they made me stand watch when I was LLD
fucking wisdom teeth man, screwed the entire division up
#117 - Elemental (09/12/2014) [-]
I didn't get sworn in the first time because of my fucking wisdom teeth. Got those fuckers out the next day
User avatar #47 - hybredmoon (09/12/2014) [-]
Light limited duty
#39 - My bootcamp story: >Have horrible gas. >Talking …  [+] (24 new replies) 09/11/2014 on Anon's Boot Camp Experience +87
#103 - illumizanotti (09/12/2014) [-]
shut the fuck up cancerfag
#126 - zerocousland (09/18/2014) [-]
Yeah, i remember my first shitpost.
#41 - kingoshark (09/11/2014) [-]
>2 bags about a liter each filled with soapy water.
>ohgodwhy.png
>Feel cold sensation in butthole.
>OH DEAR LAWD.
>Watch as both bags rapidly empty their contents.
>In less than a minute my ass was filled with 2 liters of warm soapy liquid.
>Nurse tells me I have to let it sit for at least 15 minutes before using the head.
>Doesn't sound too bad.
>Longest 15 minutes of my life.
>Feel like I have a hurricane Katrina in my intestines, with twice the flooding.
>Make it 14 minutes and say "Fuck it"
>waddle over to the toilet.
>Spend the next 45 minutes turning my lower gastro track inside out.
>Had to flush at least 4 times.
>Leave the head feeling like a pretty boy after his first night in prison.
>Go tell Doc I'm done.
>Gives me Milk of Magnesia.
>"What's this for?"
>"Get's rid of whatever's left."
>"Doc, I'm pretty sure I saw that lego I swallowed when I was 5, there ain't nothin left."
>"Just a precaution, btw you're gonna be LLD for the rest of the day."
>better than nothing.
>Limp back to the compartment.
will finish in next.
User avatar #57 - newforomador (09/12/2014) [-]
You got part 3 yet?
#53 - kingoshark (09/12/2014) [-]
>Finally make it back to compartment.
>Everyone is gathered up around Senior Chief.
>Apparently noone could fold clothes for shit.
>Slip in and watch as we learn the art of NWU origami.
>drumsinthedeep.wmp
>Sprint away from the folding lesson to unload that which should not be.
>Sit down on commode, ready to unload.
>Before I can begin, Senior Chief, Unhappy with me leaving in the middle of lesson time, Storms in.
>"KINGOSHARK, WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU DOING LEAVING WHILE I'M TEACHING?"
>Before I can respond my ass speaks for me.
>A rollarcoaster of a fart, with peaks and valleys straight out of the Himalayas .
>Pregnant pause.
>Senior Chief, sounding a exasperated, tells me to carry on.
>Got the enjoy not doing anything but sit on the pot for the rest of the day.
User avatar #104 - catburglarpenis (09/12/2014) [-]
This makes me happy. My best Navy Boot story was when our rovers caught some dude jerkin' it in the head. His log entry read- "0348 ROVERS DALTON AND SMITH FOUND RECRUIT BAILEY IN THE HEAD... NOT USING HEAD."

Amazing. The rest of my four year career went a lot better, including vampire bites, dudes that lived in Chicago up and walking their asses home for the weekend in the middle of Boot (found him in SEPS before "A" School), and multiple stories involving alcohol and Asia. Now I'm in Army ROTC because my G.I. Bill is running out, so I hope the adventure continues.
User avatar #93 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
damn that makes me almost miss bootcamp
my second RDC would always cropdust me personally when I was on watch, I would always get back at him by hotboxing the drying room in the laundry in the morning right before he would come to inspect it
my favorite thing he ever said was "damn, bad news for you, the gerbil died"
then he ITE'd the entire division
was HoF worth it?
not one damn bit
User avatar #82 - dafuqisdisshit (09/12/2014) [-]
oh my gos thats glorious
User avatar #79 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
Post this shit as OC

Please for the love of all that is fuck.. his is the first time I've laughed this hard since I discovered r/talesoftards...
User avatar #109 - joeypie (09/12/2014) [-]
I dont know what r/talesoftards is but I wanna know, got a link man?
User avatar #121 - elcreepo (09/12/2014) [-]
I originally spelled it wrong, but here you go

www.reddit.com/r/tardtales/

Be warned that too much of this sub is a bad thing when it comes to lulz
User avatar #52 - riffibanezius (09/12/2014) [-]
Did they not notice this before? My DI's woulda been like Turn on the vacuum cleaner...
#51 - butakun (09/12/2014) [-]
This shit is better than the content. Kingoshark, you should just post the whole thing as OC.
User avatar #50 - thelovely (09/12/2014) [-]
Wheres part 3?!?!?!
User avatar #48 - delio (09/12/2014) [-]
wheres part 3?
#46 - pwnfrnzy (09/12/2014) [-]
We're waiting. . .
#44 - Elemental (09/12/2014) [-]
Dear lord I need the next bit. I leave for basic on saturday.
User avatar #73 - Lulzilla (09/12/2014) [-]
Don't think for yourself is another good tip. Do everything the DI's tell you down to the fucking point. If you feel like a tough mf try to become guide or atleast a squad leader. Being Guide or Squad leader will give you command over the rest of the platoon. So if they act up or some dip shits act up you smoke them and smoke them hard. You'll have your trouble recruits. Trust me. Every platoon has them.
User avatar #65 - dagold (09/12/2014) [-]
A word of advice: Depending on your DS or DI, the best answer you can give is "No excuse, Sir!/ Drill Sergeant!" Because if you try to give them excuses they will eat you alive.

