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Last status update:
Personal Info
Gender: male
Facebook Profile: Nice try Admin.
Consoles Owned: PC, PS3
Video Games Played: Mass Effect, Far Cry, Battlefield, Terraria, Starbound, Warface, TF2,
Date Signed Up:7/21/2011
Last Login:5/05/2015
Location:Southern US
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#3259
Comment Ranking:#241
Highest Content Rank:#368
Highest Comment Rank:#232
Content Thumbs: 12331 total,  13826 ,  1495
Comment Thumbs: 15412 total,  17618 ,  2206
Content Level Progress: 24.1% (241/1000)
Level 212 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 23.2% (232/1000)
Level 313 Comments: Wizard → Level 314 Comments: Wizard
Content Views:104860
Times Content Favorited:1673 times
Total Comments Made:2655
FJ Points:25564
Favorite Tags: accident (2) | car (2) | Crash (2) | Dildo (2) | fire (2) | Fireman (2) | of (2) | ponies (2)
I was told I could do anything, but nobody told me I had to get a degree to do it.

latest user's comments

#19 - **gjtz used "*roll picture*"** **gjtz rolled image ** Why…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/19/2015 on gps +2
#23 - mondominiman (04/19/2015) [-]
Give some people the chance and they'll show how truly retarded they are
User avatar #22 - derpwolf (04/19/2015) [-]
Once I ended up two hours away from home because I took a left turn instead of a right turn and didn't turn around.

It was back when I was a really new driver and hated left turns, so I didn't just U-turn around.
#4 - **gjtz used "*roll picture*"** **gjtz rolled image ** I'v…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/18/2015 on its gonna be ok sweetie +16
User avatar #6 - nyxeos (04/18/2015) [-]
I call my one friend The Technology Assassin. Her ways of destroying ipods have included accidentally: putting it through the wash, dropping it on concrete, and drowning it in a soap dish from the condensation of steam from her shower.

I once handed her my ipod to play a game and the second she touched it the screen went white. I couldn't even force reset it, I had to wait for the battery to die before I was able to turn it back on again, and then it worked perfectly fine. It knew man, it fucking knew.
#9 - Common Pepe (04/18/2015) [-]
I have similar issues. I recently discovered possible reason. I produce several times more static electricity than other people. I don't know, maybe I'm superdry or sth. And charges are quite imprssive because @ my one of my clients office there's a particular type of carped and everytime I visit them I produce large sparks while touching usb ports for example. Cracks are loud enough to be heard from few meters away. No wonder I kill a lot of storage devices.
#9 - Is this because of the PC release? I think it's absol…  [+] (3 new replies) 04/17/2015 on half life 2 0
#66 - Common Pepe (04/18/2015) [-]
"Is this because of the PC release?"

Jee, I don't know.
User avatar #38 - thenippyone (04/18/2015) [-]
I never played GTA V on console and now I just don't give a fuck after waiting so long
User avatar #29 - Welshhobo (04/18/2015) [-]
Its almost as if theyre a company trying to make money.....
#6 - I'm really glad I got through my stupid phase before camera phones. 04/17/2015 on The Axe +22
#16 - Comment deleted 04/17/2015 on BATMAN V SUPERMAN TRAILER LEAK +3
#8 - I'd slap ******* anybody for one million dollars. Where…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/17/2015 on I would slap him so hard +124
User avatar #31 - whtkid (04/18/2015) [-]
But you wouldn't slap me, right bby?
User avatar #36 - mvtjets (04/18/2015) [-]
Only peen slapping
#4 - Once you've measured the length of your rope, cut off another 5 feet. 04/17/2015 on I am Spiderman +51
#7 - [calcium intensifies]  [+] (4 new replies) 04/17/2015 on just big boned +14
User avatar #10 - zombiemanz (04/17/2015) [-]
so loud it make me jump when it started you owe me a new heart
#24 - Ulmer (04/18/2015) [-]
Would you say that it was... 2 spooky?
#57 - zombiemanz (04/18/2015) [-]
User avatar #46 - foamytesquirrel (04/18/2015) [-]
Why does that skeleton have skin-covered hands?
#56 - **gjtz used "*roll 1, pokemon*"** **gjtz rolls Geodude** O…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/17/2015 on Funny Pokedex Entries Comp #3 0
User avatar #57 - mymommasallama (04/17/2015) [-]
**mymommasallama used "*roll 5, faggots*"**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
oh yeah it can be pretty fun
heres a content addy posted with a complete list of rolls and other things you can do funnyjunk.com/How+to+roll+and+describe/funny-pictures/5503279/
#21 - Picture 04/17/2015 on Tumblr Self Esteem Raiser Comp 0
#32 - 99% of the time, you can handle it. But that tiny 1% will get …  [+] (1 new reply) 04/17/2015 on Human +43
#41 - vincentvalkerii (04/17/2015) [-]
#30 - If you weren't a Marine, would their death really matter to yo…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/17/2015 on Human +1
User avatar #98 - captainprincess (04/17/2015) [-]
Do forgive me for feeling a little insulted at the idea that I wouldn't care about someone's death

