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ihatecarltonbanks

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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:9/18/2011
Last Login:5/05/2015
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Comment Ranking:#10211
Highest Content Rank:#836
Highest Comment Rank:#3403
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Level 188 Content: Anon Annihilator → Level 189 Content: Anon Annihilator
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Level 221 Comments: Mind Blower → Level 222 Comments: Mind Blower
Subscribers:3
Content Views:211417
Times Content Favorited:239 times
Total Comments Made:1214
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latest user's comments

#7 - source 17 hours ago on Toy Story +1
#6 - Pretty positive it's how it should have ended 17 hours ago on Toy Story 0
#4 - "scientists" 05/04/2015 on What a time to be alive 0
#9 - Dang this is from even before my yellow funnyjunk days. this i… 05/04/2015 on I will survive 0
#94 - How about just a new battlefront with some modern day features… 05/04/2015 on Star Wars Battlefront 3 0
#7 - I'd be scared too if my baskets were that low, I had team mate… 05/03/2015 on What the face of... 0
#147 - Might as well join the worst gaming community in history. 05/03/2015 on Chivalry Giveaway 0
#2 - The Genesis one actually has an explanation. In a lot of langu…  [+] (32 new replies) 05/01/2015 on QI Comp +77
#47 - Ken M (05/02/2015) [-]
If you consider the region it most likely was referencing the pomegranate.
User avatar #7 - charagrin (05/02/2015) [-]
Actually, the fruit was not a fruit at all. It is a euphemism for sex.
#56 - Loppytaffy (05/02/2015) [-]
Sex with the devil?
Sounds kinky as hell.
User avatar #64 - nigeltheoutlaw (05/02/2015) [-]
Well, he was a snake.
User avatar #65 - Loppytaffy (05/02/2015) [-]
Gadriel wasn't being a shit doorman to the Garden, he was being Eve's wingman.
User avatar #44 - nimba (05/02/2015) [-]
sounds reasonable to me
User avatar #6 - demigodofmadness (05/02/2015) [-]
It's not unreasonable to believe there are many translation errors in the bible, considering the vast amount of times it has been translated. Not that I'm anti-bible or whatever just a statement.

Maybe God really said, "Get 2 of the baller animal Noah" not every species.

And it's possible it was all metaphorical but the catholic church when they were omitting sections was like, "Ehh, maybe we'll take this part out"
#66 - nigeltheoutlaw (05/02/2015) [-]
Possible euphoria incoming:

This is the biggest reason why I can't take the Bible (among other holy books) seriously. Not only has it had many books arbitrarily removed or added to it en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_apocrypha www.catholiceducation.org/en/culture/catholic-contributions/the-missing-books-of-the-bible.html , but so much of the shit has been lost through translation that it's now the biggest game of telephone in history. Taking any of it as truth beyond a parable when it's been so bastardized and corrupted, even if it was once the literal word of god, strikes me as dumb as shit. The fact that anybody who knows the history of their own religion is still able to not only take it seriously, but claim any of it as fact really blows my mind.
User avatar #73 - demigodofmadness (05/02/2015) [-]
It becomes integral to their personality. Most people of faith will rationalize any doubts and dismiss them in whatever way they can. Many will just rationalize by saying to themselves, "None of that is true".

When a belief is that embedded in a persons psyche, something they've believed as fact their whole life, it takes a whole lot to get them to doubt it. You'd see the same thing with the euphoric atheists if suddenly there was proof that God exists.

I for one believe there is a god that created, or governs, the universe but it is not the god of any religion, or the books just interpreted him in different ways.
#9 - popeflatus (05/02/2015) [-]
This is where the Genesis stories come from.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_of_Gilgamesh
User avatar #18 - abysszero (05/02/2015) [-]
Actually the Epic of Gilgamesh takes place around the same time as noah and the Ark.
If anything it proves key events happened.
#20 - popeflatus (05/02/2015) [-]
The first Jews, the Israelites first appeared over 600 years after the Epic of Gilgamesh was written.
User avatar #74 - abysszero (05/02/2015) [-]
Which would prove your point if the bible was a re-write of Gilgamesh or contradictory to it in some way instead of being two stories with similar (world altering) events and settings happening simultaneously.
#75 - popeflatus (05/03/2015) [-]
The Genesis story was taken from the Epic of Gilgamesh. There was no global flood though- it was most likely based on a real local flood back then but then turned into mythology as primitive cultures are prone to do.

