Wooooah mama! You're my first comment, I hope that counts.

yes

Sweet. Do you wanna be my first friend too? Oh god...maybe I shouldn't have asked...this is awkward.

I like your way of "avoiding people"

I just don't like talking with people in person. I'm better at writing than talking.

you should try singing then

My singing voice sounds like a pod of dying orcas.

so,... rare and unique?

Hah, I wish! It's more like haunting and repulsive.

it's all a matter of perspective...
so how are you now?

I'm good I guess. How're you?

fine, thinking about what to have for dinner

Food is good, but blueberry smoothies are best.

that will only make me more hungry

For reals? Dude. I would live off of blueberry smoothies if I could. I just don't want to be a vegan, and bacon doesn't taste good in my smoothies.

now think I will have spaghetti with bacon

That sounds pretty awesome.

I hope so, I will slurp it all fast like a gluton

Good luck sir. Enjoy your awesome dish of bacon with spaghetti.