Actually it's more than a little
But I figure you weren't TRYING to, maybe

No I care when people die
People I know, people I've bonded with

Would YOU care about a death in a different regiment, or company? Would you care about an Airforce man falling to his doom as much as you care about your own marine family?

About as much as I would care about an old lady trying to cross the street and getting hit by a car, I would imagine. You'd care, and then you'd get over it.
#34 - Killasoup (04/17/2015) [-]
You are correct in that if not a part of the brotherhood, it does not hit you as strongly. It is human nature to care less for strangers than one would for people known to you. I was in over 26 countries while a Marine, and in all of the different units I just showed up to, I never felt like a stranger. It changes a person, and you never change back.
#65 - I haven't been able to play online in a long time. I miss my bros. 04/17/2015 on GTA V snapshot +2
#39 - Man, what the **** is this thing?  [+] (1 new reply) 04/17/2015 on Funny Pokedex Entries Comp #3 0
User avatar #58 - kjftiger (04/17/2015) [-]
Basically the same concept as Machop
#38 - **gjtz used "*roll 1, 0-719*"** **gjtz rolls 532** Come on…  [+] (25 new replies) 04/17/2015 on Funny Pokedex Entries Comp #3 0
#73 - answer has deleted their comment.
#72 - answer has deleted their comment.
User avatar #71 - notapancake (04/17/2015) [-]
**notapancake used "*roll 1, pokemon*"**
**notapancake rolls Hawlucha**
User avatar #70 - Sasher (04/17/2015) [-]
**Sasher used "*roll 1, pokemon*"**
**Sasher rolls Hitmontop**
User avatar #67 - puffingpuffin (04/17/2015) [-]
**puffingpuffin used "*roll 1, 0-719*"**
**puffingpuffin rolls 034**
Come on, cubone!
User avatar #69 - puffingpuffin (04/17/2015) [-]
A poison/ground ain't too bad!
User avatar #64 - lucariopwnz (04/17/2015) [-]
**lucariopwnz used "*roll 1, pokemon*"**
**lucariopwnz rolls Ivysaur**
User avatar #63 - lucariopwnz (04/17/2015) [-]
*roll 1, pokemon"
#60 - archoninterface (04/17/2015) [-]
**archoninterface used "*roll 1, 1-719*"**
**archoninterface rolls 447**
User avatar #54 - mymommasallama (04/17/2015) [-]
**mymommasallama used "*roll 1, pokemon*"**
**mymommasallama rolls Jolteon** im too lazy to look up numbers
User avatar #56 - gjtz (04/17/2015) [-]
**gjtz used "*roll 1, pokemon*"**
**gjtz rolls Geodude** OH SHIT I didn't know there was a roll for Pokemon!!
User avatar #57 - mymommasallama (04/17/2015) [-]
**mymommasallama used "*roll 5, faggots*"**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
**mymommasallama rolls Phanact**
oh yeah it can be pretty fun
heres a content addy posted with a complete list of rolls and other things you can do funnyjunk.com/How+to+roll+and+describe/funny-pictures/5503279/
User avatar #55 - mymommasallama (04/17/2015) [-]
awww yeah my favorite eveelution
User avatar #51 - wtfdoinamemyself (04/17/2015) [-]
**wtfdoinamemyself used "*roll 1, 0-719*"**
**wtfdoinamemyself rolls 306**
User avatar #52 - wtfdoinamemyself (04/17/2015) [-]
Awwwww yeah, motherfuckin' Aggron.
User avatar #48 - travrob (04/17/2015) [-]
*roll1, 1-719*
User avatar #49 - travrob (04/17/2015) [-]
**travrob used "*roll 1, 1-719*"**
**travrob rolls 532** Forgot the space
User avatar #50 - travrob (04/17/2015) [-]
User avatar #45 - fedoratheexplora (04/17/2015) [-]
**fedoratheexplora used "*roll 1, 1-719*"**
**fedoratheexplora rolls 219**
User avatar #46 - fedoratheexplora (04/17/2015) [-]
Aw yeah. Magcargo.
#42 - greedtheavaricious (04/17/2015) [-]
Evolves into Swampert 2.0
User avatar #41 - greedtheavaricious (04/17/2015) [-]
**greedtheavaricious used "*roll 1, 0-719*"**
**greedtheavaricious rolls 535**
User avatar #40 - migzdgreat (04/17/2015) [-]
**migzdgreat used "*roll 1, 0-719*"**
**migzdgreat rolls 349**
#39 - gjtz (04/17/2015) [-]
Man, what the fuck is this thing?
User avatar #58 - kjftiger (04/17/2015) [-]
Basically the same concept as Machop
#13 - Water absolutely terrifies me for the same reason the dark doe…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/15/2015 on Scary depths +8
#40 - Common Pepe (04/15/2015) [-]
#35 - oxYKellark (04/15/2015) [-]
#6 - **gjtz used "*roll picture*"** **gjtz rolled image ** I h… 04/15/2015 on THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS... 0
#11 - Picture 04/15/2015 on Revolver-rifle +5
#10 - Fully depends on the girl.  [+] (2 new replies) 04/15/2015 on I think twerking is gross. +3
#13 - aloeheels (04/15/2015) [-]
except that's go go dancing, you numpty.
#11 - imadeanaccountforu (04/15/2015) [-]
#14 - >Most overhyped I think we can all agree that Half…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/15/2015 on Video Game Razzies +22
#17 - redzeopoweranger (04/15/2015) [-]
User avatar #16 - CrowbarNinja (04/15/2015) [-]
I dont get how people just stop getting hyped for it. If it ever comes it will be like HL2, only a lot prettier, but with a buggy source engine making it fun. It will be another source game probably.
#37 - Self preservation instinct. Why would anybody hit me unless th… 04/15/2015 on Equality 0
#11 - Probably one of the few times I'll ever get to use this. 04/14/2015 on AND HIS NAME IS +58
#6 - I've got a story for you guys >Be me, 18, senior y…  [+] (28 new replies) 04/14/2015 on Equality +189
#80 - oxYKellark (04/15/2015) [-]
#75 - mochinolucky (04/15/2015) [-]
10/10 yfw
#64 - kurusudarling (04/15/2015) [-]
you: "id knock a girl flat if they hit me first"
her: >hits you< "like that"
you: >rekt that cunt