Also, never call a drill sergeant sir or ma'am, and never call a drill instructor drill sergeant. They will smoke you until they throw up from watching you throw up so much.
#43 - cheastnut (09/11/2014) [-]
what is LLD?
User avatar #63 - olias (09/12/2014) [-]
Light Limited Duty. Basically, it just means the RDC's can't smoke your ass. Which isn't to say they can't humiliate in some other creative ways.
User avatar #94 - TardytheTurtle (09/12/2014) [-]
hell, they made me stand watch when I was LLD
fucking wisdom teeth man, screwed the entire division up
#117 - Elemental (09/12/2014) [-]
I didn't get sworn in the first time because of my fucking wisdom teeth. Got those fuckers out the next day
User avatar #47 - hybredmoon (09/12/2014) [-]
Light limited duty
#32 - ***** , here is the ******* sarcophag…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/07/2014 on rekt +5
#58 - mr skeltal (09/07/2014) [-]
I could write a whole essay about this. But long story short: that granite coffer inside the pyramid and your usual sarcophagus in which Pharaohs and nobles were put to rest differ too much.
Compared to the final resting places of those powerful people, that granite box would have been an insult.

A credible theory would be that it was used for ceremonial uses.
#45 - mr skeltal (09/07/2014) [-]
>mummy
>rotted away

pick one
#29 - That's for Uncle Huebert, not mummy. 09/07/2014 on rekt +3
#21 - The only reason there might not be any bodies in Giza is tomb …  [+] (4 new replies) 09/07/2014 on rekt 0
#31 - mr skeltal (09/07/2014) [-]
Except they didn't.
#32 - kingoshark (09/07/2014) [-]
Nigga, here is the fucking sarcophagus in the goddamn pyramid. You know what those were used for? DEAD PEOPLE. The pyramid was mad in the old kingdom fucking millennia ago and before the Egyptians had perfected the art of mummification. The body has long since rotted away/been desecrated.
#58 - mr skeltal (09/07/2014) [-]
I could write a whole essay about this. But long story short: that granite coffer inside the pyramid and your usual sarcophagus in which Pharaohs and nobles were put to rest differ too much.
Compared to the final resting places of those powerful people, that granite box would have been an insult.

A credible theory would be that it was used for ceremonial uses.
#45 - mr skeltal (09/07/2014) [-]
>mummy
>rotted away

pick one
#7 - ***** where the **** do you think mu…  [+] (8 new replies) 09/07/2014 on rekt +151
#46 - greenfiredragon (09/07/2014) [-]
umm... like anon below me said they come from the tombs in the The Valley of Kings, not the pyramids
#66 - gnegg (09/07/2014) [-]
Parts have been found inside of the pyramids. Not entirely sure, but I think that The Valley of Kings was used during the last part of the Egyptian era, because they got fed up with building pyramids (there are probably more reasons behind this).
#38 - mr skeltal (09/07/2014) [-]
The Valley of Kings. Not the pyramids. Just FYI.
#28 - mr skeltal (09/07/2014) [-]
your ass
User avatar #29 - kingoshark (09/07/2014) [-]
That's for Uncle Huebert, not mummy.
#19 - LassieIsCool (09/07/2014) [-]
I've only known of them in small graves not the big ones. I'm probably wrong.
#11 - mahusername (09/07/2014) [-]
um... I'm going to take a guess and say their graves
#8 - leveltwowizard (09/07/2014) [-]
Well, when a boy mummy and a girl mummy love each other very much...
#38 - Honestly, big picture, they probably don't even see them as pe… 09/05/2014 on So who is the real bad guy? 0
#29 - The goal behind bombing is never to protect individual civilia…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/05/2014 on So who is the real bad guy? +2
#31 - addictanon (09/05/2014) [-]
The distinction I'm trying to make is between doing something by accident and doing something while accepting the consequences.

The US intentionally killed civilians as part of their effort to destroy strategic targets.

al-Qaeda intentionally killed civilians as part of their effort to forcefully spread their religious philosophy.

(please don't nitpick the motives in that example, I'm just trying to illustrate the above distinction)
User avatar #38 - kingoshark (09/05/2014) [-]
Honestly, big picture, they probably don't even see them as people. They are simply "bad PR" surrounding "good PR." From the boots on the ground, at least in my experience in the Navy is there is a strong mentality of "our job is to kill people, warheads on foreheads, the business of the military is killing people." Possibly a coping method, and honestly outside the SEALs and Seabees, most navy people don't really put boots to dirt and shoot people. For everyone else, we get a missile and a spot to put that missile. Not really sure where the "monsters killing orphans" are, it's just people impersonally sharing information and deciding that the results justify the costs.
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