Geology, archaeology and genetics prove there never was a global flood.
User avatar #76 - abysszero (05/03/2015) [-]
www.criscenzo.com/jaguarsun/popolvuh.html

Then I guess the Mayan's were also fans of Gilgamesh.
#77 - popeflatus (05/03/2015) [-]
Not any major similarities there. AS I said before, all primitive people use mythology to explain what they don't understand. It doesn't change the fact that there never was a global flood either.
User avatar #78 - abysszero (05/04/2015) [-]
Lack of evidence isn't counter evidence and of course a natural disaster would be blamed on angry gods but that persists even today and has nothing to do with facts and observations.
#79 - popeflatus (15 hours ago) [-]
The observation that in the geological and fossil record we see no flood is evidence for their not being a global flood. We see no genetic bottle neck in the genetic record either at 4-6000 years ago. This evidence demonstrates there never was this flood and hence the Noah story is a myth.
User avatar #80 - abysszero (6 hours ago) [-]
I see no way a four month flood can leave a fossil record as most fish skeletons would either be picked off by birds or written off as fish caught and brought inland similar for geological records. most ancient lakes being identified by shells,fish skeletons and coral all which would take years to develop. and as for a genetic bottle neck the groups that survived the flood would either be advanced enough to have boats or groups which fled to high ground which is just about every early civilization.
#81 - popeflatus (6 hours ago) [-]
The geologic record simply shows that no flood took place. We know that there was no genetic bottle neck and that a handful of animals can't just head back to their original locations.
Take the Australian Aboriginals for example. They have a continuous linage that goes back 40,000 years! No flood killed them off.
User avatar #82 - abysszero (6 hours ago) [-]
they were also known to be skilled fishers
#83 - popeflatus (6 hours ago) [-]
So what? They have an uninterrupted linage that is proven by genetics and archaeology. The flood never happened.
User avatar #84 - abysszero (6 hours ago) [-]
implying they likely had a sizable fleet of fishing ships
#85 - popeflatus (6 hours ago) [-]
No evidence for that at all. In fact there is no evidence of a flood anywhere at all.
User avatar #86 - abysszero (6 hours ago) [-]
Ancient records are compiled of: rock layers, drilled ice samples and fossil records.
none of which are accurate to a year as sedimentation takes years and animals don't grow up to drop dead a in anything less then 10.
#87 - popeflatus (6 hours ago) [-]
They don't have to be accurate to a year to show there was no global flood. Where is the evidence for this flood?
User avatar #92 - abysszero (5 hours ago) [-]
biblical setting is close by. but yes I did assume flood would be global and I wouldn't be surprised if many parts of the bible are exaggerated but I still believe many events throughout it to be rooted in actual fact.
#93 - popeflatus (5 hours ago) [-]
Where is the evidence though? Belief means nothing if it is not demonstrable and science has already shown that the bible is myth anyways. Time to give it away friend.
User avatar #90 - abysszero (5 hours ago) [-]
When we unearth enough of Egypt to get their clear timeline or use newly discovered faster then light travel to get a view of earth thousands of light years away we'll have more reliable records until then I'm just going to assume our ancestors knew a flood when they saw one, even if they do mistake random large animals for demons and monsters.
#91 - popeflatus (5 hours ago) [-]
The flood that was written about in Gilgamesh was just a local one and not a globe covering one. Assumption is the mother of all fuckups too.
User avatar #88 - abysszero (6 hours ago) [-]
other then the written record what more can you expect? fossilized water? it's not like a few fish skeleton's out of place can prove anything. I'm not an expert on floods but other then flash floods or tsunami's they don't seem to leave much behind other then water.
#89 - popeflatus (6 hours ago) [-]
The written record in the bible means nothing. It is the same story as I said earlier as the Epic of Gilgamesh. If there was a global flood that would be seen in the geologic record and the genetics of all life today. It is not and hence there was no flood.
#72 - This... is actually helpful. I'm moving to travel all of europ…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/30/2015 on Take this with you if you... 0
User avatar #113 - dudeyouisnasty (05/01/2015) [-]
Dude, wear a fucking joockstrap and put your wallet in it. No one has ever stolen my money this way.
#22 - The first female I ever found myself attracted to was Dorothy … 04/30/2015 on This generation is weird 0

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