what did she expect?
#58 - syrianbro (04/15/2015) [-]
Fucking beautifull

great job.
User avatar #57 - alucord (04/15/2015) [-]
Great story AND a Tim Curry gif
#56 - alucord has deleted their comment.
User avatar #52 - comandante (04/15/2015) [-]
You are my hero
#45 - sladee (04/15/2015) [-]
#44 - unfitninjuh (04/15/2015) [-]
You have ascended beyond this corporeal realm. Now you must provide wisdom to the lucky few deemed worthy for your interest
#36 - Common Pepe (04/15/2015) [-]
i think i love you m8
#29 - logickid (04/15/2015) [-]
bitches be lucky I play violent video games, that shit makes me tame
fuck with me and five seconds later the side of your head is bleeding, I'm a big dude (all though I'm still weak.)
#42 - thelegitman (04/15/2015) [-]
A big guy??
#66 - electronicbacon (04/15/2015) [-]
4 u
#25 - Common Pepe (04/15/2015) [-]
Fuck yeah! I think men should be encouraged to beat the fucking shit out of bitches that step out of line and want to be all uppity and think they above the system. Chivalry is great and all, but you want to be a bitch? Then you about to be treated like a bitch! Prepare to have your damn jaw broken in half bitch!
#24 - Common Pepe (04/15/2015) [-]
best thing I've read in a long time

#22 - vexille (04/15/2015) [-]
You're a god.
#16 - stubbyftw (04/15/2015) [-]
Fuck yes.
#13 - Common Pepe (04/14/2015) [-]
Sounds like you went to a ghetto ass school. I don't blame you for hitting back, but why the uppercut? Seems like you already ended the fight with the first hit when she was already falling. No need to be excessive. It makes you look like a piece of shit who instigated the fight so you could beat on someone.
User avatar #37 - gjtz (04/15/2015) [-]
Self preservation instinct. Why would anybody hit me unless they had the intent to do damage to my body? I'm going to be honest, I'm a wuss in that aspect: I don't like to get hit, and I don't like fighting. That being said, I will bring the Wrath of God down upon somebody to keep myself from getting hurt, and if that means hitting somebody until they're incapacitated? Then so be it. However, I believe that once somebody is incapable of fighting back, that's the turning point between self defense and assault.

Also, the school I went to was a suburbs school, and was supposed to be the higher standard school of the district. It wasn't really ghetto, but there were enough shitheads that it made it a living hell sometimes. I was never one for putting up with people's shit, so I only had a few close friends, but people knew me as a reliable person. Only a handful of people didn't like me, and god damn did they not like me.

Lastly, the left hook was a really shitty, unpracticed haymaker type punch. It wasn't a complete retard swing out to the side, but I was kind of like a jab, just coming from the side rather than center. Remember Vietnam Tom when he knocked the shit out of that black guy who called for the amberlamps? Kind of like his punches, but probably not nearly as strong as his.
User avatar #17 - phoenixforger (04/15/2015) [-]
If you get in a fight, you better be sure to not stop fighting until it is absolutely done. If you don't go all out, then you didn't need to go at all. He told her that if he were punched by a girl, then he would retaliate with full force. When she hit him, she was agreeing to those terms because she thought they couldn't be true. He showed her otherwise. People in general need to learn that the real world does not house play fighting where people pull their punches. This guy had the right attitude, don't start a fight, but if you find yourself in one, then take it seriously.
User avatar #38 - dblej (04/15/2015) [-]
I'm gonna have to agree with you here. I don't fight often, but if I do I use enough force to end the fight to they point they don't fight back. That being said as soon as they stop fighting back it's over I back off and watch for retaliation when they get up.
User avatar #11 - ayumu (04/14/2015) [-]
Not really sure how to feel about this
She definitely deserved to get hit, but the injuries seem too severe
But she was also quite literally asking for it, so i 'unno

maybe it's the cracked orbit
eye injuries terrify me
User avatar #43 - psychosamurai (04/15/2015) [-]
As someone with poor vision, I can see where you're coming from.

But goddamn hoe had it coming.
#14 - reaperboy (04/14/2015) [-]
that is actually the only bone i have ever broken. muscle tissue got caught in the bone and had to have 2 surgeries to fix it. everything in my left eye is rotated 1 degree anticlockwise and i have a small blind spot which is weird for racket sports. I was told it takes the force of a baseball bat to break it.
#12 - tapeboy (04/14/2015) [-]
the point is she started it then continued to attack with law until she was proven wrong. its a responsibility thing. people of all races and genders need to understand causality to get by in life.
#8 - klutzyspy (04/14/2015) [-]
I hope she got more suspension
User avatar #7 - lunch (04/14/2015) [-]
how was lunch
User avatar #72 - jvizzlez (04/15/2015) [-]
I'm sure the justice was delicious.
#10 - Comment deleted  [+] (1 new reply) 04/14/2015 on *Muffled dick screams* +7
#11 - vincentvalkerii Comment deleted by gjtz
#12 - Damn Admin you crazy 04/14/2015 on that time PSY poo fingered... +11


Total unique items point value: 592 / Total items point value: 2574
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #19 - touches (04/07/2015) [-]
User avatar #17 - anonshenanigans (03/17/2015) [-]
Thank you for your services.
User avatar #9 - otot (03/15/2015) [-]
Richard, is this you?
User avatar #10 to #9 - gjtz (03/15/2015) [-]
If you're asking for Dick, you've come to the right place.
I don't even know a Richard. Sorry bruh.
User avatar #11 to #10 - otot (03/15/2015) [-]
I just saw a post where you had a kid and lost motivation for the gym. Have a friend who's going through the same thing. Good luck though.
User avatar #12 to #11 - gjtz (03/15/2015) [-]
Check on ibowtobacon, he made that comment.
User avatar #13 to #12 - otot (03/15/2015) [-]
Annnnnnnd, im a dumbass
User avatar #14 to #13 - gjtz (03/15/2015) [-]
Don't worry, I'm retarded for a few hours a day too.
User avatar #8 - gugek (03/04/2015) [-]
hey, i love you.
#6 - thelizardlord (02/14/2015) [-]
I did not forget
User avatar #4 - alexclement (08/02/2013) [-]
Do you want your FJ points? Only use is in items game and you don't play,
#5 to #4 - gjtz (08/02/2013) [-]
I'm still waiting for the FJ Store.
I'm still waiting for the FJ Store.
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